Disclaimer: I own nothing that has anything to do with NCIS or the characters, unless you count the DVDs. This is just for fun.
Thank you for the reviews! I hope you enjoy this fic
Present time
After hearing that advice, Tony and Ziva left, furious with the doctor, unable to even think that Ziva wouldn't survive this illness.
They had sought out another doctor, well known for pursuing aggressive treatments, Dr James Lawson, he had been literally a life-saver, and had bought them precious years.
20th of June 2030
This time they had left the children with Abby, they shouldn't have to hear all this. Dr Lawson's attitude was so different to the last doctor's, he told them about options, ways to treat the cancer, to try to beat it, buy them time together.
There were standard treatment protocols for stage 3A liver cancer, it had already begun to spread, and Dr Lawson made sure that they understood that Ziva's life was in danger, but then he explained about more radical treatments that he used.
Removing the lobe of her liver where the cancer cells were, trying to get rid of as much of the cancer as they could, in the hope that it would make the chemotherapy more effective.
Radiation treatments used alongside more intensive chemotherapy that would be delivered directly into the liver, specifically targeting the cancer cells, while protecting other healthy cells in the body. Ziva never even lost her hair; it thinned at times, but never fell out completely.
After that appointment everything happened very quickly, Ziva was admitted to the hospital that day, and was scheduled for surgery the next day.
Tony stayed at the hospital with Ziva around the clock. Between Gibbs and Abby the kids always had somewhere to stay, Ziva didn't want the children to see her unwell, she knew they would, but she wanted to protect them as much as she could, and everyone understood that.
11th of July 2030
Ziva began chemotherapy just weeks after surgery. She had had a catheter placed into her liver to deliver the chemotherapy when she had been in surgery.
Tony was there with her through the treatment, as the chemotherapeutic drugs ran into her body, as she got sick, throwing up, getting chills, feeling truly terrible.
Tony and Ziva both wondered if they were doing the right thing, putting her through the treatment, but thinking of their family, they knew that Ziva had too much to live for, she was too young for them to let her just die.
Present time
If it wasn't for that doctor, Ziva would have died that year, but as it was, Ziva had eight good years, she and Tony celebrated their twentieth wedding anniversary, she'd seen birthdays, all her children's graduations from high school and one from college, the birth of her only grandchild, she was there for Tony when Gibbs suffered a stroke and was left a shadow of his former self.
Tony would be forever grateful to the doctor who had given them those years, but now it was coming to an end, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, prolong it maybe, but that wasn't what she wanted, and he felt obligated to carry out her final wishes.
8th of April 2039
Ziva and Tony were sitting outside, on the deck at the back of their home, overlooking the swimming pool their kids spent every summer in, the playground where Susie fell and broke her wrist, the lawn that had been set up for many years as a soccer field for Ben.
10th of July 2025
Ziva and Tony were sitting up on the deck, watching as their kids played in the backyard, it was nearly six in the evening, and most nights they would have gone inside by now. But on this day Ben had had soccer practice at school, and all he wanted to do was practice, he was good, and Ziva and Tony were more than happy to encourage him, Tony had even set up a practice goal with a small trampoline he had tipped up.
While Ben kicked the soccer ball around, Miriam and Susie played in the sandpit, seeing who could build the biggest castle.
8th of April 2039
It felt so much like every time they had sat in this same spot that it hurt. It felt just like when they had sat there watching their children play, but it wasn't the same. Ziva was now using a wheelchair, she could only walk about ten feet, the doctors were prescribing her more and more morphine to control her pain, her liver was being destroyed by the cancer, failing, she was near the end.
Tony wasn't coping, he had taken care of Ziva, managed her illness for nine years, and he couldn't bear the thought that she would die, she would die very soon.
Ziva had come to terms with the reality of her situation, she was ready to die. Of course Ziva wished that things had been different, but they weren't, and she had been sick for a long time, and all she wanted now was to make sure her loved ones would be alright, and then die, for the pain to finally stop, to be at peace.
"There's a program down in Florida, I was reading about it online last night, I called but I only got the answering machine."
