This is the final chapter for this fic and, once again, I'd just like to send a huge thanks the anon who sent me the original prompt. This was a really interesting story to write. Sorry it took so long to update, I've been in job training the last three weeks and it really ate up my time. :/
Mr. Awesomepants: Your review was very amusing. I hope you can sleep soundly now that it's finally over. ;)
To all my reviewers: *virtually hugs each one of you*
Just A Game (Part 3 of 3)
"What just happened?" Hanna wasted no time in drilling Spencer for answers, trailing hot on the brunette's heels as the they cleared the basement door and stepped back into the kitchen.
Spencer ignored her friend's inquisition as her eyes wandered over the crowd for any signs of Paige or Emily. There was so much noise and so many people clamored into the cabin that it was impossible to spot the two girls. She had no clue what she was going to say once she found them, or whether Emily would even listen to her. All she knew was that she had to explain this somehow. She had to make this right again.
"Spence?" Hanna's hand rested on her shoulder, drawing her attention back into curious blue eyes.
"I don't know what happened, okay?" She threw her hands in the air with a huff, feeling far more annoyed with herself than she was with Hanna. "I didn't think it would to get so-"
"Voyeuristic? Risqué? Scandalous?" Hanna interrupted.
On any other day Spencer would have commended Hanna's extensive vocabulary of synonymous words, but tonight she was simply frustrated with the interruption.
"I was going to say intense. Geez Hanna!" She picked up a glass off the counter and filled it a quarter of the way full with whatever booze was nearest before downing it all in one gulp. The burn in the back of her throat was a welcome distraction to the tornado of thoughts in her head and the phantom feeling of Paige's lips on her skin.
"Well whatever it was you better figure out how to fix it, because I'm pretty sure Hallmark doesn't have a section for 'sorry I frenched your girlfriend'?" Hanna admonished sarcastically, pulling the glass from Spencer's hand and placing it out of reach when she went in for a refill. "And getting drunk isn't going to help Spence."
"It's a good start." Spencer mumbled. She placed her palms flat on the countertop, bowing her head and inhaling deeply to clear her mind.
Why didn't she just stay upstairs with Toby? Why did she have to play that stupid game? The moment she watched Paige approach that circle she knew she should've bolted out of that basement as fast as her legs would allow, but she didn't. She should've known Emily wasn't comfortable with Paige playing that game, Emily was arguably the most jealous out of all four of them. She carelessly allowed her curiosity to overwhelm her sense of judgment and now, for the first time in her life, she didn't know what to do next. She had no escape route, and no contingency plan for how to repair the trust she'd endangered.
"Hey, I've been looking for you guys! Where'd you go?" Without turning around Spencer recognized the sound of Aria's voice approaching from the living room, followed by the dense thud of Jake's boots walking closely behind her. "What's up with Spencer?" The question was directed to Hanna, but the concern in Aria's tone compelled Spencer to turn around and answer her friend.
Unfortunately for Spencer, Hanna beat her to it.
"Spencer and Paige made out downstairs and now Emily's mad at both of them." Hanna's response was so casual you would think she were reciting the assembly instructions for a bedroom furniture set. She noticed Jake's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline and Caleb simply stood a safe distance away, quietly keeping out of the whole situation.
Spencer dropped her head to her hand, groaning loudly. She loved her friend dearly but Hanna was the absolute worst when it came to keeping her mouth shut.
"Did you have to phrase it that way? You're making it sound like we were groping in the laundry closet." Spencer scowled, flinging an empty cup at Hanna which caused the girl to swat at the air erratically as if her friend had thrown a lit stick of dynamite.
"So you did make out with Paige?" Aria asked, gaping at Spencer.
Spencer shook her head, deciding to clear up any misconceptions before Aria heard it from someone else. "We were playing Spin the Bottle. It got a little heated, but that's all."
"Oh…well, that doesn't sound so bad." At Spencer's explanation Aria calmed, waving her hand in the air to dismiss the severity of the circumstance.
"Easy for you to say." Hanna began. "You didn't see that kiss." She sent a pointed look to Spencer who sighed heavily before irritably refilling her glass.
She didn't think it was possible but somehow this night seemed to be getting even longer.
"Em, wait up!" Paige was out of breath by the time she finally caught up to Emily outside. She'd had to force her way through an entire house of sweaty party-goers and wound up spilling at least three people's drinks on her shirt in her haste to stop the girl. She was wet, winded and smelled of cheap beer but Emily being upset with her was infinitely more important than any of those things.
