Author's Notes: I'm not really sure where this fanfic is going. I guess you could say this is a writing experiment for me; to see how Gourry would react to finding out Sylphiel's true feelings. I'm sure L/G fans are crying foul over this one on its' out of characterness. Maybe it is maybe it isn't. I feel for L/G fans, it's hard to write romantic fics about Gourry where he's still in character. So even though I don't support L/G, I support L/G fans' writing efforts and anyone that dares to write a romantic fic centered around Gourry. ^^

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A Letter to Gourry

Part Three, Pondering

By Relm

Gourry was apprehensive as he walked the halls of Sailune Castle. Dinner would be soon and he had been chosen to go fetch Sylphiel. Ordinarily a simple task as fetching someone for dinner wouldn't be such a difficult thing to do. But on that day it was one that filled Gourry with much uncertainty.

The last time Gourry had been in Sylphiel's room he had read that letter that he shouldn't have read. It was addressed to him but clearly Sylphiel hadn't intended to read it. He never should have read it, nor should he have even been in her room in the first place. You were invited to go into a lady's room not enter it like you owned the place.

Gourry paced back and forth up and down the halls as he tried to get the nerve to knock on the door. His knuckle would get within inches of the painted wooden door before he snatched it back.

There were several things that Gourry was afraid of at that moment. If he went into her room would she see the guilt on his face? Would she know that he had been there before? That he had gone through her things? Would she see this on his face?

And knowing her feelings could he trust his own actions? Being alone with a pretty woman that loved him in her own bedroom... What would any guy do in this sort of situation?

Gourry wasn't just any guy he was supposed to be an honourable guy that didn't easily give into temptation. But those guys don't go into rooms they shouldn't or go through things that didn't belong to them.

As conflicted as Gourry's mind and heart were at that moment there was still one force that trumped all. His stomach. It rumbled demanding to be heard. Dinner was soon and it wanted food. And it wouldn't get food if Gourry hung around the halls forever.

Timidly Gourry knocked on the door. He waited impatiently for a response on the other side of the door. But after a few moments he realized perhaps he had knocked too lightly. So he knocked harder then harder hoping to get a response from Sylphiel inside her room.

But Gourry got no answer.

In this sort of situation a person had two options. One, walk away and just go to dinner. Or two slowly open the door and investigate. Though option one seemed very tempting Gourry knew that he had to go with option number two. The likelihood that something bad had happened to Sylphiel was very unlikely but he still had to check. Plus Gourry knew that if he came to dinner without Sylphiel he would get into big trouble with Amelia. She wouldn't let eat until he went and got Sylphiel. So really Gourry was left with little choice.

Slowly and carefully Gourry opened the door while poking his head in the room. The room was dark but from the light of the halls Gourry could see Sylphiel's body laying in her bed. By the slow rhythmic rise and fall of her chest Gourry figured she was asleep.

Though he really didn't want to Gourry went and lit a lamp illuminating the room. He had expected Sylphiel to wake immediately from the light but instead she just continued to slumber.

'She really must be tired.' Gourry thought as he looked at the sleeping shrine maiden. Usually it was a common thing for people to look peaceful when they slept and Sylphiel was no exception. She made the barest of noises as she slept with a small smile gracing her lips. She looked so calm and serine. Gourry had never seen Sylphiel so at peace, there wasn't an ounce of worry, sadness or uncertainty that usually painted Sylphiel's angelic face.

The story of Sleeping Beauty flashed through Gourry's mind. A beautiful princess doomed to sleep forever unless a prince wakes her up with a kiss.

Sylphiel wasn't a princess and Gourry wasn't a prince. But once the idea of kissing Sylphiel entered Gourry's mind he couldn't get it out. He even found himself drawn to Sylphiel approaching her bed. But as he got next to the bed sanity regained its control on Gourry's mind and actions. He stopped and had to wonder on what his actions would have been had he kept going. 'I wasn't about to kiss Sylphiel was I? No, I was going to wake her.' He decided even though he didn't if that was the case.

Gently Gourry shook Sylphiel's shoulder trying to wake the slumbering shrine maiden.

Sylphiel mumbled as her eyes fluttered opened. As she woke her fuzzy eyes saw the blurry image of Gourry hovering over her. At first she thought she was dreaming and almost went to reach up to the hansom blond before her. "Gourry-dear?" She mumbled realizing she was awake. "Is something wrong?"

"Ah-no. I um was asked to get you for dinner. I'm sorry I'm in your room. But you didn't answer and then I found you sleeping and um I ah sorry I woke you!" Gourry stammered with beads of sweat falling down his face.

Sylphiel shot him a gentle smile as she sat up in her bed. "It's quite alright. But is it really dinner time already? It feels like I just laid down."

"Yeah you must have been really tired."

"Well thank you for waking me." Sylphiel said while getting out of bed. But in her haste to get to her bed Sylphiel had haphazardly thrown her boots on the floor by her bed. So instead of the floor her foot made contact with the boot and she lost her balance and started falling forward.

Gourry reacted quickly and grabbed Sylphiel before she fell holding her very close to him. Her green eyes were wide in surprise as she looked up at his blue ones.

"Oh my sorry!" Sylphiel blushed as she went to regain her footing.

