So it turns out my flu was actually a bad ass case of tonsillitis. Should have guessed. I'm just that cool.

Chapter 3: Soc-a crazy

Shunsui was not a happy bunny.

As if he didn't have enough on his plate – what with all the sake that urgently needed drinking and women that desperately needed to be flirted with – but now Nanao was being cold towards him again. To be honest, she never really stopped being cold towards him, but that was beside the point. Shunsui thought things had changed over the past few years. He had thought that now she had finally let him call them a couple – when no one was around, of course – that she might be a little less mean. Sure, he liked the mean. Mean could be fun. Especially the making it up to her bit. But she still refused to say those three little words, even though Shunsui knew she did love him.

It just wasn't fair!

He massaged his temple where a nice new bump was forming after today's onslaught of The Book. He hadn't meant to insult her! He'd only commented in passing conversation that Matsumoto would look good in a swimsuit. It wasn't his fault she took this to mean he thought she wouldn't. Because she would!

Shunsui started laughing disjointedly under his breath as he swaggered down the path, not really paying attention to where he was going. He walked face first into a door.

But there was something else that was bothering him. That something had led him all the way out of his office and away from his secret hidden drawer of sake that under no circumstances could Nanao ever ever find out about. He stood upright and placed his most serious of expressions on his face. He slid open the door with such force that the frame actually shook.

"Jooshiiroooo!"

He glared down at the man kneeling in front of the small table. Joshiro finished reading the paragraph before looking up from his book, a gentle smile on his face.

"Yes?"

Shunsui broke. He ran over to his friend and began wailing uncontrollably into his shoulder.

"Nanao-chan's being mean to me again and isn't letting me touch her boobies and when I ask her why she just says because we're in the middle of a meeting and she doesn't want other members of the division to see that sort of thing but I told her that I didn't mind and she just became even meaner and now won't play kiss chase with me even if we're alone and when I suggested strip tac toe she just stopped talking altogether and it really hurts but she's just a big meanie and I don't want to talk about her and she's always telling me off and making me look bad in front of people but won't let me slap her butt to make up for it and now-" He sniffed "-now Rika-chan tells me I'm not her godfather but you are instead!"

He let out one final giant wail.

Joshiro sighed.

So someone had finally told him.

"I think there might be one of those forms in our office." Momo said thoughtfully with a finger on her chin.

"Thanks, Momo. My captain's gonna go spare if I don't find a copy of it somewhere. He's in a real bad mood at the moment."

"Really? But I've always thought Kuchiki-taicho was such a kind and happy person, Renji?"

Renji almost fell over mid-stride. Byakuya – kind and happy? Something was wrong with this girl's perception radar. Byakuya was the least kind person he knew, except for maybe Mayuri. And he had become especially grumpy lately. Renji swore that he had almost been stabbed yesterday when his captain couldn't find his writing brush. It had turned out to be on his desk the entire time. Something was up there.

"Yeah, so, that form…" Renji reminded a now humming Momo as he rubbed the back of his neck. Momo seemed to wake up and smiled widely at him.

"Of course!" She started humming again as she led the way down the corridor towards her office in the fifth division. Renji felt awkward but knew not to speak to her. Momo acted best when left alone these days. She stopped outside the office door.

"Thanks again, by the way. You're really saving my neck."

Momo opened the door and stepped inside, holding it open for Renji. "No problem!"

Renji entered and glanced around the room. There wasn't anything there out of place, just another plain office.

"What is it?" The person sitting behind the larger of the two desks muttered lazily while staring at some weird screen thing. They were facing Renji so he couldn't see what it was they were watching.

"Just came to get a form." He grumbled.

"…coming up through the middle, and he passes to Stephenson…"

"What are you watching, Kurosaki-taicho?" Momo asked curiously after reaching into a filing cabinet and bringing up a large piece of paper. Ichigo continued staring at the screen in front of him.

"Soccer."

