This Ain't Kansas, Toto

Author: USA Tiger

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age, it's property of BioWear. But the original character 'Christen' does belong to me.

Thankies to me best minion Asilyessam for betaing/proof reading behind me

Author Note: Okay, so well over a year since I updated this, but I have been working on this chapter on and off, it's just not one of my main projects. But I'm trying out shorter chapters so I might be able to post most in general.

I've gotten a twitter account in the meantime, you can follow me usa_tiger1983 where I post updates and fic recs and all that stuff.

Chapter 3

Christen nearly cried when Ostagar came into sight. Duncan had been pushing the three mages for almost a week to make it to the ruins in good time from the tower. Nash had been keeping his distance from Christen, which was good because after a few days, no hours of almost constantly walking except for when they stopped at night or had a short break during the day, the human-in-elf woman was not in the mood to deal with the brat. Her feet were numb with pain, her legs and lower back was killing her, she hadn't have a decent night sleep in days… all around she was miserable.

She tuned out Duncan and the boys' conversation about the Ostagar ruins, she knew about it already after all from her many play throughs of the game.

"It's something, isn't it," Gabe asked as he dropped back to talk with his friend.

"Yeah it's something alright," Christen said as she dragged one foot in front of the other. It was going to be a bloodbath come that evening, oh that was something that really made her stomach turn. She wanted to badly to tell Duncan about what Loghain was going to do, that Calian, the Grey Wardens and the bulk of the army was going to be slaughtered by the Darkspawn. She knew how the Doctor felt in Doctor Who when faced with events he knew he couldn't change now; it was not a good feeling.

Everyone's attention as drawn to the entrance of the ruins as a man with golden blond shoulder length hair and golden armor came forward to greet Duncan, followed by two regular soldiers acting as guards. Duncan seemed extremely surprised to see the younger man as he greeted the young king.

'So this is Calian in the flesh huh,' Christen thought to herself as she studied the blond. He looked a lot like Maric, his father, did on the front cover of the Stolen Throne she decided. The resemblance to Alistair was also pretty strong, even more so than it had been in the game. How people didn't notice how much alike the pair looked was mind boggling… or maybe people did notice and didn't say anything outside of gossip.

"Allow me to introduce you, your Majesty," Christen heard Duncan said, right she needed to start paying attention now.

"No need to be so formal, Duncan. We'll be shedding blood together, after all," Cailan said with a little laugh as he approached the mages. "Ho there, friends! Might I know your names?"

"I'm Nash Amell your majesty," Nash said his voice taking on a very proper tone as he bowed slightly to the older blond. "The Maker has blessed us a chance to fight by your side."

'Brown noser,' Christen thought with a roll of her eyes as Cailan gave a little polite laugh, he had to have heard all kinds of crap like that being king she bet.

"My name is Gabe Surana," Gabe said as he placed a hand across his chest and bowed his head just a tiny bit.

"Name's Christen…" Christen started to say when Cailan turned his attention to her then blinked. What the hell was her counterpart's last name; she never learned it since being here and had no idea if it was the same as hers. God she hoped not, this was weird enough she didn't want to have another thing in common with her Elfy-boy self. "Ya know, let's just stick with that."

"Well welcome all of you. The Grey Wardens are desperate to bolster their numbers, and I, for one, am glad to help them," Cailan said smiling. "I understand all three of you hail from the Circle of Magi? I trust you have some spells to help us in the coming battle?"

"Of course sire," Nash said puffing out his chest. "I was the First Enchanter's personal student."

"So was Gabe ya numbskull," Christen said dryly ignoring the glare the young man sent her way. Duncan covered his mouth to hide a coughing laugh while Cailan grinned.

"Excellent. We have too few mages here, more is always welcome," the king said then turned to Duncan with a small sigh. "I'm sorry to cut this short, but I should return to my tent. Loghain waits eagerly to bore me with his strategies."

