Hey guys :)
Thanks again for all you lovely reviewers, including: LoveSparkle, Doomedphsyx2030, spookeje10, KSchmidtluvr24, ILoveBTRandKogan and guest reviewers!
I hope this chapter continues to impress you and that it answers some of your questions, like the guys' ages, etc. It is a little longer than the other ones, but that's coz I really didn't want to chop the ending off and place it in another chapter. So for continuity's sake, here's over 4.5k of glorious drama!
Also, please leave me a review! Your support really motivates me to continue this story. I was a little unsure of it at first but you've made me feel comfortable with writing 'No Idea'. I must warn you guys though that it may be a couple of weeks before my next update, but extra reviews implies extra motivation for me to get it up earlier :P
Hope to hear from you guys!
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DISCLAIMER: I don't own Big Time Rush. If I did, I'd be married to one of them by now…Don't own the original picture used for this story either. I only editted it.The original picture I found was on: freepostermaker pk7jtuytjk / KENDALL-AND-LOGAN [with no spaces]
CHAPTER 3: Til I Forget About You
After James finally put a shirt and a pair of jeans on, Carlos was glad, to say the least. He had never felt so flustered, so embarrassed; so put on the spot like that. It was odd; ridiculously so, that he had reacted in a stuttering, sweaty kind of manner. Although James was usually the one who contained the most 'swagger' and whatnot, Carlos was the one that was irrevocably honest and sweet, thereby containing the most composure in stressful situations, since he always blatantly pointed out the truth.
James made him lose that. James made him almost feel like...Logan – anxious, unsure and worried; all the characteristics that did not define Carlos Garcia.
It was odd, to say the least.
"I'm going to look for him," James announced, grabbing his leather jacket off the coat rack. "You guys should stay here just in case he gets back,"
"He said he wouldn't be back for a while," Logan murmured; almost disappointedly.
Carlos smiled reassuringly at Logan, as he took Logan's half-finished plate of macaroni and cheese and his own plate to the sink.
"We'll text you if he comes back," Carlos said. He turned the tap on and began scrubbing the dishes. It was Logan's turn to do them, but he could tell that he wasn't exactly in the mood to inform them on riveting details of the different PH levels of detergent.
Logan sighed back into the couch, grasping his head with his hands. Despite Kendall not saying more than the necessary words to him before his sudden exit and his earnest belief that Kendall's behaviour wasn't about losing the laser-tag competition, he couldn't help the pit of guilt that bubbled in his chest. Sure, he was lousy at laser-tag and most sports, with the exception of hockey and maybe he shouldn't have been hinting that he knew about Kendall's secret crush; emphasis on the 'secret', but Kendall was rational and reasonable, and he would never walk out on the band or their friendship over something so insignificant.
Right?
Logan groaned, as Carlos finished up with the dirty dishes. He placed them in the dishwasher and set up the appropriate settings, before taking a seat beside his best friend with an immense amount of fear and remorse on his face.
"Logan..."
"This is my fault, isn't it?" Logan whispered; saying it more as a fact than a question.
Carlos' heart really went out for the brunet, as he wrapped his arms around his shaking torso.
"Of course not, Logan," he stated with as much confidence as he could, "Kendall's probably just PMS-ing or something. Just like the reason for your belief in the inexistence in aliens, there must be a logical – and scientific reason for all of this,"
"I hope so," Logan breathed, "I really do,"
James hated taking the bus.
The odd stench of sweat and pee wafted through the air. The heir to the Diamond cosmetic business wrinkled his nose disgustingly, crossing his arms over his muscular form. He definitely wasn't used to riding in such transport after travelling in limousines to the studio and back, and flying in private planes and large, lush tour buses during their tours. The colourful lights that exhibited the vibrant LA night life danced beside his reflection on the scratched bus window. James exhaled with exhaustion, running a hand through his brown locks; wishing he was sinking into his soft mattress rather than being here.