"What's that?" Momo asked. Renji was equally confused. Soc-a? What was that? He'd heard Nemu muttering something about Soc-a-toa, but he thought that was math or something. What was Soc-a? Maybe Ichigo was watching a math lecture.

"… and he slipped it in real good there…"

Renji raised one of his awesomely manly eyebrow tattoos that were in no way freaky. "He slipped what in where?"

"The ball in the box."

"… and Denvers' not going to be happy with that move. Yes, Alan, he's more used to being on top in these situations…"

If Renji had been drinking anything he would have choked. He grabbed Momo's wrist as she made her way around to see what it was Ichigo was so intently looking at. "Momo, don't look at that!"

"Why not?"

"… ooh, and it could have been over so quickly there, but luckily Meris knows when to pull out early…"

"Because it's not good for you!" He turned angrily to Ichigo, eyebrows twitching all the way, "Why are you watching that stuff in here?"

"Because I'm meant to be working." He shrugged in response.

"… and bam! Florenz wasn't expecting him to suddenly enter from behind like that, was he? If he continues like this they might just make it all the way…"

Renji was pretty sure his eyebrows were having epileptic fits about now. This was so wrong. Ichigo knew Momo was of a sensitive nature and yet he does something like this! Renji was about to start screaming and punching when the door opened again. Ichigo didn't even look up.

"Hi, Ichigo, Renji, Momo."

"Hey Rika, what are you doing here?" Ichigo asked, still not looking up.

"… great save by the Argentineans there and Rutherford strikes back with a harsh turn around, taking them by surprise. And would you look at those ball skills…"

"Sent to give you this transfer form regarding Shonigaya." She said and she approached the desk. "Oh, soccer, eh? Anything interesting happen yet?"

"Not you too!" Renji cried as she leant over Ichigo's shoulder to watch the Soc-a as well. This was all too much for him. Ichigo he could understand. But Rika? She seemed nice. A little guarded maybe, but definitely not perverse.

"… what a tackle! Edwards probably won't be walking straight for days!..."

"Ichigo."

Renji spun around on the spot. Another person had just up and appeared in the doorway. Although, on the one hand he was slightly pleased to see this person. Then the other hand swept in and reminded him that this was Ichigo's office.

"Rukia? What the hell are you doing here?" he yelled in distress. Why would she go see him? Why?

"Thought I'd better get out of my division headquarters for a while." She answered as she strolled around the desk. Renji wanted to stop her looking. "Oh, soccer."

Renji almost screamed. Rukia watched these things? Rukia?

"… and that seemed a little risky. No, no, he's going to take the penalty now. This could get messy…"

"Why'd you have to get out of there?" Ichigo asked. Renji just gawked at them all.

"Kyoraku-taichu arrived over there and was busy screaming about how no one loves him and he's not trustworthy enough to have responsibility over someone else's child or something. It was getting quite loud."

Rika stuck her hand up apologetically. "Sorry, that was probably my fault."

"…perfect form there from the young lad. And he's going in deep, arwh, pushed out again…"

"I want to watch!"

Momo had taken her wrist out of Renji's grip when he wasn't paying attention. He tried to grab her shoulder but she was already skipping out of his reach.

"Momo, no!"

Momo peered over Rukia's shoulder. She paused. She blinked.

"Why is he kicking that ball like that?" she finally asked. Renji winced. Kicking what like what?

"Hey, Rukia, didn't you say Toshiro was good at soccer?" Ichigo asked. Rukia whacked him on the head and nodded towards Momo. Renji could have fainted. Not Hitsugaya-taicho. Surely, not.

"What you doing, Carrot-top?"

This time Ichigo looked up. He glared at the woman crouching on his window frame as if she'd had just jumped up there. Renji tried to remind himself that they were on the third floor.

"Yachiru, go away." Ichigo replied before turning back to the screen.

The pink haired menace got down from the window and approached the desk, her new white captain's coat hanging proudly on her shoulders. To say it was now getting crowded in Ichigo's office would have been an understatement. Yachiru looked down at the Soc-a as well and smiled. Well, Renji had expected Yachiru to like something like this. She was that vulgar.

