AN: Sorry about the slow update. Thanks for all the reviews and follows. Tell me what you think

They all stood up. Alexis, Martha, Kate, Lanie, Ryan Esposito, and even Jim, who had showed up when his daughter had called him on the verge of crying telling him what had happened to Castle.

" Okay, how about immediate kin?" Everyone except Martha and Alexis sat down. "Mister Castle suffered from many stab wounds to the abdominal region, 4 broken ribs, and a mild concussion ." The doctor said. "He is out of surgery. You can see him as soon as we get him settled in his room. He is not awake yet because of his pain medication. Once he is settled a nurse will com and guide you to his room, but only two at a time." The intercom came on signaling that the doctor was needed elsewhere. " Contact a nurse if you have any questions." And with that the doctor left.

It was still mid day but everyone was emotionally drained. " Well we are going home Beckett, I called Gates and told her what had happened she said we had the day off, but tomorrow we have to get to work on our own case." Ryan said. " Jenny and I will come back tomorrow sometime to check and see if he is awake."

"You should go home too Beckett. You need to rest, or at least change, You might scare him to death if you go in looking like that." Esposito said trying to lighten the mood. It didn't work, Beckett just stared down at the floor with her head in her hands. Ryan slapped him upside his head and mouthed 'dude.' with wide eyes. " We will be back tomorrow. Try and get some rest guys." Espo said apologetically. Lanie left with them leaving Jim, Kate, Martha, and Alexis.

" Katie are you going to be alright?" Jim asked with concern in his voice. Kate just nodded. " Well okay, I am going home. Call me if you need me for anything." He said saying the last part to them all of them. And with that Jim walked out of the hospital. No one said anything. The three ladies sat there with tension filling the room. Alexis was the first to interrupt the silence.

" What happened to my dad?" The young girl said with a hint of anger in her statement.

" I don't know. We heard LT screaming for help. He was supposed to be canvassing the area to look for our victim's wallet in near by dumpsters. I turned the corner and he was laying on the ground bleeding." Kate said coming up to meet Alexis with watery eyes. Alexis immediately felt sorry fro being harsh with the detective. "This is all my fault. If I wouldn't have dropped at that coffee shop he wouldn't be in that hospital bed." Martha had heard enough.

" Katherine Beckett! Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened. You are acting just like Richard did when you were in the same position. Now stop if he heard you talking like this he would say the same exact thing I am about to say. You did not do this to him. The people that stabbed him are held responsible for what happened in that alley." Martha ranted.\

" I'm sorry." Kate said in a small timid voice.

" I don't know whether you apologizing for what happened to Richard or for blaming yourself, but either way there is no need for it." Martha replied. At that moment a nurse rounded the corner . They all stood and looked on anxiously for what she said.

" Family of Richard Castle?" They nodded. " He is settled in his room. So which of you guys will be visiting first?"

" They will." Kate said before they could reply.

" Alright well you can come too, but will have to wait outside his room." The nurse said. They were led to Castle's room. The two redheads went in first. Kate was left with her thoughts. Many things passed through her brain. Was it just a random attack? Who was behind it? Why did this happen to him? A half hour later Martha and Alexis stepped out of the room with tear streaked faces. They gave a small smile and said they were heading home and would come back tomorrow to see if was better.

'Okay lets do this' Beckett thought to herself. She entered the room with caution. She didn't want to wake him even if he was probably knocked out because of the drugs. She went in and sat in a chair next to his to his bed. She grabbed his hand and said, " I'm sorry I let this happen Castle. I should have waited for you instead of going to the crime scene without you. If I had maybe this wouldn't have happened." Tears flowed down her face. She tried to make them quit because she had to stay strong for him. She thought about what Martha had said about blaming herself. All she could think about was the what ifs. What if she never got to hold his hand again? What if she never got to kiss him again? What is she never got to hear his laugh or see him smile?

She out those thoughts out of her head. She stayed a few minutes later just to feel the warmth of his hand in hers, and listen to his heartbeat. All of those things reassured her that she had not lost him yet. With a final kiss on his forehead she said, " I love you." She thought to herself that maybe one day she would be able to say them to him when he was not asleep or unconscious.

"Kate. . ."