3. The Beginning of Realization

BPOV

I felt strong arms around me as I began to wake up and smiled. I remembered Quil was here with me and sighed lightly. I thought back over everything that happened yesterday as I laid there with my eyes closed, not ready to wake up just yet. Why had Jake even come over last night? He was trying to keep his promise not to hurt me but it was a little too late for that. Did I even want to know what his secret was? I mean if he couldn't just come out and tell me should I even bother trying to figure it out? I felt Quil stir behind me as he kissed the back of my head.

Quil…what was going on with us? I enjoyed his touch and his kiss but this was Jake's best friend. I thought of Jake's face when he found us last night, had he thought we'd slept together? No, Jake wouldn't think that. He knew me better than that, didn't he? I sighed again as I thought of the look of discouragement on Jake's face when he left last night. He walked away from me though, not the other way around, and I deserved some comfort and peace didn't I?

"Good morning." Quil whispered into my ear. I felt a smile take over my face as his breath touched my ear.

"Good morning to you." I said turning my head towards him.

"How did you sleep?" He asked.

"I didn't have any nightmares which is a first in a long time, so good I guess. Thank you for staying with me last night," I whispered.

"That's what friends are for right?" He smiled.

"Yeah, friends," I paused.

"Quil about last night and everything…"

"Bella, don't say anything. I would never try to take you away from Jake. I know you're not ready for any kind of relationship anyway, neither am I. I just like being with you. You make me feel better. I feel like I can talk to you and you'll understand." Quil had cut me off and paused.

"As much as I enjoy kissing you, I don't think that's a good idea." He finished with a grin.

I smiled in response, he was right. I didn't love Jake as more than a friend. I knew I didn't love Quil either, we were both just lonely. He was a good guy and we were comfortable together. So what if we were physically attracted to each other? It's not like I was going to sleep with him or anything.

"You're right it's definitely not a good idea for us to kiss." I said turning towards him and pressing my lips lightly to his.

"Bella…" He moaned.

"Sorry Quil I just needed one more. I'll be good now I promise." I said smiling shyly at him. He sighed and smiled back.

"So what would you like to do today? Charlie won't be back until later tonight so we have the whole day." He said enthusiastically.

"Well first I need to take a shower and make breakfast for us. We can decide over breakfast how's that?" I said getting out of bed. When he didn't answer right away I turned back to look at him. I couldn't contain the giggles as I looked at Quil lying in my bed with a pillow over his shorts and his eyes squeezed shut.

He sighed heavily at my laughter and shook his head. If I didn't know any better I would swear that he was blushing.

"What's wrong Quil don't you want breakfast?" I asked innocently. He sat up and threw the pillow at me with a murderous glare.

"Bella just go take a shower please," He said in a rough voice. I giggled again as I grabbed my clothes and walked out of the room.

Half an hour later Quil was in the shower and I was in the kitchen making pancakes for breakfast. My mind wandered back to Jacob and his appearance in my room last night. What was he trying to tell me? Was he really sorry for hurting me or just guilty? I jumped when I felt Quil's hands on my hips and his lips on my neck.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. You just looked so beautiful standing here daydreaming." He whispered in my ear before pulling away from me. I sighed lightly and turned to look at him.

"Don't worry about it I was just thinking about what we should do today." I lied, turning back to the pancakes I was cooking.

"Bella, don't lie to me. You were thinking about Jacob weren't you?" He asked. I kept my eyes down and sighed.

"Yeah, I'm not sure I want to talk about it yet though." I answered quietly putting the last of the pancakes on a platter and turning towards the table.

"No problem, let's just enjoy our day and we'll deal with Jake and everything else later when you feel like talking okay." He smiled and ran the back of his hand gently down my cheek. I reached up and placed my hand on his.

"You're a good friend Quil. Let's eat and figure out what we're going to do today." I said sitting down at the table and making my plate.

Before I could finish the phone rang. I jumped up and answered it quickly.

"Hello" I said.

"Bella, sweetheart, did you get my note last night?"

"Yea Dad, is everything okay?"

"No, I was hoping to be back later tonight but I'm getting the run around up here. Will you be okay for one more night?"

"Sure Dad I understand and don't worry about me I'll be fine."

"If you need anything you know you can always call Billy, right?"

"Yeah Dad I know. Please don't worry everything is fine here. Please be safe and I'll see you tomorrow night. I love you Dad."

"I love you too sweetheart. See you tomorrow night."

I hung up the phone and turned back to the table.

