The Ice Warriors prepared to snuff out Jenny and Mickey's lives. All of a sudden, a helicopter whizzed overhead, firing futuristic beams of light, which blasted all three Warriors to kingdom come. Mr Cybes tried to emergency temporal shift, then remembered he couldn't, so he surrendered. The chopper landed, closely followed by the Helicopter. Brigadier Benton clambered out of the Helicopter, and shook Mickey's hand, then shook Mr Cybes. Ferociously. "Where's this Doctor guy, eh? EH?" he roared into his face.
"Let me persuade 'im, guv." Murmured the chopper in Benton's ear.
Benton looked nervously at the chopper. "I don't think that'll be necessary." he said hurriedly. The chopper sighed, shouldered his axe, and emergency temporal shifted into the next chapter.
Jenny frowned at Benton. "The Doctor's in the TARDIS. MY TARDIS." she said grumpily. Mickey, who thought he should have at least one line this opening, peered into the sky. "But where's he going?" He asked in what he hoped was a suspenseful voice, but which he had a sneaking suspicion was akin to someone with a bad cold.
In the TARDIS, Jack lounged in the chair with built-in toaster in the arm. Rose did a seductive dance in front of him. Round the other side of the console, the Doctor crouched, peering over the top of the console and wincing at Rose's gyrations. He popped open the panel next to his knee and started fiddling with the circuitry within. He jabbed a pen into the console interior. There was a large explosion, the Doctor was thrown backwards through the doors, and Rose was thrown forwards, getting her nose firmly jammed in the toaster. The Doctor clung desperately to the door, the whirling time vortex behind him. He felt his feet age three years as his flailing body whipped between time streams; he felt corns and bunions forming. Suddenly, a jet of pure Arton energy flew into the TARDIS, causing it to lurch forwards; he toppled inside. Systems went into overdrive; the toaster exploded, vapourising Rose's nose. Jack grabbed a crowbar and swung it at the Doctor's head. The Doctor grabbed Jack's wrist, and for a moment, the two stared into each other's eyes. Then the moment was gone, and Jack was on the floor with a Chinese burn. Rose ran forward. The Doctor looked up, and he appealed to Rose's better nature, despite the fact that he wasn't sure she had one. "Rose!" he pleaded. "He only wants you for your armaments"
"And what armaments they are, too." Jack murmured woozily from the floor.
"Rose, listen! Come with me, get a replacement nose and help me kill Jack"
"What? But you don't kill!?!" spluttered Jack from the floor. "People change." sneered the Doctor. "I've seen what you do in the future. I can't let it happen. I CAN'T!"
Benton, Mickey and Jenny ran to Jack's office. "So how come the TARDIS is yours now?" Mickey asked. "I'll explain later." Jenny shot back. They arrived at Jack's office door. Benton hurled a grenade at it. The door curved inwards, then evaporated. The swirling void of the Time Vortex filled the doorway, causing Mickey and Benton to shrink back. "My eyes! The pain!" squawked Mickey.
"I see it!" shouted Jenny. "A portal into some kind of time corridor!" This said, she grabbed Mickey's hand and pulled him into the Vortex. Benton could only watch as they were dragged into the bulging, oozing mass of the Vortex...
The TARDIS zoomed through the Vortex. The Doctor threw back switch after switch in an attempt to stabilise the TARDIS. Finally the TARDIS came to a dead stop. Jack sat in the chair, tying a bandage around Rose's head, covering the place where her nose had been. The Doctor stared at him grimly. "Well, here we are." he said grimly. "The third year of the Harknessian empire. We're on the Moon, of course; you turn the Earth into a pile of Radioactive gloop six months previously. You're using it as fuel for your foul time travelling warheads. You're on the breakthrough of getting those warheads through into neighbouring universes; you're about to take the multiverse by storm. And that's where I come in." The Doctor withdrew a small gun from his pocket, levelling it at Jack.
"Careful, Doc." Jack spluttered. "You know what I'm like around guns"
"Really? It's stopwatches in my universe." The Doctor murmured. He squeezed the trigger, trying not to think about all the things Jack had squeezed in his time. One of these things was Rose, who now whacked the Doctor on the back of the head, knocking him out.
The Doctor came to, groaning. Jack was standing triumphantly over him. With a start, the Doctor realised that he was no longer in the TARDIS, but on the surface of the Moon. Fires blazed in the habitat domes around them, and miserable looking, scantily clad slaves coughed dazedly nearby. Jack drew a wicked- looking knife from his pocket, and held it to the Doctor's throat. "This time, there'll be no mistakes." he hissed...
If I can be bothered, I'll work out why Jenny owns the TARDIS, and put it in a later story. Please review, it means I get at least some emails.
Next time, a bit more innuendo, and Rose is fitted with a sonic nose...