Day 31 Pt 3: Extraordinary "And this is where you made your first kills.." Caesar says softly and the crowd elicits gentle gasps at the brutality that erupts on the screen. My eyes focus on the screens that flash the depiction of the deaths of Keene, Adela and Veton however I am not actually watching. While the images portray a ruthless child killer, the actual child killer shows no emotion and it makes me sick to my stomach. When the television screens showed when I got bitten by the serpentine strikers and was screaming in pain I at least flinched but now, I feel nothing. All I feel is skeptical eyes resting on my face. The eyes of the families that I broke apart. I ruined all hopes that their child would come home alive and even when I try to think about just how bad that really is I can't find the motivation to even care. Caesar expertly beckons me back to reality as we go through how I felt, where I realized I could be a Victor. When I killed the girl from 12 and the boy from 11 and left little Mena there to bleed out. And when I killed Levila from 3 and took on Arno and Hero single-handedly. The screen shows me as I essentially get my ass kicked but still manage to live, over and over and over. I realize that I was lucky. I was lucky to have been able to kill Dimity from 8 and Ekon from 2. I can't even properly describe how I felt watching my last two kills. These were the closest of my near death experiences. The venom in their voices, the grips on my throat, the pain, the lack of air - all of it - comes rushing back to me and I can't do anything but sit there and let it captivate me. I can even smell Onyx's hands as they clenched around my throat, squeezing tighter and tighter. "Verina, darling." Caesar says suddenly. "You've been quiet for a bit." I immediately flash my teeth in a modest smile. "Oh yes, I'm sorry. What was the question?" *** "Arrrghh!" I scream as soon as I hit backstage where it's soundproof to the stage and cameras. In my anger, I knock over a plate with refreshments on it. My stomach churns as I immediately feel guilty about the people starving in the districts but I continue on wrecking and wreaking havoc on this empty space full of objects where I can't hurt anybody. Suddenly, Mags is in front of me, gripping my wrists with her old, frail hands and trying to tap into my mind for a second. "Why can't I get a handle on myself?" I spit. "Verina, you had probably the most strenuous Games anyone from District 4 ever had to endure. This is all completely normal." Mags says calmly, guiding my hands down to my sides. I towered over her small frame in high heels. "Nothing about this is normal." I say through gritted teeth. "Putting children in an arena is not normal. Killing children is not normal! I'm not normal!" "You're right. You're extraordinary." Mags says with a tiny smile. "You're no help." I snap walking away from her. When I am halfway down the hallway I turn around and look at her stunned, frozen figure. "I'm extraordinary because I'm a killer." I say flatly, turning back around and marching awkwardly in heels down the hallways to get to the elevator.