"Your uncle-" Christen tuned Duncan and Cailan out again.

"What is your problem?" Nash hissed at her under his breath while Duncan was distracted by the king.

"There isn't any need for you to be an ass kisser," Christen whispered. "You look like an idiot with all your boasting. Of course, you always look like an idiot."

"Why you rotten knife eared-" Nash started to say.

"Do you remember the last ass whooping you got; you really want another one in front of your king?" Christen said with a shark-like grin.

"Ahem," Duncan said catching their attention. Cailan and his guards were long gone now. "If you two are quite finished."

"Sure thing Duncan," Christen said with false cheerfulness as she walked past the Gray Warden commander to walk with Gabe. Nash was grinding his teeth behind him, Maker he hated that Elf. "So, I'm guessing the king is hoping finally have an adventure? Doesn't seem to take this whole Blight thing seriously does he." Duncan winced a bit at the words and gave an uncomfortable cough.

"What the king said is true, they've won several battles against the Darkspawn here," he said as followed the trio of mages. "But despite the victories so far, the Darkspawn horde grows larger with each passing day. By now, they look to outnumber us. I know there is an Archdemon behind this but I cannot ask the king to act solely on my feeling."

"Don't worry Duncan, we know you and the other Wardens are right," Christen said.

"I suppose the idea of this being a real Blight is terrifying," Gabe said. "No one really wants to admit it."

"That's gonna get a lot of people killed," Christen muttered in agreement.

"Ha! Well with my spells, we'll be able to beat back the Darkspawn easily," Nash boosted ignoring how Gabe and Christen rolled their eyes and Duncan coughed a little to cover a laugh.

"Yes, speaking of, we should proceed with the ritual without delay," Duncan said then looked at Gabe and Nash. "Feel free to explore but do not leave the camp. Find another Gray Warden by the name of Alistair, when you are ready, seek him out and tell him to summon the other recruits." Gabe and Nash both bowed their heads in acknowledgement then left when Duncan waved them off.

"Whoa wait, what about me?" Christen asked confused.

"You are free to explore the camp as well, but there is no need for you to join the others in preparing for the ritual," Duncan said. "Or you can join me at the Gray Warden's camp. Either way I have business I need to attend too."

"Yeah sure, I gotcha," Christen said nodding. "Warden stuff. I'm a big gr-guy, I can entertain myself," she added, just barely catching herself from calling herself a 'girl'. Gods this whole gender issue sucked. Duncan didn't seem to notice or care about her almost slip, just nodding his head and heading across the bridge. More or less alone now, Christen huffed and crossed her arms over her chest while blowing at a strand of hair hanging in her face. "Well fuck, now what am I suppose to do?"

She had assumed that she would be going out with the others while they gathered the vials of Darkspawn blood for the ritual and those documents they needed. That way she could get a chance to talk to Flemeth about her situation but now that was going to have to wait until after the battle.

'It makes sense for me not to go,' Christen reasoned as she started walking across the bridge, doing her best not to look over the sides. She really fucking hated heights and parts of the bridge had no rails making her walk very quickly to get to the ruins on the other side. 'I mean, I'm not going to be doing the ritual thing and they have some weird thing about tradition I guess. Still sucks, I want to talk to the dragon lady.' She sighed deeply as she made it to the safety of the other side and walked into the ruins.

She stopped in shaded spot and watched the activity of the camp. It was a bit like organized chaos, people were running back and forth like chickens with their heads cut off. There were mabaris barking somewhere in the camp. She could see a bunch of poor elves that looked overworked as they ran errands all over the place. And she could hear the voice of that Chantry person droning on and on in the background about the Maker or some crap.

Christen considered what she could do to make the time go by faster, tapping her fingers on her leg. A guest of wind blew through the camp and stirred the edge of her robes, reminding her of something that she really wanted to do, get some pants and get the hell out of the robes. Only… she didn't have much in the way of money… in fact she didn't have any money at all. She wondered if Duncan could lend her enough coin to buy something.

