If my heart was a house...
Chapter 1: The One? (27.1.12)
Chapter 2: The Date! (29.1.12)
Chapter 3: Meeting the family (21.3.12)
Chapter 4: Is it ever this easy?
Chapter 5: Long story short
Chapter 6:Oh Baby...
Chapter 7: Coming home
Chapter 8: Cuz' I can
Chapter 9: Road trip
Chapter 10: Fighting for you
Chapter 11: The big question
Chapter 12: Wait a little longer
Chapter 13: Breakthrough
Chapter 14: It's a...
Chapter 15: What you do to me
Chapter 16: Vacation
Chapter 17: Jealousy
Chapter 18: You ARE the one!
Chapter 19: What's mine isn't yours!
Chapter 20: Happy End?
Chapter 21: you'd be home!
Chapter 3: Meeting the family (21.3.12)
After eating we all hang around the living room and listened to music. It was actually relaxing but I was still really nervous. I couldn't help it. And the weird glances I got didn't help me either. The guys had called their women and now we were a reaaaallly big group. Too big for my liking.
"So Olivia...tell us more about yourself." Jackson's girlfriend said.
"Uhm...well there isn't much to say about me."
"Please baby. There is so much! She moved here from Germany. All alone!" Ben said
"Really? How come?"
"I needed a change. So after my graduation I packed my stuff and my best friend and we moved down here. I started working for a close friend."
"What do you do?"
"I'm a support worker."
"Care to explain?" damn those girlfriends
"Well I'm working with people who have a disability. I used to work for my friend in a Center but I soon quit and now I work as a free assistant. I'm helping them live a normal live and support them in every day situations. I have a lot of kids to assist but also grown ups. I go shopping with them, do housing stuff, go to the doctors, help them in financial situations and work with them to keep their abilities up."
"Wow, that sound interesting!" Jerad said,
„But it's probably really hard! What do you mean with keeping their abilities up?"
"It is hard. Most of them have had a totally normal life until an accident changed that. I basically just motivate them to do as much by themselves as they can. I assist them but I don't do stuff for them. And I try to train them. Help them walk again or use their hands. Stuff like that."
We talked a little while longer but I soon couldn't just sit there and let the death stares kill me so I got up and started to clean up all the mess we made.
I was totally into cleaning when I heard the girls behind me.
"We need to talk." Jerad's wife said
"OK."
"We don't think it's a good idea that you're dating Ben."
"Oh. OK. Sure." what else can you say? I nodded and dried my hands on the towel.
"You're probably a nice girl but you and Ben juts wouldn't work. He's too much in the spotlight right now and he needs to work on this. He's still so young and should have fun and not settle for something because its there! And we really don't think you fit into our group. And you really don't fit with Ben. Not your personality or your looks. So its better if you go home and leave him alone got it?"
"Yes. I'll just grab my stuff and go." Don't cry now! You know they are right!
"Good."
They all left and I was standing there trying not to cry. I looked at the kitchen and was glad everything was done.
The guys were laughing in the living room while the girls were outside. I saw Ben looking at me and smiling. I would miss it. Totally. I smiled back and went to go to the bathroom. At least I acted that way. When they weren't looking I changed direction and headed straight for the front door. Better leave now than later. I would find a place to stay. And Ben would forget me.
But just as I was about to open the door
"Liv? Baby where are you going?" Ben called.
"I..."
"Baby whats up?" don't come closer please! "Liv you're crying! Whats wrong? Come on tell me! Did I do something wrong?" Ben was pleading with me.
"No! Oh god no! How can you do something wrong? You're perfect Ben. It's me! I'm totally wrong for you and I should go."
"Please don't. You're not wrong. You think I'm perfect? Please! I'm not. If anyone is perfect it's you! What makes you think you're wrong baby?"
He pulled me into him, hugged me tight and than pushed me back a little. He kissed my forehead while his hands held my face and he made me look up at him.
"They are right. I just don't fit. You deserve better than me. Someone who is beautiful and smart and fun. Who knows your job and who your friends would like!"
"But you are all those things! What made you think otherwise?"
"The girls. They told me. And I believe they are right!"
I couldn't stop the tears from falling anymore. I let the first one slip from my eye and than I couldn't stop. Ben was watching me. Also with tears in his eyes as he brushed mine away.
"They said you don't fit?"
I could only nod. I knew he was going to realize it. It was only a question of a few moments. But what really shocked me was his reaction. He brushed my tears away, gave me a kiss and stormed away. Right to the girls. He ripped open the doors and started screaming.
"Who do you think you are? What right do you have to go to my girl and tell her she doesn't fit? Are you fucking out of your mind? This woman inside there is the most amazing thing on earth. And I don't know why but somehow I was lucky to meet her and I am even more lucky that she likes me and wants to spend time with me and you go and tell her stuff that isn't true! You don't know her. All you've been doing is giving her stupid looks and questions or comments. And you don't really know me! But yet you still think you have the right to make my girl feel like shit! I swear if you ever come near her again or even talk to her left alone tell her something stupid like this I will make sure you life is a living hell! You got this?"
I stood there listing and suddenly it hit me. He was defending me! I stormed after him and grabbed his arm.