Stupid Kendall. If James wasn't out in public right now, he'd punch a wall or break a door or something. It was very out of character for his best friend – a guy he had known before kindergarten to act out like this. James will admit that Kendall did have a temper, like any other normal person, but it was unlike him to walk away from his friends. From what Carlos had told him, Kendall was definitely mad at someone or something, and James, although valuing his beauty sleep, stepped up from the group to find him.
"Wow," a voice drawled humourously, "Never thought I'd see the James Diamond take the bus,"
James looked up and saw mysterious but glistening brown eyes stare at him.
"So not in the mood, Camille," James grumbled, slouching back into his seat. "Besides, what are you doing on the bus?"
"I always take the bus. My auditions are usually always out of the Palm Woods area and out in the city," Camille shrugged. She took the liberty of taking a seat next to James and continued to investigate why James was not with the other Big Time Rush members. "So why are you here by yourself, James?"
James really didn't want to open up and confess all his troubles – not right now, anyway, and especially not to Camille. Even though the whole 'I kissed Camille, aka Logan's girlfriend at the time' fiasco was put behind them all, James had yet to understand how he had put himself in such a compromising position in the first place. The fact that thoughts of taking it even further than kissing with Camille ran through his mind at the time was more than enough for James to take a step back – or a few from the actress. It didn't matter that he didn't feel anything like that for her now. It was just...James Diamond wasn't the betrayer – the one that lets the team down; lets his teammates down.
So the fact that he did really sucked.
Camille studied James' dark eyes and wondered what was going through the brunet's mind to make him so...silent. He noticed her gaze but he guessed she was kind of oblivious to James' slow and steady plan that spanned over the last few years to distance himself away from her. She and James were very similar, and she'd be damned if he wasn't aware of it too. They were both driven to reach their full potentials within the entertainment business and yet, at the same time, crazy and overly dramatic with their antics that none of their friends took seriously, even when they were being dead-serious.
But she wasn't dumb, and caught on immediately.
"Are you ignoring me, James?"
Sighing, he shook his head. The last thing he wanted to be today was a hypocrite. He was already peeved off at Kendall's performance and was not ready to be compared to him.
"Then why aren't you responding to me?" she pointed out blankly. "Did I do something or say something to make you upset with me?"
"No, Camille, it's not you," James said reassuringly. It wasn't a complete lie. "I've just got a lot on my mind right now,"
"Well we won't be at the Palm Woods for another fifteen minutes," she smiled, placing a gentle hand on top of his. "So let's hear it,"
James opened his mouth to protest but she slipped in before he did, saying that she wasn't taking 'no' as an answer. He just chuckled lightly at her determination that definitely mirrored his, and then, he began to speak.
"K-K-Kendall!"
He didn't really know what was possessing him at this point to trail a path of messy, sloppy kisses down Jo's soft white skin; his tongue tracing lazily around her erect nipple as one of his hands hurriedly undo her jeans. Her back arched excitedly off the mattress as her hands tangled through Kendall's blonde hair, silently urging him to continue his actions so he could reach his destination – her very hot and wet destination.
"Kendall..." she panted heavily, staring at him with drooping, dark eyes, "Please,"
Kendall could feel her heart beat rapidly, but at this point, her needs weren't important. The strain in Kendall's jeans was fucking mind-numbing. No, what was killing his mind was the fact that he was pissed. Kendall Knight was really damned pissed. He shouldn't have acted that way to his friends. He shouldn't have been so rash and irrational and just left without saying when he'd be back and where he was going.
But mostly, he shouldn't have said what he did to Logan. It wasn't Logan's fault that he was so bloody adorable and arousing – that's just how he was. Kendall should've blamed himself that he let Logan affect him in this way. It made his thoughts; any thoughts at all, whether it be deciding what to have for breakfast or what colour socks to wear that day cloud with an immeasurable amount of uncertainty. Kendall groaned and Jo took this as one of pleasure, so she flipped them over and straddled him. He gladly let her take charge, as the fact that the fearless leader himself was actually feeling something utterly mind-consuming; with absolutely no control on what was coming next in life, what Logan or he could be made him paralyzed with fear.
