Chapter Three

Both of us stare at the telephone that broke the reigning silence inside his wide living room.

I wait for him to pick up the phone but instead he lighted another cigarette after crushing the cigarette stub. I frowned and decided to pick it up since I always do it when I lived with him before….

….yeah when I live with him before he doesn't smoke like this… and he doesn't seem to remember his promised three years ago...

Does three years are strong enough to brake the promised he made with me?

"Hello?" I asked when I picked up the phone. I know I sounded not right but can't make my self to ignore the bitterness that I feel right now.

"Misaki!" its niichan voice in other line.

"Niichan!"

"Misaki are you alright? I'm so sorry I left you alone. Are you hurt? You must be very scared right now. I'm sorry I'm not right there in times like this," he said in regretted tone. Just as I thought he must be worried about me all this time.

"I will be right there as soon as possible Misaki so don't worry okay? Niichan loves you so much so forgive me if -

"Niichan!" I cut his bubbling. I heard him sigh in the other line. "I'm okay. Nothings bad happened to me so don't worry about me and ….. Please don't treat me like a child who would rush things out."

"Ha!" Usagi-san who's silently standing next to me makes a very sarcastic tone. I glared at him but I know I did act like a child. I just don't want to worry niichan more so I lied to him,.

"Sorry Misaki," he apologizes again.

"Really, it's okay. I'm with Usagi-san so nothings bad happen to me again" maybe. I frowned.

"Oh! Yes, Right I must thank him." he said in a very bright tone.

"Eh?" puzzled

"I called him to go after you when I heard the news to our neighbor's daughter. Her mother called her when the fire started and we happened to bumped to each other, so ….."

What? The rest of his words don't reach my mind because the feeling inside me is over whelming and it feels like I'm being torn. It almost feels like … like a… a pain, and its more painful than the pain I had when my parents died long ago…but…

Why? Why do I feel like this when niichan and Usagi-san are together and why do I'm feeling it again?
I'm so confuse.

"misaki?" I heard niichan's voice in the other line…I realized that I was keeping silent for almost a minute.

"R-really, that's great, he he" I tried so hard to sounds like my usual self..

"Can you put him on the pho-?" he hasn't finished his line when I shoved the phone to Usagi-san almost hitting his face. "Niichan wants to talk to you." I'm looking into my feet…. avoiding an eye contact to him ….. Afraid that he might saw the pained look on my face…I feel him hesitated but when he get the phone I walked to give them some privacies like I always do when they talked to the phone. It's not that I don't want them to hear in fact I really…really….really want to listen even if it's wrong but niichan and Usagi-san wants me to leave. .

. .

Leaving me feeling lonely while watching them in a distance…

Usagi-san called me when I turned my back from him. "Misaki, where a-"

"Water" I said.

"kay" He simply nodded. "oi….Takahiro, .. .. .. . . " he starts to talk niichan.

Before walking to the kitchen sink I glance to him. Watching his strong yet wide back from behind I started to feel my heart heavies. So it's niichan who told Usagi-san to find me. It's because of niichan that Usagi-san is here looking all worried for me and taking good care of me, all the time, it's always been niichan. .. niichan.. ..I even start hating niichan.

But still…

If he hadn't call Usagi-san. If he never meets niichan, will he still care for me? Will he still look for me, being worried for me?

Will I become someone so special for Usagi-san like niichan?

I want to ask him but I'm afraid. My hate, my pain and frustration are keeping my voice out… making my body cold as ice, making me loose my self. And I hate it. I hate being this way this.

"U-Usagi-san?" I called fisting both side of my hands but I sounded like I force my self to call him.

"Misaki?" he asks trying to looks at my face which for my own well is looking at my feet. I don't want him to notice the flushed face I had. I'm so nervous I opened my mouth to talk but no sound came out.

"Misaki? What's wrong?"

Usagi-san sounded like his worried. He takes a step towards me which makes me my heart tremble. "U-Usagi-san.."

"what is it Misaki?" he asked with a very gentle voice. "tell me" he commanded… he stop in front of me putting his big hand above me. Making me feels comfortable to his presence. Giving me a courage to tell him what I want to know badly.

I close my eyes as hard as I could, fist at the hem of my shirt, almost ruining it. "I-I want… I..I..to…" but I just swallowed my own words when I looked into his eyes.

His eyes are full of anticipations; I could almost saw the shimmering light of hope but why?

What is he expecting me to do? What I saw is true or just me who's imagining it…

"I – I want … to … borrow your clothes" the words came out to my mouth without thinking about it. I was distracted and I don't know what to think anymore to understand the situation I am in…

For the second Usagi-san looks like his disappointed but he still smile gently and nodded before he goes up the stairs case without looking at me.

I just slowly followed him by my eyes full of certain confusions. Making me remember the passed and everything he did to me that deeply carved in my heart.

Do I really hate Usagi-san?

Okay… please review. Thanks for reading.