"Ba-an?"
"What?" Bancoran could almost see his lover dangling leg and fiddling with phone cord in the agent's apartment. The workday was about to end in a matter of minutes, and he was mentally on the way home to that pretty sight (and home stock of whiskey).
"Are you late today again?" Maraich purred at the other end of line.
"Strangely, no. I'll be on time." Bancoran expected some excitement at the fact, but…
"Will you do some shopping then in your procurement office?"
"Er… what?" The agent felt frustrated, somehow.
"Just a sec, I'll take the list and say what. Yeah, a box of tommy gun cartridges, a couple of machine gun cartridges, just to be on the safe side, and gun grease. It's still a third of a bottle but still you may as well restock it. Oh, and most important! Get some new cartridges for gas masks. I know you can bring home only written-off old ammunition, but those masks you've got the last time are dated world war one!"
"That is quite a list." Bancoran sighed, but then sprung to his feet and squeezed the receiver. "Are you okay, Maraich?!"
"Sure, don't worry, I'm fine, unlike all others." There was clearly a yawn. "First, some Columbian drug dealers tried to undermine your apartment. You should have seen their faces when they saw me! They must have most lousy reconis… secret service if they didn't expected to come across me – the rest of the world knows that I spend most of time at your place. Then, a couple of thugs from IDS tried to kill me. Just as I've started to thing they gave up on the idea. And then yet another boy came and wanted to see you and stay with you till death do you part."
The red-head paused. Long enough to make Bancoran VERY nervous.
"And?.." the agent was the first to give way.
"Oh, I've forgot to say you should buy more insect powder, our pack is over."
"M-maraich, you… didn't you… please tell you didn't…"
"What? I wanted to make him some tea, and there it was – a cockroach in the cupboard! I wanted to sink through the floor - in front of him, such a disgrace. He noticed it, too, and reprimanded me, mind you! Like, he'd be a better housewife for you! Like hell! I was more skillful at throwing knives and combat arts than he—"
"And?" – Bancoran forgot to breathe. "You didn't?.."
"I did. I did persuade him to forget you and leave." His voice was seething with malicious joy.
Certainly he was not going to tell in detail what kind of persuasion it was. He did learn some special tricks from Bancoran. Of course the red-head was not as overpowering as the secret agent, but at least Bancoran's victims stopped being so focused on him and realized there were other men in the world, too. But Bancoran should not know that. Men's egos are so damn fragile.