Chapter Three: Are You on Drugs?

I woke up and frowned glancing around before realising where I was. I nestled closer to him smiling as he muttered incoherently in his sleep.

"Shh no we need more chocolate stars" Sirius mumbled. I smiled then slowly went to climb off him. He gripped me tighter.

"It's ok… I'm just going to get chocolate stars" I whispered and felt his grip loosen on me. I carefully got off him and stumbled tiredly into the kitchen. It was about nine in the morning so I'd gotten around about enough sleep if I added the hours before I got here.

I pulled open a few cupboards to see if I could make any breakfast. I was quite thankful this was a muggle flat. I'd never been to a dedicated pureblood's flat but I doubted they'd have needs for fridges and stoves when with the flick of a wand they had what they needed. I pulled open a few cupboards and found a few basic ingredients. After checking the fridge I saw I could make pancakes. I looked around for a frypan to make sure I could cook them before making the batter.

I'd always been a morning person. And even after a basically sleepless night I was still feeling pretty chipper. I knew I'd probably crash and burn by tonight but that didn't matter.

I was standing at the bench stirring when the bedroom door opened.

"Hey" Regulus said I glanced at Sirius then back at Regulus.

"Oh sorry" he whispered and quietly crept over.

"What are you doing?"

"Making pancakes" I replied

"You can make them?" he asked then shook his head. "I mean-"

"I know what you meant yes you can do it from scratch" I said indicating to the ingredients I had on the bench.

"So do you usually spend the night?" Regulus asked. I shook my head

"So we're both unaware of what Sirius is like in the morning"

"Yeah I doubt it'll be too horrible but just in case I have pancakes to calm him" I said and Regulus smiled looking more like his handsome older brother then ever.

"So he was pretty mad at you?" I asked quietly.

"Shocker" he said dryly. "I don't hate you Lily"

"I know" I said and stopped stirring placing the bowl to the side so it could set a little. I began to pack up the things I'd used.

"Lily…"

"You don't have to explain your actions. Your life is yours to do with it what you wish" I said looking at him. He nodded and stared down at the bench.

Right now he looked almost like a stranger; he was obviously deeply worried and disturbed by something judging by the lines on his pale face. The grey eyes he shared with his brother were dark as he thought deeply.

Sirius groaned from the couch causing me and Regulus to look over at him.

"Morning" he muttered his fringe sticking up on the right because he'd slept on it funny.

"Are you cooking?" he asked falling off the couch and then calmly walking over to us.

"Pancakes" I said

"Aw thank you baby" he said kissing my forehead "do you want to have a shower?"

"I'm good"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I assume your going to make me stay here for the whole day. So there is no chance I'll give you any opportunity to see me naked. And no, that is not a challenge" I said he pouted then looked at Regulus.

"You go have a shower" he said

"Aka go away so we can make-out" Regulus muttered Sirius just put his hand over his brother's face and pushed him away before turning to me.

"So Lillian what do you wish to do today?"

"Well it's your birthday so whatever you want is fine" I said.

"Whatever I want?" he asked.

"Sirius-"

"You were more then willing yesterday!" he pointed out.

"Yes but that was before I realised my boyfriend was a kind sweet man who would be faithfully patient with me" I said with a grin then began to heat up the fry pan on the stove to cook the pancakes.

"Damn" he muttered.

"So it's your birthday… and you've got a whole day with me. And even if you wasted half of it sleeping it still counts" I said pouring bits of the batter onto the frypan and held the spatula ready to flip the pancakes.

"I know" he said sadly making me smile. He wrapped his arms around my waist and rested his head on my shoulder.

"They'll burn if you distract me" I muttered he said nothing and began to kiss my neck. There was a soft tapping on the window and we both turned. A small owl sat tapping the window.

"Birthday gifts?" I asked as Sirius walked over to the window to let it in. It dropped its gift on the bench before flying off out the window. Sirius walked over to it and yelped when he turned it over.

"What?"

"It's from my parents" he said in disgust. I frowned at him then looked at the letter in the table.

"Open it" I said

"I'm stupid Lily not retarded" he said I stared at him and he sighed picking it up.

I nodded then turned back to the pancakes and flipped a few of them relieved they were nice and golden brown like they should be. I looked back at Sirius who was reading the letter his brow furrowed in confusion.

"Is it bad news?" I asked as he lowered the letter looking even more confused.

"Uh… it's from my parents" he said

"What did they say?" I asked

"Well just best wishes for my life, I'm off the family tree, don't fuck up the family name anymore. You know the usual kind of thing" he said I stared at him trying to figure out if he needed something to hit or a hug.

