Sorry it's taken so long to update! I decided not to go into any detail with regards to the wedding, I had some help from ChryedLover but I still wasn't sure it sounded right so I gave up...
A/N: I didn't actually watch Eastenders when Shabnam was in it, so I have no idea about her character. I really hope she isn't completely different to how I've written her!
Syed brushed his hands down his front again nervously, inspecting himself in the mirror. He looked perfect. Just how he'd always imagined he'd look on his wedding day. But he couldn't bring himself to feel pleased at the image - his stomach was churning too much. He knew it was normal to get cold feet before a wedding, but this was more than that. He was actually dreading it.
"Alright?" Came a voice from behind him as a figure stepped into the room.
Syed turned with a grin. "Shabnam!"
"Hey!" she grinned back and gave him a hug. "Amira's not angry I missed her do last night is she?"
"Nah. Said she couldn't wait to see you."
Shabnam stood back and looked her brother up and down. "Look at you all dressed up."
Syed shrugged, smiling. "Thought I'd make an effort, you know."
"Amira's a lucky girl."
Syed's smile faltered and he turned quickly back to the mirror. "Hmm."
Shabnam considered him for a few seconds. "Makes you think, though. Weddings."
"Think about what?"
"Old friends. What they're doing with their lives, whether they're married yet."
"I suppose."
"Like Danny. You remember, your friend from uni."
Syed froze for a split second. "Yeah, I remember. What about him?"
"Do you think he's married, Syed?" there was something in her tone that was making Syed uneasy.
"How would I know?"
"I saw you."
Syed turned back to his sister, confused. "You're gonna need to be a little more specific, Shab."
She glared at him. "Second year of uni, mid November, your tongue, his throat, ringing any bells?"
Syed looked back at the mirror. "I…I don't know what you're talking about."
"I took the train down to surprise you, and I saw you and Danny looking pretty damn friendly."
"You must be mistaken."
"I know what I saw. Do you know what I saw? Just exactly how graphic do you want me to get here, Syed?"
Syed span round. "Look, it was a joke, ok? A drunken bet."
"You've never been drunk in your life."
"He was drunk, I was just…" he trailed off desperately. Shabnam sighed.
"Look, Syed…I'm not gonna pretend I was happy about it, but come on. I'm not mum; I'm probably the last person who can lecture you about being a 'bad' Muslim."
"I'm not a bad Muslim." Syed snapped.
"I'm not saying you are." Shabnam sighed. "I'm just saying you don't have to pretend with me."
"I'm not pretending." Syed insisted. "I love Amira."
Shabnam nodded, and then the grin was back on her face. "Well, I'd better go and find mum, she'll kill me if I'm not being useful!"
With that she left, leaving Syed alone. He turned back to the mirror, smoothing his hands over the front of his outfit once more.
XXXXXXXX
Christian gazed up at the reception hall, his mouth dry. He didn't know why he was here. All he knew was that when he'd woken up this morning, he'd felt like he had to come.
And even the sight of the building was breaking his heart. To know that inside the man he loved was about to marry someone else, was possibly already going through with the ceremony (he was late, after all), was more than he could bear.
He couldn't let it happen. He couldn't let Syed go through with this, not without making one final fight for him. He wasn't going to go in there and start yelling "it should be me" - he wanted to do this quietly in case he got rejected - but Syed had to know just how much he meant to Christian. Because at the end of the day, that was all he wanted. Nothing else mattered as long as he had Syed.
XXXXXXXX
An usher showed him up to where the wedding was taking place. Christian thanked him and turned to face the double doors. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. He had no idea how he was going to stop the wedding, but he knew that quite possibly his only chance at being happy was on the other side of these doors and if he didn't go for it he'd never forgive himself. He pushed the door open and slipped inside, his eyes instantly drawn to the front of the room.
The imam was talking but Christian could barely even hear him. Syed and Amira were smiling at each other, seemingly at some sort of private joke, and they both looked so happy. So full of joy.
As if sensing he was being watched, Syed glanced over at him and froze. His eyes widened as if in fear and he looked almost pleading. Christian blinked back tears as he offered Syed a small smile and sat down.
"You came!" Jane whispered delightedly in his ear. Then she noticed he was crying. "Christian? What's wrong?"
"Oh, you know me. Always cry at weddings." he tuned everything out and gazed down at his shoes, willing himself to hold it together, to not break down. He felt Jane's concerned gaze on him and straightened up, letting the imam's voice filter through him.
XXXXXXXX
"…do you consent to marry this man?"
Amira smiled, looking at Syed. "Yes."
Zainab smiled proudly. The imam turned to Syed.
"And do you, Syed, consent to marry this woman?"
