Chapter 3: Sleeping in the Sadness

My vision cleared. I'm sitting underneath Ben's gazebo. How did I get here? What happened to me? I look at my hand, its burnt to a crisp, bone flashing around in what's left of the pale moonlight. I can feel my eyes begin to water, creating a stream of tears rolling down my face. It is then that I realise that I'm not alone. There's two people with me. I see their shadows at the edge of my eye. I know it's not Violet, the shadows are a lot curvier than Violet's thin physique. I turn around to reveal the shadows. Vivien and Nora.

"What are you doing here?" I snap. Good one Tate, great conversation starter for the woman you raped and basically murdered.
"No!" Vivien snarks back. "The question is; what was that about?"
I look blankly at her then slide my eyes to the view of Nora. She seemed different, she looked like she had more personality. No more need to try to find her baby.
"I was doing something productive."
"Productive?!" Nora spits, mad at me. I've never seen that woman mad before, only upset or slightly joyed. "You were burning yourself."
"Oh well," I wipe my locks to the side of my face. "What can you do?"
"That's why we're here, Tate!" Vivien says, eyes focusing on me.

I stand up, wiping the dry tears from my face. I hear rain begin to pour down, great mood supporter. I look at the gazebo counter. The razor, noose, gun and matches are laid out neatly. They went through my jacket? Did I pass out when I burnt my hand? What the fuck. I look at Vivien in confusion.
"Why do you care, Vivien? You know what I d-"
"Yes, I do know Tate," she interrupts me, angering me a bit. "But do you know what? I'm different to Ben. Sure, what you did was-"
"Fucked up," I add to irritate her. Paybacks a bit.. oh wait.
"Tate," Nora sighs.
"Yes, you can say that. But I think personally that you don't deserve to torture yourself forever."
Her voice is serious, but also seems lost and concerned.

I look at the tools on the counter, then look back at her.
"I'm sorry, Vivien. But I deserve a lot more than a little burning," I walk into the rain,but not before picking up the razor.
"Tate!" Vivien screams, voice cracking intensely.
"Don't," I say, looking at both women. "Don't try to help me. God knows the devil doesn't deserve it.
I watch as Vivien walks out into the rain to follow me. I hear her speak words of reason, but I can't work them out.
"Go away, Vivien," I say, making her disappear.
I look at Nora, her eyes are becoming streams for tears.
"I'm sorry."

I stopped at the back fence of the house, leaning over it to lay against it. The rain begins to soak my jacket, as well as the shirt that lays underneath. I hold the razor in my hand, staring at it for no reason. I know deserve this shit. The voices cloud my mind, my judgement. Seems like I lost the will to live, well, as much as I do anyway. I've lost control of my body, allowing the voices to control me. Well, whenever I leave myself in control, I never goes well. With Rubber Man gone, I've loosened the chances of me killing someone again. The water drips from the tips of my hair and my chin. It flows down my body, through my clothes and back to the ground. I grip the razor tighter, causing blood to flow from my palm, drenching my arm and diluting with the rain. I wonder where she is. I want to see her again, and I wonder if she's seen me in all this.

Violet's POV

There he is. The one I love but told to leave. Sitting in the rain, alone. I heard his screams earlier, fuck, I've heard him yell and breaking things in the basement. I wanted to see him, but I need to keep my mind in check. You know what he did, what he did to your mother. I stand at the window, staring at him. Why is he doing this? He's been fine in the basement, well, I don't know that for sure. He's leaning against the back of the fence, trying to hide from everyone. He doesn't know I can see him, which is good, I'd prefer if he didn't know. But the more I see him alone, the harder it is to hold the tears from my eyes.

"What is he holding?" I say to myself, wiping my eyes.
"What he's holding is a razor," my mom says from behind me.
"Bullshit!" I snap. "He's not that far gone, he's just looking for attention.
"I saw it myself, Vi."
I roll my hazel eyes at her. She doesn't know shit.
"Vi," she sighs at me.
"Yeah," I look at her angrily.

She takes me into a tight hug. What is up with her? She seems upset, but it's not because of my dad.
"What's wrong, mom?" I ask, hugging her back.
"It's Tate," she says simply, he cared about him?
"What about him?" I ask. "What did he do earlier?"
"I don't think I should tell you," she says, but serious.
I grow irritated. "What'd he do, mom?"

