Nikko had been given no time to prepare. The moment she opened the door to her room, she was immediately face-to-face with Cresselia. Startled, and more than a bit displeased with the legendaries sudden appearance, Nikko stumbled back into her room with a choked yelp.
Cresselia's stern expression loosened a little. "Ah, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to startle you, Nikko."
Nikko nodded automatically, "no problem... ah, there's still a few minutes until morning briefing, would you like to come in and discuss things?" Her tails swooshed about invitingly, moving out of the way in case the legendary decided to enter the room.
"Yes. Of course," Cresselia said stiffly, and Nikko raised an eyebrow as she passed. The psychic-type sounded more than a bit uncomfortable.
Manaphy stepped up to Nikko's side as she moved to shut the door. "I'll go wake up the apprentices while you deal with business in here," they said, clearly wanting nothing to do with the complicated subject of Darkrai's fate. Nikko nodded sympathetically. "Of course, that'd be a big help. Don't wake him up though, we'll go get him once we're finished."
Manaphy nodded, patting Nikko on the shoulder with a pitying smile and quickly leaving. Nikko shut the door behind them with a sigh.
"So... what's the whole situation concerning... him." Cresselia said, trying to sound light as if she had no clue what they were talking about. Nikko took a deep breath.
"Darkrai has lost his memory, as predicted all those years ago." Nikko said casually.
Cresselia immediately dropped all awkwardness and small-talking facades. She hovered almost menacingly over Nikko, frowning seriously. "How long has he been here?"
"Three days now... two nights."
"Has his destructive tendencies survived the memory loss?"
"...sort of?"
Cresselia narrowed her eyes. "What do you mean?"
Nikko shrugged. "He hasn't really done anything bad at all. But he's told me that he has... urges."
Cresselia hummed, turning away thoughtfully. "Then it's just the beginning of him turning into the exact same person he was before. He loves boasting about the 'darkness' inside of him, he's always so proud of it-"
"No, no he didn't tell me like that," Nikko interrupted, shaking her head. "It was more like a- like a confession. He seemed... really guilty about it. I don't think he really knows that he's evil."
Cresselia tilted her head, her frown deepening. "So, your saying his personality remained, but as more of an... instinct?"
Nikko nodded, but followed the nod with a shrug. "I'm not sure. I think the memory loss has made him more neutral, but his natural tendency for evil is pulling him down one path, whilst I've been trying to convince him to be good. He seems very torn."
Cresselia didn't reply, her gaze fell to the floor as she considered this. Nikko needed to keep the conversation going though. They were on a time limit, so she pressed a little. "I contacted you because you knew him the best, and you were the only other one there when everything... happened. You know even more than I do about the kind of person he used to be."
Cresselia nodded, still lost in thought. "Of course."
Nikko pressed further, "so... do you think this new, memory-less Darkrai still deserves a chance at a new life? Should we risk helping him, or is he too inherently dangerous? Who should be involved with this process if we choose to proceed?"
Cresselia continued to hover silently across from her, face void of any emotion.
"Well?" Nikko prompted.
"...I want to see him before I make any decisions." Cresselia finally said, raising her gaze to return Nikko's determined look. They stared at each other for a moment, the tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. Before Nikko could respond, Manaphy knocked on the door. "Guildmaster, you are needed for morning briefings!"
The air was suddenly breathable again, and Nikko took a deep breath. She moved to leave, but before she exited the room, she turned her head to peer back at Cresselia. "Give me a few minutes. Prepare yourself for when you see him, because we don't need him figuring out that we knew him before all this."
Cresselia blinked in surprise. "You never told him?"
Nikko stepped out of the room silently, shutting the door. She smiled lightly at all her apprentices. This whole thing was already feeling like a bad idea.
After her duties were over for the time being, Nikko lead Cresselia towards Darkrai's room. It wasn't far, but the both of them seemed hesitant to get there, moving sluggishly. Cresselia bit her lip nervously.
Nikko knocked on the door with her paw. "Darkrai? Are you up?" Not waiting for a response, she opened the door and peered inside. Darkrai was hovering over his bed, his back to the door. He quickly spun around at Nikko's appearance, eyes wide.
"Nikko! I have to ask you something-"
Cresselia pushed passed Nikko and into the room, making Darkrai pause in surprise. Cresselia eyed him seriously for a moment before hovering back a little. The two stared at each other in silence, and not for the first time Nikko found herself wondering if Darkrai could somewhat recognize her.
There was no flare of sudden rage in Darkrai's eyes, so she assumed not. Nikko cleared her throat, drawing Darkrai's attention.
"This is Cresselia, a teammate of mine." Nikko stepped into the room, shutting the door behind her and moving to stand at Cresselia's side. "Remember when I told you that I knew others with dream abilities? Cresselia is one such person."
Darkrai blinked, turning to her curiously. "Really? You can make nightmares too?"
Cresselia winced, clearly trying to hide her disgust at such an idea. "No. I bring good dreams, actually." Nikko shifted uncomfortably. Cresselia really was a horrible liar. Her animosity was as clear as day.
