Four times Kate tried to propose and the one time she didn't have to.

A/N: It's Doctor Who I do what I want with the timeline. This is set just after Death in Heaven, but I can't quite work out how long she and Clare have been together but eh.
This is part of my continuing campaign to get Kate a wife 2k18. It's random, please excuse the rambling at the beginning and if there are mistakes it's because I haven't edited it. It's an idea that's been playing around for a while, hope you enjoy!

They say when you're about to die, your whole life flashes before your eyes. Kate had faced death more times than most and she knew this simply wasn't true. She had never let the prospect of her imminent mortality get in the way of doing her job. If she was dying it was usually because the world needed saving, so she pushed everything else to the back of her mind.

Falling out of a plane was a bit different. She couldn't do anything. She had thought the end was inevitable, there was no saving herself, no sarcastic comeback. She didn't see anything either. No smiling face of her father, the houseboat, her boys. The only thing was the rushing in her ears and a sore throat from what could only be a scream, but she hadn't heard it.

There was only one explanation for where she was now. She'd never contemplated an afterlife, she concentrated on living, anything after that was a bonus. She fell out of a plane and now she was aware, had feeling, could hear bustling and murmurs. There was a fog, clouding her head, pressing down on her muscles, preventing her from taking a deep breath. Surely death shouldn't hurt this much.

She fought against it, trying to place where she was. She'd been in the plane…the cybermen…Missy. Then suddenly she hadn't. She was falling, falling, falling. Her memories were coming back to her, she relived it and WHAM. She had hit something but carried on downwards. It couldn't have been the ground because she should have stopped moving. Cold…was it metal? But it had moved, wrapped around her almost protectively.

She tried to fast forward through the memories but her mind was slow. Eventually she had landed…no, not landed, been placed…was that right? How could she have fallen from a plane then been placed almost gently on the ground? Frustration overwhelmed her. She didn't like her brain being so slow. She had to be at her best. She was Kate Stewart, chief scientific officer of UNIT. Except maybe she wasn't anymore.

Surely death shouldn't hurt this much. The dying maybe, but once it had happened? Although maybe this wasn't pain. She felt heavy, tried to work out which part of her body was damaged, but she couldn't move. Odd. Maybe this was the afterlife, no use of a body but the echoes of the past – of flesh and bones – still there but useless to the soul.

Pull yourself together Kate. Now is not the time for spiritual ponderings and existential crises.

Except if she were dead, it was the perfect time for it. Nothing else to do but reflect on life and consider the questions that would keep her awake at night – if it weren't for the fact that most nights she collapsed on the bed in an exhausted heap. No thoughts of regrets when she wrapped her arms around Clare and breathed in the soft scent of her perfume.

Her train of thought, well it was hardly a train when her mind was hopping from one topic to the next, came screeching to a halt. Clare. Maybe one regret. Leaving her behind. Well, not quite that, because they both knew the risks. She would be alright, but Kate felt the longing for missed opportunities. For the two of them growing old together, watching potential grandchildren grow up around them, for teaching her how to play bridge and sitting watching sunsets in the garden they have grown and tended in retirement.

Great. Now you've gone sentimental. Focus on the task at hand – working out what the hell is going on.

She worked back to where she was before. Lying on the ground. A woman's voice shouting as she'd tried to hold on to something…someone. She'd been reunited, a sense of familiarity washing over her. Then the soft Scottish accent. The Doctor. He'd been talking to someone. In Earth's darkest hour and mine. Where else would you be?

The memories were slipping, just out of reach and she couldn't focus. The heaviness in her body ached and her head started to pound. She could hear beeping, echoing in the peripheries of her mind.

"The Propofol is wearing off, probably the morphine too. Let's get some more otherwise she's going to be in agony when she comes round properly. IV, and some cyclizine."

She felt a squeeze on her arm, a soft voice by her ear.

"Kate, it's me. Clare. Can you hear me?"

Had she nodded? She wasn't sure, but she felt a warm hand slip into her own and curled her fingers. She breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn't dead. Clare was here. The fog in her mind was drug induced and she would recover.

She felt the sedation wearing off, blinked her eyes open, trying to adjust to the light. A face blocked her view, the familiar crooked smile and high cheekbones.

"Hey, you. You said you weren't going to be home for a few days."

"Surprise," Kate croaked, finding her voice. "Wh- what happened?"

"The Doctor called UNIT, you're in London Bridge Hospital. Amazingly, you got out of this with a couple of rib fractures and a lot of bruises."

"But… how? The plane – I fell out of a plane! There were cybermen, so many. From the graveyards…they had people's souls or…" She stopped, as it dawned on her. The memories of the metal. It had been a cyberman. Her father, in cyberman form. He'd taken care of her, saved her.

She felt the grief settle again. It had been a while, of course she still missed her father but having him close and taken away again hurt. She just hoped he'd seen what she'd built with UNIT.

It was time for her to live life to the full. It was cliché, a near death experience putting things in perspective, but it was true. She lived in the moment, never looking to the future because she had no idea what it might hold, but now she knew what she wanted it to hold. UNIT, Clare and her boys. Family. She needed to make it official.