When Emily refused to acknowledge her or stop walking Paige grabbed her wrist, spinning her so that they were face-to-face. Even standing on the dimly lit lawn of the cabin Paige could still see the tears brimming in Emily's eyes and she knew the girl was struggling to keep them from falling. Her heart sank at the sight and she instinctively reached to console her girlfriend but her hand was roughly shoved away.
"Em, tell me what's wrong." Paige implored desperately, sounding just a forlorn as Emily looked.
"What's wrong?" She echoed, frowning so deeply Paige was sure it would leave a permanent wrinkle between her eyes. "You kissed Spencer!" She knew she was stating the absolute obvious but she was far too emotional to think rationally and all her words were just rushing out without filter. "You kissed Spencer and she kissed you back."
Paige's lips quirked up almost imperceptibly at the bluntness of Emily's statement. "Yes, I did kiss Spencer. I think we've established that much." Her tone was light, trying to ease Emily's distress with mild humor but it had the opposite effect.
"Are you seriously making a joke right now? I just watched you tongue wrestle my best-friend for over a minute, and you're joking about it?" She stared at Paige incredulously, her voice rising even more to meet her temper. Paige looked over her shoulder, noticing their arguing had attracted a small audience on the front porch, and some people were beginning to whisper among themselves. Privacy was a foreign concept in Rosewood and Paige was sure they would be the center of the gossip mill for a long while after this party. Dating Emily Fields had already brought along its fair share of gossip -considering Emily and her friends were magnets for public scandal- so Paige wasn't intimidated by the attention.
"Can we help you?" Paige asked irritably, keeping a hard stare on the onlookers until several of the them retreated into the house while the others turned away, pretending they weren't still eavesdropping.
"You're right, it's not funny." Paige said, turning back to Emily and making sure that her tone was serious, knowing Emily wouldn't appreciate humor it in her current mood. "I just don't know what to say Em. You pushed me into that circle and told me you were okay with it. I believed you." She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jeans trying to keep from shivering as the night air chilled the damp t-shirt that was clinging to her skin.
"I lied." Emily responded as if she'd expected Paige to pick up on that a long time ago. She ran her hand through her hair in exasperation before finally settling on folding her arms to keep from fidgeting.
"Why?" Paige asked, bending her knees to catch Emily's eyes when they suddenly dropped to stare at the ground.
"Because…I was scared you'd enjoy it, and clearly I was right." Emily threw back accusingly. A part of her realized that she was being unreasonable and that it really wasn't Paige's (or Spencer's) fault that she was jealous. She'd agreed to play that game on her own, and she was the one who lied about being comfortable with it when she wasn't. The truth was, even though it was just a game, it hurt to see Paige share that side of herself with someone who wasn't her, and it didn't help that that "someone" was her best-friend who'd already admitted to having feelings -regardless of how slight they were- for her girlfriend.
"I didn't enjoy it." Paige argued weakly, knowing even before the words left her lips that it wasn't true and that anyone watching that kiss could tell.
Emily scoffed, turning her eyes skyward in frustration. "Could've fooled me." She turned to leave, wanting to put as much distance between her and the cabin as possible, but unfortunately for her Paige was much quicker and equally as persistent. She refused to let Emily leave without clearing the air between them.
"Okay, maybe I did enjoy it…" Paige admitted, blocking Emily's path each time she attempted to move around her. Once the words hit her Emily paused her escape long enough to hear Paige out. "…and maybe I got a little carried away, because honestly Spencer is a really good kisser, but that doesn't mean anything." She shrugged as if what she was saying was common knowledge and of no importance, but the deflated expression on Emily's face made it clear it was definitely important to her.
"I can't believe you just said that." Her voice was so small that if Paige wasn't standing a foot away Emily's words would have been swallowed up in the music still blaring from inside the cabin.
"I didn't say it to hurt you." She reassured. "I told you because we said we'd be honest with each other and I don't want to lie." She took a single step closer, trying to get Emily to look at her, but Emily countered it with half a step backwards. "Em, look at me." She needed her eyes on her. She needed Emily to see that she was sincere in what she was saying, and that she would never intentionally do anything to upset her. When Emily finally conceded, allowing her eyes to meet Paige's warm gaze, a small smile graced Paige's lips.
"Em, It doesn't matter how 'good' the kiss was because it means nothing unless you're the one I'm kissing. I'm in love with you, not Spencer. Just you. I would never have kissed Spencer if we weren't playing that game, or if I'd known you weren't comfortable with it." Paige waited a few moments, letting her words sink in before taking a cautious step forward. She could literally see the tension in Emily's body loosen, and she exhaled a breath of relief when Emily didn't move away again.