"Ben stop this! I'm not worth all this so just leave them alone. They just said the truth!"
He turned to me and the look he was giving me was actually scaring me. "Go upstairs to my room. Now." He turned me around and pushed me to the stairs and I was actually scared, what was he gonna do to me?
He slammed the door shut behind him and I stood there in the middle of his room trembling, totally scared of what he'd may do.
"I'm really sorry Ben!"
"You should be! Never say you aren't worth anything I do. Because you are! You don't see yourself like I do but I will make sure that one day you will. I will show you how amazing you are! Everything they said isn't true. You fit so perfectly and I really like you. I could promise you the world but I know it would be too soon. But I want you to know that you are perfect for me. And when the time is right I will make sure you never leave me again. I will make you as happy as one person can be. Just say the word and I'll give you everything. For so long I've been looking for you and now that I've found you I won't ever let you go again."
He took a step closer to me and I instantly took a step back. Still scared of what he might do.
"Don't be afraid of me baby. You never have to fear me. I will never hurt you. All that you will ever feel with me is gentleness. I promise you this."
I took a deep breath and tried to relax as he took another step towards me and when his arms encircled me I instantly relaxed.
This was not how I had planned this evening. But somehow it showed me just how amazing Ben truly is. How mow I could trust him.
I don't know how long we stood like this or how long I've been crying but it seemed like hours. I just breathed in his scent and it was the most relaxing thing in the world.
When we heard a soft knock on the door we parted and Ben wiped away my tears, gave me a kiss and a smile and went to answer the door. I heard him talking with Jackson and went to sit down on the bed. The night had definitely worn me out. I rested my head on his bed and closed my eyes listening to his deep voice. I couldn't understand what they were saying but just the fact that he was talking was relaxing me.
I moment later I felt the bed shift and an arm being draped around me. When I opened my eyes I saw Ben propped up on one elbow and smiling down at me.
"Are you tired?" he whispered.
"I'm not sure. My emotions are all over the place. I'm exhausted but I know I wouldn't get any sleep now." I sighed.
My biggest problem? I couldn't get my mind to shut up. And when I tried to get any sleep after a night like this I would fail. I would fall asleep and wake up a second later.
"That's OK. If you want to we can just lay down and I don't know listen to music or watch a movie or talk or..."
"Shut up." I smiled and gave him a light kiss.
"OK"
"I don't have anything to sleep in." I said after a while. Ben's hand was slowly stroking my stomach while he watched me. Even with my eyes closed I knew he was watching me.
"I'll give you a shirt. Don't worry. Would you like to change?"
"Somehow yes. If it doesn't bother you!"
"Of course baby. Just stay here." he kissed my forehead and got up.
He gave me a shirt that was way to big and some pants that I didn't even try on. The shirt went all the way down to my knees. When I came back from the bathroom he was already on the bed and was watching some show. He was laughing quietly and he looked so beautiful at the moment. When he noticed me he pulled the blanket up and smiled at me.
"Come on in. There's still enough room for little you"
I blushed and rushed over to the bed, slipped under the covers and leaned against his chest. He draped he arm around me and sighed.
"What are you watching?"
"The Walking Dead"
"Oh. Cool"
I closed my eyes and just lay against him until something occurred to me.
"What did you and Jackson talk about?"
"He wanted to know if you were alright. And he told me that everyone left. I told him I would explain everything tomorrow." When he said that his arm tightened around me. "I think maybe we should tell them."
"Tell them what?"
"A little of what happened to you."
"I can't Ben. You only know a little of what happened. The story is not nice,"
"I know baby. And one day I hope you can tell me everything that happened but for now I just want them to know that something has happened to you. No details. Just basic information."
"Is that all?"
"I just don't want them to wonder you know. I know its not easy for you and you don't have to tell them everything. But we are a pretty open group. We talk about everything."
"I'll think about it OK?"
"That's totally fine. No one will pressure you to do this. I just want you to know that they will understand. They will help. And I can assure you that the girls will have a lot to answer tonight. We don't let this happen without consequences."
"OK"
I turned onto my side and a second later the TV went off and Ben cuddled up behind me. I closed my eyes and let another tear fall. They wouldn't understand, How could they? No one ever did. And maybe Ben just wanted me to tell them because he couldn't either. Maybe he couldn't even handle this situation and was just looking for a way out.
"What's going on in that head?"
"I'm afraid that when I tell them they won't understand. I'm afraid you don't understand and that you just look for a way to get rid of me."
"Its not that. I just...I really like you. I want them to know. I want them to understand. I want them to realize why I feel so protective about you. You don't have to be afraid of anything. They will support you. They are so happy. For me. For us. And nothing that we talk about will ever be turned against you."
"I just have to think about this. Give me the night."
"You get all the time you want. Just think about it. But not tonight. Sleep now. You're safe in my arms. I will never let anything hurt." He kissed my shoulder and pulled me a little more against him and I knew he was right. I was safe.
Soooo this is it for today. Sorry for the delay but I had a problem with my computer. I hope you guys like it and I'm probably gonna post the next chapter on Friday. So don't worry everything will work out ;)
Love and hugs