CHAPTER THREE – "Every time you smile, I smile,"
He debated whether or not to call her for over an hour. It was the next day; he didn't want to seem too eager. But on the other hand it wasn't the day after a date; it was the day after a dinner between friends. It still pained him to make that admission. In the end he called her before he could talk himself out of it for the hundredth time. He didn't want to lose her again because he left it too long to call.
"Hello?" She answered, and he couldn't help but smile at the sound of her voice.
"Hey, it's Tony."
"Hi," she answered carefully, eyeing Daniel only meters away from her, sipping coffee and looking at her questioningly, as if to ask who it was.
"Thanks again for dinner, it was really great seeing you," he said quickly, everything he wanted to say coming out at once.
"It was good seeing you too. I have really missed your company," she admitted, and at that, he couldn't help but grin.
"Can't blame you," he joked. "It was good seeing Daniel and Jamie again too. I'm not sure I have seen Jamie since he was a baby," he added. Honestly, he could remember the last time he had seen Jamie specifically, because it had been the last time he had seen Ziva, and that was a day that had been etched in his memory for a lifetime.
"Tony," she smiled, as she opened the door.
"Hey," he tried to smile too, but his mouth wasn't able to twist into that expression. She opened the door for him, revealing Daniel on the couch, holding a three week old James against his chest, who was asleep. He motioned towards the corridor and Ziva nodded, as Tony followed her into the apartment.
"He's just putting James down," she explained.
"How are you?" He asked, as she collapsed on the couch with a sigh.
"Tired," she smiled. "But good,"
Daniel returned, taking a seat next to Ziva, far closer than Tony would have liked.
Daniel began to talk about the joys of fatherhood while Tony nodded here and there, his eyes trained on Ziva. She looked tired, but the happiness in her eyes was unmistakeable, happiness that sent a pang of jealousy to his stomach. All he could think was that he couldn't do this for much longer. Watch them together, all happy and perfect. Ziva staring up at Daniel with unfounded adoration, Daniel boasting about his son. He had somehow become an outsider in her life, and it was a role he couldn't bear. He stayed with them an appropriate amount of time before saying goodbye, shaking Daniel's hand, and hugging Ziva just that little bit tighter than usual, before never returning.
"Has it been that long?" She asked.
She refused to admit to herself how long it had been since she had seen Tony and the rest of the team at NCIS. After Jamie was born she had put all of her effort into being a mother, something that she refused to mess up. Somehow everything but Jamie fell to the wayside. They would call, particularly Tony, but over time it seemed that they had less and less in common. Their days consisted of dead marines and solving crimes, while hers consisted of making lunches and reading bedtime stories.
"It has been too long," she decided.
"Maybe I could have the three of you over for lunch next weekend," he suggested, although he barely had any idea how to cook anything other than pasta, let alone cater for four people. When he was talking to Ziva, it was like words just tumbled out of his mouth before he could think them through.
"That sounds great. Or we could go out for lunch, unless your cooking skills have drastically improved," she laughed, and he couldn't help but join in.
"They haven't," he admitted. "But at least I offered."
"Well I'll talk to Daniel about it and get back to you," she promised.
"Great." There was a moment's pause, and before he could filter them, the words were coming out of his mouth.
"You know, if you ever need someone to babysit Jamie, I'd be happy to do it. I kind of get the feeling you don't get a lot of time off," he offered.
Suddenly he wanted any part of what she had. If he couldn't be with her, he could still be a friend. Do her a favour and get to know her son at the same time.
"That would be great, Tony. You have no idea how long it has been since Daniel and I had an afternoon alone together."
He heard Daniel speaking to her in the background, and tried not to listen, needing no further painful confirmation of their happiness.
"Hold on, Tony," she told him, and he realised she had blocked the receiver because he could no longer hear their conversation.
"Sorry, I'm back," she said, returning moments later. "Would it be too soon to take you up on that offer?" She inquired sheepishly.
"When are you thinking?" He asked, despite knowing that all he had planned for the next week was drinking, complaining that Ziva had a perfect life without him in it, moping, and maybe finding a girl to help him forget his misery for a few hours.
"Tonight?" She asked hopefully, and Tony bit his lip. What was he really going to do? Spend the night in a bar hoping to find a girl to take home and then never call again?
"Daniel was given these tickets from a client, and we weren't going to use them –"
"I'd be happy to." He answered honestly, as he realised he would rather spend the night with Ziva's son.