His eyes shut as he suppressed a groan from escaping his throat and let sex take his mind of how much admitting he had feelings for Logan to himself would change not only his life but James', Carlos', and most importantly, Logan's.
Kendall would do anything to forget about Logan right now, even if it was a meaningless fuck with his girlfriend that he didn't even feel half the passion for when compared with the brunette boy. His emotions were all frazzled and uncoordinated with his life, making the love sector of his existence a continuingly difficult one.
He needed to forget about Logan, yet with every moan, touch and kiss; he wished it was him just a little bit more.
And Kendall hated himself for it.
Logan was pacing.
He usually never paced around the apartment unless something really bad had happened and the resident genius was trying desperately to figure out a plan to get the hockey-heads out of whatever mess they had somehow landed themselves into this time.
"Logan," Carlos started, "Calm down,"
"Calm down?!" Logan hissed, throwing his hands into the air in exasperation. "I don't know if you've noticed Carlos but it's almost ten-thirty now and James, nor Kendall is back yet!"
"Yeah, I know," Carlos agreed dejectedly. "But stressing here while James is doing the best he can – it really isn't going to do anything...except stress me more,"
Logan sighed and sat down on the couch, rather reluctantly, while Carlos grabbed some blankets from the closet and handed one over to Logan. Both boys sensed it was going to be a long night, which really sucked considering they had to be back in the studio the following morning at eight.
"James should've called by now to give us an update," Logan sniffled. Carlos could've sworn he heard a quiver in his voice, but when he glanced over, Logan appeared fine.
The shorter of the two grabbed his cell phone and found James in his contacts, in which the pretty boy had so conveniently renamed as 'Bandana Man'. Carlos chuckled a little and showed Logan it, creating a small smile on Logan's pale face. Feeling extremely proud with the progress towards bettering Logan's mood, Carlos pressed the green button and pressed the phone against his ear.
But after a few rings, it went to voicemail.
"James isn't picking up," Carlos admitted, causing Logan to bolt out of his seat.
"That's it! I'm going to find them!"
Logan began striding towards the door, but the Latino was faster than him. Blocking the door with his back, Carlos used a hand to push Logan back a little and stare at him with large, vulnerable eyes.
"If Mrs Knight was here, you know what she'd say?" Carlos murmured, "She'd say at times like these we'd have to stick together. We're not only a band, Logan – we're a team; we're best friends."
"Carlos," Logan croaked out, rubbing his sore eyes. He was trying to keep a level-head, but as the night progressed, he avidly believed that he was over-reacting on the whole situation. There was a big chance James wasn't being mugged and murdered as he ranted internally to himself, and that Kendall wasn't out skating on the rink in my-toes-could-freeze-off weather, hadn't fallen on his head and stained the ice a sickly crimson colour.
Unnoticed to Logan, his chest began to fluctuate heavily and Carlos' eyes widened with concern.
"Logan, hey, you have to calm down," he soothed, rubbing the other's shoulders.
"No," Logan snarled as he made his way out the door. Carlos was taken aback; a little shocked at Logan's sudden mood swing. "I'm going out to find them. I can't stay in this apartment for another second until I know they're alright, or else I'm going to lose my mind!"
"And what if Mrs Knight decides to call in today to check up on us while she's in Minnesota, huh?" Carlos challenged, "What do I do then?"
"And what if James and Kendall are both in trouble? How do you suppose we tell both their families about their carcasses laying on the Californian concrete?"
The words choked and disintegrated in Carlos' throat and usually, Logan would've smirked victoriously and made a snippy remark on his intelligence, but the only thing on his mind was making sure that the two of the most three important people in his life was alive and well.
"So what you're saying is..." Camille hesitated for a moment, chewing on the inside of her lip. "That Kendall is in love with someone – who you can't name, and this someone – who I know but you're not allowed to divulge that bit of information, may possibly have feelings for Kendall too, except this someone's completely oblivious to it? And that may be the reason Kendall ran off from your apartment, without a word?"