The doctor interrupted her train of thoughts.

"You're very lucky Ms Stewart, so far all the tests are looking good. You're going to need physio, but you'll be back to saving the world in no time."

She wrote a few things down in the notes as Kate turned to Clare. She leant over the bed and pressed their lips together. Kate leant up, trying to get closer, but winced. Her entire back ached and protested, sending spasms right down her legs. She let slip a groan and the doctor glanced up.

"The morphine's on its way, I'll leave you alone to get some rest." She smiled and strode out of the room.

"Looks like you're going to be on light duties for a while," Clare brushed her fringe and laughed at Kate's pout.

There was a knock on the door, a nurse entering with two syringes in a tray. She bustled into the room, a friendly grin on her face.

"We've got the good stuff here, Ms Stewart, just need your arm."

She found the cannula and started pushing the drugs in slowly. Kate felt the cold travelling up her arm, and the ache began to recede. She reached for Clare's hand, the nurse leaving as quickly as she'd appeared. She could feel the fog creeping up on her again, unsure of her own actions.

"Clare-" she started, her voice catching in her throat. She felt drunk. "Marry me?"

Apparently, she hadn't said it. Her mind had not been connected to her mouth and Clare had said nothing when she'd come back to her senses properly. She'd meant it though, but there was never a right time. Clare had been called back to work and Kate had had an intensive couple of weeks with the physio in hospital.

She was back on her feet and at home, although Osgood and Shindi had told her not to come into work under any circumstances. She had protested so Osgood offered to send over paperwork. She had stopped protesting after that.

On her first day at home without Clare, she had made a decision. She was going to do it properly this time. Although her back might prevent her from getting down on one knee, she could still present a ring at the end of a romantic meal.

She eased herself into the car and drove into the nearest town. She wasn't quite ready to face London yet, but she could get down the small high street with the aid of a walking stick alright. There were several coffee shops dotted down it to pause for a rest anyway.

The trip tired her out, but it was worth it for the sense of satisfaction she got as she hid the small velvet covered box in her bedside table. The actual question would have to wait, Clare was having to work late for the rest of the week.

"Shall we share a dessert?" Clare peered over the top of her menu. "I'd like to save some appetite."

There was a mischievous glint in her eyes and Kate smirked. "I'd have thought you would want to take advantage of me paying."

The waiter appeared and they placed their order, tiramisu and two spoons.

"You really don't have to pay, darling."

"I want to, for you putting up with me being incapacitated for the past month." She was managing without the stick now and was almost bouncing off the walls, desperate to get back to work. Raven had never been on so many walks, not that he was complaining.

"Well, I love you so I kind of have to. Although I am looking forward to you getting back to work next week. You're very restless and distracted, like something's on your mind."

Kate blushed, because she was used to being so very sure of herself. The past few weeks she had felt out of sorts, partly due to not being at work, and partly due to nerves. She slipped her hand into her pocket, running her thumb over the soft box. She reached over the table with her other hand, entwining their fingers.

"I, uh," A loud ring cut through the atmosphere. Her pocket buzzed insistently and she cursed under her breath. That was Shindi's ringtone and if he was ringing her then there was a big problem. She looked at Clare, bewildered and apologetic.

"Take it, he knows you're on leave so they must really need you."

The next day they strolled through Hyde Park, arms linked and enjoying the rare good weather. The call the night before had required a lengthy phone call to the prime minister but nothing more. There were still four days stretching out between now and a trip to Geneva to catch up with everything she'd missed. Of course, Osgood had been giving her unofficial updates, but it was a necessity to get the proper briefing.

Kate paused at a bench and pulled Clare down to sit next to her. Raven was investigating in the bushes, trotting around happily and wagging his tail. Clare looked at her, concerned until she realised where they were.

"Our bench?"

Kate nodded and rested her head on Clare's shoulder. The bench they'd sat on during their first date, a snatched lunch after Kate had finished a meeting at Westminster. People watching whilst they flirted and laughed. Before they both had to get back to work Clare had leant in close and Kate had closed the gap, a soft kiss that had deepened until a pointed cough from a passing businessman had broken them apart.

"I never dreamed I'd have something like this," she started, linking their fingers. "After the divorce, I was happy. UNIT and the boys, that was all I needed. Meeting you was a bonus. I struck the jackpot."

She pressed their lips together as Clare chuckled.

"What do you want, hm?"

"Nothing, I was wondering though," she reached into her pocket. "Clare would you – oof"

The air had been slammed from her chest by Raven enthusiastically jumping up between them, panting and wagging his tail which thumped against her shins. She wrinkled her nose as Clare jumped up.

"Eurgh Raven what on earth have you been – oh shit! Quite literally! I hope there are towels in the boot, otherwise he can walk behind the car."

There was a smear of something altogether unsavoury, from the point of his nose in a spiral over his face and back, as if he had corkscrewed through it for maximum coverage. Dogs…who'd have them?

