Garrus looked down at where his hands touched hers and felt an odd, unfamiliar warmth fill his stomach. He shouldn't have touched her, shouldn't have held her hands like this. His mind was all but screaming at him to let go but he couldn't find the strength to. She was so soft. So much softer than he had imagined. His hands must have felt like stone to her.

He had always known that humans were a physically soft species. The lectures he'd heard about how weak and frail this "primitive" species was had rang in his head all the time when he was growing up. They were flimsy, puny, wimpy. They were loud and spoke out of turn, always putting their noses in things they had no right to. Humans weren't strong enough. But Garrus didn't believe any of that after he met Shepard.

Compared to Turians with their plating everyone else was soft. Only now was he finally coming to the realization of just how soft humans were. Out of her heavy armor Shepard was all sloping and curving lines. Smooth and forgiving lines. Yes, humans were delicate. Their planet hadn't required them to adapt like his had. He was glad. The warmth and "flimsiness" was something he enjoyed. Shepard was a counterpoint to every negative idea that he had ever heard about humans. It was a miracle that she managed to stay in one piece, keep all that smooth skin attached, with the way she fought.

What Shepard lacked in stature she more than made up for with courage and compassion. She was never the largest or tallest on the battlefield but her words carried enough weight to create moments of cease-fires or to forge new alliances previously thought to be impossible. The idealist in him loved to watch her solve problems for whoever she could but the realist and the worried friend in him sometimes wished she could just keep walking. Garrus would never regret that she had come to find him, though. He would never regret the feeling that swept through him when he spotted her through his scope.

When she had come barreling over that bridge on Omega something lit itself on fire inside of him. Now when they were in the same room together or out on a mission, Garrus couldn't help but to steal a few sweeping looks over his Commander. She'd never noticed. Watching her six gave him the perfect opportunity to look. And he had told himself that they were harmless looks. Two years of thinking she was dead. Two years of missing his friend.

But now, as he finally let her hands go, he wasn't so sure that they were completely innocent once-overs. "Sorry Shepard."

"It's alright," her eyes were softening around the corners, "I thought I lost you. What were you thinking about?"

He figured there was no point in beating around the bush so he took a deep breath before continuing. "Kaidan."

Shepard's eyebrows rose sharply, then fell. She seemed to fall into herself and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "Oh."

"It's just… Shepard why didn't you say anything back there?"

Half-heartedly she turned to a new page in the instruction manual. "Honestly, I have no idea. I just froze."

"Because you two had been so close before?" Something twisted in his chest after the question came out. Some sick part of him needed to know. "Together?"

"What?" The shock in her voice was all the conformation he needed, but it unexpectedly threw him off. "Me and Alenko? You've got to be joking."

Garrus raised his hands in a gesture of peace. "You two just seemed to be together often. Must have read it wrong."

"Well following that flawless logic I'm amazed that no one thought we did anything." He watched her grin at his horrified expression. "Relax, I'm just yanking your chain."

The truth had settled that nervous wave he'd been experiencing ever since Kaidan had rounded that corner back on Horizon. It surprised him how much relief he felt at her reaction. Not that anything was going to change between them. She was his friend, his confidant, his Commander. Even if her joking had given him some false hope, Garrus wouldn't act on it. He valued their relationship as it was far too much to throw it all away. Especially at a time like this.

He looked to the floor for a moment to gather his thoughts. It was obvious that Shepard was ready to talk. Her hands were gripping at the manual, clenching and releasing anxiously. She had been chewing at her bottom lip for several minutes now, a habit she'd had ever since he first met her. She was sitting like a ball of energy waiting to strike.

"It was wrong of Kaidan to say those things. He was wrong."

"He was just doing what he's always done best," she replied glumly.

Garrus couldn't believe or begin to understand why she continued to defend him. "He's best at being an asshole?"

"Alenko has always been loyal to a fault. He was doing just that, Garrus."

"If he was being loyal to a fault he would be here on the Normandy right now, not wherever he ran off to!" He curled his hands into fists to fight off the anger from before. "All he did was doubt you and smear your name through the mud. For all we know he's told the entire Alliance that you're a traitor!"

"Proving his loyalty." She stood and tossed the manual onto the couch, shrugging. "Alenko is an Alliance man. It comes before all else. Even me."

He watched her pace the lower level of the Loft. Her hand were on her hips and she watched her feet with each step. A curtain of her hair had fallen forward, hiding her tired face from his view. Although he couldn't read her human expressions Garrus could tell she was getting ready to tell him something important. Something that had been on her mind for a while. He wasn't sure if he knew this because of his ability to read human body language or if it was because he knew Shepard's mannerisms so well. Before he could come to a proper conclusion she paused and turned to face him.

Even from the couch he could see the moisture gathering at the corner of her eyes. He could hear the unsure wavering that had taken over her normally smooth and confident tone. "What if he was right, Garrus? What if I am just a puppet for Cerberus?"

Air left his lungs as if someone had sucker punched him, his mandibles fluttered in genuine shock. That was what had her so upset. How long before Horizon had she been sitting on that thought? What had she felt when Kaidan had finally put a voice to her largest concern? He rose and made his way to her. She was shaking. From anger or worry he wasn't positive but his heart went out to her and he rested a hand on her pale, shockingly small shoulder.

"How could you ever think that?"

"It's a logical conclusion. Don't lie to me, part of you must have thought the same after I first told you. Why else would they spend billions of credits to bring me back if they couldn't control me in the end?"

"You wouldn't be you if they were able to control you, Shepard. They brought you back because you're the only person in this damn galaxy that could take out the Collectors. You proved yourself when you took out Saren. Regardless of your loyalty they knew you'd get the job done because you care. Because you see the truth, no matter how ugly it is."

She let out a shaky breath but still avoided eye contact, her eyes resting somewhere over his damaged mandible. "But what if there's some code word that they're just waiting to use? What if I'm just a clone? I hate being in the dark, especially when the information I'm missing is about myself."

Garrus didn't know how he could prove anything to this tiny human in front of him. He had to let her know he was there for her, though. Carefully, he put his other hand on her shoulder and pulled her to his body. It was awkward with his heavy armor and limited knowledge of human comforting rituals but he put his all into it. For a time she was as stiff as a bulkhead and he worried that he'd destroyed everything. He sighed and began to let go, accepting his failure, when he felt her hands wrap around his narrow waist. Shepard gripped tightly, pulling herself as close as she could, and he saw the tension in her wither away.

"I don't know what I can tell you to show you that you're still you but just trust me. You're the same Commander Shepard that I remember… only now you've got some fancy new parts."

"Why did you come along after Omega?" Her voice was muffled against his front. "What made you come with me?"

Garrus chuckled bitterly. "Well, as you remember, my team was dead. The entire place wanted me gone with them."

"I'm sorry." If possible, Shepard held him tighter, no doubt remembering her own team on Akuze.

"That," he gingerly reached up and smoothed down her hair, "and when a friend asks for your help you help them. I owe you that much. Plus, I don't trust anyone else to watch your six."

Shepard pulled away and smiled, finally meeting his eyes. "Yeah, me neither. Thank you."

"Anytime, Shepard."

She looked back to the table and then to him. "Lend me a hand?"

"About that. I know I just went on about helping friend when they ask but… Humans and Asari have a one up on us Turians every now and then with those five stubby fingers. Building models has never been one of my strong suits."