Her obvious aggression made Darkrai narrow his eyes, and Nikko bit her lip. Attacking Cresselia for antagonizing him would not convince the psychic-type of anything. For a short moment the air was tense, and Nikko found herself unable to breath. But instead of attacking, Darkrai seemed to realize what he was thinking, and guiltily shied away from Cresselia's accusatory glare.
"Oh... Well, um, t-that's good!" He said, swallowing his irritation and feigning optimism instead. "Nikko has been teaching me how to make good dreams. Is that why she called you? Since you'd be a more knowledgeable teacher on the subject?"
Cresselia frowned deeper, "wha-" Nikko nudged her insistently. Blinking in realization, Cresselia hesitantly nodded. "Yes. Well. I suppose I could teach you some things... as long as you can prove that you're not as bad as you used to be, of course."
Nikko flinched. Cresselia didn't notice, but Darkrai did. "Huh?" He asked, raising an eyebrow inquisitively. "You... you used to... know me?" Cresselia raised her head up high in order to look regal, and taller than usual. "Of course! You-"
Nikko took a step forward, hoping to do as much damage control as possible before Cresselia ruined everything with her lack of subtlety. "We sent out some guild members to look for anyone who might know you, because surely you had friends or family somewhere. And who would have guessed that Cresselia, an old friend of mine, actually used to know you! How convenient! I invited her here as soon as possible so we could possibly learn more about your past and teach you about your powers all at the same time!" Nikko finished with an enthusiastic grin.
Darkrai blinked at her, considering her words before his gaze slowly roved back to the perplexed-looking psychic-type. "What was I like?" He asked softly, although Nikko could sense the disappointment already radiating off of him. He knew what her answer would be.
Cresselia seemed to finally catch on, tilting her head curiously upon noticing the hesitance with which he asked the question. Nikko could finally see cogs turning in her mind. "You were... uhm... kind of like a rival of mine, I guess?" Her voice was surprisingly gentle.
Darkrai narrowed his eyes, "In what way?"
Cresselia cleared her throat, hovering lower and relaxing her stance. "You always caused so much trouble, and I always had to chase after you to fix all the damage you did. When you disappeared... I was glad. So when I heard that you turned up here, I was..." she peered down at Nikko, "I was scared you'd destroy the place."
Darkrai hummed sadly, his eyes drifting to the floor. "I see..." He looked back up at her. "How long was I gone? You don't know what happened to me?"
Cresselia hesitated. Nikko peered up at her encouragingly. This was an easy lie. It would be easy...
"You've been gone... a long time. I don't-... I don't know what happened." A half-lie. Well, it was better than nothing.
"Cresselia agreed to help us teach you," Nikko said, her nerves lowered considerably, "I didn't expect her to initially antagonise you. I'm sorry." Darkrai shook his head. "No... It's my fault. I was the one... who was so... bad."
He raised his gaze and smiled weakly at Cresselia, clearly struggling to remain positive. "I'd be happy learn about dreams from you."
Nikko supposed that this could have gone worse. He seemed a bit more encouraged to be good. So why did this feel so... wrong?
To Nikko's dismay, Cresselia refused to be left alone with Darkrai. This meant that they would need to bring the both of them along on their training mission for Mawile. Nikko was very upset; she didn't want to reintroduce Darkrai to fighting yet, and Cresselia would undoubtedly get in the way. Not to mention Mawile's fear of Darkrai, which would only cause more complications. There was no way the child would be able to confidently do her best with a 'bad guy' following close behind. Even Manaphy seemed to lack optimism, but they reluctantly sent the four pokemon out anyway.
Upon reaching Foreboding Forest, Nikko steeled herself, taking a deep breath and setting her shoulders. "Alright Mawile, this time you'll be leading the pack." She lightly waved her tails, ushering the small pokemon who stood at her side to move forward.
"W-what? I don't know... what if I mess up?" Mawile whimpered, eyes darting back to Darkrai every few seconds, who was peering curiously around the area, paying her zero attention. Nikko shook her head. "Don't you worry 'bout a thing. I will be with you all the way. If you get into some trouble, I'll step in. Okay?"
Mawile nodded hesitantly. "Okay..." She stepped forwards, looking from side to side, analysing the dungeon. "Uhh... t-this way..." She started off, scampering through the mystery dungeon anxiously. Nikko was second behind her, followed by Darkrai, and Cresselia taking up the rear.
The group was rather silent for the most part, with the occasional question from Mawile. Nikko hummed softly to herself as they reached the area they had first encountered Darkrai in.
"Mawile, turn left here." Nikko said as the child came to a fork in the path. "H-huh?" She jumped, having not received any directions up until this point. Nikko nodded encouragingly. "I want to find that clearing we found Darkrai at. Remember?" Mawile blinked in surprise, but managed a weak nod. "Okay," she said, hesitantly turning down the left path.
Darkrai hovered up beside Nikko. "Where you found me?" He asked tentatively, as if the idea scared him a little. Nikko nodded encouragingly. "Yes, do you remember? I told you that we found you in this forest." Darkrai shrugged. "It must've... slipped my mind, I guess."