"No Tony, no more treatments."
"But it could give you more time, us more time. Please Ziva."
Staring out at the garden, Ziva told Tony, "I want... I want it to be, I do not want it to be any longer, I do not want to live anymore. We have had a good life together, we have three beautiful children, and I love you more than words can say, but I am going to die, and I do not want to be in pain anymore."
Tony knew the pain his wife was suffering, and he understood why she didn't want to keep fighting it, but it didn't make it any easier for him.
The pain was excruciating, exhausting. Some days Ziva didn't get out of bed, it was a rarity that she was outside, sometimes there would be days where she wouldn't even speak.
Ziva took a minute, before she turned her wheelchair to allow herself to face Tony, and in a rare show of emotion, she took his hands, and smiling at him sadly, she said, "I am going to die soon, Tony. You know that, I know that, we have known it was coming for a long time. Please let me go."
Tony was silent for a long time. He loved Ziva, he had been in love with her since the day he met her, and he wasn't ready to let her go, in his heart he knew he never would be, whether it was tomorrow or in thirty years, he would never be ready.
Ziva was the mother of Tony's children, the grandmother of his only grandchild. He hated the idea that his children, as 'grown up' as they may now be, would no longer have their mother.
She was only fifty-seven years old, too young, they were supposed to have so much more time.
It may have been a miracle that she had lived as long as she had, but he wanted longer, he would always want longer.
But now, now was the time to be with his wife, to value the time they had left, to prepare his children, to take care of Ziva, as she had taken care of him, of their children for so many years.
"Okay."
"Thank you. I love you, Tony."
With tears in his eyes, Tony replied, "I love you too, Ziva. I love you."
Miriam came around that evening to give her father some respite time. She was a loving, sweet girl, who in spite of everything she knew and had seen had kept her child-like innocence.
Being the baby of the family had led to her being very close to her parents, and she was taking her mother's illness hard, but she also felt an obligation to help out as much as she could, that was a large part of her reasoning to attend a local university.
Tony met his youngest daughter warmly, embracing her in a bear hug as she came through the door.
"Hi sweetheart, thanks for coming over. How's everything?"
"Really good, I've got exams coming up, so I have loads of study to do, but that's all good," Miriam brightly told her father, her tone then turned solemn, as she asked, "How's Mom?"
"Not great. She had a good day, but she's tired, she's sleeping in the lounge chair."
Tears began to brim in Miriam's eyes. "What did Dr Lawson say?"
"A couple of months, maybe less. Are you sure you're alright to stay here while I go to see Uncle Jethro?" To this day it still felt awkward to Tony to call Gibbs that, but to the kids that was who he was, Uncle Jethro.
Miriam forced a smile, but it didn't hide her emotional pain in the least, as she told her father, "I'll manage, Clare's going to come around." Clare, Abby's daughter, and Miriam had been best friends since childhood, and through Ziva's illness, Clare had given Miriam much comfort. "You go, I'll call if there's a problem. Say hi to Uncle Jethro for me."
"Always. I'll be back before nine."
9th of July, 2023
It had become a regular event since the births of the children that everyone would gather for a barbeque at one of their houses. That Sunday it had been Abby's turn to host the gathering.
Abby had changed a lot since the old days, being a mom changed her, she had kept elements of her gothic look, along with the personality. She still dyed her hair black, but it was usually styled a simple plait or bun, she still had her tattoos of course and she wore them with pride, but she would now dress more conservatively, black pants or jeans and a relatively plain top, especially if she was going to Clare's school, or taking her for a play date.
Gibbs as always went early to help Abby with the preparations and entertaining Abby and Tim's six year old daughter, Clare. He had always been protective of Abby, and when she lost her best friend and lover, the father of her child, Gibbs stepped up to help her through the trying time.
Gibbs was standing at the barbeque, turning the steaks when Tony and Ziva arrived with their kids in tow, and suddenly Gibbs found himself being tackled by three over energised children. "Uncle Jethro!"