James nodded. He ran an exhausted hand through his hair, not realising how screwed up that sounded out loud.
"Wow," Camille exclaimed, "That's...complicated,"
James let out a dry laugh.
"Complicated doesn't even begin to cover it,"
Camille sat there in silence, unsure of what to say or how to react. She knew that this little drama had the potential to rip Big Time Rush apart; as did many of their other arguments, like when James and Carlos fought over Lucy, yet Lucy chose Kendall over both of them, or which of the four of them were the rightful Prank King – this occurring on an annual basis. Whether or not they realised this, Camille knew that the relationship amongst them was unbreakable and irrevocably strong, and even when the band did eventually break up – although it almost brought tears to her eyes at the very thought of this – they would remain close like the innocent, happy sixteen-year-old hockey players from Minnesota she first met several years ago.
But they were nineteen, going on to twenty now, and the time spent at the Palm Woods had brought many changes. Logan and her had ended their volatile relationship, both agreeing that although the making out and the spark was definitely there, they wanted something more permanent and stable. Now, Camille thought of as Logan as one of her closest friends, and she knew the feeling was mutual, because Logan Mitchell was pretty damn easy to read sometimes.
Carlos had finally given up chasing on the ever-so unattainable Jennifers because he changed from a boy packed with an infinite amount of energy to a man who still brightened up a room with his aura, but in a less childish way. There was no denying he had turned devilishly handsome, and once Carlos gained that knowledge, he stopped chasing the girls and let them come to him.
Kendall and Jo had somehow become to mirror Camille and Logan's relationship, with them having several arguments over things they usually forgot the next day. As much as Camille didn't want to admit it, she could tell that Jo's time apart from the Palm Woods had affected their relationship severely. It was ultimately Kendall's support that let Jo spread her metaphorical wings to expand her career's horizons, but he never promised that when she did return home, they could pick up from where they had left it. Jo's lips were saying that she understood this when Kendall explained that a lot had happened since her departure and that he may take time for them to adjust back to their easygoing, comfortable routine, since he still had feelings for her, but her eyes were desperate to return to the nirvana fantasy she had created for herself whenever Kendall was near her. Apart from the fact Lucy's heart was crushed on the way of this, everyone at the Palm Woods, even Mr Bitters, was glad that the two were back together.
Yet it was one particularly heated argument that devastated the both of them.
She sighed, knowing the role she had in screwing the two of them up. Logan had reassured to her that it wasn't even her fault, and they had both pointed out what the two love-birds had been blind to. If they did fall apart, it was because they were engineered that way to. She remembered that night as if it were yesterday. It was the first night she fell asleep in the teen's arms, nestled in his warmth; before they decided to call it quits the next morning.
Camille's eyes darted from her hands to James' trembling ones. He must've been worried about Kendall's whereabouts and the possibility of Big Time Rush ending, although she didn't know which one scared him more. She grabbed one of them and entwined her bony fingers with his. He shot her a shaky grin, which was very uncharacteristic of his classic 'James Diamond' smile. James was the one who had changed the least. He had become more understanding and it seemed that as each day elapsed, James grew a little more mature through his conduct and the way he handled his emotions. The corner of Camille's mouth lifted as she realised that even when James was freaking out on the inside, he was trying not to.
It was too soon when the bus pulled up beside the Palm Woods. Camille tugged on James sleeve and he, as if he were drunk, stumbled out of the bus.
"Camille, I –"
"I get it, James," she whispered; only sincerity sparkling in her eyes, "You can come to me anytime to talk or rant or whatever. I know Logan does,"
"Thanks,"
James pulled her in for a hug and she was kind of shocked, considering James hadn't touched her this much since their accidental kiss years ago. She breathed in his scent and let her small arms wrap around his torso, as she silently hoped Kendall was back at 2J when James was.