"They haven't written anything to me in over a year and haven't spoken to me in even longer" he said sitting down on a stool at the bench. I flipped the pancakes onto a plate and put them down in front of him.

"You're not telling me everything" I said leaning on the bench so I was a little closer to him.

"Well… they're throwing me a party apparently" he said I stood up straight staring down at him.

"What?"

"I know. Taking into consideration their immense dislike of me I think it's fairly safe to assume it's a trap" he said frowning at the letter he'd left on the bench.

"You think mum and dad would try to kill you?" Regulus asked walking over to sit beside his brother. I turned back to the pancake batter so I could cook some more for Regulus.

"I wouldn't put it past them" Sirius said

"I'd go with you but this lovely thing on my arm is preventing me from doing so" Regulus said bitterly.

"Wouldn't they welcome you with honours?" I asked turning to look at Regulus. The Black brothers both stared at me with identical looks on their faces.

"I don't understand how dysfunctional family's… you know… function" I mumbled turning back to the pancakes.

"They don't" they both said.

"Enough about our family tell me about yours" Sirius said

"You met them" I said flipping the pancakes over so I wouldn't have to look at him.

"No I met the fake version. The version they project to guests. In fact I think your sister was the only one being real" he said.

"Yes she doesn't care who hates her. It's a nice way to live your life. I couldn't do it personally" I said.

"Hey… how old are you?" Regulus asked I looked at him then realised he was talking to Sirius.

"You don't know how old your brother is?" I asked

"How old is your sister?" Regulus asked

"Twenty-one" I replied.

"Oh well… how old are you?" Regulus asked Sirius.

"Seventeen"

"Seventeen! That means-" Regulus began but Sirius put his hand over his mouth then smiled at me.

"That I can use magic outside school. Yes it does, well done, Regulus" he said still smiling. I looked at him sceptically.

"Spill it"

"It's just pureblood tradition that's all. Gift from my ancestor's blah, blah, blah" Sirius said airily and released his brother

"What?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it love" he said.

"It's fine… I should be getting home soon anyway" I said.

"Really? You can't stay?" Regulus asked I frowned at him

"Your already in trouble what are they going to do ground you more?" Sirius asked.

"Probably… have a nice day; I'll probably see you again at school ok?" I said he pouted at me.

"Sirius… I have to go" I said he nodded still looking miserable. I shook my head and went to the door.

I heard a small whine from Sirius that made me laugh

"You're like a puppy" I said he beamed "still leaving"

He looked like a small child who'd been denied a sweet. I ignored him

"Sirius my dad will kill me" I said pulling open the door and Sirius gasped. I spun around in alarm.

"There's no one there" he assured me I glared at him and then left the flat.

I'm not what most people would call a bad girl. I mean I've never been grounded before in my life. And well in comparison to my sister I'm a saint. I'd never been in trouble at school; my parents hadn't even had letters about me.

So it was of course no surprise that when I did get home at noon my parents were sitting at the table ready for what I assumed was an intervention. I'd participated in many on Petunia's behalf.

I almost jumped when I saw my sister sitting where I usually sat after she'd climbed in through a window after a long night.

"Morning guys" I said hoping they'd assume I'd just come from my bedroom. They did not.

"Sit down please Lily" mum said. I sat opposite my family feeling very isolated as they glared at me from across the table. I knew of course why I sat alone; there was no escape, no help.

"I'm sure you know why you're here" mum said quietly.

"No" I said honestly. I sort of did…

I sneak out once and I get an intervention, how is that fair?

"We're worried about your behaviour" mum said

"You have to take everything from me don't you? I'm the screw up!" Petunia snapped. My parents frowned at her.

"Tuni don't defend that title" dad muttered.

"Dad… I…"

"I cancelled work when I noticed my baby girl not in her bed!" dad said. "You were in his bed weren't you?"

"No I was on the couch" I said then cringed. I'd just stuffed up my excuse. My parents gasped.

"I didn't want to go he made me!" I said

"He kidnapped you?" mum asked going extremely pale.

"No!" I cried.

"Look… uh you know when I get really mad and sometimes things explode" I said. My family nodded slowly, I could see by the look on their faces they were trying to gauge how mad I was at the moment.

"Well it can really happen with any wizard when they feel any emotion strong enough. Its wand less magic, pretty advanced to trigger it wilfully most people just do it by accident. So Sirius, by accident, transported me to his flat" I said.