"… and we're approaching the finish now. What's this? Timo's just shot out of nowhere. He's there, he shoots…"

All heads around the screen simultaneously leant to one side and oooh-ed.

"Has anyone seen Matsumoto?"

Renji spun around again. Hitsugaya stood in the doorway, looking pissed.

"Have you tried the Kuchiki house?" Rika asked, still staring at the screen.

"She's not there." Yachiru spoke up. "I've just come from there."

Didn't anyone work around here?

"Great, so no one knows." Hitsugaya sighed.

"… and that's that folks! That's the whistle!..."

"No!" Ichigo yelled and slammed the screen down so it was face down on the desk. He looked up, a furious glint in his eyes. He then seemed to notice just how cramped his office was. "What the hell are you all doing in here?"

No one spoke for a second.

Then they all started explaining in one go why they were there. Ichigo stood up. He was already extremely annoyed that Argentina had lost; now he'd have to pay Ikkaku that money; and now he had a whole crowd of people swarming about in his face!

"Shut up!" he shouted over the din they were making. They all did and looked at him expectantly. "Just get out! Now!"

No one moved.

Finally, Momo spoke up.

"Sorry, Kurosaki-taicho, I'll be going then." She apologised quickly before bowing. Ichigo sighed as she started making her way through the hordes towards the door.

"Not you Momo, this is your office, remember?"

She stopped. "Oh yeah."

"Now," Ichigo continued, "everyone else, out!"

It was an hour later when he finally managed to stop the bickering.

Arikka sat on the wall and yawned loudly.

She was sure she had been put on patrol in the dullest spot of Seireitei, where nothing ever happened, on purpose. It was just because the third seat didn't like her. The new twenty-second seat got a post in a large town in the real world where things actually happened. And she, the eleventh seat, was stuck here.

She hadn't even seen anyone else the entire afternoon. No one came here, mainly because only captains, lieutenants, and those on patrol were allowed to, and it was just so unbelievably boring. Arikka was seriously tempted to just ditch and go find something better to do. But then again, it was only her second day. She should probably wait at least a fortnight until pulling something like that.

She brushed a few of her short black waves out of her eyes and thought maybe it was about time for another circumnavigation. She stood and started drifting down the narrow streets, checking for signs of any non-existent life as she went.

She was reaching her journey's end again when she struck gold.

"Oh, hey!" she greeted them, the surprise clear on her face. The other person frowned at her.

"What are you doing here?"

"On patrol, aren't I?" she answered as she hopped back onto the wall and began swinging her legs back and forth like a child. "Beginning to think there had been a nuclear catastrophe and I had somehow not been informed that I was the last person alive. How about you?"

"I needed to look at some old records." Toshiro told her simply, looking off as if it wasn't important. Arikka knew it must be. Not just any old records were stored here.

"What kind of records?" she asked innocently. Toshiro glanced at her sideways in a way that told her he wasn't fooled. Arikka raised her shoulders and smiled guiltily. "Sorry. Did you find Rangiku by the way?"

His face got even surlier if possible, "Yes."

"Oh." That could not be a good sign.

Toshiro let out an exasperated sigh. "I'll see you around, Kuchiki."

"Sure." Arikka said as Toshiro began walking away to collect his mysterious records. "See you, Hitsugaya-taicho."

Yeah, that chapter really had no purpose except for introducing other characters and showing a little bit of what been going on since we last saw them. Sorry if it weren't that good, but I've now had a fever for 6 days so what do you expect?

The thing with the football commentary is true. My brother's been fanatically watching the world cup and every time I hear any of the commentary I just start laughing. It can all be taken as a double entendre. OMG I spelt that right on my first attempt. Go me.

Let's see if I can come up with a poem today…

So I don't know who you all are
But it seems you're all fans of Bleach
I know that my humour's bizarre
And my ideas can be out of your reach
But I don't think I care
Just as long as you're there
Oh and review, I expect one from you each.