They arrived in a large clearing, empty of anything but an apple lying in the corner of the room. Mawile immediately set out to pick it up, like a good leader should. Nikko didn't follow her, instead she searched the room for any indication that it was the same as those few days ago. It felt like she had been dealing with Darkrai for so long, and the realization that it had only been a few days made her feel odd. So much had changed so quickly.
'There,' she thought, noticing a spot in the clearing where the grass was turned up as if someone had scraped it away. The smear of dirt and torn grass was almost ominous to look at. The final remnants of a life Nikko hoped Darkrai would never be able to reclaim.
The Ninetales stepped up to the gash of dirt, pawing at it to get Darkrai's attention. "Here it is! This is where we found you." Nikko said. Darkrai quickly approached, blinking down at the mess of dirt and unearthed grass. "It looks like I... had a rather bad fall." He said, humming thoughtfully. "I suppose that sort of explains my injuries."
He turned to her. "Did you see what happened to me?" Nikko shook her head, "no. When we got here you were already knocked out."
Darkrai looked back at the smear of dirt and rubble, and Nikko could see he was lost in thought. What he was thinking so hard about, Nikko wasn't sure, but the final remains of his past life clearly troubled him. He didn't draw closer, instead keeping a good distance away from it. Nikko couldn't help but smile a little at the sight. It was kind of... cute, how uneasy he was. He was so different from how he used to be.
The thought made her wonder how much she had changed from when she had been a human. That thought soured her mood a little, and the smile slipped from her face. Mawile stepped up to her, followed by Cresselia. "Guildmaster, I'm ready to continue!" Mawile said, grasping the strap of the treasure bag with faux confidence. Nikko smiled pleasantly at her, "then lead us on!" Mawile nodded, steeling herself, and the group made its way towards the edge of the clearing.
Darkrai began to fall behind as they went, too lost in thought to be able to keep up. Cresselia became agitated as a result, as she insisted on staying behind him.
"Speed up! We're going to lose them at this rate!" Cresselia snapped. Nikko paused and turned back to them worriedly.
Darkrai had come to a complete stop as a result of the psychic-types outburst. He had turned around to face her. Cresselia seemed to be using all of her willpower to not shove Darkrai in order to get him to move.
"Why are you just standing there?" Cresselia huffed, the initial bite faded from her voice as she collected herself. If Nikko didn't know better, she would have thought she heard unease growing in Cresselia's voice. Nikko couldn't see Darkrai's face, but something told her that he was not going to be very happy if this behaviour continued unchecked.
"Hey Mawile, stop for a second!" Nikko called, and the small steel-type immediately stopped and peered back at them. Nikko didn't wait for a response, quickly approaching the scene that was becoming increasingly tense.
Darkrai was indeed glaring at Cresselia, like Nikko suspected. But the intensity of it was much less suffocating than Nikko had expected. He seemed merely mildly irritated, but his expression immediately broke when Nikko arrived.
"What's going on here?" She asked, putting on her best 'stern mother' voice. Cresselia seemed to recoil. Perhaps she had forgotten for a moment that she was supposed to be friendly towards him. The air became less dangerous, but it was equally tense.
Darkrai blinked openly down at Nikko. "Ah- I-" He stuttered. "I didn't mean to fall behind, I was just-"
"I don't like this." Cresselia said, and Nikko was shocked to see that she was pouting. "He isn't cut out for exploring yet. We should go back."
"B-but..!" Mawile suddenly chipped in, her small voice trying desperately to be heard from the wide berth she was giving them. Suddenly having three sets of eyes on her made her shrink in on herself even more. "I was doing really good..." She murmured. Nikko hummed, turning back to the two legendaries.
"We're switching positions. Darkrai, you're going to be in front of me, okay?" Darkrai blinked incredulously. "But then what's the little one going to do if she gets in trouble? You won't be as readily available."
Nikko shook her head. "I know what I'm doing. In front. Now." She said, pointing towards Mawile with her nose. Darkrai hesitantly compiled, and Mawile started off, much slower this time, her nerves shot up to eleven due to having a 'bad guy' following even more closely behind her.
Things went smoothly for a while, surprisingly. Darkrai no longer lingered, he kept up well. Nikko supposed he had either been broken out of his stupor, or he was worried about nonperforming in front of her.
Cresselia hovered up beside Nikko, tilting her head apologetically. "Are you sure it's okay to put him between you and your pupil? You can't trust him that much, right?"
Nikko sighed. "What else was I supposed to do? It was either this or you two getting into a fight. Mawile deserves better than to have her first full exploration as the leader be cut short by you two riling each other up."
Cresselia was inclined to protest. "Well what was I supposed to do?"
Nikko's tails writhed behind her in irritation. "Uhg... No, I guess I expected too much. I should've seen it coming. I should've just gotten someone else to do this for me." She peered up at Darkrai's back, watching as he continued to peer around the forest curiously. She shouldn't have brought him...
"No, Nikko, it's my fault," Cresselia said softly, "I didn't mean to snap, I just..."
"I know," Nikko said, promptly ending the conversation.