She looks outside the window, at him. After all he did to our family, my mother still cared, even about a monster like my ex-boyfriend. He didn't deserve sympathy, but for some reason, I was feeling sad. I join her at the window. I can see it now, his hand is fucked.
"What happened to his hand?!" I panic, not thinking about clouding my emotions from her.
"He was burning the latex suit," she pauses.
"He was?" I'm surprised he did it, but I feel it wasn't about his redemption.
"Yeah," she pauses again. "But when it got up to the last piece, he put his hand in the fireplace with it."

I gasp and look back at him. I notice something odd. There's blood soaking all over his hand and arm. No. He's cutting his wrists. He's doing what I promised him I wouldn't do. Three horizontal cuts on each wrist. I watch in agony as he slices the last cut on his other. I know how he felt now, watching me. I want to go down there and stop him, but I can't for some reason. I see tears flowing down his face with the rain. He drops the razor onto the ground and starts pounding his head with his fists.

Tate' POV

"Stupid! Fucking! Idiot!" I scream, pounding my head with the apex of my fists. I committed another betrayal. Now I'm a hypocrite, a bullshit cunt of an asshole that committed something I got the girl I loved to promise never to do again. I'm so fucking stupid. This is some mighty fine bullshit here. I feel the tears flow down my cheeks. This is it. No coming back from this, I deserve this, I know I do, I just wished I didn't have to be an asshole to Vivien and beautiful Nora. Nora's like a mother to me, better mother than what Constance will ever be. I look around the backyard, I can see a little truck, the one I owned when I was a kid; when I was innocent.

I pick up the razor again, placing it at the top of my wrist and flipping it vertically.
Do it Tate! You deserve this. DO IT!
I scream to myself, the voices are back and they're not coming back until it's done.
This is it. No coming back from this, I deserve this.

Violet's POV

"What's happened to him?" I ask my mother, who's sitting down on my bed.
"He's broken, Vi. His mind and heart are broken."
I look at my mother with bare eyes, mimicking hers.
"Why do you even give two shits?" I gnarl at her.
"Violet!"
"No, seriously. Why?"
My mother pauses at me, then sighs.
"At first I was completely and utterly hateful to Tate. After all the shit he pulled off. But then I thought; if it wasn't for this house and Tate's actions that lead to my and your brother's death. Our family wouldn't be whole again. I thought about it deeply. And eventually I've come to the point that I don't hate him entirely. Sure, I haven't completely forgiven him, but he's one of the reasons why our family is whole again."

I nod in surprise, I can't believe my mother felt this way, she cared about him. Even after everything he did to her and to the others of this house, my mother still cared about him. He didn't much to me, nothing bad anyway, he tried to save me when I died and hid my body. Whether or not he hid my body because of my family's well-being, it was still a big decision, and he made it for me, I know that for a fact. And now he was out there; freezing and deteriorating inside, the situation was volatile and I knew it. This was destroying him, all that time in the basement, and when people tried to help, he cut them out.

I stood still, staring at my mother with watery eyes. As much as I wanted to hand in the trembles of my tears, I couldn't take anymore, I had to let it out.
"I've done this, mom!" I squeal, causing a commotion in Murder House similar to what Tate has been creating. "I did this to him."
"You didn't do anything, honey." Her voice is calming and disruptive, killing off the sadness inside of me.
"I did though," I knew it was true, I destroyed Tate Langdon. The boy who went crazy because of his sickly disturbed mother.
"You were angry, people say things when they're angry."
I nod. She embraces me in a comfortable hug, and I dig my face into her shoulder.

I take one last glimpse outside the window. And what my eyes lay on, is a horror, a horror I created. I strip out of the hug and clamp against the window in panic, wiping my eyes in disbelief. My eyes water even more, causing pain throughout my whole body, pain like nothing else; my heart was aching and tearing out of my chest. I know it wasn't permanent, but the sight is still unforgivable. It's Tate; lying perfectly still, like he's dreaming. But he's not, blood drips down his wrist, but not in a fashion I used to take part in, but vertically. Tate is torturing himself because of me. He slit his wrists and now he's dead (temporarily).

Author's Note

Well.. Damn
There's Chapter 3 down. I know it's quite sad and dark. But I promise things might start getting better for Tate.
Thanks for reading :) It's still in progress and is my first long fanfic
Review away if you would like to.