"Charlie's stuck in Seattle for another day. He'll be home tomorrow night." I sighed and sat back down to finish my breakfast. Quil reached over and placed his hand on mine and waited for me to look at him.

"I can stay again if you'd like me to Bella. You don't have to be alone unless you want to be," He said quietly. I smiled sincerely at him and nodded.

"Okay then what should we do today?" He asked finishing his pancakes.

"Let's go to the harbor in Port Angeles." I suggested between bites of pancake.

"That sounds like fun. I haven't been to the pier in a while," He said enthusiastically. We finished eating in silence and then cleared the table. Quil helped me with the dishes and before long we were out the door on our way to Port Angeles.

I found out that despite his outgoing personality, Quil was a very private person and very insecure. He didn't have a problem talking to girls, but he did get nervous when it came to actual physical interaction with them. I was surprised to find out that he'd never kissed a girl before me. I was also surprised to find that we got along really well. We laughed together easily and shared things about our lives like we'd known each other forever. I felt like I could tell Quil anything and he wouldn't judge me or be hurt by what I said. He'd just listen and try to understand. Why was this so different from my relationship with Jake? He was supposed to be my best friend, yet I couldn't be this honest with him.

When we got to Port Angeles we parked by the pier and went for a walk on the beach. We laughed and talked for hours just getting to know each other and forgetting our problems in La Push. I bought sandwiches from a deli on the boardwalk and we headed down the pier to find a bench where we could sit and eat. The pier was almost empty so we had plenty of privacy. I couldn't keep my mind off of Jake any longer.

"Quil, why do you think it's easier for me to talk to you then it is for me to talk to Jake? Please don't get me wrong. Jake's been a great friend, he always seems to know what I need, but I always feel guarded around him." I asked quietly not sure if I was really ready for this conversation. Quil sighed slightly and finished chewing his sandwich.

"I think there is more to your relationship with Jake then you want to believe. You know he loves you. Even though you're not ready for a relationship right now you know he's waiting for that." He looked at me sincerely and reached over to hold my hand.

"Bella how do you really feel about Jake?" He asked quietly. I sighed and looked down the pier towards the water.

"He's comfortable, Quil. When I'm with him my heart doesn't hurt so much from Edward leaving. Sometimes I even forget about Edward completely. He always seems to know what I need or how I feel. He's always doing everything for me. He tries so hard to make me happy. He says he'll be my friend forever as long as he gets to be part of my life." I finished quietly.

"Those are all things Jake does for you Bella. How do you feel about him?" Quil asked again. I thought for a few minutes before I spoke.

"I feel safe with him. I don't worry as much when we're together. I like being with him and there is never uncomfortable silence. It doesn't matter if we're talking or just together I'm always content. He makes me smile." I smiled a little as I thought about Jake being my sun.

"Are you attracted to him physically?" He asked quietly. I could feel my face blush as I thought about the day Jacob took me to the hospital after my first motorcycle accident; his beautiful russet skin, his long, lean muscles.

"I guess I've never taken too much time to think of Jake that way. I usually see him as family but yes he is very handsome." I said a little embarrassed. We sat quietly for a few minutes each of us lost in our own thoughts.

"Bella, I don't know what's going on with Jake right now or what secret he wants you to figure out. I do think that when all of this mess is straightened out you need to take a step back and reevaluate your relationships. Maybe you should try to look at Jake as a lover not a brother and see what your feelings are then." Quil looked at me with sincere eyes trying to reassure me that he wasn't being pushy just offering friendly advice.

I sighed lightly and looked down the pier again. A figure I'd seen earlier caught my eye standing perfectly still in the exact same spot. I strained to see more clearly but it was just too far away. Although I couldn't tell who it was I knew what he was. My heart skipped a beat, my hands got sweaty and I couldn't breathe.

"Bella are you okay? What's wrong?" Quil asked shaking me slightly to get my attention. I couldn't speak. All I could do was point down the pier to the figure. I stood up on shaky legs and began walking down the pier. Quil stayed right next to me trying to figure out what I was doing and what I was looking at. I couldn't tell him I was looking at a vampire.

As I got closer to the figure I was able to make out his hair color and exact build. My breath caught as I looked at the back of someone I knew very well and would recognize anywhere even from this distance. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared not sure what to do. What did this mean and why was he here?

"Bella who are you looking at?" Quil whispered from his spot next to me.

"A Cullen." I breathed. The man's head snapped around and we were looking into each other's eyes from across the pier. That's not what I expected.