Cresselia was always a bad liar, but that included her ability to hide her emotions. She was an open book in every aspect and Nikko should've known that putting the two of them together would only end in complications. Maybe she had been hoping a little too much... maybe she had hoped that Cresselia would see what she saw.
Foolish. It was foolish to hope, and foolish to even consider that maybe Darkrai had some likeable traits.
...It was hard sometimes. Always forcing herself to remember everything he had done to her.
He had tried to kill her. He had almost convinced her that she needed to die.
...He had hugged her. He tried to run away when he realized that he gave her nightmares...
The disparity was too great. Why couldn't Cresselia see it?
Was Nikko the one that was blind?
"AH-!" Mawile yelped. Nikko was ripped from her contemplation, and she suddenly noticed that there was a Mr. Mime that had managed to hit the small steel-type with a brick break. A reviver seed immediately restored the damage. "Crap-!" Nikko hissed, trying to get closer and take out the Mr. Mime before it could do real damage.
But then Nikko realized that Mawile had fearfully retreated, running past Darkrai and hiding behind Nikko's hind legs. Nikko immediately knew what was going to happen if she didn't intervene. Darkrai was in front. "Darkrai-!"
An Ominous Wind billowed through the area, whipping violently at the Mr. Mime. Before Nikko could even move, the Mr. Mime had fainted, and the danger had passed.
"..." Nikko blinked up at Darkrai as he hovered before her, unmoving. He seemed just as shocked as she was.
"Did I just do that?" Darkrai asked before turning around to blink questioningly at her.
Nikko couldn't help but smile wryly. "You figured out your attack so easily that you didn't even notice." Of course he did.
Darkrai beamed, "I did?" He turned back to the fallen Mr. Mime and tilted his head. "Wow... I'm really strong." He seemed rather proud of himself. Self-satisfaction was radiating from him in waves.
"Nikko I do not like this!" Cresselia whispered harshly in the Ninetales' ear.
"It's fine, Cresselia. He was going to need to remember sometime." Nikko whispered back.
"No!" Cresselia snapped, speaking loud enough for Darkrai to jump in surprise and turn around. "What?"
"I saw that look in your eye! I won't allow you to hurt anyone ever again!" Cresselia announced, flying up to look Darkrai in the eye.
Darkrai reared back, "What!? I just protected the kid! Wasn't that the good thing to do?"
"You were not brought here to fight! You were out of line!"
"You're the one out of line! You're accusing me of doing something I didn't even do!"
"I'm worried about what you will do!" Cresselia screeched, and silence fell upon them. Nikko realized with a start that she had no idea who's side she was supposed to be on.
Darkrai was quiet, but his anger had not alleviated. He simply frowned in confusion.
Cresselia collected herself, and stood up as tall as she could. When she stood like that, she truly was beautiful, nobody could deny it. And stood across from her, Nikko had to admit that Darkrai held his own kind of beauty. A gothic type of beauty- but it was wonderous all the same. In a way, the two were made for each other.
"Now that you have remembered your strength," Cresselia murmured, "Now that you remember what it's like to hurt others... It is all you care about. I can see it."
Darkrai blinked, and a stark realization came over his face.
"You want to attack me. Want to see me fallen at your feet like that Mr. Mime is. And once I have fallen, nobody will ever be able to stop you- you and you're... sadistic needs."
The area fell silent again, but this time there was no anger in Darkrai's face. Actually, as Nikko looked deeper, it was harder than ever to read his thoughts. Was Cresselia... right?
Darkrai's eyes drifted away from Cresselia and landed on Nikko. She wasn't sure what to make of that, but she didn't dare move. In his eyes she saw nothing, and she hoped that he didn't see any of the fear that she felt. The two stared at each other for a long moment before Darkrai returned his gaze to Cresselia.
"No." He said, his voice hard and cold.
Cresselia reared back in confusion. "No? No what?"
Darkrai shook his head. "It doesn't matter what I want or how much I want it."
Cresselia scoffed, "so you don't deny it?"
"No," Darkrai said with a sigh, "but I don't want to be like that. More than any of those urges, I want to be good. For Nikko."
Cresselia blinked in shock. Nikko smiled. Maybe she was right about him after all, and Cresselia was the one who was blind.
Mawile piped up from her hiding spot behind Nikko's legs. "C-can we go home now?"
"Nikko?" Hana asked casually. The two were sitting in the sand at the beach. It was dusk, but tonight there were no bubbles wafting over the horizon. The Krabby must've been busy elsewhere.
Nikko hummed in acknowledgement, swishing all nine of her tails through the beach, burying them beneath the smooth sand carelessly. The sea breeze ruffled her fur and she sighed happily. This was the life.
"Do you ever feel like we're not doing enough?" Hana's voice was still casual, but the insecure words made Nikko raise an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean? We're discovering new stuff all the time!"
Hana shrugged, blinking her large dark eyes tiredly. She shifted closer to Nikko, leaning into her warm shoulder with a sigh. "I dunno. Maybe after all the world saving we did, it feels weird to not need to save it anymore. I just feel like we're stagnating. We can't get much better than we already are, y'know? We already saved the world, became the highest rank an exploration team can be, and we've explored so many places. Where do we go from here?"