"Thank you," she sighed in appreciation. Honestly, she hadn't expected Tony to agree to watch Jamie so she could have time alone with Daniel. Maybe things really had changed.
"Could we bring him around at about five? He will probably have fallen asleep by eight at the latest, and we should be back by midnight, I hope." She explained.
"If you want, he could stay the night. Give you two a night by yourselves." He offered. "Seems silly to wake him if he's going to be asleep."
"Tony I can't ask you to do that," she responded.
"Do what?" He heard Daniel ask, and then suddenly the receiver was covered again. As he waited in silence, he was already regretting his offer. But since the words had already left his mouth, he tried to focus on the idea that it would make Ziva happy.
"Hi, Tony," he heard Daniel's voice this time.
"Hey, Daniel." He responded, unable to hide his disappointment that he was no longer talking to Ziva.
"Ziva's not too sure, but if you meant it, I'd love to take you up on that offer. I love Jamie, but a night alone with my wife is too good to pass up."
Wife. It still got to him that some other guy was calling Ziva his wife.
"I completely understand," Tony said, his uncertainty returning as he spoke to Daniel. Now for the rest of the day he wouldn't be able to forget that while he was babysitting Jamie, Daniel would be having sex with Ziva. The fact that he was practically endorsing it by watching Jamie just made the pain in his stomach worse.
"So I'll see you at five?" Tony asked, his tone having deflated significantly over the course of the conversation.
"Yeah, thanks again, man."
Tony hung up, and then looked around his apartment. He had week old pizza boxes stacked up in the kitchen and dirty clothes everywhere. He really didn't think this through. He got two garbage bags, filling one with rubbish, and the other with dirty clothes. He then realised he had nowhere for the kid to sleep. He stripped his bed, putting the sheets into the bag with the dirty clothes. He took the trash out, and then did the laundry. By the time he had remade the bed – lucky kid was going to get his king sized bed while he took the couch – and had cleaned the bathroom and had a shower, it was four thirty. He surveyed his apartment, knowing he had nothing to entertain a four year old. He looked at his DVD collection, severely lacking in DVDs for kids, before deciding they would have to go to the movies.
There was a knock on the door at five past five, and he opened it to find Jamie looking somewhat shy, Ziva looking nervous, but Daniel smiling.
"Hey, Tony," Daniel offered his hand, and Tony shook it.
"How's it going?" Tony asked, looking at mother and son. Ziva was wearing a simple red dress with subtle make up and her hair straight, framing her face. It had been a long time since he had seen her dressed up, and he couldn't believe it wouldn't be him that got to take that dress off her later that night.
"Okay," Ziva let out warily. "It's his first sleepover, and he barely knows you, so he's a bit nervous," she explained.
"He's not the only one," Daniel added, slipping a hand around Ziva's waist.
"Oh, we're going to have a great time!" Tony said overenthusiastically, not sure he was fooling anyone. "Come on in," he opened the door, as the three of them stepped in.
"I don't remember your apartment being this clean," Ziva commented, and he laughed.
"Yeah, I did clean up a bit. Come on through buddy," he said to Jamie, leading him into his room.
"You can put your stuff in here," he said. "This will be your room for the night,"
Jamie looked up at him with a smile. "Really?"
"Yes really," Tony smiled. He could understand why Ziva's face always seemed to light up at the mention or sight of her son. His smile was contagious.
Jamie climbed onto the bed, jumping up and down. "Cool!" He exclaimed.
"Jamie get down from there!" Ziva said, moving to lift him off the bed, now in full blown mother mode – something Tony found hard to adjust to.
He could now see that the dress was backless, and he swallowed, having to put his hands in his pockets to resist the urge to do something stupid.
"Where are you going to sleep?" She asked Tony, and he shrugged.
"I'll take the couch."
"We really should be going," Daniel told Ziva softly and she nodded.
"Okay, come on Jamie, baby time to say goodbye," she told him softly, pulling him into a hug.
"If you need us just call," she said, not letting go although it seemed Jamie was more than ready to.
"I'll miss you, baby," she mumbled, pulling away and looking him in the eye. "Be good for Tony."
"I will, mommy," he promised, as she kissed his cheek.
"See you soon, bud," Daniel said, hugging Jamie too. "We'll come pick him up about nine,"
"Eight," Ziva cut in, and Tony laughed.