"Hey there!" Christen gave a high pitch scream and jumped, spinning around on to face the person who snuck on up her only to trip over the edge of the robes and fall over onto her back.

"Oww…" she groaned loudly.

"Maker's breath!" the person who scared her to start with said.

"Good job, you nearly scared him to death," another voice said. Christen blinked as the sun was suddenly blocked out as two heads appeared over her.

"Are you alright?" the first person said.

"Fuck you nearly gave me a heart attack," Christen said as she sat up rubbing the back of her head and took the chance to look at the other two.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," the same person who had scared her said. It was an Elf guy in his late teens or maybe early 20's, with messy looking red hair that looked closes the same shade as a carrot, and had a scattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks. His eyes were a pretty blue color and were looking at her in concern.

"Yeah it's fine," Christen said as she pulled herself up off the ground. "Just don't go sneaking up on people." She glanced over at the other figure, a young human woman with long black hair tied up in braids and bright shade of green eyes.

"Sorry," the elf apologized again. "We just heard about you from Duncan and wanted to come meet you."

"And you are?" Christen asked.

"Oh, sorry!" the elf said. Christen thought the younger elf should did apologize a lot. "I'm Feyndor Tabris, you can just call me Fey for short, and this is-"

"My name is Ella Cousland," the woman finished for him then laughed softly. "Sorry, he gets very excitable, a lot like mabari pup."

"Hey!" Fey said in mock offence but was grinning widely. By their feet a 'woof' sounded and Christen instantly stepped back as a huge mabari came up.

"Dude!" She yelped in surprise.

"That's my mabari Max," Ella said smiling as she knelt down next to the mabari. "Don't worry, he won't bite. He's really just a big ol' puppy. Aren't you Maxie?" she scratched the sides of Max's neck and behind his ears, the dog panting happily and his stub of a tail seeming to go 100 mph as it wagged. Max looked up at his mistress with pure adoration then started to circle around Christen once Ella had stood up, sniffing at the Elf's feet and legs.

"Man, that is one freaking big ass dog," Christen said holding out a hand for Max to sniff, the mabari's nose wet and cold as it pressed against the skin. Ella giggled softly.

"I know my fa-father," the young noble woman stumbled over the word slightly, a look of grief passing over her face before continuing,"He used to say Max was really a small horse in disguise."

"I'd believe it, he looks almost as big as a Shetland pony," Christen said as she petted Max. Ella and Fey traded confused looks, not knowing what a Shetland pony was.

"So you're a mage right?" Fey asked instead looking excited again. "From that mage's tower off Lake Calenhad?"

"Yeah…" Christen said slowly, eyeing Fey as the other elf started bouncing on his heels.

"What's it like to use magic?" he asked. "I always thought magic was fascinating. I mean most magics, not blood magic of course I know that's bad, but the rest of it has always sounded fascinating. I wish was a mage sometimes so I could use magic. What's it like living in that tower? How much magic do you know? Duncan said you were a seer?"

"Whoa whoa whoa there bucko, slow down," Christen said holding up her hands. Fey blushed and rubbed his neck.

"Sorry," he said with a little nervous laugh. Christen shook her head in amusement and even Ella was laughing softly behind her hand. She looked around and saw a few nearby people eyeing them.

"It's okay but maybe we should move this conversation somewhere else," Christen suggested jerking her thumb at the on-lookers. "I'll answer yer questions but them folk over there are starting to look like nervous nellies."

"You have a very… interesting… way of talking," Ella noted. "But I agree, we should find somewhere else to talk. Come on, there are several nice little private places here in the ruins."

"I like the way he talks," Fey said as he and Christen followed Ella further into the ruins.

"Hey, can we grab a bite to eat? I haven't anything to eat in hours except a bit of jerky," Christen asked as the scent of cooking food hit her nose. Fey's stomach growled in agreement.

"Yeah!" he agreed, even Max barked in agreement.

