The phone rang only once before he picked up.

"Cinder?"

She took a steadying breath.

"Hey, Kai." She winced at how gravely her voice sounded, but she couldn't cover it up. Not this time. "I'm sorry for not coming to the library. I forgot. Can I make it up to you?"

There was a pause, and Cinder tapped her fingers on her leg. Her body was still shaking, but her cheeks were now dry.

"Are you okay?"

Cinder stiffened.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just been a long day."

"Your voice..."

"I had to take the counter for a few hours, so my throat is sore."

There was another pause.

"Are you absolutely sure you're okay?"

"If you keep asking, you run the risk of me telling the truth." Cinder laughed, but it sounded false, even to her own ears.

"Where are you now?"

"My apartment. Why?"

"I'm at the library. How far is the drive?"

"About twenty minutes. But why are you..."

"I'm just worried, that's all. I...know what it's like to be in an apartment alone. When you're having a bad day." He broke off awkwardly.

Cinder breathed deeply. She watched her hands shake. She didn't know if Kai could help or what he would say when he saw the state she was in. She knew she looked bad, but he'd already seen her earlier that day when she looked two-thirds as bad. And he hadn't shied away.

She knew the moment she put the phone down, the moment she was once again alone, the moment she no longer had to pretend she was okay, it would come rushing back. All of it.

And for once in her life, she decided that was not okay.

"It's a twenty-minute drive. I'm at 435 Olive street, apartment 8. Just text me when you get here and I can let you in."

"Alright, got it."

"And um...thank you." She hoped he could hear how truly thankful she was, that this was the first time someone had done this for her because it was the first time she was allowing it.

She hated feeling weak in front of people. Even Thorne had only seen her cry once or twice, and Iko only when they were younger.

But maybe letting people see your weakness made you strong.

By the time Kai was there, Cinder had stopped shaking. She washed her cheeks and combed her hair back into a ponytail. She looked almost normal if one didn't look at the whites of her eyes or the bags underneath them. She still felt shivery, though, even if she wasn't shaking. If wind somehow found its way into her apartment, it would blow her away.

Kaito Huang 1m ago

I'm here

She found Kai standing at the front gate, breath puffing out in front of him. Nights were cold in the winter, even if it didn't snow.

As she moved to turn the handle, it struck her how weird this was. Until then, they'd only seen each other at the cafe. They chatted at lunch, but their topics were mundane. Most of their relationship was work, if you could call it a relationship at all.

Yet here he was, standing at the front gate of her apartment, waiting in the cold for her to let him in because he was worried about her. "Hey. Sorry for making you wait."

He walked in, rubbing his hands together for warmth. "It's fine, I'm...sorry if I pressured you into anything earlier."

She tilted her head.

"What?"

"I've been thinking, you probably didn't want to go to the library. I should have known you'd be tired, but I asked you anyway. I'm sorry if that put pressure on you."

But...wasn't it her fault for agreeing? For not following through?

"It's fine."

Cinder only remembered how messy her apartment was the moment she stepped inside. It wasn't college student messy—there were no papers or clothes or instant food containers lying on the floor.

Rather, it was the mess of a mechanic.

She pushed some assorted parts to the side and shimmied the tool box out of the way.

"I'm sorry for the mess." Her cheeks were warm with embarrassment, but when she looked at Kai he seemed more fascinated than anything. He picked up a small wind up toy and played with it in his hands.

"Did you make this?"

"Um, no, I'm just fixing it."

He wound it up and put it on the floor. It didn't move. "Ah."

"Yeah, I'm a mechanic. There's this place down the street...anyway, I'll just clear the coffee table and I can get you something warm to drink?"

Her current project was on the table, a car engine her boss claimed was unfixable. She liked those kinds of projects, the ones that were supposed to be impossible.

She figured if she could fix those, she could fix other things too. Like herself.

She carefully moved it to a corner of her room and walked into the mini-kitchen.

"Tea? Hot chocolate?"