Gourry's blush matched Sylphiel as he still held onto her even after she was standing firmly on her on own two feet. "Are you okay?" His voice was quiet and breathy.

"Yeah." Sylphiel's voice was just as quiet. As she stared into his eyes she was very aware how close her face was from his. Deep down she knew that Gourry's heart didn't belong to her but she couldn't but wonder what it would be like to kiss him.

Little did Sylphiel know, but Gourry's mind was already on the same page. His heart was pounding again; it raced harder than it had ever before.

Both were silent and stuck staring into each other's eyes. As if both of them were stuck in a trance that neither could break from.

But it was Sylphiel that spoke first ending the spell of silence. "Well we'd better both get going. I'm sure you're hungry and the others must be wondering what is taking us so long." Sylphiel removed herself from Gourry's arms and went to put her boots back on.

Gourry inwardly sighed as his physical contact with the emerald eyed shrine maiden was broken. Though his heart beat so hard in his chest that he thought it was going to explode he didn't like being away from her. This intense desire to be near Sylphiel boggled Gourry's mind as he tried to shake it off. 'We're going to have dinner. You know food, the most important thing in the world? And it's not just any food either it's food prepared by castle chiefs. So it's going to be really good. Focus on the food, focus on the food...' He drummed it over and over in his mind. But as Sylphiel went to get up Gourry found himself offering his arm to her.

...

Though Sylphiel had been tempted to take Gourry's hand on the walk to the dining hall she refrained. Yes she let him help her to her feet but she distanced herself once they reached the hall.

Sylphiel had decided she was letting those old feelings of hers creep up and distort her perceptions of things. She knew that Gourry had feelings for Lina, that much had been obvious. So even though Sylphiel got the feeling Gourry was being a little more 'affectionate' towards her she knew that it wasn't the case. 'I just hadn't really had a chance to be around Gourry-dear in a while. So I'm just sensing things that aren't there. He never expressed any feelings for me before so why would he now? Nothing has changed. Gourry-dear still travels around with Miss Lina so he still must care for her.' Sylphiel frowned lost in her thoughts.

In the back of Sylphiel's mind a small voice spoke up. It asked the question, 'why do you still call him Gourry-dear if you know he loves Miss Lina?'

This caused Sylphiel's frown to deepen. True she had decided that there was no way she had a chance with Gourry; therefore speaking to him in such endearing terms wasn't probably a good idea. 'I decided that nothing was going to happen between the two of us. That I had to get over these feelings of mine. But how can I do this if I can't even bring myself not to tag on the word 'dear' every time I say his name?' This realization weighed heavily on Sylphiel's heart.

Though Gourry's stomach was a symphony of rumbles his mind and heart wasn't getting the message of the gravity of his stomach's hunger. He was much too pre-occupied to really acknowledge his stomach at that moment. Even as the two of them entered the dining hall and all the lovely smells filled their noses Gourry didn't feel the full weight of his hunger.

"It's about time you two got here!" Lina snorted with obvious irritation. It seemed that she had been denied starting her dinner until all parties had arrived.

"I'm sorry Miss Lina I was quite tired and sleeping very heavily. Gourry had a bit of trouble waking me." Sylphiel apologized. She almost stumbled over Gourry's name reverting back to old habits and referring to him as Gourry-dear.

This didn't go unnoticed by those in the dining room. All starred at Sylphiel in disbelief as though she had just said she was pregnant with Lord Shabranigdo's baby.

Sylphiel laughed nervously under the scrutinizing stare and she took her place at the table, sitting down next to Lina.

Gourry also sat himself down in the chair across the table from both Lina and Sylphiel.

Even though Lina had been shocked by the way Sylphiel addressed Gourry once the food was put in front of her all was forgotten.

And thus the dining war started. Or rather that is when the dining war would have started if Gourry had started eating in a feeding frenzy as crazed as Lina. But Gourry was too distracted to acknowledge the food before him. Yes he did eat, and it was still more of a quicker pace than a normal person but it wasn't Gourry usually speedy pace. This was starting to become a regular thing for Gourry.

In the blond swordsmen's mind Gourry was mulling over what Sylphiel had said. It was such a simple thing. A simple thing that Gourry rarely thought about, the word 'dear'. Sylphiel always tacked onto his name when she said it. He had never dawned on the reason for it before reading that letter. After reading that letter he knew better. But he had almost kissed her for crying out loud and now all of sudden she was saying his name... normally? What had brought this on?

As Gourry wondered this he couldn't help but stare once and a while at Sylphiel sitting across from him. She didn't appear to be aware of these stares as she ate while talking with Amelia. And Gourry also stared at Lina too, but food was the only thing she cared for at that moment. But that's how it usually was with Lina, Gourry was never the first thing on her mind.

Gourry wanted to pound his head into the table. He was so confused about these strange emotions that seemed to appear out of nowhere. Or had they? Where these new emotions he feeling or old ones that he didn't even know were there? Had he felt this way before but had been too blind to see it?

Gourry couldn't deny the physical attraction he felt. Sylphiel had strong effect on him now, stronger than anyone had on him before. But did he feel that way because he really did have real feelings for Sylphiel or because he knew that she had feelings for him?

The food before him looked delicious but Gourry could barely taste it.