"Well it seems like I have been out voted," Ella joked as they altered their course to grab lunch.

Christen sighed happily as she leaned back against the broken column patting her stomach, feeling fuller than she had in a while. The meat had been a little on the tough side, and there had been no veggies to speak of except a few potatoes, and the bread had been dry and a little hard but it was hell of a lot better than the rations that Duncan had fed them on the road or the gruel she had been forced to eat in the tower. She was sure she would regret the amount she ate later but it had been worth it.

"You act like you haven't eaten in years," Ella said in a surprised tone.

"I haven't had decent food in years," Christen said patting her stomach again. "They mostly feed us bland porridge, tasteless meat and vegs or other horrible tasting gruels."

"Why in the name of the Maker would they do that?" Fey asked between bites of his own dinner. Max was sitting by his side eyeing the bowl in the Elf's lap and giving Fey the puppy-dog eyes hoping for a bite.

"Eh, I guess Templars think if mages got anything nice we'd suddenly all become processed by demons or something," Christen snorted. "Or they're just assholes. You know, I'm just gonna go with they're assholes."

"What what is living in that tower like?" Fey asked leaning forward eagerly. "It's kinda a bit of a dream sometimes you know, to be a mage so we can go live in a circle. I always heard it's much nicer than the alienage."

"I guess I can see that," Christen said in a somewhat flat tone. "Alienages are pretty horrible."

"I have you know the alienage in Highever is very nice," Ella said slightly offended.

"Yeah, but your home is just one place, other alienages are dumps," Christen pointed out, Fey nodding in agreement. "Eh, the tower itself is pretty cool. It's very roomy and stuff but it sucks living there. I don't know what fantasy you people got about how mages live, but we're treated like prisoners there. Hell, we are prisoners."

"It is really that horrible?" Fey asked with wide blue eyes.

"Yeah," Christen said. "Beyond the whole being taken away from your family, by force sometimes, and then locked up your whole life in a circle just cause you can use magic, there's the verbal abuse, the physical abuse and even sexual abuse." Both Ella and Fey looked at her in shock.

"Y-you're serious?" Ella asked horrified.

"Of course I'm serious," Christen said throwing her hands into the air. "Why would I joke about something like that? Templars have no problem talking down to us mages, beating us for any little wrong or just for fun, saying we looked at them funny. And you hear the stories about Templars raping some of the mages." Fey's face was very pale and Ella had a horrified look on her face. "I mean… I heard other Circles are a lot worse, but it's still no cake walk."

"Surly the Chantry wouldn't condone something like-" Ella started to say making Christen snort.

"You don't think they don't know do you?" she said. "Look, I'm not saying all Templars are assholes. Like with anyone else, you got good people in the Templars and you got bad people. Same with the Chantry. But the Chantry pretty much turns a blind eye toward the abuse mages get, they don't care about us."

"I don't think the Chantry cares about anyone but themselves," Fey whispered as he thought back to his wedding and the Chantry Mother who had stood by and let that noble prick and his men take Fey's cousin and the other girls to have their way with them instead of calling the guards to protect the Elves.

"Eeehhh," Christen held up her hand and wobbled it side to side. "It depends on the person like I said. There are good people, but it seems most days like there is more bad than good." She thought of Lelianna who was a good example of a good person in the Chantry.

"Huh… I guess I have never thought of it that way," Fey said then his nose wrinkled a bit. "I guess we never encounter any of the 'good' Chantry people then."

"So what's yall's stories anyway?" Christen said changing the subject as she put her empty plate down next to Max so he could lick up the juices. He barked happily then attacked the plate. "How didja become Gray Wardens?" She was curious to find out just what sort of background the pair had.