"I'm jealous, three days having a nice time in Geneva," Clare pouted as she passed Kate her scarf. "If I hadn't been working I'd have come with you."

"It's three days of bureaucratic meetings, nothing fun. I'll bring you back some chocolate," she kissed Clare goodbye and smiled. If only Clare was coming as well.

"I'm back!"

Silence, although Kate expected it. She was home earlier than planned and Clare was most likely at work. She dropped her bag in the hall and wandered into the kitchen. Raven lifted his head wearily, annoyed he'd been disturbed from his afternoon nap.

She made herself a tea and retrieved the gift from her luggage. The chocolaterie box was neatly wrapped, the owner had winked. Pour votre amoureux? She had chuckled and shook her head. Amoureuse, actuellement. A subtle change in the gender of the noun, his eyes had widened as she left the shop with a "Merci, Monsieur".

She placed the chocolates on the coffee table, a selection of Clare's favourite truffles and pralines. She was ready this time, settled on the sofa with a book in hand. Raven curled up on his rug and was snoring gently.

The butterflies started, anticipation preventing her from concentrating. She was reading the same lines over and kept glancing at the clock. Clare wouldn't be long. She turned the page without taking anything in. The trip had been a busy few days and despite feeling back to her old self she could tell it was catching up with her now. Her eyelids grew heavy. A short nap wouldn't hurt.

Kate felt a heavy weight settle over her, warmth cocooning her and she was vaguely aware of a ghost of breath and soft lips on her forehead. Time passed, she wasn't sure how much, but next thing she knew she was being gently prodded and led upstairs, half supported. She tried to wake herself up properly, managed to change without aid, and curled in to Clare's side, drifting back to sleep with a smile on her face.

Clare was in the kitchen when Kate blinked her eyes open. She could hear the drone of the coffee machine and the clatter of dishes. She collapsed onto her back with a sigh. This was getting ridiculous, she took pride in being on the ball, organised, getting the job done and yet she still hadn't proposed.

She sat up decisively. That's it. I'm going down there right now. Nothing is stopping me this time. Retrieving her trousers from the floor, she slipped her hand in the pocket. Empty. Other side. A penny. Shit. Okay. Don't panic. Maybe it's in the jacket. A frantic search through the rest of her clothing returned nothing.

She stood with her hand on her forehead, desperately trying to recall the last time she'd had the ring. She rifled through her bedside table, checked under the bed, but she was certain she'd taken it downstairs the day before. It'll be in the lounge, slipped out your pocket. It's fine.

The sofa was still covered by the blanket Clare had placed over her last night. Kate swept it aside, picking it up and shaking it. She sent a silent prayer that it would drop to the floor. She delved behind the cushions, not wanting to think about what else she might find there. A pen and two raisins were all she had for her trouble. She dropped to the floor, squinting to see underneath the sofa. She could make out the fuzzy outline of a tennis ball but that was it. She sighed and thumped her head onto her forearm, giving herself a pep talk to get off the floor.

"Kate? Are you alright down there, love?"

She raised her head and met Clare's amused smirk. Her arms were folded across her chest, weight on one leg. Kate pushed herself up, using the coffee table for leverage, shaking and stretching out her legs.

"Yes, fine. I was…um…"

"Looking for something?"

Kate cast her eyes to the floor, still hoping they would land on the elusive box.

"Uh, yes, no, maybe. It's not…"

Clare cleared her throat and she glanced up.

"Was it this by any chance?"

She gaped, in Clare's hand was the ring box.

"Wha-, where?"

Clare chuckled at the sight of a flummoxed Kate.

"It was on the floor beside you when I got back last night."

"Damn those shallow pockets in women's trousers."

"Indeed. It did confuse me at first though."

Kate tilted her head, asking a silent question.

"I was sure I'd left mine in a safe place, where you couldn't find it."

Her jaw, if it was possible, dropped further as Clare brought her other hand from behind her back. A similar box was in it, this one open. A silver ring, set with a small diamond, glinted at her.

"Marry me?"

"I…I've…" She was floored. "I've ben trying to ask you for weeks!"

"I know," Clare smirked.

"You knew?"

"Of course. You asked me in the hospital but you were so drugged up you obviously didn't remember. Then you were really distracted, took me out for a romantic dinner, back to the bench. I knew exactly what you were doing, and I was trying to do it too."

"I thought I'd imagined asking you in the hospital."

"Well that hardly matters now does it." She glanced at Kate with a shy smile and she closed the few steps between them, wrapping her arms around Clare's neck.

"Well?" She pulled her head back and Claire raised an eyebrow. Kate feigned ignorance.

"Well what?"

"Will you marry me?"

She pondered for a second, making a show of it.

"I asked you first. Weeks ago. And you still haven't answered."

Claire sighed dramatically and took her hand, slipping the ring over her slender finger. She gave the closed box to Kate, who reciprocated, the rich blue sapphire catching the light.

"Does that answer your question?"

Kate linked their hands and captured Clare's lips with her own.

"Yes. Absolutely yes."