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Chapter 3

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Vash was slightly nervous as he peered around at his new surroundings. He had been taken to a small white room by the two burly men from the bus. The room's only contents were a metal chair that was screwed to the floor very tightly and a regular wooden desk with a regular looking chair and a regular looking tall young doctor man sitting in it.

"Hello mister—"The doctor looked down at a piece of paper, "—Vash….last name not listed…hmm."

Vash watched the doctor who wore a white coat as he combed through a file that Vash assumed was his. He winced as he was sat and strapped into the metal chair that was very cold.

"Hello, sir." The doctor began politely, "My name is Dr. Brainstern and I will be your Psychiatric advisor for your regulation Psych-Evaluation."

Vash had a fleeting thought about making some comment about the guy's weirdo name.

"I will be asking you a series of questions," the psychiatrist stated, "Based on your answers I will evaluate whether you are mentally competent or not. Let's begin."

Vash fidgeted in his seat. They had tied his leather straps a bit too tight.

"Name?" the doctor began with pen and paper in hand.

Vash made a weird face at the man, "But, you already said my name a second a go!"

The doctor frowned slightly and spoke more firmly, "Name?"

"Vash." Spoke Vash unenthusiastically.

"Last name?" the doctor said, adjusting the glasses on his face.

"Uh…" Vash panicked not really knowing what to say, "Uh…um…uh…Stampede?"

"Ok…" the doctor said as he scribbled on the paper, "Mr…Vash…Stampede…"

"Occupation?" he continued.

Vash stared at his psychiatrist blankly. His mind was also blank. Occupation? Occupation! Vash racked his mind trying to think, but he could not remember ever holding a single real actual paying job for any amount of time.

"Uh…uh….uh…" Vash looked at the ceiling….

"Um…uh….um…um…um…um…" Vash was drawing a blank. He rolled his eyes looking for answers from the blank floors to the blank walls to the blank ceiling.

For a moment Vash contemplated giving an answer of "bum", "wanted man", or "donut fiend", but luckily he thought of something better.

At the top of his lungs Vash shouted, "I AM A WARRIOR OF LOVE & PEACE!"

He probably would have stood up and given a bunch of goofy hand signals and cute poses if he was not tied up in a straight jacket. But he made do with a ridiculous smile.

The doctor could only gape at Vash with a raised eyebrow. If he didn't think Vash was short a few marbles before, he thought so now.

Slightly composing himself, the psychiatrist slowly replied as he once again picked up his pen and paper, "I'll…just put you down as…'retired'."

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Meanwhile, Meryl and Milly had returned to Bernadeli on a very fast bus.

"Well, Meryl," Milly said as she looked up at the Insurance building, "What now?"

Meryl thought for a moment and pointed down the street, "Let's head for the library down that way…they should have some Law books there to research."

They walked down the street for a few minutes before Milly broke the silence.

"I've got an idea, Meryl!" Milly yelled, smiling as she tossed her arms in the air consequently dropping the travel bag she had been holding.

Meryl looked at her friend then at the bag on the ground, "If it involves pudding… the answer is no." She said crossing her arms, "We don't have time right now."

"Oh no, silly," Milly said smiling, "I thought of a surefire way to save Vash!"

"Really?" Meryl asked in a very surprised manner. She never figured Milly for a big idea person.

"Yeah!"

"Well, spill it!" Meryl said slightly excited.

"Well," Milly started get closer to Meryl so she could whisper into her ear.

"Yes?" Meryl said listening closely.

Milly looked around then sudden said, "All we need is a turtle!"

"WHAT!?!" Meryl yelled as she fell over backwards, "A turtle, Milly?! What in the world are you talking about—"

Milly interrupted Meryl and began speaking nonstop in a matter-of-fact way, "I read about a turtle in a book once! They are an animal that people used to keep as pets and I think there were a few on the old spaceships but the important thing is that they live a really long time so that if we find somebody on Gunsmoke that has a descendent of one of the turtles that was on the old spaceships, then we can find one that is like 85 or older—"

Meryl was looking more and more dazed and confused as Milly rambled on.

"—and once we find that old turtle we can take it to the mayor and say 'aren't you going to put Mr. turtle in the Old Folk's Home?' and then he'd said 'no' cause hey it's a turtle so then we could say but 'hey it's the law' and the turtle is a person because that is what the family of the turtle consider him to be and so on until we force them to either send Mr. turtle to live with old people or change the law to say that only humans are to be sent to the Old Folk's Home—"

"—and since Vash is a non-human life form…he'll be saved! Yea!" Milly smiled and threw her arms in the air once again.

Meryl was speechless.

"So, Meryl" Milly asked, "What do ya think of my idea?"

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Back at the Psych-Evaluation…

"Year?"

"Huh?"

"I want you to tell me what year it is," the doctor said slightly annoyed. "The date!"

"I dunno." Vash said plainly.

"Ugh!" The doctor grunted as he looked to be making big marks on the paper.

A bead of sweat slid down the side of Vash's face, "I'm not…doing badly am I?" He said with a slightly unsure tone.

"No…no…" The doctor said with a very fake smile, "You're doing just fine." He seemed to be speaking through his teeth.

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Meanwhile, while Vash was having his Psych-Evaluation, Knives was on his way to meet his new roommates on the Crazy wing of the Old Folk's Home…until such time as he regains consciousness and is able to have his own Psych-Evaluation.

Since Knives was still unconscious he was carried to his room in hall number 6 by two large dudes that worked there.

"Let's see," said one of the large men as he looked for the assigned room number, "663…664…665…oh! Here we go…room 6 hundred sixty-six." They unbolted the door and walked in.

The room was well padded—the floor, walls, and ceiling. There were three beds. Two of them were occupied.

Knives was carried over to his bed which was the one on the far left. He was then gently strapped to his bed with nice thick leather straps.

"Good night," the large dudes said as they left.

"Good night," called back the voices of two old men.

The old man in the middle bed was slightly balding. He was sporting blue flannel pajamas and a funny blue nightcap. He was not strapped to the bed. He must be one of the less crazy ones…or not.

The old man from the middle bed got up to see his new roommate. The old guy on the far right watched but was strapped to the bed.

"Hi ya, roomy!" the old man said as he walked over to Knives holding out his hand. He apparently did not realize Knives was unconscious.

"Not very friendly, eh?" he mumbled when Knives did not respond, "Well, anyway…My name's Napoleon!"

The old guy on the right frowned at "Napoleon" and yelled over at him, "No it isn't!"

"Yes it is!" Yelled the old man, "Shut up, Dumpy!"

"Dumpy!?!", "Dumpy" scowled, "That ain't my name you…you…Nutbunny!!!"

"Zzzzzz….zzzZZZ…." was the only comment that Knives could give the arguing old men at the moment.

But… what will happen when he wakes up?

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Will Vash pass his evaluation? What reply will Meryl give to Milly's crazy idea? How will Knives react to his roommates? Who will Vash have for a roommate? Will he be trapped playing bingo forever?

Find out Next Time!

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To Be Continued…

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Review! Review! Please! Please!
Thank You!

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