AN: Sorry about the short delay but here is the next chapter. Thank you for the review and alerts! I hope you all enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Leaving Emily's bedside was the hardest thing she ever had to do. It ranked up there with finding her older sister lifeless when she was only a young girl. Emily's nurse came in to the hospital room to see JJ half on the bed half on the chair but with a sad smile told JJ visiting hours were over and she needed to go back to the waiting room with everyone else.
The blonde kissed Emily on the head and with one last pleading look to the nurse she left. She stalked to the closed wooden door of the ward and sank to the floor. On the other side of the door would no doubt be worried eyes and questions she was in no hurry to answer. The team deserved answers and a peace of mind that only JJ could give but with her own mind running over everything that had happened in those short few hours since she kissed Emily she wasn't in any shape to help anyone else.
Heavy footsteps pulled her attention up only to lock eyes with a dark gaze that belonged to Hotch. She averted her gaze and pulled her knees to her chest as he came to a stop in front of her.
Hotch watched as JJ wrapped her arms around her knees and closed her eyes briefly. He wasn't sure exactly what was going on with the blonde liaison but he did know how close his team was so without much thought he sank to the floor next to her.
"How is she?" he asked softly.
JJ shrugged, "Sleeping" she told him quietly trying to save off her tears that were threatening to fall. She hated that she had cried so much in front of her colleagues but with everything going on punching a wall or crying were her only options. And she didn't feel like breaking any bones.
"How are you?" Hotch continued.
"I'm not sure." She finally answered after a few minutes of silence.
"Jayje, I don't know what's between you and Prentiss and honestly I'm not sure I want to know but we are here for you. Dave, Morgan, Reid and Garcia are sitting right out there waiting to do anything to help. I might not be your first option to unload everything on but…" he paused squeezing her shoulder. "I'm here if you need to talk or anything."
"I'm not sure what's between us either. I just…" she couldn't finish as a tear trailed down her cheek. Guilt had taken over her heart soon after walking into the hospital and the 'what ifs' came soon after. What if she hadn't kissed Emily? What if she went after the brunette when she ran? What if, what if, what if. Could she have stopped this from happening? She was the reason Emily left the BAU office so quickly and she feared she was the reason Emily didn't see the cars swerving into her lane.
Logically she knew she couldn't blame herself and that Emily wouldn't blame her either. It was a freak accident. Not only was Emily injured but a man lost his life before he made it out of his car. With rain showering the area earlier that day the roads were slick and these things happen all the time. She couldn't blame herself for that. But knowing all that didn't help the guilt she felt.
Hotch wasn't one for comforting his team or anyone but his son for that matter but watching JJ break right in front of him had him running his hand over her back in soothing circles. He didn't speak, he didn't have to. She didn't need to hear what he thought. She just needed to let it all go and he was willing to sit and wait for it.
…
Emily's eyes fluttered open. Blinking a few times as the sun shined through the window, she replayed the events of the night then looked up. Her mother was perched in a chair next to her bed reading the paper and James was on his blackberry on the other side. Wetting her dry lips she asked "Where's Jayje?"
James looked up and smiled. "Hey Em, your finally awake." He squeezed her hand gently.
"Oh good, how are you feeling darling?" her mother chimed in setting her paper aside.
"I'm okay I guess. Where's Jayje?" she repeated.
"Who's Jayje?" her mother asked.
"A friend of her's from work, the blonde that was in here." James supplied to her mother then turned to her. "She had to leave. Only family is allowed after visiting hours."
"Oh, is she coming back?" she asked worriedly. JJ had been with her when she fell asleep and now that she was gone Emily had a dire need to see her to make sure she was okay. A feeling in her gut told her the blonde wasn't.
"I'm sure she will. Agent Hotchner had your colleagues go home for the night and said they would be back to see you today." Her mother fidgeted with the sheet. "We do need to talk though. I have consulted with your doctors and found the best plastic surgeon in DC. With your okay he will help fix some of the scars that will be visible. Your face for instants, the scars will be quite noticeable. We don't want that do we?"
Her mother always had a way of insulting her but in a nice way. The 'we' the older woman was worried about was just herself and the society she comes from. Ever since Emily was young she was the pretty daughter her mother always wanted. She dressed her up and showed her off like a dog in a dog show. After leaving for college Emily only had to please her mother every few holidays but now that there was something to hurt that image her mother wanted the Ambassador would do anything to fix it.
"I-I" she stammered before being interrupted by a knock at the door. James helpfully opened the door and Emily smiled as best she could without causing pain to her face.
