"You look like shit," croaks Steve, startling Bucky out of the trance he was in while picking at a now-bleeding hangnail.
"Hey," Bucky says, face hurting with how hard he's smiling. "Language, pal." He gets up and pats his friend on the cheek.
"How long was I out for?" Steve asks blearily. "And have you gotten any sleep?"
"Thirty-four hours," Sam responds, making Steve jump. "On your left," he teases. "And no, he hasn't."
"Nobody likes a tattletale," Bucky says petulantly. "And you've done enough for the both of us, Sleeping Beauty," he tells Steve. "Plus, it'd be just like you to do something stupid and dramatic like die on me the moment I dozed off."
"Jerk," Steve grumbles. He rubs at his neck, where the wound is, and rotates his head.
"Careful," Bucky and Sam say in unison, and Bucky feels just a little more respect for Wilson. Despite how cocky and obnoxious Sam is, he does care about Steve. And he also did sort of go to prison for helping Bucky, although it was clearly just due to his loyalty to Captain America.
"Knife, right?" Steve asks.
"Yeah," Bucky says, trying not to remember the sound the metal made as it slid through the flesh of his neck. The sound Steve made .
"Doc says it's almost healed," Sam tells him. "But I wouldn't do too much twisting around."
"Got it," Steve says. Then he laughs to himself.
"What. Could possibly. Be funny?" Bucky grinds out between clenched teeth. He's spent the last three days panicked and sleep-deprived and this punk is amused about beingstabbed in the neck .
"Howard Stark said HYDRA wouldn't come at me with a knife."
"I came at you with a knife," Bucky says blankly, recalling the incident on the Project Insight ship.
"Bucky, that wasn't you," Steve recites like a goddamn broken record.
"Stop with that bullshit, Steve. I'm getting really fucking sick of it." Bucky stands up, looming over Steve's bed, trying to make himself look more intimidating. He has to with Steve now that they're about matched in both size and strength.
Wilson's up in an instant, pushing himself between Bucky and the bed. "Woah, man. Take it down a notch." He's holding that remote in his hand, the one that controls his little robotic pet.
"Jesus Christ, you think I'm gonna hurt him?" Bucky yells, backing Sam up against the bed and making him flinch.
"You just admitted to coming at him with a knife!"
Steve is staring up at them silently but he doesn't look afraid. More curious.
"Do I look brainwashed right now to you? You're Sam Wilson, the prick I just barely put up with." He gestures to the bed behind Sam, causing the other man's finger to fly to the red trigger button on the remote. "That's Steven Grant Rogers, my best friend. I wouldn't hurt a goddamn hair on his head."
"You tried to kill him," Sam says defiantly. "You nearly succeeded."
"I didn't know who he was! I wasn't‒"
"Yourself?" Sam asks, pocketing the drone remote and relaxing his posture.
Bucky's anger skyrockets. He realizes now why Steve had stayed silent the whole time. It was all part of a twisted, reverse-psychology plan.
"You sons of bitches," he spits out, and then he hits Sam. He uses his flesh hand with not even a quarter of his enhanced strength, but it'll sure as hell give him a swollen lip. There's already a bead of blood bubbling to the surface.
"Get out," he orders Wilson, who quickly obliges.
Bucky is left alone with Steve, who, for all it's worth, does look ashamed.
"I want you to say it," Steve still has the nerve to say.
"What?" Bucky asks, glaring at his friend, trying to get him to look away. He doesn't. His resolve won't be scared away. It never could be. Not by bullies twice his size in back alleys, not from alien-weapon-wielding Nazis.
"Do you want a 'thank you' for fucking with my emotions? Because you're not gonna get one." It's killing Bucky to yell at Steve like this, but ganging up on him and playing mind games when he was already so frayed was beyond low.
"No, I want you to say that it wasn't you."
Bucky is the one to look away. Steve has always been the stronger one. Bucky is the one who breaks.
"That's what you want, huh? Well, I want some goddamn peace in here!" He taps on his head with a metal finger, hard. The noise seems to ring all the way through his skull and Steve cringes.
"I had HYDRA blending my brain and tearing apart my sanity for decades, and sure, it doesn't surprise me that your boyfriend would do it, but I didn't really expect you to stoop down to HYDRA's level."
Bucky hates himself as soon as the words leave his mouth. "I didn't mean that."
He expects a tirade from Steve at that, maybe even a punch. Because Bucky knows that comparing Captain America to the brainwashing terrorists that are still tearing their lives apart is probably on the top three list of "Worst Things You Could Possible Say to Steve Rogers," but Steve just scoots over in the small bed and pats the space next to him.
"You're exhausted. We'll talk about this after you've rested."
Bucky clenches his fists, not sure whether he's more annoyed at or grateful for Steve's coddling.
"Steve, no. I need to explain."
"Later," Steve says, yawning. "I have apologizing to do, too."
"You're going back to sleep? Just like that?"
"I'm on painkillers and I need my beauty rest. And so do you, buddy. Like I said, you look like shit."
When Bucky fails to move, Steve puts on the best "Commanding Officer" voice he can muster while being half-asleep. "Get in the bed, Barnes. That's an order."
"Yes, sir," Bucky says sarcastically with a mock salute, climbing into the bed. His head is spinning from the emotional whiplash the past ten minutes of dialog has jerked him through.
They are way too big to share the bed, so their sides are pressed together warmly. Bucky's not quite sure where they stand right now so he lies flat on his back with his hands crossed over his stomach, trying to give Steve room.
"Buck," Steve urges. Bucky knows what he wants. And then it's just like old times again, Bucky's arm wrapped around Steve's waist, nose tucked against his neck. Back when Steve was small and sick and their shitty heater never worked. Only now he's bigger and warmer and at the moment, not rattling out shaky coughs.
Bucky is asleep within seconds.