"Please, don't be upset with me." Paige whispered softly, resting her hand on Emily's cheek and brushing her thumb over the smooth skin beneath it.
"I'm not upset." Emily muttered, wiping at her eyes to swipe away the frustrated tears that snuck out between every blink.
"Liar." Paige muttered teasingly. She used the pad of her thumb to tenderly wipe at another stray tear before Emily gently pushed her hand away.
"No, don't do that." Emily whispered sadly.
"Do what?" For a second Paige thought that they were moving forward, but now she wasn't so sure.
"Don't be so forgiving." Emily complained, shaking her head as the guilt of how badly she'd reacted finally caught up to her, making her feel even worse than she had earlier. "You didn't do anything wrong. I shouldn't have blamed you." She hugged herself tightly, grateful that it was dark enough out that Paige couldn't see how flushed her cheeks had become from embarrassment.
Paige shrugged, brushing off the pressure Emily was placing on herself. "You got jealous. It happens." It wasn't in Paige's nature to rub salt in the wound, but for once Emily wished Paige was the one who got angry. Because being angry at Paige was like plucking the wings off a butterfly and it made Emily feel terrible.
"It doesn't happen to you." Emily pointed out. "You never get jealous."
"You want me to?" Paige asked in mock seriousness. "Because now that you mention it you might want to ease up on those sleepovers at Hanna's. No one needs that many movie nights." The joke inspired the first real smile she'd seen on Emily's face since she followed her outside, and Paige felt a small swell of pride for being able to brighten her girlfriend's mood.
"I'm serious Paige." Emily said, finally managing to subdue her smile long enough to coax a real answer from the girl. "Why don't you get jealous?"
Paige looked at her like the answer was obvious, because to her it was. "I trust you." She said it so matter-of-fact that Emily wondered how she didn't see that answer coming.
The three words hung in the air between them like a pendulum swinging back and forth, and suddenly Paige's expression dropped as she slowly registered the implication her own words carried. The implication that the reason Emily got so jealous was because she didn't trust her. Noticing the distress that flicked in Paige's eyes, Emily immediately worked to assure her, not wanting Paige to believe -even for a second- that she didn't have complete and utter conviction in her.
"I trust you too, you know I do." Her hand reached to grasp Paige's in hers, holding it tightly in a show of silent support.
"Then what? You don't trust Spencer?" Paige asked, half-joking and half-serious. She knew that Emily trusted her friends with her life and had no reason to doubt them, which is why she couldn't understand her reaction to what happened in the basement.
"Of course I do." The slight hesitation in her tone told Paige that whatever Emily was holding back definitely had something to do with Spencer.
"Did something happen between you and Spencer?" Emily's eyes darted away from her and she immediately knew the answer.
"It's complicated." Emily responded flatly. Intent on avoiding the direction the conversation was taking as she started to move towards one of the benches situated beside the cabin.
"I'm pretty good with complicated." Paige countered, following Emily and sitting closely beside her on the bench.
"Spencer…I…well…she kinda…"
"Em." Paige interrupted her stumbling as she rubbed circles on her back trying to get her to relax. "Just tell me."
"Spencer-has-a-crush-on-you." Emily rushed the words out so quickly she was barely audible even to herself, and she doubted if Paige even understood what she'd said.
"What?"
"She has a-"
"No, I heard what you said. It's just…ridiculous." Paige shook her head vehemently, unable to believe what Emily was telling her. Spencer Hastings and the word 'crush' didn't even belong in the same sentence, unless that sentence was "Spencer Hastings crushed 3 people with a single look."
"What's ridiculous about it?" Emily asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Well, for starters she hardly ever talks to me, it took her months to stop calling me by my last name, and she still looks at me suspiciously anytime I hold a sharp object." Paige enumerated with a resigned shrug.
"After what just happened 15mins ago I think we can both agree that she likes you at least a little bit." Emily countered.
Paige couldn't argue with that reasoning, but the idea that Spencer saw her as anything more than Emily's girlfriend was hard to wrap her head around.
"When did you find out about this?" Paige asked, unable to mask the suspicion in her tone as an idea suddenly sprung to mind.
"3 weeks ago." Emily responded casually, missing the stunned expression on Paige's face completely.
