On a bright sunny day, we find General James Ironwood, in his office, suffering at the hands, of the petty squabbles, of his fellow officers. Rise in Grimm activity has put a strain on Atlas military. Day after day, the general had mountains of paperwork loaded with requests for more man power. Finally Ironwood snapped, "EVERYONE OUT!"

The other officers looked at their superior in shock, but quickly complied with only Winter remaining. "Would you like me to leave as well?" She asked.

"Please do, I need a moment to myself." The Schnee complied and closed the doors on her way out.

The general rested his hands upon his face as he began to recuperate, but a sinister snake like sound gave him a chill he'll never forget. "Hello James."

Instantly recognizing that voice, he turned up to see his worst nightmare in front of him. The Wicked Witch Salem stood before the man as ooze dripped out of her gown, shoveling across the floor, and making its way to the door sealing it from the inside out. "It's been too long," She moaned, "How have you been?"

The general did not answer, instead he stared at his intruder for a few seconds until he viciously stood up, pulling out his magnum and began firing at the enchantress. She blocked every shot with the palm of her hand and even though the gunfire alerted his fellow officers and Winter back to his office. They were unable to break through the massive goo like substance.

Hearing their struggles on the other side, James turned his attention to the panic button on his desk. He attempted to reach for it only to halt his action as Salem threw a knife right next to it. The blade then unfolded itself into a small spider like Grimm as it hovered over the button, hissing at the general. He then turned his attention back to her, pointing his weapon in her direction, but stopped as Salem hushed, "Whoa now James, I didn't come here to fight. You couldn't beat me by yourself anyway."

"What do you want," He growled through his teeth.

"Well you see James, I've been developing a new craving recently. Before, I wanted nothing but the suffering of others and world domination, but right now I only seem to have one thing on my mind. MAAAAANN'S BUTT."

"Man's butt?"

"You see over the years our tastes change. What was once a cherish momentum quickly becomes a stale reminder, but there's one thing that never changes James. Our primal desire for intimacy. It's in our biology, yes even mine." She moved closer and began to lean on the general's desk, "And when you've been alive as long as I have, the most important thing in your life, is going to be booty. A MAAAAAAAANS butt. Booty is more important than life, is more important than food, is more important than... drinking water."

Ironwood stared down at the witch in contempt, while she stared back at him softly licking her lips. She soothed, "I'm gonna make this real simple... I likes ya and I wants ya. Now we can do this the easy way...Or we can do it the hard way. The choice is yours."

As the tension began to build up, James said the one thing Salem could have never predicted, "I don't have an ass."

With a complete dumbfounded look on her face, the witch uttered, "Wha-...What?"

This prompted the general to holster his weapon, drop his pants to reveal nothing but a metallic exoskeleton. Salem's jaw dropped for a solid few seconds and groaned, "Well fuck, nothing I can do with that...You don't happen to have a vibrating dildo hidden behind that metal crotch plate of yours or are you completely a Ken doll down there."

"This is it lady, sorry to disappoint you," James snarled.

"Well shit, I guess I'll go fuck that Arc kid. He gets paired up with literally every female character in this show anyway so might as well."

Remember the phrase Jaune, "The booty is mine, it belongs to me, you can not take my booty." XD, Yeah I was watching some Boondocks and I thought about this scene and thought, yeah why wouldn't this sex crazed version of Salem prey on the good guys. Anyways, might as well call this Salem's harem at this point. Hell every time there's a harem fic it always focuses on the waifus so why not be different.