The clock was dangerously close to eleven now. The lobby was basically deserted now; Mr Bitters had already retired for the evening, hanging a 'closed' sign on the front desk, while the vicinities was littered with a few people who were probably returning from a fun date or nice dinner out with friends in the city. The brunette inspected the entrance with a meticulous eye, hoping to catch sight of a certain blonde or pretty boy, as he hid behind the Palm Woods bushes; tree-hat securely on. Hell, even seeing Mrs Knight and Katie, who would probably kill Carlos and him for losing half of the band, walk through the beige doors would be a slight relief.
Logan had already searched the entire second floor and even ran to Camille's room a few levels up for back-up. Unfortunately, Camille's dad had told him that she was out for an audition and she wouldn't be back till later. Scowling, Logan was left by himself to search for his missing friends.
He still wondered where James was and what he was doing to have ignored incoming calls and messages from Carlos and himself; and better yet – what the hell Kendall was doing after leaving the apartment in such a rush. Long gone were the thoughts of Kendall being upset over the result of the laser-tag game, and in came intriguing questions on Kendall's recent strange behaviour.
If his suspicious were confirmed and it was because of Jo, then Camille and Logan had been right along, and that the two should end something that hadn't been working for a long time.
All of a sudden, Logan's phone began to vibrate against his topic and an ecstatic grin stretched onto his face.
"Kendall? James?!"
"No, it's Carlos,"
Logan sighed irritably, wanting nothing more than to roar at his best friend to get off the phone, just in case any of the others decided to contact him.
"What, Carlos?" Logan gritted through his teeth.
"I was just calling up to check on you," Carlos murmured, "I didn't want another one of us to go under,"
Although Logan grimaced at his choice of words, an overwhelming sense of guilt invaded his thoughts of worry, as he focused on the adorable, helmet-wearing boy.
"I'm sorry for snapping, Carlitos," he stated genuinely, deliberately using a nickname Carlos was so fond of in order to appeal for his forgiveness automatically, "You know how I get when I'm distraught,"
Carlos nodded, completely understanding Logan, considering he was worried out of his mind also.
"Have you been able to reach any of the guys?" Logan asked.
Carlos paused momentarily and Logan already knew the answer.
"No, I haven't, but I'm sure they're fine,"
"How can you keep saying that?! You don't know that they're okay, Carlos. Stop trying to make us feel better, please, Carlos. You know that there is a very real possibility that their heart has stopped beating and they're bleeding profusely –" Logan barked; a hand then immediately slamming against his mouth. "Oh god, fuck,"
"Staying positive is the only way I deal with it," Carlos shrugged nonchalantly. "We all deal with our problems in different ways,"
Before Logan could respond, Carlos cut in.
"I have a call on the other line," he informed; a weak smile formed on his features as a gasp of relief was heard from his end, "I'll put you on hold and get back to you as –"
"Just answer it, Carlos!" Logan yelped excitedly.
Carlos laughed at Logan's enthusiasm, as he wiped a bead of sweat from his brow. He inhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself from the lecture he had to give to whichever one of them he was calling a piece of his mind, and the absolute chaos and frantic mess that they, especially Kendall, had made of the both of them.
Without checking the caller ID, he answered the awaiting phone call.
"It's about time you called!" Carlos started, "I mean, here Logan and I was, scared shitless that you were lying –"
"Carlos...what's going on over there?" an apprehensive yet authoritative voice questioned.
Fuck.
"Oh good evening Mrs Knight, how are you doing this fine night?"
He heard her scoff at his lame attempt of regaining his composure of what he had almost blurted out.
"Carlos Garcia..." Mrs Knight deadpanned, ignoring all his previous questions, "Where are James and Kendall?"
If a hole was already dug out for him, Carlos would've jumped right in and made himself comfortable, since he was basically screwed anyway. Morbid thoughts like these were a very rare occurrence for the Latino, but the fact that this crossed his mind showed how utterly fucked he was. Carlos wasn't the best liar out of the whole group and he had this tendency to say things that were too honest sometimes, like that his date did look fat in that dress, so Mrs Knight's interrogation sure wasn't going to last long before the truth came out.