Nikko considered her words. "I guess I know what you're talking about. We're still so young, but it feels like we've already done everything we ever dreamed of."
Hana nodded. "Yeah. So... what do we do? I don't want to stop exploring... but maybe we should shake things up a bit, somehow?"
Nikko rested her chin on the top of Hana's head. The Delcatty began softly purring at that. The setting sun illuminated the beach in an orange light, and the water shimmered brilliantly. The warmth of the sun and of Hana's body at her side made a wholeness fill Nikko's heart. She didn't need anything but this.
"I think I have an idea," Nikko said softly.
Hana hummed happily, "lemme hear it!"
"Maybe we could..."
We could...
We...
All of the calm, comfortable warmth that Nikko had accumulated suddenly dropped away, leaving her so cold and startled it was as if someone dunked ice cold water over her head.
The familiar old scene of her and Hana faded away, leaving her floating helplessly in an ever colour-changing void. It was all just a dream; a memory.
Nikko sighed, curling her tails around herself sadly. If only, oh if only she could just go back. She was getting more and more miserable by the day, more angry, more depressed, more empty inside. More pathetic.
"I can't keep doing this..." She murmured under her breath, not bothering to avoid the pain of it all. It was too much to run from.
"Hey, Nikko...?" A voice rung out around her, and suddenly Nikko found herself lying in a patch of grass. She peered up and found herself in a dark forest, the moonlight blocked by the leaves of the lush trees. The trees rustled merrily in the breeze.
The area wasn't completely dark though. It was slightly illuminated by a few small candles that dotted the area. Under the candlelight, Nikko could see him, hovering just a few feet away from her.
Darkrai.
Why had he interrupted the nice dream Cresselia's presence had given her?
"What are you doing here? You're supposed to be sleeping." Nikko said, and while she felt she should be chastising him, she couldn't help but feel curious.
Darkrai played with his hands distractedly. "I wanted to talk to you about something this morning, but... Cresselia made it difficult."
Nikko tilted her head, even more curious now. "Really? What is it?"
Darkrai hovered down to sit opposite her, and she followed suit. The dark-type sighed. "Last night, I didn't want you to have a nightmare- so I tried to give you a lucid dream and a calming place to stay until you woke up. But... you still had a nightmare anyway. And just now, when I interrupted your dream, you... well, the dream got a really painful aura to it."
Nikko blinked in surprise. He had tried to influence her dream last night?
Darkrai fidgeted under her silence. "I'm sorry! I guess I'm just bad at making good dreams..."
"No! No..." Nikko sighed, placing her paw gently over Darkrai's hand. "I think you misinterpreted what happened. My mind is always like that. You giving me a lucid dream just forced me to deal with my own thoughts, without any distractions."
Darkrai blinked at her in shock. "What!? You... you're always in so much pain?" His gaze flickered back and forth between both her eyes. The concern in his gazes was kind of endearing. Nikko chuckled softly.
"Not all the time. I know how to take my mind off it. Usually." Although, as of late she was having much more trouble distracting herself, with Darkrai here as a constant reminder. So much had changed. Yet nothing had changed at all.
Darkrai moved closer, worriedly grasping one of her paws in both his hands. "Why? Is it me?"
Nikko blinked, had he read her mind somehow? "No! Ah- ugh..." She shook her head, defeated. "It's- well... did you see my dream, before you took it away?"
He nodded cautiously, letting go of her paw. "You were on a beach with another pokemon." He made a face, and Nikko wasn't sure what to make of the expression. "You were cuddled up to them."
...was he...? No, that would be ridiculous.
"Yes. Her name was Hana."
At the word 'was,' Darkrai's eyes widened and he eyed her awkwardly. "Oh..."
"Do you remember how I said that when I lost my memory, someone was there to help me?"
Darkrai nodded. "So that was... Hana?"
Nikko took a deep breath. It was odd, hearing him say that name again. She remembered the last time he had said it- all those years ago.
So different...
"Yes. She was my partner. I loved her with everything I had."
Darkrai looked away, and Nikko wondered if she was imagining the dejection on his face. "And now she's gone."
"She's been dead for centuries. It's been so long, but the pain... It's still so intense." Talking about it was surprisingly easy. She would have thought that she would cry, as she usually did when she recalled her beloved partner. But she felt so detached right now...
Was she finally broken?
"Nikko?" Darkrai asked, his voice soft and uneasy. Nikko tilted her head in response, frowning curiously at him. The dark-type looked away again. "Can I... hug you?"
"What?" Nikko furrowed her brows in confusion.
Darkrai became agitated. "Last time, you said I should ask you first."
Nikko laughed, remembering what he was referring to. "Oh. Well..."
She shouldn't. He wasn't trustworthy.
How could she tell him about her pain if she didn't trust him? Was there something wrong with her? Did she just not care anymore?
"...sure."
It was awkward. She watched curiously as he nervously sat himself beside her and wrapped his arms around her neck. His body was large and bulky, making it hard to find the hug at all comfortable. But she found herself wrapping her tails around him anyway, returning the embrace. At least it was warm. Feeling the warm embrace of another was something she didn't get very often anymore. Maybe this was okay.