Syed stared at him for several long seconds, then glanced over to where Christian was sat. The older man was looking resolutely at the floor. He let out a shaky breath. "No." he said softly.
There was a moment of silence that seemed to stretch on forever as everyone slowly realised what they'd just heard. Christian's head shot up to meet Syed's eyes.
"Syed?" Amira sounded so lost and hurt that Syed thought his heart might break for her.
"I'm sorry." he said, turning to face her. "I'm sorry, I can't do this to you."
He got up and practically ran for the door. The hall burst out in a cacophony of voices as everyone tried to work out what was happening.
"Syed!" Amira called desperately after him. She made to stand up but Zainab put out a hand to stop her.
"Wait here." She hurried after her son.
Christian sat blinking for a few seconds, then got up and hurried after them. Footsteps behind him told him Jane had got up as well. He got outside at the same time as Zainab, to see Syed just stood in the street gazing up at the sky.
"Syed!" Zainab strode forwards. Syed looked down, his expression terrified.
"Mum…"
"Syed what are you playing at?!"
"What should I do?"
"You should go back inside and stop being so-"
"Do you think I should marry Amira?"
Christian's stomach jolted when he realised Syed was staring directly at him. He shook his head a fraction.
"Of course I do-" Zainab began, but Syed stopped her.
"Not you." He looked back at Christian. "Well?"
Christian looked furious and strangely defeated. He stared at Syed for a long moment.
"For God's sake, Christian." Zainab snapped. "Will you just say 'yes' so we can go back inside and stop this silly charade?"
"Christian?" Jane looked confused, her gaze fixed on her brother's face.
Christian only had eyes for Syed. Why was he making him do this? In front of Zainab?! He knew perfectly well what his answer should be. He should tell Syed to go back into the mosque and marry the girl waiting for him. He should do what he knew was best for Syed…
"You know what I think."
"I want you to say it."
Christian swallowed hard. "No. I don't."
Syed nodded, his face curiously blank. Then he turned and ran, ignoring Zainab's shouts to come back. She turned on Christian.
"I'll deal with you later." she hissed, hurrying back into the mosque, no doubt to reassure Amira. Christian turned to go back in as well, but stopped when he felt Jane's hand on his arm.
"What the hell was that?" She demanded.
"It doesn't matter."
"It bloody well does! You're not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on!"
Christian wrenched his arm away angrily. "Will you just leave it?! For once in your life just butt out!"
XXXXXXXX
Christian sat slumped against the wall gazing up at the sky. Zainab had refused to let any of the guests leave, but she'd already sent Masood off to check if Syed had gone home or was at the unit. He hadn't been.
He'd had to get out of there. Everyone was confused and had kept asking him what was going on, he hadn't known what to tell them, not to mention the fact that Zainab kept shooting him filthy looks, as did some of the other people he'd seen her talking to. And he was sure that if he'd had to spend another minute listening to Amira's sobbing he'd have gone mad with guilt so he'd come outside. He looked down to where he was cradling his mobile phone in his hands. He needed Syed, and he could only think of one place he might be. Fingers shaking slightly, he dialled the number of his own flat. It rang on, before cutting to voicemail. Christian sighed.
"Sy? It's me. I don't even know if you're there, but you're not answering your mobile and I know you haven't gone home…look, if you're there can you pick up the phone?" he sighed. "Sy I need you here. Everyone's freaking out, and I don't know what to tell them…I don't know what you want me to tell them, but at the moment I'm looking like the world's biggest bunny boiler. Please just…Jane!" he hung up quickly and stood up as Jane wondered out. "What's going on?"
"That's what I'd like to know."
"I'm sorry?"
"I may not be the most intelligent woman there is but I like to think I'm not stupid. And Syed asking you if you think he should marry his girlfriend is not a normal thing to ask your mates."
"What do you want me to say, Jane?" Christian asked wearily.
"I want you to tell me what's going on with you two." Christian remained silent. Jane gasped. "Oh, God, Christian, tell me you haven't…what the hell did you do?"
"I can't." Christian muttered. "I'm sorry."
They stood in silence for several minutes, before Jane turned to him again. "You always want what you can't have, don't you?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Oh Christian…" she put her arm around him. "It's ok; you just need to accept that…"
She looked round as Zainab and Masood stepped outside.
"Any sign of him?"
"Afraid not."
"I think we should call the police." Zainab announced.
"The police?" Masood looked dubious. "What're they going to do?"
"Well I don't know!" she snapped. "But he's missing isn't he? Come on, Masood, get your phone out!"
"There's no need." Came a voice from behind them. They all looked round to see Syed stood behind them. He locked eyes with Christian. "I'm here."