AN: like I said before, I lost all my shit to my other story so I wont be able to complete it just yet until I figure out how I wanna change it. it wont be the same as it is now and sorry about that but I gotta do what I gotta do.

Don't like it? oh well. sorry for your loss. Again I don't own any of this shit except the new characters that I put in this story. :]

CHAPTER THREE

I woke up freaking out.

I was dreaming of my mother. She was smiling at me we were back in our old home and she was gardening with my dad next to her. She looked full of life and looked so peacefully happy. Tears were streaming down my face as I got up, ignoring the little paper that was next to me. I wiped my face and looked around. I could still hear music playing and I figured I was still in the club. Angry now, I got my stuff and tried to get the door open.

"fucking door, why won't you fucking open!" I yelled at no one. I walked backwards a bit then kicked the shit out of the door handle. It went down with a bang and I opened pushed open the door and tried making my way out. I could see alice dancing with some tall blond guy and rosalie was with emmett. I ignored then and rushed out of their. The cold air hit me and I welcomed it. I needed it.

I ran to my car and threw my purse in the backseat. Putting my seatbelt on I turned on the car and speeded out of their. At one point I thought I saw the DJ from earlier leaning against the wall smoking a cigarette but I didn't dwell on it. I had somewhere to go, and badly.

I parked right outside of the cemetery and sat there for a while.

Finally getting the courage I needed I turned off the car and made my way to where my mother was. she had passed away before I turned 21 and it still hurt as if it was yesterday. I kneeled down to the ground and wiped off the dirt on her thumb stone. I sighed and started playing with my fingers not sure how I wanted to start. "hi mom.." my voice cracked a bit but I cleared it. "things are going so good. I broke up with Jacob. I knew how much you hated him" I laughed a bit, thinking back to how much my mother hated him. She was upset I moved out and let him move in with me. "but he won't leave me alone. He follows me everywhere. But I still have the dogs dad gave to me. they help me out a lot" I stopped and placed my hand on the ground right above where she was "I miss you..so much" I started to cry and I was glad no one was there. "I don't know what to do! I feel like I'm fucking everything up and I just..can't do this without you" I cried for the loss of my mother, I cried for the loss of my father, he up and left me when mom passed away and have no idea where he is or if he is still alive. I cried for everything that happened today. I cried for myself and everything else in between that.

There was a light waving around then I heard alice screaming "ugh I fucking hate mud! Rose tell me why we are here again!" alice never been to my moms grave, she didn't even know my mom passed away, just rose she was there with me when I said my final goodbye. "shut up alice! you're not letting the dead sleep!" I heard two other people laughing then the light was on my face. I cringed away from it trying to cover my face. "oh my poor baby" rose said sadly as she rushed to me and dropped to her knees and hugged me to her. I didn't think I had more tears to shed but as soon as she hugged me I balled like a baby. she tried to calm me down and rubbed my back. as soon as I was done she pulled away from me and made a weird face "you look horrible. You're covered in mud! Come on, let's get you home and into a nice hot bubble bath"

She lifted me up and held onto me. I ignored everyone there and just walked with her. She got to my car and put me in the passenger and she got into the driver side. The ride home was quiet.

I laid in the bathtub with the hot water and the bubbles floating everywhere. Rose stayed with me while everyone else was downstairs with alice. "What happened Bells?" she asked as she washed my hair. I had my knees up to my chest and laid my head to the side tears coming down freely. "I don't even know. I woke up and just..left. I didn't notice me going to my moms grave until it was too late." She smiled sadly at me and wiped my tears away. We stayed quiet for a minute until rose said something "so how was that kiss?" I turned beet red and tried to hide my face but I couldn't since rose was washing it "it was.."

"amazing? Fucking hot?" rose laughed as she said that and I nodded. Once I got out the tub rose wrapped me in a pink fluffy robe and dried up my hair. Once I was dressed me and rose headed down the stairs where I heard someone playing the guitar. I stopped rose just so I could listen before I got down there.

"I found you, something told me to stay. I gave in, to selfish ways and now I miss someone to hold.

When hope begins to fade, a lonely road, crossed another cold state line. Miles away from those I love purpose hard to find"

I smiled. That voice was amazing. Rose looked at me and smiled "come on, let's join the party" I laughed and continued down the stairs. The guy playing the guitar had on a gray hoodie on and I couldn't see his face but him and the other tall blond I saw alice dancing with were so into the song they didn't notice me and rose come in. "Bella!" alice said happily and the guitar stopped. He looked up and I froze in my place. It was him! The sexy goddess who kissed me today! I wanted to say something but that blond guy cut in "Bella, my name is jasper, and this guitar dude next to me, is edward" Edward..that fit him. "nice to meet you. oh fuck! I'm sorry would you like something to drink? I got beer wine, vodka, orange juice, soda milk water" I started naming everything I had to drink because I got so nervous. Edward kept looking at me with this look, like he wanted me. like an animal claiming his prey. "uh beer would be fine. what about you edward?" I looked at edward and tried to smile, my palms were getting sweaty and my heart wouldn't calm down. "I'll have a beer as well Bella" my knees almost gave out with the way he said my voice, rose had to catch me and I blushed beet red from embarrassment. "okay" I walked well rushed into my kitchen and stuck my face in the freezer, hoping to calm down a bit.

you can do this bells! Grow some balls and get back in there!

Get your head in the game!

I took a few beers out and some chips and other snacks so we can munch on. I squared my shoulders and decided to act like he didn't affect me.

Bring it on sex on legs! You cant handle me!

"Dear god, the only thing I ask of you is to hold her when I'm not around

When I'm much too far away. We all need that person who can be true to you

I left her when I found her and now I wish I'd stayed. 'cause I'm lonely

And I'm tired.

I'm missing you again oh no..once again"

-Avenged sevenfold "Dear God"

Hope it was good! Let me know!