"Well I guess we start with me," Fey said. "I was at my wedding with a girl that the matchmaker had found for me, I was really nervous but she ended up being really nice and sweet. My cousin Soris was getting married too but the Arl's son, Vaughan, and his bootlickers crashed the wedding and kidnapped Nesiara, that was the woman I was going to marry, my other cousin Shianni and a few other girls. He was a real arse, he came to the Alienage earlier harassing everyone until Shianni knocked him out with a water jug."

"I remember Vaughan, he was always an arse. He tried to get fresh with me once," Ella said then crossed her arms with a huff. "Tried is the key word, I kicked his arse then Fergus did so again after I was through with him."

"I would have paid to see that," Fey said with a laugh then sighed as his shoulders slumped. "Anyway, he crashed the wedding and took the girls. I tried to stop them but one of them hit me in the head and knocked me out. That bitch of a Chantry Mother didn't even try to call the guards, she was only concerned about herself as if Vaughan would have been stupid enough to touch a Chantry Mother."

"So what happened then?" Christen asked, thinking that so far it seemed on par with the game.

"Well I wasn't going to let Shianni and the others suffer whatever that tosser had in store for them," Fey said. "Soris agreed with me and agreed to go with me into the Arl's estate. Duncan was there too, he's a friend of Hahren Valendrian, and he let me borrow his blades. One of the Elves that work at the estate got us inside. We found poor Nola's body in one of the rooms, killed her without any remorse." Fey's head was hanging in sorrow, Ella reached over and squeezed his shoulder in comfort.

"It should be a crime how Vaughan treated all of them," she said. "We wouldn have never let him get away with that in Highever, Elves there have just as much rights as the humans under my family's protection."

"At least someone cares," Fey said giving Ella a small smile. "So after we find Nola's body, we tear through the rest of the estate until we find that bastard Vaughan. He… he hurt Shianni then had a gall to offer me money to turn away and let him do what he wanted with the rest of the girls." Fey gave a dark wicked smile and his blue eyes darken with anger. "He didn't last long, I gutted him like the pig he was. Afterward I turned myself over to the guards to protect Soris and the girls but Duncan saved me by conscripting me for the Wardens. After than we traveled to Highever."

"So that's where you two met then?" Christen asked.

"Well… sorta," Fey said.

"Fey wasn't there when Duncan came to visit with Father and Howe," Ella spat Howe's name like a curse.

"I was in the alienage, delivering word to Nesiara and Valora's families that they were alright," Fey said. "And visiting a few of my cousins that live there. I didn't meet Ella until much later than night."

"Duncan was an old friend of Father's," Ella said her lips quirking up into a small smile. "He tried to hint to Father I would make an excellent Gray Warden but both Father and Mother told him no. Fergus had left for Ostagar with half our men, Father was to follow the next day but that… that traitorous backstabber Howe he betrayed my family. He ordered an attack on my family's castle… killed my sister-in-law and my sweet little nephew… tried to kill me but Max heard them coming." She petted Max gently as he whined and placed his head on her lap.

"Man, that's rough," Christen said softly with wide eyes. She knew of course what happened, but the emotion in Ella's voice as she forced herself to speak of what happen to her family… "You know, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"No, I am fine," Ella said with a small shake of her here. "There isn't much more to tell anyway. Mother and I helped those escape that were able, coming to an old secret passage that lead out of the castle. We found father very badly hurt, Duncan and Fey was there as well. Mother refused to leave Father's side, both bade me to run… I refused, I wanted to stay and protect them, Father made Duncan take me to safety." She gave a soft humorless laugh. "I hated him for that, but… at the same time I am grateful, I would have just died along with them. I was foolish, I know I was. I agreed to join the Wardens after that."

"Wow…" Christen shook her head. "Yall's stories are a lot wilder than mine, I tell you what. So it was just you two with Duncan then?"

"Oh no, there was one other person that was recruited with us," Fey said. "A Dalish Elf, we came across her clan on the way to Ostagar."

'What, really? Mahariel too? Are all the origins wardens gonna be here?' Christen thought to herself. It wasn't something she had expected; hell she hadn't thought she would run into Coulsand or Tabris, assuming that Gabe Surana and Nash Amell would be the only Wardens.