"Whenever suits," he said, ushering them out the door. "Now go, so Jamie and I can jump on the bed," he urged, grinning wickedly at Jamie.
"Great. We're leaving our son in the care of a child," Ziva moaned, ready to call off the whole night.
"We'll be fine, Ziva," Tony promised, as they stepped outside.
"Give him something reasonably healthy for dinner, would you?" She asked and he laughed.
"Try not to call a million times," he said, knowing she would.
"Thanks, Tony," Daniel shook his hand again, before Tony closed the door. He turned around, but Jamie had already disappeared.
"Jamie?" He called, only to find him bouncing on the bed again.
He laughed. "Be careful, buddy, if you break your arm or something your mom will kill me."
"Mom wouldn't kill anyone," he said faithfully, and Tony shook his head. In a few years all of this kid's ideals would be shattered.
"Can I watch a movie before I go to bed tonight?" He asked Tony, pointing to the TV in the corner.
"Sure," he said. "In fact, I was thinking you and I could go see a movie tonight, if you want,"
"Really?" Jamie's eyes lit up. "Can we?"
"Absolutely. We can even grab some pizza on the way home. Unless you'd rather I come home and cook you something healthy like your mom said,"
Jamie made a face, and Tony laughed. "Sounds like a plan."
. . . . .
Half an hour later they were looking up at the movie times, Tony desperately searching for some kind of kids movie.
"Can we see this one?" Jamie asked, pointing to the movie poster.
"Whatever you want," Tony answered, after seeing the poster. Cartoon. Couldn't go wrong there, could he?
He successfully convinced Jamie that he didn't need a snack for the movie because they were having pizza for dinner, something he was strangely proud of. Jamie was stubborn, just like his mother, and Tony had never been able to convince Ziva of anything.
Jamie loved the movie, and seemed completely wired, feeding off excitement and a sugar high.
"Alrighty bud, how about we find us some pizza?" Tony asked, as they drove to the pizza place, after deciding on pepperoni, being Jamie's favourite.
"Do you love my mommy?" Jamie asked, and Tony frowned, his eyes flickering to the rear view mirror to look at Jamie. This was a four year old, what the hell did he mean?
"Yes. She's a very good friend," he answered carefully.
"Then why'd I only meet you yesterday? Mommy meets all my friends."
"Well…" Tony began, unsure of how to finish. "Your mom used to be my best friend. But then she married your daddy, and had you, and she had to spend her time looking after you."
"Who is your best friend now?" Jamie asked, and Tony shrugged.
"I don't know, bud," he answered, trying to end the conversation.
"I can be your best friend." He offered, and Tony smiled as he watched his brown eyes light up in the rear-view mirror. Ziva's eyes.
"That would be great," he answered, his smile widening into a grin.
. . . . .
"Maybe I should call and check up on him," Ziva suggested again on their way home. She had already tried to call three times – twice Daniel had stopped her, and the other time the call had gone straight to voice mail.
"It's after eleven, he's asleep," Daniel told her, and she rolled her eyes.
"That's what I want to check. Tony could have him up watching all sorts of movies. He's probably corrupting our son," she said as she searched for her phone in her purse.
"You trusted him with your life for seven years, and you don't trust him to watch Jamie for one night?" He questioned.
"This is different… It's Jamie."
They arrived home, and she flicked on the lights of their all too quiet and empty apartment.
"I miss him," she admitted, hanging her coat on the door, and moving into the kitchen, taking a bottle of water out of the fridge.
"Really?" He answered sarcastically.
"Haha," she responded dryly.
"I guess I'll just have to make you forget." He grinned, making his way over to her and capturing her lips with his. When they broke apart she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.
He lifted her softly, placing her on the bench. He pulled her legs so they were wrapped around his waist, before kissing her neck.
"We couldn't do this if Jamie was here," he reminded her with a chuckle and she bit her lip, wondering why when she was standing here with her husband, all she could think of was Tony.
A/N:
1. Yay for iheartiva, Stella Celeste Taylor and MegpieLovesTiva (and Tiva. Ncis. Luv) who got Back to December as the song that last chapter's name came from. What's this one? :P
2. I got more reviews for the last chapter than I've ever got for one chapter before, so THANKYOU! It seriously made me so happy, keep them coming :)
3. You'll have to be patient with the Tiva (sorry), but it'll come.