"What was he feeling so strongly? Oh wait I got it never mind" Petunia said while my parents both looked very embarrassed.

"I'm sure that's not what he was thinking" I said.

"Still it's not excusable. You should have transported yourself right home" dad said after an awkward pause.

"I don't have my licence" I said

"You don't have a car either" dad pointed out.

"No my Apparation licence… its how wizards travel. It's like teleporting" I said.

"Are you on drugs? Is that it?" mum asked.

"What!" I cried

"You don't have to be high to be happy sweetie" mum said starting to cry.

"I'm not on drugs!"

"Then why are you dating a criminal? And sneaking out at ungodly hours?" mum asked on the verge of hysterical.

"I just explained!" I cried then fell silent and stared at my parents.

"You're over reacting. I've only ever been out at night once and it wasn't my fault!"

"We want to help you" mum said

"The only thing I need help with is my potions homework!" I snapped.

"We'd like you to speak to Petunia's psychiatrist… we scheduled a meeting later this week" mum said. I sighed. Great my parents think I'm a drug addicted psychopath. I'll never be allowed back to Hogwarts.

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"Did he help?" dad asked as I walked into the house with mum.

"He said we'd over reacted" mum muttered "told us we were stressed. Said I should try and get some and told Lily to masturbate"

"He says that to everyone" Petunia said "it helps relieve stress"

"Thank you Tuni" mum said quietly.

"Right well… sorry about that one Lily" dad said.

"It's all right. You're just doing your civic duty to keep drugies such as myself off the street" I said "I'm going to go relieve some stress!" and with that I walked into my room slamming the door behind me. I lay down on my bed glaring at the ceiling. You look up paranoid in the dictionary and my parents pictures will be there.

"Lily?" I heard mum call as she knocked on my door.

"Can't a girl get high in peace?" I asked.

"Sweetheart we know your upset…" dad said.

"Great! Good now let me wallow" I said. I heard them walk off and closed my eyes deciding the only way to survive the rest of this God-awful summer was to sleep through it.

I woke up panting and oddly aroused. Heat was pulsing through my body and a burning pleasure was strong in my abdomen. I clutched the sheets as my back arched off the bed and cried out as waves of pleasure washed over me. I screamed as I climaxed and screamed louder when I saw Sirius lying in between my legs.

I was still breathing heavily as his fingers slipped out of me.

"Oh my God" I breathed. He crawled up the bed his knees resting beside my hips and his hands next to my head.

"Wow you're a screamer" he said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly. That sentence took a lot of concentrating; I could still fell soft waves pulsing through me. He just smiled and kissed me. He moved down to my neck and I moaned feeling heat begin to grow in my stomach.

"Oh my God my parents must've heard" I said and went to sit up but Sirius didn't move an inch so I lay back down and stared up at him.

"Silencing charm… and your door is locked so no unwanted visitors"

"Yet here you are" I muttered.

"You enjoyed that" he said.

"That wasn't consensual"

"Actually you kept saying, yes oh god yes" he said doing a rather horrible impersonation of me. I leant up and kissed him softly before falling back onto my pillows. He smiled and began to kiss me again. My breath hitched as he moved down to kiss along the top of my dress. He kissed me reassuringly on the lips before slipping his hands underneath and slowly lifted the hem leaving a trail of kisses on the skin he exposed.

"Just tell me if you want to stop" he whispered in my ear. I nodded my nerves combining with my excitement practically choking me.

He pulled the dress over my head and took my face in his hands kissing me softly. He sat up straddling me his hands fiddling with the bottom of his shirt.

"Do you want to do this?" he asked. I stared at the pale bit of skin he'd just revealed then looked back up at his face. I nodded and he gave me a sly grin. He kissed me his strong hands roaming freely over my torso. I bit my lip as he rubbed my breast kissing and licking his way down to my stomach. He sat up again his hands fiddling with his belt.

"Last chance… are you sure about this?" he asked I looked at him and the bulge in his pants indicating which way he'd like this to go. I looked into his eyes and nodded.

"Can I get some verbal confirmation love?" he asked. I nodded making him laugh.

I took a deep breath knowing how he wanted me to respond. My own body nearly on fire in anticipation so I knew how it wanted me to respond.

"I… I want you to fuck me" I said

"Oh that is so hot" he said kissing me fiercely and all the remaining clothes were rapidly shed. A quick contraceptive charm was cast and he began to kiss along my jaw.

"This will be a bit uncomfortable but I'll try not to hurt you" he whispered in my ear.