"I'll have tea, thank you."

Cinder's heart pounded. There was a boy in her apartment. And he wasn't Thorne. What had she been thinking?

Stop. Thinking. About. Thorne.

When she returned to sit on the floor across from him, he had found another toy to amuse himself with.

"This explains why you smell like mechanic grease some mornings," Kai mused, pushing the metal arm up and down.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh." He looked up. "That wasn't an insult. It's not a bad smell."

"A lot of people would disagree with you."

"And you...?"

Cinder smiled into her tea. "It's just another extension of me. I work at a coffee shop but the smell still doesn't come off."

Kai hummed and set down the toy. He took his tea and blew on it, then sipped it.

"How are you good at everything," he said, taking a second, longer sip. "This is really good."

"I've just had a lot of time to perfect it. I don't like coffee that much, after all."

Kai nodded. "I always thought that was weird, considering you make it so well. You're like the Beethoven of coffee makers."

"Wow, it sounds so cool when you say it that way."

"That's because you're—" He set his mug down. "—A cool person." He made finger guns and Cinder laughed.

"Thanks for the confidence boost."

They fell once more into silence. Cinder remembered why he came, and Kai must have too, because there was a new tension in the room only broken by their tea sipping.

"So um..." Kai said, putting his mug down on the table. "What's going on?"

Cinder stared at her now-empty cup of tea. How much did she want to tell him?

"I mean, it's fine if you don't tell me. Just thought you might want to share."

"Yeah, I'm just...collecting my thoughts. I'm sorry if I vent too much, this is pretty new to me."

Kai smiled. "Don't worry. It's hard to bore me."

"Business meetings and stuff, right?"

"Yeah. That about sums my life up, not to mention long lectures after lunch."

"I have pretty steep competition then."

"I wouldn't worry if I were you."

This couldn't be that hard, right? She was just sharing her life story with an almost complete stranger.

"So, um, my parents adopted Iko when I was seven. She's from Brazil, so she taught me Portuguese in exchange for me teaching her English. It was just fun and games, you know, until my dad passed away."

Cinder paused, and Kai nodded for her to continue. His eyebrows were scrunched together.

"We were eight years old. I'd never been particularly close to him or Adri—my mother—but his death seemed like the last straw for her. She exploded. She was faced with being a single mom with four children, and she was afraid and scared and didn't know what to do. I guess she thought things would be easier if she only had two daughters, so she started pretending like Iko and I weren't hers. As if we merely existed to serve her. Portuguese became our lifeline since Adri couldn't understand it."

Cinder tried to take a sip of tea before remembering her mug was empty. Kai pushed his mug over, and she took the last gulp of his tea with a nod of thanks.

"I was pretty lonely in school since Adri refused to buy me new clothing or shoes and such. I looked shabby, so the only person who stood by me was Iko. Until high school when I met Thorne." Cinder gulped.

"Wait. My roommate is named Thorne."

Cinder looked away. "Yeah. I know."

"And..."

"...Do you understand why I wanted some distance between us now?"

Kai leaned back. "Something happen between you two?"

"Yeah. We were best friends...until last night. He was my only friend, you know, besides Iko." Cinder raised her head to the ceiling, hoping her tears would stay in her eyes.

Kai nodded. He seemed to be thinking about something, but instead of speaking he stood and pulled her up by the hand.

Then he hugged her.

"I wish there was something I could do to help," he said, rubbing her back.

Cinder stiffened, but when Kai moved to pull away she wrapped her arms around him tighter.

"You already have."

They stood there, drinking in each other's warmth until there was a knock at the door. Their heads swiveled, but they had no time to process what was going on before they heard the door open.

Thorne stood in the doorway, key still dangling in his hands, eyes drinking in the scene. Cinder pushed Kai away from herself, and Kai backed away slowly, unsure of what was going on.

No. Not this. Just when she thought she might be on her way to her happily ever after—

"Well, well, well," Thorne said, cocking his head. "Looks like you're over me already."