Author's Notes: Ok, I'm getting the impression that some people didn't quite 'get' what this fic is about

Author's Notes: Ok, I'm getting the impression that some people didn't quite 'get' what this fic is about. At first I decided to write a parody of the typical incredibly-badly-written starting out fics people write, but then I decided to try and make the jokes of a higher calibre, so that's what the whole intermission in the middle was about. If you notice any spelling mistakes, grammar mistakes, or anything, they're meant to be there deliberately. This is going to be written as if it is a serious fic, but it will contain elements included in starting out fics, and will exaggerate and mock them.

PLEASE NOTE, THAT THIS IS NOT MY FIRST EVER FIC, AND I AM NOT THAT BAD A WRITER! THIS IS A SATIRE!

Ok, glad we cleared that up. ;-)

And now onto THE ACTUAL FIC.

.......(Sorry if I sound stuck up or condescending, by the way)

Spike smiled at Buffy, his true love, his dark goddess, his ray of hope, his light, his queen, his reason for living, his link to the world.

I think she goes by just "Buffy" now, he noted.

They were packing.

"Apparently I own a suitcase, and enough clothes to put in it." Spike commented. "Oh, by the way I just thought at this point in time I'd mention Pippa is cool. She's a good person who's taken a lot of crap she didn't deserve from a lot of people, and I respect her for that."

Buffy wrinkled her nose.

"What are you talking about?"

"Never mind. Readers, ignore this bit. Damn, this series seems to be flopping."

Buffy stared.

"Riiiiight. Now, on a completely unrelated topic, they can do wonders in mental hospitals nowadays..."

* * *

"Giles we need to stop Buffy and Spike from leaving town. Hmm, how can we do that?" Xander said thoughtfully.

"I know, let's go find Angel! I'm sure bringing an ex of hers to the scene and causing them both maximum emotional pain will somehow make everything turn out for the best." Willow suggested.

Silence.

"Let's make that plan B, shall we?" Giles finally said.

"Kay!!" Willow said cheerfully. She squealed. Xander raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you being so weird? Too much caffeine again?"

"No, but in most starting out fics my character is shown as incredibly hyper, and I usually sound like a 5 year old despite being a borderline-genius."

"Um...oh."

There was another pause.

"So....what are we supposed to be doing again?" Xander asked, searching desperately for something to say.

Giles began to clean his glasses.

"Well, you see, we play a pretty minor role in most starting out fics. Yep, most of the 'screen time' is focusing on Buffy and Spike's developing relationship. In fact, there isn't really much point in us being here. All we do is screw stuff up between them and someway or other earn Buffy's eternal hate."

"Sounds like we've got our job laid out for us then! C'mon guys, let's get workin'! Let's act as if we don't know Buffy at all, and do the obviously worst thing possible in the situation!!!" Willow said ecstatically.

The three got to work.

* * *

"So...where are we going?" Buffy asked Spike, who was driving.

"Anywhere you want, babe." Spike said, smiling. "Well, actually that last part was only said to sound romantic. We're goin' to Texas."

"One question."

"Shoot."

"Why in the hell are we going to goddamn Texas?!"

"For some bizarre reason it's a requirement of a starting out fic. That or New York. Oh yeah, plus you need to apparently 'forget' about your sworn duty. Yep, just completely obliterate it from your memory."

"Ok. Anything else?"

"Yeah...we have to either act really casual together like we aren't even a couple, or be constantly on each other, kissing, groping etc."

"Um...why?"

Spike looked Buffy dead in the eye.

"'Cause it's required, baby." He said dramatically. *cough OVER ACTING! cough*

THE REVIEWER'S THOUGHTS:

From: Zippo

Review: that sucked your pretty gay

From: Liddlepinkflowa

Review: Like, ohmigod, seriously, that was like soooooo good! You should like really be a real writer...like, really!

From: zignzag

Review: WRITE MORE!!!!!! I WANNA SEE WHAT HAPPENS!!!!!!

From: Angelus

Review: ....wtf is this pile of horse crap?? You are seriously disturbed if you think *this* is what the characters are like in the B:tVS world. Basically, you SUCK. Stop writing, please, for the sake of mankind!

Chapter 4 coming....well, it depends whether people actually find this funny or not.