Chapter 3

AN: Starting to get a little better; still angsty....

Derek was still completely numb, in an unbelievable state of shock. A baby. At his age, he had numerous encounters and never even came close; it seemed nearly impossible. How… He shook his head; he knew exactly how! A baby. He couldn't believe that he would be so blessed, but she was sure. He was awestruck: he didn't think he was worthy. He never thought it would happen to him.

It's not that he didn't want a family. He'd wanted to be a father, but kind of gave up the idea awhile back. Didn't look like he'd ever get the opportunity to settle down. He wanted to find the right girl; actually thought he did. One he wanted to settle down with. He told her he loved her. He'd never said that to a woman before in his life.

Yes, the woman he could see forever with was taken. By a stupid, miserable computer geek with bad clothes and greasy hair named Lynch. For two fucking years, she and Lynch were together, no abating. Derek dated others, a lot of others, during that time. But man, he only had solace, pure unrestrained peace, with her.

Then two months ago, she broke up with Lynch. He finally, finally got the chance try for her again, and what did he do? He chickened out. He knew she didn't want that with him, had turned him down before. At least he had their friendship, until that night. He ruined that by thinking with his dick.

He couldn't regret that fantastic night, not in a million years, but it had too many ramifications. He lost too much. The sex was important; he thought he'd show her a little how he felt that night. But she wanted the "no strings" guarantee he promised, and left in the morning as quickly as she could. She didn't even wait for him to wake up, she hightailed it out the door.

At work, she acted like absolutely nothing happened. He assumed she wanted to forget it, forget that the most incredible night of his life happened. He should have known. He made the promise, not her. He had a hard time being by her, he wanted her so much. However, she showed him no sign that she wanted anything different that what they always had.

Somewhere deep and basic inside him ached. Was a real relationship with him that repugnant to her that she'd ignore anything ever happened?

Now this, this blessing beyond all blessings. A baby. With the one woman he'd ever really loved. It was surreal, it was terrifying, but above all that, it was something he wanted fiercely. It was like a dream come true, just in a really ass-backwards fashion. Believe it or not, Derek was old school in some things. He believed in love, then marriage, then babies but he'd take what he could get and order be damned. He loved her, and loved the baby already. Maybe she'd grow to love him completely; until then he had enough love for all of them.

A baby. His baby. Penelope's baby. Their baby.

He finally snapped out of it in time to watch her head towards the door. "Penelope, wait! Please," he yelled.

The bells on the door of the shop were tinkling as she stepped outside. Keep it together, Penelope, keep it together! It was a mantra, she recited it over and over. Don't let that bastard hurt you anymore!

She hurried as quickly as she could over to her car, trying to open the door. She was no where near fast enough. He grabbed her wrist to stop her, turning her, making a cage around her so that her back was to the car. "Penelope, please. Let me explain."

"Explain what, Derek? That you think I am a whore like you?" She saw him flinch at that. Vitriol was rolling off of her. She didn't care, she wanted him to bleed like she was. "That you think this could be just about anyone's kid? Hell, maybe I should go tell Reid and Rossi to be on the lookout…."

"Stop it," he said, anger building. "Baby girl, I didn't mean--"

"I don't need you for this. There are a lot of single moms out there," she spat. "Besides, if that doesn't work, Kevin said he'd be there."

He paled, "You told Lynch before you told me?"

She'd never seen that look on his face before. It was beyond hurt- it was devastation.

That stopped her a little bit. She wanted to hurt him, but not like that. Never like that. "No. But he said that he would always be there."

"Woman," he rumbled, barely constrained rage dripping off of him. All of his good intentions went out the door with that last statement. "If you think that there is a way in God's green earth that I am letting Lynch raise my kid, you really are crazy!"

Crazy! She needed to run away, fast. "You need to let go of me, right now, or I won't be responsible for what I do to you," she growled, yanking futilely at her wrist. "Fine! You asked for it!" She went to bring her knee up.

He saw it coming a mile away. FBI strategic defense 101. He captured her knee between his and pulled her forward, making her off balance, then pressed her back against the car door, his body following. He completely made any fight she had impotent. Her body was sandwiched between the car and him.

He was angry, he was breathing heavy, and he couldn't think enough to form the words he needed to say. He knew they needed to talk, but he couldn't do it. Not with every soft curve, every warm, pliant inch of her pressed against him. He'd memorized those curves, but the feel was so much better than the memory. Her eyes were sparking fire at him, such anger.

He didn't want that anger. He wanted more, damn it! He needed to think, to draw the warmth and solace from her body to soothe his battered heart, to dampen the arousal being near her caused. One thing was certain; he was sick of fighting.

Her heart was pounding. Being this close to him wreaked havoc on her heart. She needed to hold on to that anger, or she would lose herself in the hurt she was feeling. She needed to get away from the strength of his body. She tried to summon all the anger that she had left inside of her. "Let me go, Derek! This conversation is so over!"

"Fine, baby. You don't want to talk?" he said, pulling her closer into his body. She gasped. "Then we have to communicate another way."