"They're out!" Carlos exclaimed. There was a less tense edge to his voice considering what he had said wasn't technically a lie.
"You know Kendall shouldn't be out with Jo this late," Mrs Knight warned solemnly, "And as for James, I don't care if there is hair product sale at the mall tomorrow morning, he's not allowed to be out at this time of day either,"
"Jo!" Carlos screamed; as a realisation dawned upon him, like he had been hit with a ton of bricks.
"What?"
Carlos gulped.
"Oh yeah, Jo is just coming down the hallway with Kendall now and I was just greeting them and gesturing to them to hurry up. I don't want my best bud to get busted, you know," he rushed, praying that Mrs Knight would buy his little lie. "Now I really have to go Mrs Knight since it is past our bedtime and we have to be at the studio tomorrow morning so...bye, see you, have a good night, love you!"
Ending the call, Carlos exhaled heavily, bending over in relief as his hands on his knees supported his upper body from completely falling onto the ground.
"Logan!" Carlos shouted, "Mrs Knight just called and it went better than you guys would've expected of me. Anyway, have you checked Jo's?"
Logan, although glad to see his friend was back on the line with so they could panic together, felt incredibly foolish that he had forgotten about checking whether Kendall was with Jo.
Stupid, stupid, stupid!
"Way ahead of you, Carlitos. Going over there now, so I'll call you in a few to update you, okay?"
Carlos agreed to this and Logan hung up as he entered the elevator, phone in one hand and a tree-hat in another. As the doors closed, a sneaker-clad foot stopped it and Logan looked up to see a familiar pair of brunettes.
"James! Camille!" Logan bellowed; jumping forward and encasing the two in a bone-crushing embrace. Camille's cheeks tinted pink and as did James, yet they were both happy that Logan was glad to see them.
But the moment quickly ended when Logan pulled both of them into the elevator and began to slap James' arm.
"Don't – slap – ever – slap – do – slap – that – slap – again! I was thinking the worst, James, and I can't imagine losing either of you and –"
"I'm fine, Logan," James hushed rather sheepishly, leaning his head on Logan's. He ignored the fuzzy warmth that gathered at the pit of his stomach as he listened to the rhythm of Logan's heartbeat dwindle in speed. "I'm sorry I got you and Carlos so worried. My phone battery died,"
"As much as I hate to ruin this tender moment between best friends," Camille admitted directly, "I have to ask: have you guys found Kendall yet?"
Logan snapped out of his trance where he was content that the taller brunette was back into his life and shook his head sadly.
"He's probably just at Jo's," Camille dismissed, pressing the button to Jo's floor.
"Jo's!" James shouted as he struck his own forehead. "How could we forget about Jo?!"
"I don't know!"
Camille really wanted to punch both these boys for their idiocy, but instead a giggle escaped from her glossy lips.
When the lift's doors opened, the three of them raced out and ran towards Jo's apartment. Camille was able to get there first because James had tripped on one of his untied shoelaces and had taken Logan down with him, so the two were still tangled in each other's limbs when Camille raised her fist to knock on the door.
"James! Get off of me!" Logan complained, as he attempted to rip his leg from under James' muscular body.
"I'm trying!" James retaliated.
"Guys!" Camille growled. Her tone gained both boys' attention's instantly. They then proceeded to scramble over when Camille gestured them to be quiet and to come over.
The three of them pressed their ear against the shockingly thin wooden door and what they heard left one of them very perplexed on whether they should be more surprised or hurt by Kendall's actions.
Woo. Finally the end of that chapter! I know it's been extremely long but I hope it was worth the read!
Additionally, don't always assume the obvious. I left the ending purposely opened to encourage discussion on what you think will happen next. So leave me a review on your theories!
And expect a Kogan confrontation! I'm really excited about writing that hehe ;)
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