The Uncanny Thor

Chapter 3: One Of Our Gods Is Missing

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to Marvel Comics.

Broxton, Oklahoma-

Thor and Beta Ray Bill flew through the skies above Broxton, a small town in the middle of Oklahoma. They could have easily used Thor's hammer to transport them there, but it was just as easy to fly.

'Perhaps we should begin looking for Kelda in the diner below.' Thor suggested. 'The people therein may be able to direct us to the one we seek.'

The pair landed in the middle of the street opposite a diner. The sudden arrival of the heroes didn't go unnoticed. Several people stopped in their tracks and watched as Thor and his companion entered the diner.

'Hey, ain't that blond fella one of them Avengers?' One passer-by asked another.

'He ain't no ordinary Avenger.' The second passer-by responded. 'That's Thor, he's a god or something'.'

'What d'you think a god would want with Bill's Diner?' Passer-By Number One asked. Passer-By Number Two simply shrugged.

'Hey, even gods have gotta eat.'

Inside the diner, Thor headed straight towards a blond-haired man wearing a red baseball cap and apron at the counter.

'Evenin' fellas, what can I get ya?' The man said, barely batting an eyelid at the fact that a god and an orange-skinned alien with a face like a horse had just walked in through the door.

'My companion and I have come in search of a goddess by the name of Kelda.' Thor explained. 'Perhaps you have seen her.'

'Yeah, Kelda's just out back on her break.' The fellow at the counter stated. 'She ain't in no trouble, is she?'

'We merely wish to speak with her.' Thor told the man. 'Her presence is required back in Asgard.' The hat-wearing man motioned to a vacant booth.

'Take a seat and I'll bring her right over.' Thor and Beta Ray Bill took a seat in the vacant booth. Several patrons turned to regard the new arrivals.

'I hope my presence has not disturbed the townsfolk.' Bill frowned slightly.

'I am sure that is not the case, my friend.' Thor reassured his companion. 'They may be simple folk, but they are a lot more tolerant than you think.'

It didn't take the hat-wearing gent very long to bring Thor and Beta Ray Bill the one they sought. Kelda was a beautifully pale, blonde goddess.

'Greetings Thor.' The blonde goddess nodded in greeting. 'I believe my presence is required back in Asgard. Is the Baldersleep upon us already?'

'I am afraid so, Lady Kelda.' Thor answered. 'Balder has bid me to bring assistance for the defence of Asgard.'

The hat-wearing fellow walked over with a pot of coffee.

'Can I get you fellas some coffee? It's made fresh.' The man enquired. 'How about some pie? Kelda just made it.'

'You made pie?' Beta Ray Bill blinked in confusion.

'Aye. William was kind enough to find me a job here.' Kelda responded. 'I have found myself quite adept at baking.'

'William?' Thor asked. 'Who is this William?'

'That would be me, fellas.' The hat-wearing fellow with the pot of coffee stated. 'William the Third, but everybody calls me Bill. My gramps is Big Bill, this is his diner, and my pa is Little Bill.'

'We must apologise for taking Kelda away from you.' Thor said.

'Aww, think nothing of it.' Bill smiled. 'If Kelda's needed back home, then I ain't gonna argue. Heck, I'd do the same if my home was in trouble. So, how about that coffee, huh? On the house.'

'Well, we do still have some time before the Baldersleep begins.' Thor nodded. 'Perhaps some of the pie that Kelda has made.'

'Coming right up.' Bill grinned.

BADOOM!

The windows of the diner shook from the force of an explosion a short distance away.

'That came from the direction of the bank.' Bill said. 'We ain't got much in Broxton, a couple of stores, and this diner. The bank building's been around almost as long as there's been a Broxton.'

'Then the coffee and pie shall have to wait.' Beta Ray Bill nodded in understanding. 'We have villains to fight!'

Outside-

'Haw! We shoulda done this ages ago.' Wrecker of the Wrecking Crew hooted in evil glee. 'There ain't no cops around fer miles!'