JJ and Garcia walked in with balloons and flowers. "Your awake!" the blonde tech squealed hopping up to the bed to give Emily a once over.
"Hey," Emily said glancing at the quiet blonde by the door. "You can come in you know." she told her.
JJ stepped in the cold room and stood nervously by the row of chairs on the far side wall away from the brunette. All night she went over everything again and again but still she couldn't shake the guilt. "How are you feeling?" She asked.
"Okay I guess. Only when I move do I feel anything." Emily told her.
"We'll go seek out your doctor dear and leave you a few minutes to chat." Elizabeth Prentiss said ushering James out the door with her.
"What do they have to talk to your doctor about?" Garcia asked after the door was closed. She happily went about brightening the white room with balloons tied to chairs and cabinets but the sink and she placed the flower vases she brought in the window.
"Oh, my mother wants to have a plastic surgeon fix my face."
JJ's brow drew up. "Why so soon? Don't you have to heal first?"
"I don't know." Emily rolled her eyes. "That's my mother for you."
"Well I think you look great for what happened." Garcia pointed out busily pulling out knick-knacks from her bag.
"Thanks, I haven't actually seen what I look like."
JJ moved closer to the bed "Do you want to?" she knew if Emily looked in a mirror at this stage of healing she might possibly freak out but if Emily wanted to JJ would help her.
Emily shook her head and reached for JJ's hand. "I don't know. Do you think I should?"
JJ sighed feeling Emily's cold fingers wrap around her own. The physical contact had her heart fluttering but also squashed her internal battle from the guilt. Glancing over at Garcia by the counters she bent down far enough only Emily could hear and spoke softly. "I think you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." She spoke confidently know Emily needed that reassurance.
Their hands tightened as Emily swallowed thickly. Her heart picked up but the bad thing about being in a hospital everyone could hear her racing heart. She mentally tried to calm herself as Garcia looked over hearing the beating on the machines.
JJ smiled down on the woman and lifted their joined hands to her own racing heart. She let Emily feel that she was feeling the same way. "It's okay."
Emily pulled her hand back and berated herself for feeling what she did. She was in a good relationship. She had a boyfriend who loved her and doted on her. She couldn't let the beautiful blonde before her change that. "I um…"
"Do you need something Gumdrop?" Garcia asked coming to the other side of the bed. "You look a little flushed. Here have a sip of water." She held the cup with a straw to the brunette's lips.
After a generous sip Emily pulled back with a thankful smile. She kept her eyes on Garcia but could see JJ fidget next to her. "Thank you. I guess I'm just tired. Thank you so much for all of this. It looks great." She waved her hand as best she could, pointing out all the happy things Garcia placed throughout the room. "You're the best."
"And you are so welcome. We should probably get going but Morgan and Reid are next in line to come see you. With any luck we will be back tonight."
"Oh guys, you really don't have to come up here. I'm fine and James will be here."
"Oh hush now. We will be back. Rest so we can have a gossip session when we return. I hear hospitals are quite scandalous." The blonde tech reached for the door as JJ bent down and kissed Emily's forehead.
The brunette tensed but didn't say anything. "Be back soon." The blonde whispered then left with a smile.
…
JJ settled into the passenger seat of Garcia's car with a new found confidence. She honestly couldn't wipe the smile off her face which was a big improvement from the minutes before walking into Emily's hospital room. The obvious effect she had on Emily sent her steering. The guilt she felt before was still there but something else was over powering it now.
"So what was all that about?" Garcia inquired after pulling out of the parking lot. She chose not to say anything in the room but she saw her two friends and she knew something had happened.
"Nothing." JJ answered in a sing song kind of way.
"No you don't little girl. Tell me what is going on with you and Gumdrop." She grasped JJ's arm and pulled at it gently. "Please" she resorted to begging when JJ just laughed.
"I kissed her." the blonde smiled brightly.
"Honey, I know it's an improvement but it was only on the forehead." Garcia said sadly hoping not to dash the poor girl's dream.
"No, not that." JJ frowned. "I kissed her last night before she left the BAU." In her mind she could still picture it, still feel the other woman's lips on hers. She sighed happily.
"Like a real kiss? Really? What happened?" she said so fast JJ barely got any of it.
"Yes a real kiss and the kicker, she kissed me back. She was really into it but then I guess she came to her senses and left. We haven't talked about it but by the way she reacted today it is still effecting her too." her cocky grin had Garcia laughing.
"That good huh?" at the nod she continued "Well what do you plan to do about it?"
"Not sure yet but I do plan to do it again." she didn't know when or how but she did know Emily Prentiss would be hers soon enough.
AN: It's about to get interesting… let me know what you think!