"That is not going to fit" I said he smiled and kissed me

"It will. Just relax" he assured me. I bit my lip and let out a yelp when he pushed into me.

"You all right?" he asked

"Yeah" I breathed, he pushed in more and I winced.

"Oh fuck" he said I stared at him in alarm. "Don't worry, relax… your doing so well"

His breathing ragged and quick in my ear as he pushed in more making me scream. His lips covered mine so I screamed into his mouth. He thrust the rest in quickly and I screamed again but his tongue in my mouth pretty much silenced it. He stopped, fully inside me now so I could get used to him a little bit before he pulled out slightly and thrust back in making me moan mostly in discomfort. He set up a steady rhythm slow at first but as I got used to it and began to moan softly he quickened his pace. It wasn't long before he was groaning in my ear whispering unimportant nothings in my ear. With a strangled cry he came, spilling his warm seed deep within me. He thrust into me a few more times until I screamed my release and he gently pulled out of me.

"Wow" I breathed taking in long deep breaths as I tried to steady my breathing.

"You're amazing" Sirius said I looked at him, his satisfied looking grin and kissed him softly.

"Thanks…" I muttered "that was… wow"

"Yeah… you know next time you can actually touch me at some point" he said I wrapped my arms around him and pulled myself closer with my head resting on his chest.

"Sorry, I was nervous, I mean you touching me was daunting" I muttered he smiled. I stood up going to find some clothes or something only to fall flat on the floor.

"Uh… am I going to be able to walk again?" I asked looking at him.

"Yes" he assured me and helped me up from the floor and under the covers where he joined me wrapping his arms around me. I rested my head on his chest letting my eyes droop shut.

"No surprise attacks" I murmured.

"None?" he asked I chuckled softly and soon fell asleep on top of him.

I woke up feeling strangely relaxed and quickly glanced around. Sirius was standing in front of my bookshelf reading the Wizard of Oz.

"Hi" I said he jumped and looked at me.

"They really don't like this witch"

"She's wicked" I said simply.

"Is this what you muggles grow up on… no wonder your parents are wary" he muttered. I stretched and sat up holding the covers up over my chest. He walked over and sat beside me putting an arm around my shoulders.

"How long was I asleep?" I asked

"Only an hour" he replied.

"Thanks for sticking around…"

"I couldn't leave you. Plus your parents are out there and I think it'd be a little weird if I just waltzed through the house half naked" he said I smiled.

"Did you want a shower?" I asked

"Trying to say something Ms Evans?" he questioned sounding quite affronted. I raised my eyebrows and picking up my dress from the floor slipping easily into it.

"You can go home of course" I muttered. He may not want a shower but I did, I went to look through my drawers to find some clean clothes to change into.

He grabbed me around the waist and pulled me back onto the bed pinning me down with his hands and legs. He kissed me fiercely I moaned and pulled away from him.

"I…" was all I could cough out but he understood climbing off me and simply kissing me softly.

"I'm going to shower" I said

"May I join you?" he asked wriggling his eyebrows suggestively making me laugh.

"No but I do have to sneak you out so please put on some clothes" I said. He sighed dramatically and began to find all his clothes.

With him close behind me I quietly opened the door and glanced around.

"Mum?" I called, no response

"Dad?" silence.

"We're good" I said.

"You smell like sex" I screamed and turned around staring at my sister who grinned at us.

"Hello Sirius" she said brightly.

"Petunia" he said coughing and looking down at me.

"So, details… are you a virgin?" Petunia asked me

"That's none of your business"

"That's a big yes. Aw Lily you're all grown up" she said cheerfully then looked at Sirius.

"How'd you do it?" she asked

"Ordinarily… didn't want to freak her out"

"Yeah first time my boyfriend tried to-"

"Hey don't you have a wedding to plan?" I interrupted.

"Yeah… I'm proud of you… and honestly, don't you feel more relaxed?" she asked and walked off to her room. I spun around and looked at Sirius

"I like her" he said I snorted and allowed him to pull me close.

"I think I will take that shower" he said

"Ok… I'll wait" I said

"No… you won't" he said taking my hand and leading me down to the bathroom.

"How do you know where my bathroom is?" I asked

"Process of elimination. I've seen your room; the kitchen and the lounge room and know that's Petunia's room. So it's one of these three doors" he said pointing to them.

"Linen closet, parent's bedroom" I said pointing them out.

"Oh lets do it in your parent's bedroom" he said

"No way!" I cried he smiled

"I'm joking" he said and opened the bathroom door and pulled me to him closing the door with his foot and pushing me against it. He kissed me softly not trying anything shifty just kissing me softly with his hands on my hips.

