Chapter three

"Come on, Baby, get up. You're going to be late."

Spock jolted awake and instinctively jerked away from Uhura's touch. She had taken this new morning ritual of his personally at first, but she had come to realize that he couldn't help himself. Sitting up Spock hastily brushed away the tear that had slipped down his face. It was always the worst when he first woke up, the unexplained emotional surges. There was never any way to predict what mood he'd be in when he was woken, but it was never good even if he was laughing. It only took a few seconds for him to regain his control, but it was still an irritation for him.

"Spock, have you told anyone about this?" Uhura asked softly.

"No, and I would appreciate it if you continued to remain silent as well."

"Maybe Dr. McCoy coul..."

"He can not help me."

"I think you should try at least talking to him." Uhura pressed.

"No."

"At least tell him how much you have been sleeping lately. I know you've been trying to hide it from me, but I know you're always tired. You sleep so much, but it doesn't seem to help. We never spend any time together anymore, coming off a shift you practically pass out."

"My job is stressful."

"It's more than that." Uhura said stubbornly. "You never smile anymore."

"I am a Vulcan." Spock responded coldly.

"Yeah, I noticed...but you used to show me your human side once in a while."

"Perhaps that was a mistake. This is who I am."

"It's not who you've always been."

"I have learned at great cost that if I do not control my emotional human side it will control me."

"Spock..."

Ignoring Uhura's concern Spock glanced over at the time. "You should have woken me sooner."

"You seemed so peaceful."

"I must be on the bridge in ten minutes."

"I want to talk."

"I do not have time."

"Captain will understand if you're a few minutes late."

"That is unacceptable."

Uhura looked on the verge of tears, but Spock didn't notice. She rubbed at her heavily distended stomach to try and calm the child inside who was kicking at her. Spock threw the sheets off and got out of bed. On his second step towards the washroom he faltered. Uhura jumped up to help him but he drew away from her and forced himself to walk steadily to his destination. Once in the privacy of the small room he turned on the sink full blast.

Using the sound of the running water as cover Spock knelt down and wretched bile tainted with sickly green blood. Feeling better he straightened up and used the running water to wash his face and rinse out his mouth. The random bouts with nausea had begun a few weeks ago. Logic told him that both the stomach problems and the exhaustion were a direct result of the events surrounding the Vulcan black hole. However, where he had once been slowly recovering he now felt that he was slowly starting to lose ground.

Taking a deep breath Spock pushed any fears that his ordeal may be starting all over again to the back of his mind. Opening the medicine cabinet he pulled out a small prescription bottle and swallowed two of the blue pills that it held. His stomach rebelled against the invasion, but he managed to keep the pills down.

Not having time for a shower he changed into his uniform and stepped back into the bedroom. Uhura was waiting for him and stepped up to hug him. Spock did not return the affection and when she continued to hold on to him he took her by the shoulders and pushed her away gently. Uhura looked up at him with a hurt expression.

"Spock, please."

"I am late, the bridge is unattended. We will talk when I return."

"You'll be too tired."

"I must go."

Spock walked past Uhura and went directly for the front door.

"Spock, your walking stick..."

"I do not require it."

Without saying good bye Spock stalked out into the hallway. Walking at a brisk pace he stepped onto the turbo lift. When he turned around to request a floor a mind spinning vertigo caused him to stagger back until he found himself supported by the back wall. His head cleared quickly and he dismissed the event.

Everything was quiet on the bridge. The acting commanding officer had not abandoned his post at shift change. He had waited for Spock to arrive, and only now handed the bridge over to the First Officer. Spock wanted nothing more than the sit down, however, he decided to force himself to make his rounds about the bridge.

Spock's keen eyes scanned over the various readout panels and sensor outputs quickly. With Uhura out on maternity leave for the last month of her pregnancy there was a young Lieutenant replacing her. The Lieutenant assured Spock that sub-space had been quiet. Wandering over to the helm Spock knit his brow together.

"Mr. Sulu?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"What is our current heading?"

"105 mark 10."

"That is not the most direct course to our next mission. In fact, I believe that our current heading not only will add to our travel time, but head us directly into the Romulan Neutral Zone."

"The edge of the Neutral Zone is our destination."

"Under who's order?"

"The Captain's." Sulu replied.

"You are following a direct order?"

"Aye, Sir. Should I change course?"

"No." Spock shook his head slightly. "Carry on."

"Aye, Sir."

Spock went over to the Captain's chair and sat down. Struggling to stay awake he pulled up a random file on the research station they were supposed to be heading towards. He read the report, but only to kill some time. After an hour he got back to his feet. He hadn't wanted the bridge crew to think that he was hunting down the Captain to second guess him so he had put some time between when he discovered that they were heading for the Neutral Zone and when he left the bridge.