He sighed shakily, and Nikko almost laughed at the realization that he was trembling anxiously. Was he really that concerned? Did he really think that much of her?
Of course he did. She was his Hana.
Nikko's eyes shot open, and her body went stiff. Darkrai noticed. "Are you okay..?"
Something about that thought made everything feel so different. His attempt at comforting her suddenly felt like a stab in the heart. His arms around her had felt warm, but now every place he touched her felt like ice.
She was his Hana. She was his Hana... She was...
What had she gotten herself into...?
"Darkrai..?" Nikko said, but her voice cracked and suddenly she was afraid she'd burst into tears if she spoke any more.
"Should I let go? You're not letting me go. Are you uncomfortable?" He asked nervously.
He was right, her tails were still coiling around him, in fact now they were stiff, gripping onto him like he was a lifeline. She tried to force them to move, but she was frozen.
"How do you- how do you feel about me?" She asked shakily.
Darkrai blinked, and when she turned to look him in the eye she noticed that he was blushing. "W-what?" He stuttered.
No no no no no-
"If I died... and you never got to say goodbye. Would you care?" she could barely speak above a whisper.
Darkrai flinched and gripped her tighter. His touch was stifling. "Of course I would! Nikko, you're the only thing I care about."
This was so unfair.
"Answer the question, Darkrai. How do you feel about me?" Her voice was weak and fearful, but she needed to know.
The fear in her voice made him clearly uneasy, and he wanted to pull away. But her tails held him still. "Ah- well I..."
For a long moment he stared at her, and she stared back. She could see gears turning in his head as he considered her question. "Wait... is that what happened with Hana?"
Nikko nodded hesitantly. "I was... out on a rescue mission for one of our teammates. It was urgent, I was the only one who could rescue them..." She sighed, trying to swallow the lump in her throat. "When I got back she had been gone for a few days already."
Darkrai seemed conflicted. He stared at her, a thoughtful frown on his face. "Nikko, I-"
"Psst! Wake up!"
Nikko jerked awake with a gasp. She blinked up through the darkness of her bedroom to find Cresselia hovering over her. It took a few moments for her to realize that she had been crying in her sleep. She wiped her eyes before rising from her bed and eyeing Cresselia with irritated confusion.
"What are you doing in here?" She hissed, trying to keep from waking Manaphy.
"Darkrai was in your dreams! And I couldn't interfere!" Cresselia was barely managing to keep her voice down. She seemed hysterical, her eyes wild and fearful. "What was he doing to you?!"
Nikko frowned. "It's nothing you need to worry about. We'll talk about this in the morning."
Cresselia vehemently disagreed, "No! I told you yesterday that I wanted to wait before making my decision about what we do about him. But I think I've decided now. He's dangerous. We need to execute him."
Nikko bit her lip but tried to conceal her agitation. She knew- she knew where Cresselia was coming from. But the memories of what Darkrai had done had started to feel disconnected from the Darkrai she now knew-
So different-
She could see where Cresselia was coming from, but why couldn't the legendary see how he was under control now? He was inherently dangerous, yes, and he had lingering urges-
Not different at all-
But he... he...
He liked her more than anybody had liked her in centuries.
And because of that- because she had been in that position herself, and knew what it was like-
She was his Hana-
"No." Nikko's voice was hard and her stance was confident. She stood tall and the look in her eye alone was enough to intimidate.
"What do you mean 'no?'" Cresselia hissed, confusion making her mind spin. "He- did you forget what he did to you!?"
Nikko gave no response.
"He destroyed your world! He's the reason you lost your memory! He's the reason you needed to suffer and die in order to change the future! He tried to- he tried to kill you multiple times! And now he's back, and just as dangerous as ever, and you- you trust that he's not going to stab you in the back like he always does?"
"...He's not like that anymore."
"I knew him, Nikko! Better than anyone! You don't know the hell my life was because of him, you don't know how many times he killed and I had to pick up the pieces! Did you ever consider the atrocities he committed to other Pokemon? That maybe you weren't the only one whose life he ruined? Do you really think that kind of evil can just conveniently go away simply because he wants it to? Because you want it to?"
Nikko flinched.
Her small response seemed to evoke sympathy from the psychic-type. The room was silent for a long moment as Cresselia tried to calm herself down. Cresselia sighed. "I'm... I'm sorry, Nikko. I don't want to come off like the bad guy here. I know you don't want to care about him, but I could tell from the moment I got here that you couldn't stop yourself." She shook her head and hovered lower in order to appear smaller.
"But your compassion is bordering on naive. You see too much of yourself in his situation. Trust me- He. Isn't. You. He's not like you. Even if he tries his best to be the person you want him to be, he's still malicious deep down." Cresselia paused, searching for some kind of response from her. But Nikko gave no indication that she was even listening. "His need to be manipulative, or violent or just destructive, it'll only build beneath the surface until he can't keep it in anymore. He's going to explode, and you don't want to be around for when that happens."