"So am I going to meet her too then?" She asked. Fey's face dropped in sadness and Ella sighed and shook her head.

"No, Mahariel passed away during our joining," Ella explained.

'Oh shit! The Wardens can die from the joining?' Christen thought to herself as her eyes widened. "She died?"

"Arialva wanted to die," Fey said softly. "She told me. She wanted to be with her friend, I think she was in love with him."

"Fey is right, I wasn't close to her. She didn't really like 'Shems' as she called me but she liked Fey here," Ella winced slightly. "Most people aren't very kind to the Dalish so I guess I can't blame her for that. Oh… I guess you didn't know. It's usually supposed to stay a secret but I guess you'll find out anyway if you stay around the Gray Wardens long enough. The joining is… well…"

"We have to drink Darkspawn blood," Fey said his nose wrinkling in disgust. "It's really nasty."

"Yes, it was very unpleasant and painful but it allows us to sense the Darkspawn, if we survive that is. Not everyone does," Ella said slowly.

"So wait… there's a chance that Gabe can die from this," Christen clarified.

"Yes… it's very possible your friends or the other recruits can die. But it doesn't mean they will," Ella quickly added to reassure Christen.

"That jackass Nash isn't my friend," Christen said absently while thinking, 'Oh crap… I though all the possible Wardens from the game would pass no matter what! I didn't think it was possible they could die. Shit, what do I do if Gabe is killed… fuck, I hope my luck holds out and he passes… I guess jackass too…'

"Hey hey, it's okay," Fey said as he shook Christen's shoulder getting her attention back. "I mean if you're really worried can't you…" Here Fey stopped and looked around then leaned closer. "Look into the future and see if they survive? I mean Duncan said that's what you can do right? You're a seer?"

"It doesn't really work that way, I can't do it on command. It's a little pre-cognitive and a little post-cognitive," Christen explained.

"What… and what?" Fey asked confused as those were words he never heard before. Ella looked confused as well. Christen blew at a strand of hair that fell into her face then attempted describe the two abilities.

"Pre-cognition is seeing into the future, in my case I can get visions but it doesn't mean those events I see are going to pass. It's hazy cause the future isn't set in stone, so I see more than one path. Plus I need Gabe when happens cause he's my anchor otherwise I just get lost in the visions," she said. "Post-cognition is seeing into the past, I can get little glimpses from people or areas but I can't control it."

"I have never heard it explained that way," Ella said. "But I know very little about magic, other than mages are serve man not rule them."

Christen snorted before saying in a dry tone, "Honey, please, magic is nothing but a tool. It's not some living thinking force; it's just a skill that some people can use. Magic doesn't force a person to be bad or good, those who abuse it would find some other way to be bad people. That Howe person isn't a mage I take it yet he was evil, should every person like him be locked away or kill just for using a sword?"

"Oh… I… I meant no offence," Ella said with her face flushed in embarrassment.

"I know you didn't, but think about how it feels to be ripped from your family, locked away just cause you can do something others can't, told all your life you're a tool and worthless and treated like shit just cause you can use magic. To live in fear of being killed, raped, beaten or made tranquil," Christen said. "You're lucky, you don't have to live with that crap but there are people who are free yet live in fear that one day they'll be caught and killed. People who don't hurt or bother anyone, all cause a handful of mages got too big for their britches and went into the Fade and brought something back that made Darkspawn. Now all mages are punished for it, how is that fair?"

"I-I apologize, I did not think," Ella said covering half her face with a hand. Christen sighed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Yeah yeah, it's just what your taught but I don't presume what life is like for a noble cause I'm sure it's a lot harder than it looks," Christen said. "And I know the Chantry pushed it down your throat but magic doesn't come from the devil and doesn't make people evil, people make people evil."

"…. What's a 'devil'?" Fey asked after a few moments of silence.