"So, you knew about this three weeks ago and you still let me kiss her?" Emily froze, realizing she'd unwittingly walked right into trap. Paige was right, she should've told her a long time ago but she hadn't believed what Spencer confessed would go any further than that night in Aria's living room.
"I didn't think it meant anything." Emily replied guiltily, staring at her fingertips and twisting them in her lap.
"I'm sure it meant something to Spencer." Paige argued pointedly, feeling terrible that she'd inadvertently preyed on whatever feelings Spencer may have had towards her. It didn't bother her in the least that Spencer had a crush on her -if anything she was flattered, especially considering how reluctant Spencer was at accepting new people into her life- what did bother her was that she'd kissed Spencer and then thoughtlessly left her in that basement to face all the backlash alone.
"The only reason she even played that game was because I pressured her into it. Now she probably thinks you're pissed at her, or that it's her fault we were arguing. You have to fix this Em." Paige practically begged, hoping Emily could mend the situation better than she could given that she knew Spencer better.
"I don't know how to 'fix this' Paige." Emily complained, raking her hand through her hair.
"Talk to Spencer." Paige suggested firmly. "People can't help what they feel, you and I know that better than anyone. Whatever Spencer feels doesn't change the fact that I love you or that she loves Toby…sometimes a crush is just a crush. I'm sure she really needs you as a friend right now."
It always amazed Emily how easily Paige could resolve a situation with just a few simple words. It was one of the reasons they fit together so well, because Paige always knew how to reel Emily in when she was flailing to keep her head above water. She was the voice of reason when Emily let her emotions spiral out of control.
"You're really good at this you know." Emily said, smiling fondly at Paige and wondering how she managed to get so lucky to have a girlfriend so understanding.
"Good at what?" Paige asked, oblivious to her own charm as usual.
Emily didn't know how to explain all the ways Paige made her feel special, or how sometimes all it took was the sound of her voice to comfort her. She didn't know how to tell her that she was more afraid of losing Paige than Paige was of losing her, or that she worried that one day all her drama and constant jealousy would drive Paige away. She didn't know how to explain those things and frankly she didn't want to. Instead she settled on saying nothing at all, simply kissing Paige deeply and letting her actions speak all the words her tongue couldn't manage.
Paige eagerly returned the kiss, trying in vain to keep her excited smile subdued as Emily brought her hand behind her neck pulling her forward. She allowed her hands to travel up and down Emily's bare arms, enjoying the warmth and smoothness of her skin beneath her own cool palms.
When the need for air finally became too desperate they pulled away, touching their foreheads together and inhaling each exhale the other released.
"What was that for?" Paige questioned, still slightly breathless.
"Just for being you." Emily responded affectionately, allowing her hand to fall to Paige's waist. Her eyebrows scrunched a second later when her hand came into contact with something cold and wet. "You smell like you went swimming in Bud Lite." Emily smiled, struggling to suppress her grin as she continued to trail her fingers across the damp t-shirt sticking to Paige's abdomen.
"I've heard body heat does wonders for the drying process." Paige replied cheekily as she pulled Emily's body flush with hers and reclaimed her lips for a searing kiss.
"What's the matter? You haven't said two words since we left the party." Toby killed the engine as he pulled into Spencer's driveway, turning in his seat to face Spencer who was staring mutely out the passenger window. He'd been finishing up his game on the back porch when Spencer barged outside morosely, asking to leave. He could tell something was wrong just by looking at her, but every time he'd tried to get her to open up she'd adamantly insisted that everything was "fine."
"It's been a long night. I'm just tired." She faked a yawn and Toby studied her closely before slowly nodding.
"Okay, but is that all? Because you know you can tell me if there's something else." Spencer had every intention on telling Toby what happened in the basement but after her futile search for Emily at the party, and one too many Whiskey shots all she wanted to do now was go inside and collapse into her bed pillows.
"I know." She offered him a small smile while leaning in to press a firm kiss to his lips. A part of her celebrated the familiar warmth that spread throughout her body at the simple touch of his lips, feeling reassured of the strength of her love for Toby despite what happened earlier with Paige.
"Looks like you've got company." Toby commented as he pulled away from the kiss and his eyes traveled over Spencer's shoulder. He pointed towards the porch where, under the yellow incandescent glow, they both noticed someone sitting on the top step. It only took Spencer a second to recognize the girl huddled in front of her entrance, and two seconds after that she was hastily unclipping her seatbelt and throwing open the passenger door.
"I'll call you tomorrow." She said hurriedly, giving Toby one last kiss on the cheek before hopping out of the truck and all but running to where Emily was perched on her step. She slowed her pace as she got closer, all her adrenaline suddenly turning to lead in her bones at the sight of her friend and the uncertainty of what would happen next.
