Disclaimer: I still own nothing as always.
A/N: Yeah, the long awaited (like a few weeks) update.

C is for Chicks

The Akatsuki, being made up of crazy scary S-rank criminals, didn't get alot of time with girls. Even Deidara and Itachi who were the only ones who looked halfway normal and could be with girls because it wasn't against their religions didn't get much love because most chicks tended to get scared away by the Akatsuki cloaks. So the day Sakura was kidnapped and had to be interrogated all the male members took it upon themselves to get some.

"I'm not going to talk no mater what!" she yelled at them.

"Who's up first?" Konan asked them.

Everyone but Pain quickly raised there hands with expressions that would have looked more in place on a little boy in school who knew the answer than on dangerous grown men.

Konan figured what their tactics would be so she picked randomly, "Sasori, Deidara, Itachi, Kakuzu, Tobi, Zetsu, Kisame, then Hidan."

Hidan jumped up, "Why do I have to go fucking last!"

"We do need her alive," Pain told him as he and Konan walked out of the room.

"Fucking bastard, call me when its my turn," he told the others as he walked away as well.

"Well go ahead Sasori-Danna," Deidara finally said.

Sasori didn't reply and walked into the cell holding Sakura wordlessly. She didn't even acknowledge that he was there.

"Sakura, you know what we want?," Sasori asked her.

She turned her head up to look at him for the first time.

She was clearly shocked, "S-Sasori! But your dead! I killed you myself!"

"Yeah, as you can see I'm clearly not dead," He replied, "and you didn't answer my question."

The medic looked at him and sighed, "You want information, or to use me as a hostage, or to make me heal Itachi's eyes, or some other clique thing."

Sakura then added, "You know, vague villain stereotype bullshit."

Sasori smirked, "Your only half right, we do want information but the other members and myself haven't had a chick around for a while so if you don't give us information . . . lets just say that we would still get what we want."

She had a look of horror on her face at his declaration.

"And what, your playing good cop here telling me exactly what you want?" Sakura spat.

The puppet master laughed lightly, "Actually its more like seven good cops and then schizophrenic sadistic former cop just released from prison for killing old ladies."

"So you mean if you guys can't get me to talk then you'll let me be torchured by Hidan?" Sakura asked him.

He smiled and nodded. However at the end of each of the "Good Cops" sessions the members not only didn't get to have Sakura but they only got very small bits of almost useless information. So at the end of the day she was given to Hidan.

Kisame who was the last to see her told the other members her last words were, "Ha, I would rather be killed then see out my village and Hidan is just the dumb ass for the job!"

Kisame shook his head, "She was smiling the whole time. You guys don't think she planed it like that from the moment she was captured do you?"

As he finished his sentence the wall broke open letting a certain pink haired girl escape before any member could react. Later on they found out that Hidan who had lost his temper used his scythe and accidentally cut a chain holding her to the wall.

"I think she planed it," Itachi told Kisame.

The members nodded in agreement. Chicks that survived being around Akatsuki were normally smarter then Akatsuki.