I heard the front door open and my parents chattering fill the hall. Sirius pulled back slightly his breath tickling my cheek.

"Oh Tuni have you seen Lily?" mum asked.

"Yeah she's in the bathroom… I'll go grab her" Petunia said, I could almost hear the glee in her voice. She knocked on the door.

"Lily… can I come in?" she asked. I stepped away from the door while Sirius stepped to the side and I pulled open the door and stepped into the hallway.

"You have a visitor…" she said and pointed over her shoulder where Serverus Snape stood I squealed and hurried into the bathroom.

"You have to go" I said to Sirius.

"What? Who is it? It's not your cute muggle boyfriend is it?" he asked I shook my head.

"Just go" I said and hurried into the hall again while Petunia smiled a nasty little grin.

I hurried into the kitchen.

"Hi Serverus" I said

"Hi Lily" he said quietly.

"We felt really bad about the psychiatrist thing. Then I remembered you saying you need help with your potions and well the only wizard we know is young Serverus here so we thought we'd ask him round for you" mum said brightly.

"Thanks" I said while Petunia snorted.

"Uh… well let's head over to my room… to study" I said glaring at Petunia who winked as I walked past Serverus trailing behind me. I led him to my room and shut the door.

"Sorry about my parents" I said.

"Its fine… better then being around mine" he muttered. I smiled and sat on my bed indicating for him to take the desk chair.

Serverus Snape was in my year at Hogwarts. He lived pretty close by and was actually the first wizard I ever met. He's helped me out a lot in helping me understand the wizarding world and was also my first friend, sad I know but it's true.

He was taller then me by a few good inches and was often hunched over his latest experiment. There was no denying he was intelligent he always had something to say though very often he didn't. His black hair fell loosely around his face and his dark eyes stared intently at the ground as we sat in an awkward silence. I wanted desperately to say something but nothing came to mind.

When we got to Hogwarts we seemed to drift apart as we got sorted into different houses and although every summer we did try to see each other it was just getting harder.

"So what are you having trouble with?" he asked. There was a loud crack I screamed and turned around to find Sirius leaning casually on my dresser.

"For starters that guy" I said to Serverus who was looking at Sirius with distaste.

They didn't get along to great.

"Wow… two hours after I slept with you and you've already run off to someone else" Sirius said. I groaned.

"God Sirius! You can have your petty squabbles I don't care but do not use me to try and get a rise from him!" I snapped glaring at him. He looked at his shoes and muttered and apology.

"Lily-"

"Don't you start!" I said turning to Serverus. He fell silent.

"Great… now Sirius if you want we can talk later" I said looking at him he nodded silently.

"Or we could just talk now" he muttered.

"Go home Regulus must've broken something by now go yell at him" I said. He nodded and walked over to me going to kiss me but I leant back.

"I see" he said quietly and disappeared with a crack.

I turned to Serverus.

"Sorry… so yes potions…" I said.

"Do you really want to talk about our potions homework?" he asked.

"God no!" I said resting my head in my hands.

"Can we just talk? Like we used to?"

"What? Whinging about our lousy families and what a prat Potter is?" Serverus asked.

"Yeah" I said.

"Sure" he said I smiled.

It was nice. I hadn't had many people to talk to over summer and I'm not usually one to surround myself with heaps of friends. At school I'm a bit of a loser and at home I'm even worse.

We spoke for hours, I told him about my parent's latest surge of paranoia and he said his dad was back in rehab.

"I think you win" I said

"Yeah" he agreed. We settled into a comfortable silence and remained so until he had to head home.

"I'd forgotten how nice it was to talk to you" I said leaning in the door way as he stood on my front porch.

"Me too…" he said.

"You will try to take my advice right?" I asked

"Yes" he promised.

"Well… I hope to see you soon…" I said

"Yeah… I love you" he said I stared at him.

"No! No like a sister. I just… you're like the sister I never got to have… I appreciate it that's all"

"Oh…" I said with a smile "well I love you like the brother I never got"

"So… see you" he said

"Uh Lily… you know… during summer… but… at school…"

"Yeah…" I said quietly. We both stared at each other, simultaneously realising this is the last time we'd ever truly see each other.

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I'm trying to update every fortnight or so as school is just getting crazy busy.

Anyway… weird chapter I know but it's one in the morning and I'm tired but I had to finish because I knew my faithful reviewers would need to review. So review please, Penny

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