Chapter Rating: K+

3. Human Emotions are Stupid

Now that the job was out in the open, Ethriel felt much better and relieved that there had yet to be a fist collide with her face. However, the silence in the room was deafening. Slowly, she looked up into Dean's eyes, as she was sure he would be the one most affected by this, but she only got a raised eyebrow and a slack jaw.

Curious, her eyebrow twitched upwards and she leaned forward to study his expression closer. He didn't seem to notice. "Dean? Are you alright?" she asked softly.

He nodded then, as if to say, 'yeah, of course I'm fine," but he didn't say anything else.

She looked towards Castiel, then, the beginnings of a smile on her face, ready to beam at her fellow angel when he thanked her. However he only looked extremely confused and concerned, his eyes attached to Dean's expression.

For a moment, Ethriel thought that these two didn't need her services and were at the point of true love already. However that small ball of hope was popped and deflated quickly at Dean's new expression.

"Are you freaking kidding me?"

Ethriel took a step back, offended. "I would not joke about matters of the heart, Dean."

"Yeah, well, you can go shove it. Cas and I aren't… No. We aren't like that," he grumbled, stomping back the way he had originally entered, down a hall.

Ethriel let out a sigh and slumped, looking much smaller and even a little defeated. Of course she knew this was going to be a tough job, but that small spark of hope that they would be reasonable had died out with that insult. There was no way she was going to be able to go on with her job. If Dean defied Michael, eldest archangel and the Host of Heaven, then there was no way a small cupid like herself would be able to crack that shell. "Why does he run away from happiness?" she asked to Castiel, plopping down in a chair next to the mapped table.

When he didn't reply, she looked back up to him and was surprised to see him look… very sad. She slumped in her chair then, realizing slowly just how bad this situation was. She wasn't sure she hadn't caused any permanent damage with just that one sentence, and now she knew she couldn't fix it.

Her heart beat faster as Castiel sat next to her, and she thought that maybe at least she had one of the two who wouldn't run away from this. But as he sat down, the taller one that had been standing on the opposite side of the room - who she only could assume as Sam Winchester - started laughing.

She whipped her head around to glare at him only to realize that his laughter wasn't demeaning, but happy. Confused, she pursed her lips and tilted her head to the side. "Why are you laughing?"

Sam took a moment to find his breath and wipe a small wetness of his eyes away before answering. "Because I can't believe that the two of them actually took so long that Heaven decided to pull some strings." And that was all he was going to say, apparently, as he continued walking away from her and into the library with Kevin, who was also chuckling softly.

Slowly she turned to Castiel, pouting quietly and hoping he would see the same - although somewhat strange - point that Sam did. Apparently their relationship was that of very close to begin with, maybe even love, but Dean, if not Castiel as well, refused to see it. She was glad that at least she had one other on her side, maybe even someone who would be willing to help convince them that this was right.

She raised her hand and gently set in on Castiel's shoulder. He looked up at her then, his signature puppydog eyes wide and swallowing her whole. "Castiel. I am sorry I have cause such distress. I did not mean…"

"No," he said, startling her. It was the first thing he had spoken since she told him her orders. "I know how this works, Ethriel. You cannot move onto another job until this one is finished. I wish this wasn't such a problem. Dean is… I…" He seemed to struggle with the words. "Dean and I share a profound bond. I was the angel to raise him from perdition. He helped me to see the glory of free will. I fell from Heaven for him - twice. I lead armies in his name, broke the Word of God, and even defied destiny." He paused, looking around the bunker, then finally meeting her gaze. "You can imagine, our relationship is… complicated."

Her eyes wide, she searched his face for emotion, for his thoughts. "I… had not realized. I knew of the Winchesters' fame, and your involvement, but I apologize, I had no idea you were so involved in Heaven's recent affairs." She stopped, trying to make sure that she didn't sound so accusatory. "Castiel, you were the one who helped to throw Michael into the Cage? You lead the armies against Raphael? You were…" She swallowed. "You were God?"

"No!" he shouted instantly at that word, flinching from it almost in pain. "No. I was stupid, and ambitious, and selfish. I believed that I could change Heaven, I thought I could help…"

She sighed, clicking her tongue. "No, don't apologize for that. It is over and done, far in the past. You seem to be better now, and… human?"

He closed his eyes. "Yes. Metatron approached me, said that we could close the gates of Heaven to try and stop all the fighting. I was stupid. I went along with it, and in the end, he stole my grace and threw me and all the angels to Earth."

"I'm sorry. But you are human only now, this has not been so for a long time?"

His face scrunched and looked at her in confusion. "No, I've only been like this for a couple months. Why?"

She shook her head, angry again. "No one is in Heaven. So no one is giving me orders. But I keep getting names, and I thought that they were just a list that had built up and I was finally getting to them. But if you becoming human was what make the Gates close, I have no idea how this order could have come to be. Angels and humans cannot be together. It is forbidden."

Cas shook his head. "Actually, it isn't."

"What do you mean?"

"A child born of a human and an angel is forbidden, yes, but only if it was not planned. It's rare, but angels can fall in love with humans - hence the term 'fall in love'. The only problem that many seem to ignore is that you must have permission from God to pursue the relationship." He stopped, his face contorting in thought. "Though an order to a cupid is still very strange. Do you know where they come from?"

"No. They used to be regulated by Michael, and I thought they originated there, but since he's gone they've still been coming - in vast waves as well. I do not know who creates them." Her eyes widened. "Are you suggesting that God does?"

Cas nodded slowly. "I believe that is the only explanation. Unless for some reason Metatron wants Dean and I together." He laughed dryly at that.

With that, Ethriel is reminded of their situation. "I am sorry Castiel. I can leave, if that is what you wish. I will not push for something when I know I cannot win."

Castiel seemed to think it over for a very long time. "This is definitely a difficult situation." He paused again. "Like I said, Dean and I share a profound bond. I am willing to think of it as love, however I have not previously experienced much…" he cleared his throat awkwardly "...desire to have more human equivalents of the term. Now that I am human, however, I've felt more… inclined towards such thoughts, but I…" His cheeks were bright pink now and Ethriel would have felt sorry for him if it weren't so cute. He lowered his voice marginally so the other two in the library couldn't hear. She doubted they were listening anyway, but she humored him and leaned in closer. "Though I haven't previously thought about it, I am not opposed to experiencing… those feelings… with Dean. If God wishes it."

Grinning broadly, Ethriel nodded and stood up, starting to jump excitedly. Before she could cause the library occupants to turn their heads though, Castiel grabbed her arm and stopped her from becoming too rambunctious.

Standing up, he looked down at her and sighed. "However I believe that for the time being, you should leave." Her grin faded and she looked up at him with confusion. "Come back tomorrow evening. I will talk to Dean in the meantime, see what exactly his feelings are on this without anyone listening in. He's usually much more open when it's only us." That got a huge grin from her. He shook his head. "If he's not… stabilized?... by the time you come back, maybe you can stay in the bunker with us and get to know him better. He usually cooperates more if he trusts the person."

She nods then, a new hope filling her. She leans up and gives a soft peck to the top of Castiel's head and waves to the men in the library before walking back up the stairs and through the metal door.