'And these bozos from the sheriff's department break too easily.' Piledriver said as he dumped another unconscious officer into a pile. 'This ain't no challenge at all.'

'Famous last words, Piledriver.' Thunderball said as he spun his wrecking ball around, crushing a nearby parked truck. 'Heroes have an unfortunate habit of turning up no matter where we attempt to try our luck.'

'Aww, you worry too much.' Bulldozer snickered. 'What sort of hero would wanna protect a two-bit town like this?'

KRAKOOM!

An enchanted hammer smashed Bulldozer on the back of the head, sending him tumbling into an already wrecked truck.

'Awright. Time for a bit of fun.' Wrecker grinned eagerly, patting his crowbar in anticipation.

'You have chosen the wrong town to attack, Wrecker.' Thor said as Mjolnir returned to him. 'Surrender now, and you will remain unharmed.'

'I think you already know the answer to that, Goldilocks.' Wrecker snorted in derision. 'Lets wreck 'em, boys!'

Bulldozer clambered back up to his feet and charged at Thor.

'Rrrraaaagh!'

SPANG!

The Thunder God easily deflected the villain's charge with a strike from Mjolnir, sending him sailing off into the distance.

'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.' Piledriver said. 'My back still kinda hurts from that time in London.' (1)

'Don't be such a coward, Piledriver.' Thunderball said as he spun his wrecking ball above his head. 'What could two heroes and one little woman possibly do to us?'

'You will see that I am more than a mere woman.' Kelda stated as she held her hands outwards.

FWOOSH!

Thunderball found himself encased in ice. Kelda was indeed more than a mere woman, she was the goddess of the storms and ice.

Piledriver continued to back away until he felt himself bump into something large. He turned around to see Beta Ray Bill standing behind him, patting his hand with his hammer.

'Uh… Nice horse?' The villain offered lamely. 'Want a sugar cube?'

SMITE!

Beta Ray Bill stuck the villain, sending him sailing into the distance alongside Bulldozer.

'Your allies have been defeated, Wrecker.' Thor stated as he and his compatriots advanced on the villain. 'It would be wise to surrender.' Of course, Wrecker wasn't having any of it. The villain raised his crowbar in the air and went for the God of Thunder.

'Go to hell, you yellow-haired son of a…'

FWOOSH!

Wrecker found himself encased in ice, just like Thunderball.

'Do the villains in Midgard never listen to reason?' The storm goddess asked.

'They are all as stubborn as they are stupid.' Beta Ray Bill nodded in response. 'These four especially.'

Asgard, meanwhile-

A balding grey-bearded warrior with an eye patch and a large scar down one side of his face was sitting staring into his almost empty tankard of mead in a dingy tavern somewhere in Asgard.

'Might I join you?'

The balding warrior looked up with bleary eyes and blinked a few times to straighten out his vision. He couldn't see the face of the man speaking to him for his face was covered by a hood.

'I seek no company.' The warrior retorted drunkenly. 'Begone.'

'Not even if that company has another flagon of mead for you?' The hooded figure enquired. The drunken warrior's face soon lit up in a smile.

'Come, sit. Sit with me, friend.' The warrior beckoned to the stranger. 'Adrik is always happy to sit with those with mead in their hands.'

The hooded stranger took a seat opposite Adrik and leant closer.

'Tell me Adrik, why is such a fierce warrior as yourself sitting in a begrimed tavern when he could be at home enjoying the company of his wife and children?' The stranger asked.

'Alas, frost giants claimed both my wife and son many years ago.' Adrik sighed sadly, swaying slightly in his seat.

'Hmm, yes. How unfortunate.' The hooded stranger nodded. 'Look at that, you seem to have finished your mead. I was going to offer you another, but I see that it will not be necessary. Sleep now Adrik, for I will have need of you later…'

TBC…

Next: London Calling

Thor continues on his search for assistance defending Asgard during the Baldersleep. His next stop: London and the Enchantress!

Author's Notes-

(1)- Piledriver was almost crippled by the mutant known as Outlaw in Chapter 29 of 'Uncanny Deadpool'.