Author's Note:
Thank you for all the support, and the new followers. I decided to put in Highways and Hunting Grounds into the story, because I think it is important to know where Carlie is coming from. She feels responsible for everything. I know that this is a short chapter, but it gives a great back story to Carlie, and that she only seems to come to town when there is a funeral. She never willingly comes to town. Thank you again for reading my story.
Chapter 3: Highways and Hunting Grounds
As I was driving my Volvo down the highway I kept asking myself, "What lunacy did I sign up for anyways? " Was I crazy to put myself through this torture again? Last time I went to Forks was four years ago for Billy's funeral. I couldn't bring myself to stay long. I only stayed two nights. The emotional damage was done however. I couldn't stay any longer. I didn't even bother going to the house, the cottage, or the meadow. I stayed with Charlie. I hoped that the demons would all go away. The guilt of that place would be washed away from me. I wasn't responsible for Billy's death. He died of old age. I still felt responsible. It was all my fault. Billy wasn't the same after I broke the news to him, when I told him of Jake's death. I could hear the anguish in his voice, the disappointment. He never seemed to blame me for Jake's death. I supposed he figured I blamed myself enough for the two of us.
I went back to Forks the first time since my family's death, eight years after it happened. It was for the funeral that the pack wanted to give Jake. I felt I had to go. As Jake's life mate, his bonded, I had to be there. Even with all of that, it didn't make it any easier. Or should I say Leah, didn't make it any easier. She blamed me, almost as much as I blamed myself. Seth didn't blame me and was overly cautious not to set me off. I think their mother had something to do with Leah's change of tone. Needless, to say, she left me alone after the first day. I went to the funeral, excepted the condolences from the pack, cried myself to sleep for the three days I was there. And I left. I packed up in the middle of the night, and got lost in endless sea of continents. I kept hoping I would find a place that would remind me of home, that would take my mind off of the sorrow. I lost everything I loved, my family and Jake. Everything had been taken from me. The only thing left the Volturi hadn't taken was my life. I tempted fate on more than one occasion. I continued to go to Italy, hoping they would find me, catch me, end me. I kept thinking of the ways to force their hand, but I couldn't kill innocent people. I wasn't raised like that. I didn't want to be Aro's pet. I wanted everything he took from me. I wanted him finally dead, and gone. I wanted my family, I wanted Jake.
My tears were falling so fast, I had to pull over to the side of the road before I wrecked. I sat there for at least ten minutes and cried my eyes out. It wasn't until I had calmed myself down, that I looked up and noticed the sign, "Welcome to Forks." I guess I was so distracted with ghosts from the past that I didn't realize that I had gotten to Forks already.
There I sat with a heavy burden on my heart. Should I just turn around and leave? Should I call Charlie later and tell him that I couldn't do it, and hope that he understands? Should I keep driving? Should I stay?
I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think straight. I figured it would be best if I made all my decisions on a full stomach. I pulled the car off the side of the road, and headed down the first side road available. I kept driving until the woods got dense. I parked the car, and opened the door. I stood there in the woods of Forks for the first time in twenty years. I took a deep breathe, and was reminded of home. I was home. This one time didn't include death or destruction. I was here for the first time, because I wanted to be. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail, to get it out of my face.
I started to walk into the woods, sensing the life forms around me, a deer, a rabbit, and a mountain lion. A lion, that's what I needed. If I could bag one of those, I'm sure I'd have my head on straight. I remembered that this area was part of the treaty. I made sure that I ran on my family's side of the treaty line. I didn't know if the pack still considered me a friend, and would be willing to give me free reign on the hunting grounds.
I ran off in the direction of the lion, breathing in the animal's sweet smell. Running, chasing, pounding, I leapt up and put my arms around the fierce beast running towards me. I sank my teeth into him and drank deeply. I drank him until he was dead, until the light left his eyes. I sat down on the moist mossy ground, and took a deep breathe. I hadn't hunted like that in a long time. I looked at the mountain lion, and decided to leave him for the other animals to ravage. I didn't have time to bury a body that big.
Slowly rising, I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, to make sure that I didn't have any blood on my face. For a fighting lion, he was a clean kill. I didn't have any blood on my clothes and my face was clean. I pulled my hair out of the ponytail and walked back to the car. When I made it to the car, I had finally made my decision. I would go to Charlie's, I would stay in Forks, and I would go to school. I didn't know if I would be able to go to my grandparent's home, the cottage, or the meadow, but I would at least try to have a semblance of a normal life.
I climbed into the car, and headed to Charlie's. I was conceding defeat. Forks had won this battle, at least for now.