"Hey." She greeted hesitantly, cringing as the word left her lips. She'd been planning on saying so much more but the instant she opened her mouth her carefully constructed explanation got stuck in her throat.
"Hey." Emily echoed, standing up and dusting her pants off as Spencer climbed the steps coming to a stop in front of her.
Once the customary salutations were out of the way they both feel silent, and for a while the only sound around them was the chirping of the crickets and the humming of Spencer's porch light which desperately needed to be changed.
When the silence became too uncomfortable Spencer decided to just bite the bullet and say the first thing that came to mind, unaware that Emily's thoughts matched her own.
"I'm sorry." They both blurted the words at the same time, frowning immediately afterward because neither of them expected the other to be apologizing.
"What are you sorry for?" Spencer asked, quirking an eyebrow at her friend.
"You first." Emily dodged.
"Uhh, I made out with your girlfriend in a room full of people and you obviously weren't cool with it." Spencer resisted the urge to add 'duh' to the end of her sentence, knowing it was an unnecessarily smug thing to do. "Your turn." Spencer urged.
Emily took a small breath before speaking. "I overreacted. I shouldn't have made the two of you feel guilty for playing that game after telling you I was okay with it. It was really unfair of me." Her eyes remained glued on Spencer as she shuffled from foot to foot nervously.
"Can we just say what this is really about?" Spencer's voice was soft but full of the perceptivity typical of her personality. "You've been weird every since that night at Aria's." She folded her arms in front of her, hoping Emily would agree with what she was saying, but when the other girl simply looked away Spencer decided to keep going. "Last week at The Brew, when I offered Paige my scone because I was full, you practically jumped out of your skin to give her your bagel instead. You're jumpy whenever I so much as say her name and you wouldn't even accept Toby's invitation to ride with us to the party. I should've never thought you were okay with playing Spin-the-Bottle. I wasn't thinking and now I don't know what to do to make it right."
Emily sighed, knowing the conversation was inevitable at this point. She was afraid to ask what was on her mind but her curiosity wouldn't let the question die. She had to know. "Spence, be honest with me…do you like Paige?"
"Of course I like her. She's your girlfriend." Spencer replied flippantly, shrugging her shoulders for emphasis of her indifference.
Emily exhaled heavily at Spencer's blatant dodging of her question. "You know that's not what I meant."
Spencer frowned, feigning misunderstanding. "I like that she makes you happy, that she's loyal and that she does everything she can to protect you."
Emily's stare was stern. "You still didn't answer my question." She resisted the urge to tap her foot like a petulant child, knowing Spencer was just being stubborn at this point.
"And I'm not going to." Spencer replied calmly, shaking her head at Emily's look of protest. "I'm not going to answer it because it doesn't matter Em. You're with Paige and I'm with Toby and we're both happy with the people that we love. I'm your friend and I would never do anything to come between you two. That's all that matters. Everything else is just a distraction."
"Spencer, we can't just ignore the fact that you like my girlfriend." Emily responded, exasperated by her friend's reasoning.
"Why not?" Spencer seemed genuinely confused, which threw Emily because Spencer Hastings was never confused. About anything.
"B-because." Emily stuttered lamely, frustrated that she couldn't come up with a good enough reason for why they couldn't just ignore it.
"Emily, what happened tonight wasn't me making a move on Paige. I would never do that to you. It was just a game that went a little too far. I love you way too much to hurt you like that." Spencer's tone was sincere, almost pleading, and Emily couldn't help but be affected by her words. She trusted Spencer and she trusted Paige, it was her own emotions that she couldn't rely on.
Spencer was right. She had to let it go or else it would gnaw at her like a parasite until it destroyed them.
Sometimes a crush was just a crush.
She stepped closer, pulling Spencer into a tight hug which Spencer instantly returned, wrapping her arms comfortably around Emily's neck.
"Consider it forgotten." Emily muttered into Spencer's hair, feeling Spencer's hold on her tighten even more at her words, as if she were worried Emily would recant what she'd said if she let go too soon.
"I promise I'll never offer Paige my scone ever again." Spencer whispered after a few seconds, in total seriousness. She could feel Emily's chest vibrate against her shoulder as she laughed warmly at her comment.
"Paige hates bagels. She stared at your scone the entire time she was pretending to eat it." Now it was Spencer's turn to laugh and Emily couldn't help but join in.
End