Cresselia took a deep breath. "I just want to protect you, Nikko. You're a good friend, you know that. I don't want him to make you suffer needlessly."
The light that streamed in through the window from the cool moonlight flickered. For a moment, the room was drenched in darkness, and when the light returned, Nikko narrowed her eyes.
"We were talking." Nikko said sternly. "Before you woke me up. He had entered my dreams to have a private conversation with me."
Cresselia blinked at her. She opened her mouth to speak but Nikko spoke over her. "He was worried about me." Nikko shook her head. "He was not giving me a nightmare. You're wrong. He may have powers that make him dangerous, but he is not a dangerous person. I wholeheartedly believe that he is redeemable- people can change, and this is his chance to. He's been trying his best so far and I don't think you're giving him enough credit-"
"Nikko?" Cresselia cut in cautiously. She seemed almost frightened.
"What?"
"...I think he heard us."
Nikko's eyes flicked left and right as if she'd be able to find him. "W-what? How can you tell..?"
Cresselia bit her lip and started to breathe heavily. She was starting to panic again. "H-he can slip into shadows undetected! I thought- I thought he forgot how to do that! The darkness- that wink of darkness that just went over us- that was him! He- where is he!?"
Her sudden panicked scream made Manaphy jump awake with a gasp. "W-what?"
Nikko was too shellshocked to react, and when Cresselia frantically rushed out of the room in search of him, the Ninetales barely even noticed.
How much had he heard? How much did he know? Did he know what he had done to her? Did he know that they were arguing over whether they should kill him or not?
...Did he feel betrayed?
"...Nikko? Nikko! M-... Mom!"
Nikko jumped in surprise. She turned, blinking owlishly at her child. "M-Manaphy?"
Manaphy frowned worriedly and placed a consoling hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay, Nikko? What happened? Did something happen?"
Nikko took a deep, shaky breath, trying to pull herself from the cage of her own mind. "Cresselia wanted to execute Darkrai, and I thought he was salvageable. W-we argued for a while but then- then Cresselia realized that Darkrai had been... listening in. He heard us... and we had mentioned his past..."
Manaphy gasped softly, more concerned than surprised. "That- that's... not good. You need to go find him. Where is he?"
"I don't... I don't know..."
Manaphy sighed, crossing their arms in thought. "Maybe we should alert the guild. If this gets too serious, we'll need all the help we can get to contain him."
Nikko stumbled to her feet and took a deep breath, steadying herself. "No, it's not that serious yet- at least, we can't be sure. You stay here- I'll go look for him. If this gets serious, you need to be the one to get everyone up, okay?"
Manaphy nodded seriously. "Okay. Now go, before anything serious actually gets the chance to happen!"
Nikko nodded before rushing out of the door. She couldn't find Cresselia anywhere within the guild. Darkrai's room, the kitchen, the assembly hall and the various bulletin board rooms. When Nikko stormed out of the front doors of the guild, she almost slammed right into Cresselia, who had been pacing back and forth just outside.
The moonlight shone down on them, the only light this late at night. All fires had been put out, with only a few nocturnal Pokemon quietly making their way down the streets, considerate of those that were sleeping nearby. The calm atmosphere felt unfitting for the unease that flooded Nikko's mind, and the panic on Cresselia's face.
Cresselia turned to Nikko with a gasp at her sudden arrival. "Nikko! We need to find him! Uhg, I should've known that he'd remember how to slip into shadows, I'm such an idiot!" She shook her head. "You see now, don't you? He's too dangerous! He's too powerful! We need to find him and snuff him out while he's still not 100% in control of his powers!"
Nikko bit her lip nervously, "Cresselia... Darkrai will undoubtedly leave a trail of nightmares behind him. I'll follow the trail, but I want you to stay back and take care of the sleeping Pokemon."
Cresselia raised an eyebrow, her eyes wide and disbelieving. "What- and leave you to fight him yourself?"
Nikko shook her head. "I will not fight him. But yes, I do want you to leave him to me. I will pacify him and bring him back to the guild, where he shall not be punished or killed."
Cresselia gaped at her, "You can't be serious! Why are you letting him manipulate you like this? You're smarter than this!"
Nikko bared her teeth warningly. This was too urgent a moment for them to argue, but if this was what it would take to get her way, Nikko supposed there was no other option. "He's not manipulating me. This- this compassion that I have for him- it has more to do with what he symbolizes for me, than who he actually is."
Cresselia's hackles lowered in curiosity, confusion filling her gaze. "That... I don't understand."
Nikko sighed. "I thought I was infallible; all these years, after everything I've been through, I thought I was too wise and too experienced to ever be affected by anything anymore. But I was wrong- I was slowly falling apart all these years- whether I didn't know or simply didn't want to accept it, I can't be sure- but I think Darkrai wasn't just the straw that broke my back."
"What do you mean?"
Nikko turned away and thought for a moment. Gathering the right thoughts was never easy when the subject always made her mind spin. "Do you know the last time I had a dimensional scream vision?"
Cresselia stared at her blankly for a moment. "...My god, I forgot you even had that ability."
Nikko nodded. "That's because I haven't had a vision since Hana's passing."