Laughing, Gibbs crouched down to their level as he greeted each of the children. He had come a long way from the man he had been years ago, he still missed Shannon and Kelly, but he had allowed himself to find happiness with his colleagues and their children.
They sat down to eat the massive array of food at a large wooden outdoor setting, laughing and talking, having a good time, they weren't just colleagues anymore. They were a family.
Present time
The world didn't just stop because Ziva was sick, she kept working, raising her family, spending time with her friends.
Some days the treatments would make her so sick that she could barely get out of bed, but even then she kept going, at work Gibbs and Tony would force her to stay in the office if she was having a bad day, they would bring her drinks and make sure that she remembered to take her pills.
The kids were great about her illness, fourteen year old Susie really stepped up to take care of Miriam and Ben, make their lunches, walk Miriam to school before going to school herself, as well as doing a lot of the household chores, washing dishes, washing and ironing clothes, cleaning the house. It was essential that the house was thoroughly cleaned every week, the bathrooms every day, especially when Ziva's immune system was weakened by the chemotherapy, even a cold could be life threatening.
And on the frequent occasions when Ziva was hospitalized and Tony would stay at the hospital with her, Susie kept the household running in her parents absence.
After the stroke Tony, Ziva and Abby had been the ones who had been left with the task of finding a suitable nursing facility for their former boss and mentor.
It hadn't been an easy decision for them to put Gibbs into a nursing home, but he hadn't wanted to burden them, and quite frankly they all had enough on their plates.
After a week of searching they settled on Rock Creek Manor, a centre well known to have a very high standard of care. He deserved no less.
25th of September, 2039
It still hurt DiNozzo to visit his ailing, eighty-three year old mentor. But despite his failing health, Gibbs still had a formidable presence, and while his body had failed him, his mind was as sharp as ever.
And with Ziva so ill, it helped Tony to go see Gibbs, and just talk.
Gibbs was sitting in a chair by his window when Tony arrived, and as he entered the room, Tony greeted Gibbs, "Hey boss, just me." Tony made his way over to another chair opposite Gibbs, before he asked, "How're you doing? They feeding you well?"
Gibbs laughed in mirth, before answering, "I'm doing as well as I can be, DiNozzo, nothing's changed." It didn't take a genius to know why Tony had been visiting so often in past months, but never discussing Ziva, and on that day, Gibbs finally brought it up, bluntly asking, "How long does Ziva have?"
Tony was surprised, but in retrospect he would wonder why, of course Gibbs had figured it out. He paused for some time, and he couldn't even bring himself to look Gibbs in the eye, instead staring out the window as he told him, "A week, maybe. She's very ill."
The confirmation of his suspicion upset Gibbs, of course he knew that Ziva had been suffering from cancer, but she had been working until just weeks before he suffered the stroke, and part of him had been denying that someone so strong and determined could be taken down by cancer, of everything that she had faced, cancer had come out of the right field and thrown everyone. "We knew it was coming."
"I know, Gibbs, but you haven't seen her." Tony ran his hand through his peppered grey hair. "She's so sick, she can't even get out of bed by herself, I have to dress her, help her take a shower, use the toilet, every time I find a food that she'll still eat, she gets less interested in eating, yesterday she only ate one bite of a piece of toast, plain toast, and that was it, and you know what's worse? That's the most she's eaten all week."
"How're the kids taking it? Abby?"
"Abby comes to visit a few times a week, Ben's come to visit a couple of times, but his study keeps him so busy, Susie has been here with Mikey more than she's been in New York, and of course Mira is around as much as she can be, she's at home now, sitting with Ziva."
"How're you taking it?"
"Fine," Tony replied automatically.
But Gibbs knew him better than to believe that. "You look like crap, DiNozzo. Quit lying, how are you doing?"
And that was it, the floodgates opened. Every emotion, every feeling that he had suppressed came to the surface, and Tony cried, he cried for Ziva, for his kids, for everything that he hadn't allowed himself to feel. Gibbs just kept his hand on Tony's knee as he cried, he knew that Tony just needed time, and he was going to give it.
To Be Continued...