A/N: Wow. Late much? It's only been… almost two years since I started this story. In case you're wondering what I've been up to since the last chapter, I went to Toronto and was bored, and I started high school. Yep. I'm a sophomore now, so my writing will hopefully be better than it was whenever you all subscribed to this story.
Speaking of people subscribing to me, I just wanted to thank everyone who has subscribed and reviewed this. The fact that people are still reading my stories even though it's been so long really means a lot to me. I'll try to be better at updating, and I have some ideas for more stories.
"No. No. No." It took Haruhi a few minutes to grasp what was being said, but only a moment to decide that she didn't like it. "I don't want to be bait, and I really don't want to be part of your club. Thanks for the offer, but I think I'll take the kidnapper, please."
"But you have to, Haru-chan!" The small blond boy cried. "It's the only way to rescue the other students"
"I don't want to have any part of this!" Haruhi shouted. "And who are you calling Haru-chan?"
"You don't have a choice," Kyouya explained. "If you don't stay here, you'll be kidnapped. Would you really want us to have to explain to your family that you disappeared because you refused to take part in a school club?" Haruhi tried to think of something to respond to that, but he was right. For some reason, someone wanted to kidnap her. If she was gone, her father would have to cook his own food, and she knew firsthand what a disaster his cooking was.
"I… well…" she stuttered feebly. "Fine. What do I have to do?" She muttered. Tamaki's eyes widened.
"I will teach you everything you need to know about being a gentleman!" he exclaimed grandly. "When holding a cup of tea, you must―"
"But I don't want to be a gentleman," Haruhi said, cutting him off. "I don't want to be a host in your club."
"Haruhi!" Tamaki said firmly. "You WILL be a host in this club." He started walking toward Haruhi, causing her to back up. "It is a great honor for you to be in this host club!"
"But this is so superfi― ah!" She had backed up too much and had run into a pedestal with a large vase atop it. She reached to catch it before it fell, but it slipped away from her grasp. Haruhi could only watch in terror as the vase fell to the ground, shattering to pieces.
"Aww, we were going to auction that off at the festival!" Hikaru said.
"The bidding on that vase was going to start at eight-million yen!" Kaoru added. Haruhi's eyes widened.
"Uh, I'm going to have to pay you back."
"With what money?" Hikaru asked. "You can't even afford a school uniform!"
"This is perfect!" Tamaki said happily. "While we protect you from the evil kidnappers, you can pay off your debt to us!"
Haruhi fell to the ground in a dead faint.
After letting her regain consciousness and giving her a cup of tea, the host club gave Haruhi a tour of their humble music room.
"These are the chairs and tables, and those are the tea sets, and over there is where we keep the snacks and cakes, and this is the window where you can see birds fly away together on every hour exactly, and that's the fire extinguisher, it's mostly for decoration because we have a sprinkler system…" Tamaki rambled on to her aimlessly for a good twenty minutes or so before she started to get annoyed.
"Senpai, I don't see why anyone would need a host club like this," she interrupted.
Tamaki gasped, as if she had just stabbed him with a dessert fork. "We have this club to provide girls with happiness and beauty, something that every person should―"
"There's no point to this," Kyouya stated, walking by. "This club is just a cover for our operation."
Tamaki gaped at him for a moment, then proceeded to sit in a corner gloomily and tear up a newspaper.
"What do you mean by 'operation'? And what is this all a cover for?" Haruhi asked. The girl she saw earlier appeared behind her shoulder.
"It's quite simple really," she said, pulling over the blackboard which was now covered with a new set of scribbles. "This host club is comprised of Japan's youngest and most talented covert-ops team. Each person has an important job that is vital to a successful operation. For instance," she pointed at a stick figure. "Tamaki Suoh is the leader. He makes the life-or-death decisions for the team, and he is also skilled in undercover work."
"I really don't want him making any life-or-death decisions for me," Haruhi complained, but Renge ignored her.
"Kyouya," she went on, pointing to a stick person with huge glasses, "is Tamaki's second-in-command. He's the one responsible for hacking any computers and recording devices, and keeping an eye on everyone else through monitors back at the base. He's the voice in your ear telling you what to do, when Tamaki can't."
"You guys have a base?" Haruhi wondered. Hikaru and Kaoru came up behind her and grabbed her arms.
"Hey, we almost forgot," Hikaru said.
"The new guy hasn't seen Mission Control yet," Kaoru finished the sentence. Together, they dragged a protesting Haruhi to a bookshelf at the back of the room. Kaoru pulled a book down from the top shelf and the wall and the bookshelf turned sideways, revealing a hidden, brightly lit staircase.
"Which book was that?" Haruhi asked as they started descending the stairs.
"I don't know," Kaoru replied. "Any of the books on the shelf will open the passageway."
"Aren't you worried that a host club customer will open it on accident?" She asked, confused.
Hikaru laughed. "Don't worry about it. No one comes to the host club to read."
Kaoru reached the bottom of the steps first, and pressed a small red button next to a large metal door. He placed his hand on the wall and a red line scanned it up and down, like the barcode scanner at the grocery store Haruhi suddenly remembered she still needed to visit. A screen above the scanner read KAORU HITACHIIN in bright green letters as the door slowly disappeared into the ceiling.
Haruhi's mouth gaped open when she saw the inside of the room. The walls were all lined with monitors that were larger than any television she had ever seen. A main control panel stretched across the front wall, complete with hundreds of buttons and switches that blinked and beeped. Wires ran along the ceiling, connecting the huge panel with every monitor, computer, and miscellaneous device within sight.
"Those servers over there hold information on every student in the school," Hikaru explained. "Name, grade, address, family history, habits, etcetera. We know more about everyone here than they do about themselves." He smirked. "We even know that you're actually a girl."
Kaoru appeared next to him, an identical grin on his face. "So, when were you planning on telling us?" He asked innocently. "Tamaki still hasn't seen your file yet, and he hasn't figured it out."
"What? That I'm a girl?" Haruhi was still in shock from the sight of all the lights and sounds. "I think you should first tell me what all this is."
"This is our base." Hikaru explained. "It's full of information, extremely expensive, and no one knows about it. We call it the Bookstore."
"When we're on an assignment or something, usually it's just Kyouya's area, but we have a private kitchen down here that we like to use. Coffee?" Kaoru offered, opening a pantry in a corner Haruhi hadn't noticed before.
The sight of the brand-new, modern appliances was not surprising to Haruhi, but the sight of the huge coffee maker was. It looked like something she had only ever seen in coffee shops closer to the city. It definitely wasn't the type of contraption she expected to see in anyone's home, much less their "secret base".
"Why do you have that thing?" She wondered aloud.
"Turns out, our host club guests love coffee," said Hikaru.
"Oh, right," Haruhi thought to herself. "There's still a random host club happening upstairs."
"Why don't you guys just make instant coffee?" She asked Kaoru.
"What? You mean commoner's coffee? Don't be ridiculous." He laughed. "By the way, don't go through the door back there. It's where Honey and Mori keep their swords and shuriken."
"You mean… that elementary student uses shuriken? Don't be ridiculous…" Haruhi whispered to herself.
Another chapter is coming! Hopefully within the next… five years...