"Wha- seriously? You haven't loved or trusted anyone enough since then?"
"Nobody could ever measure up to what she meant to me. She was the one who found me when I first woke up. Lost and alone in an unfamiliar world, she was the only one I could latch onto. She was there when we were kidnapped and brought into the future. She was the only one there when I disappeared. She's the reason I'm alive right now. She was there when Manaphy hatched, and she was my only companion when Darkrai disguised himself as you to try and convince us to kill ourselves."
Cresselia flinched at the last one, but still shook her head. "But, surely you've been through countless struggles since then. You must've bonded with someone else at some point, right?"
"Yes, but none measured up to the bond we had. Since Hana died, I've felt like I'm overdue; like I should've died alongside her. I wasn't made to live this long." A tightness began to grow in Nikko's throat, but no matter how she tried, she couldn't swallow it away. "I feel like I'm already half-dead, like there's no future left for me. My life has already been lived. I've already experienced all I needed to see."
Cresselia frowned in concern. "Nikko... I-"
"But now I think I know why Darkrai's presence affected me so much. He was there. He was the reason I was born at all: the reason me and Grovyle grew up in a dark and broken future. He was the reason I became a Pokemon, the reason I lost my memory. He is the reason I disappeared in order to save the world."
Nikko's voice hitched and she paused for a moment to will herself to calm down. "Everything that I am... everything that I was, it was because of him. Even if his involvement was all from the shadows, and I knew nothing about him, he was there. He's a reminder of my past, a relic. And I... I think I need that."
"What?" Cresselia reared back in shock. "I thought you would've wanted to get rid of him!"
"At first I thought so too! He did such horrible things, so I thought I was supposed to hate him. But I've felt so detached from the world for so long, so stuck in the past; and he just shows up. He was one of the many people from my past that I had said goodbye to, that I had tried to leave behind. But now he's here, and he makes everything that happened feel like it all happened yesterday- and he- he-" Nikko choked. She was getting too worked up but now it was too much for her to hold back.
"I see more of myself in him than I thought. Of course the time travel memory loss is something I can relate to, but he- he likes me! I'm his Hana! He's lost and confused and afraid, just like I was- and still am! I'm lost, and I'm scared, and I don't have Hana anymore!" She could barely see through the fogginess of her tears, so she shut her eyes and turned away.
"And then someone I used to know- someone who had such a huge impact on my life- suddenly shows up again. And he loves me like I loved Hana! I can't betray him! I can't let go of him! I need him! I need that love again, I need that memory of what I thought was long gone I finally feel like I have a future, something to live for... I need him, and I think he needs me too..!"
Cresselia was silent for a long time, her head sheepishly turned to the side as she stared into nothingness. The gentle night breeze felt off underneath the sounds of Nikko's stifled cries.
Cresselia took a deep breath. She met Nikko's gaze cautiously and spoke very slow, choosing her words carefully. "I'm sorry for assuming this all came down to naivety. It was unfair to treat you like someone so much younger than you are." she turned to look Nikko in the eye. "This is not naivety at all. It's much deeper than that... I'm sorry."
Cresselia hesitated, biting her lip as if internally debating the merits of her words. "But... Nikko. You know you've always had me. I was there when Darkrai was defeated. I knew Hana. If you ever needed someone to be there, someone from the past, you know I would have been there for you." She paused again. "And Manaphy... they're your child, and Hana's child too. They loved Hana just like you did. The both of us- we've always been here. And if- if Darkrai doesn't work out... you know we'll be here for you, right?"
Nikko let out a wet laugh. "I-... yeah. Thank you, Cresselia." She reached up and nuzzled the psychic-types cheek with her own.
Cresselia returned the gesture. "I understand now that it was his return that affected you so badly. I know Manaphy and I have always been around, so of course we weren't going to make you break down like this. But we'll always be here. Even if we don't measure up to Hana... we'll always love you, and we'll never go away."
"Yes- yes of course..." Nikko pulled away and smiled tearfully up at her old friend. "So... I can go and find him? Alone?"
Cresselia smiled tenderly, "I trust you, Nikko. You're a good leader, and I don't want you to suffer. Never again. I just hope he truly does love you as much as you say. If not, I'm going to need to beat him up for leading you on, hehehe!"
The two laughed gently for a moment, Nikko's heart feeling a little lighter now. There was still a knot of anxiety left there, and she suspected the blanket of grief would never lift from the back of her mind, but she felt lighter. It was more than anything she had hoped for herself. Darkrai had truly brought her back into the present.
She had a job to do, but now she felt like she could do it. And whether or not her future would continue to lighten the load on her heart, for the first time in ages she felt like she actually did have a future. She had so much left ahead of her, she wasn't a dying, elderly human- she was a Ninetales. Maybe now she could finally learn to live like one.
But first things first. She needed Darkrai back, and she needed him to know the truth. The whole truth.
Nikko wiped her eyes with one of her tails and turned, ready to set off. "I can trust you to heal the sleeping pokemon?"
Cresselia nodded. "Of course."
With that, Nikko set off in a run. She could only hope he hadn't gotten too far.