"Mr. Sulu, you have the con. I will return shortly."

"Aye, Sir."

Spock went down to Kirk's quarters, but he wasn't there. Before hailing the Captain he had a few places he knew to look. The first one was always sick bay. This time Spock found his prey. Kirk was chatting with McCoy in a conversational tone while the doctor filled out some medical records.

"Captain." Spock announced his arrival.

"Wake up late, Spock?" Kirk teased. "I see a hair out of place, I don't think I've ever seen that before."

Spock did not grace the Captain's question with an answer. He just stared at him in stony silence.

"Shouldn't you be on the bridge?" Kirk asked to break the sudden tension.

"Indeed, however, I was hoping to talk to you."

"Alright. I assume 'in private'."

"That would be preferable." Spock nodded.

"Spock," McCoy said "did you sleep last night? You look exhausted."

"I am fine, Doctor."

"That doesn't really answer my question."

"Captain, please, if I may speak with you now so that I may return to the bridge..."

"Okay. I wanted to talk to you as well, so I guess it works out."

Kirk pushed himself away from McCoy's desk which he had been leaning on. Spock followed a few paces behind Kirk as they made their way to his quarters. Spock no longer walked with his hands held behind his back in case he needed them at a moments notice to save his balance. His step faltered a few times, but he was able to use the wall to keep himself on his feet. Walking out in front Kirk didn't notice the slight stumbling of his friend.

Once inside the Captain's quarters Spock thought about taking a seat. Dismissing the desire to rest Spock turned to Kirk to face him. Kirk smiled awkwardly and crossed his arms over his chest, tucking his right hand under his arm.

"Look, Spock, about last night. I owe you an apology."

"That is not why I am here, Captain."

"I was more than a little drunk when I said what I said." Kirk continued. "I didn't mean it, I was angry at Starfleet not you."

"I am fascinated by humans and their tendency to blame outside forces for their actions."

"Human nature I guess."

"Were you 'more than a little drunk' when you changed the ship's course to the Romulan Neutral Zone?"

"Spock, if I didn't know you better I'd say that was a sarcastic stab at me."

"I am serious Captain. Did you instruct Mr. Sulu to change our course?"

"Yes."

"May I inquire as to why?"

"Intuition." Kirk replied instantly.

"Captain, in the past I have praised your intuition." Spock said evenly. "However in this instance I believe it is unwise to follow it."

"What makes you say that?"

"You need to distance yourself from the Romulans. War may be on the horizon, you should not give anyone reason to second guess your motives."

"Does that include you?"

"I am your First Officer, it is my job to advise you, so I am advising you."

"Sounds more like a threat."

"I assure you it is not."

Spock watched as Kirk shifted his weight forward, something he did when he was about to attack. Kirk noticed that Spock stood up slightly straighter, something he did when he was preparing to defend himself. Realizing what what happening Kirk chuckled hollowly and dragged his hands through his hair.

"Spock, I think we've been out here a little to long. I'm not used to going this long without at least a day of shore leave."

"The entire crew is becoming strained."

"When we get done with this Space-forsaken research station I'm going to demand to Starfleet that we be allowed to return to Earth for some time off. I'll have Scotty break something that only Earth can fix if I have to."

"Does this mean you will change course away from the Neutral Zone?"

Kirk hesitated to answer. Without realizing it he began scratching at his palm. Spock noticed the irritated red hue to the skin on Kirk's hand and the speckles of blood, but said nothing about them. Kirk saw that Spock was looking at his hands and put them behind his back.

"I am not under the control of the Romulans." Kirk said defensively.

"I never suggested that you were. I am only asking you to stay on the mission that Starfleet has entrusted us with."

Kirk stared Spock at for a moment, but realized quickly that the Vulcan wasn't about to back down. Spock was devoting more and more effort and energy into just remaining awake. Kirk suddenly nodded and turned towards the intercom.

"Mr. Sulu?"

"Aye, Sir?"

"Put us on the most direct course for the research station on Delharbor 7."

"Aye, Sir."

Kirk clicked the intercom off and looked back at Spock.

"Thank you, Captain."

"What good is an advisor, if I don't listen to his advice?"

"Logical."

"I thought so." Kirk looked Spock over. "Go take a nap, in fact take the rest of the day off."

"Captain?"

"Don't give me that. It doesn't take a doctor to see your exhausted. We are still a day's travel away from the research station. This ship is not going to fall apart if you're not on the bridge for one shift. Go get some sleep."

"Thank you, Jim."

"Anytime. And for what it's worth I really am sorry for what I said."

Spock nodded and headed for the door. He started walking towards his own quarters, but decided against it. Traveling up a few floors he sought out the privacy of a vacant VIP room. The lights came on automatically when he stepped inside but he quickly shut them off. Laying down on top of the covers of the soft bed he was asleep in seconds.