Chapter 3
I mean for two months, and counting… Excel Excel had many a memory of the Ropponmatsu 2 that ruined her. However, the Maiden, which resembles Hyatt, became a part of Excel's life. After two months of the best nights of her life… Excel and Hyatt Robot stayed true to each other, while she stayed loyal to ACROSS. By the time it was mission time…
"Hail, Il Palazzo!" She cheered.
"…zzo." Hyatt spoke.
"Well, Agent Excel, how did your two months of keeping your Maiden for Hire went?" Il Palazzo requested.
"Well, it's like this…" She paused, and blushed at her boss, crying, "She's the best! In fact… may I borrow a toolkit for her? I plan to reprogram her!"
"Elaborate…"
"Excel figures that we may use this Maiden for Hire, only for personal gain. We may use the robot, with its charm and control, and we can use it for singing!"
Il Palazzo replied, "No need. We'll use her, for something useful. Make sure that the robot is prepared. However, THERE WILL BE NO REPROGRAMMING… of any kind. The Maiden obeys you, so it's very useful to use her, just for our conquest of the world."
Excel then giggled, "Oh, Lord Il Palazzo. Of course… What if there's any romance love… of a Maiden and Excel?"
Il Palazzo growled, as Hyatt asked, "Senior? Why is that?"
Excel panicked, in a worried state, "Oh, nuts… And I just became romantically attracted by Hyatt-Bot!"
We knew what would happen. However, Il Palazzo smiled and said, "I know the reason why, but I know you. After all, you love me, is that correct?"
Hyatt whispered, "It's pretty obvious."
Excel grinned, "Oh, I am still loyal to you, out of my love, but Excel refuses to go Yuri on this fembot faker! She'll stay loyal to you, so much! HAIL, IL PALAZZO!"
Hyatt smiled, "Oh, Senior. Maybe I should meet your Maiden in per-."
He pulled the cord, as Excel plummeted down below.
"WHY THE SUDDEN FINISH-UP?"
SPLASH!
"You will brief everything about today's mission, once she has come up." He said.
Hyatt inquired, "And that would be…"
Il Palazzo boomed, "Agent Excel will undergo Psychiatric Care, once her use with the Maiden is finished. I just remembered a mission that did involve her being… well, thoroughly losing her womanhood. Maybe we can cure her of her sudden shock, as of the previous chapter."
He continued, as he stood up from his throne, "Agent Hyatt, promise me that you can help fix her problems… even though she caused far too many."
"Sir!"
"And furthermore… NO going near that Maiden for Hire, under ALL circumstances. If you go near her…"
"I won't… Hyatt knows that it's of me."
Il Palazzo chuckled, "How'd you guess?"
Hyatt was worried, "I have a wild feeling…"
It continued on, as the days continued. Excel was blushing, as she crawled towards the robot and blushed.
"I can't stand it…" she whispered, "I cannot take my emotions. I want you so badly. In fact, Excel wants you… more than anything she feels… Oh, Lord Il Palazzo… forgive me…"
The Maiden stripped down to her bra and panties and said, "If you want me… Say the word. I shall help you out, anyway, shape, or form."
She removed her bra, as her long blue hair flowed over her chest. Excel was in full-on romance, as she hugged Hyatt Maiden. After that, they kissed, held each other tight, and made out on the floor.
But then…
"Face destroyed! Upper right arm, incapacitated! Right side area – don't even ask! Sudden destruction of abdominal region! Contortion developed – body out of commission! WAH! AH! AAAAAAHH!"
Excel cried, as she shoved her aside, "Excel…"
She yelled, "I CAN'T DO IT! I don't care if she's naked and/or a sexy robot, I cannot do it! NO!"
She ran out of the house, screaming, while wearing a robe. The Hyatt robot called to her, but she was already gone.
"Master! WAIT! Why are you avoiding me?"
She sobbed, "I… I was so close…"
At the park, Excel was crying in tears, as she held onto her toolkit, in which she stole from ACROSS HQ.
"I'm so sorry… Hatchan-Botchan!" She sobbed, "Excel has to do it… just so we could conquer the world. It disobeys Lord Il Palazzo, but if she breaks down, there's those FREE repairs, right?"
But don't forget: repairs are FREE, but replacement parts cost extra
She yelled, "I don't need my boss telling me what to do! I love Hyatt the Maiden! I don't care! Excel is not letting some robot-android-gynoid-cyborg-cylon-Scion-cycle get to me!"
"Big sister is so mean!"
BOOM!
Excel screamed, "MENCHI! And also, ROPPONMATSU!"
She shrieked, "NO! DAMN YOU, ROPPONMATSU! WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME, WHILE I AM FINALLY HAVING A ROBOT FOR SEX?"
She yelled, "Is this the thanks I get, you little punk? You came to my life, you ruined my fun, you even became a criminal… and worst of all…"
She let it out:
"YOU RAPED ME!"
"Excel is completely in out of her words. I truly loved my Lord Il Palazzo… but Excel has a newer romance. Please, Lord Il Palazzo… fix me. Excel needs to be fixed… FREE repairs… I want to…"
She then started to beep, out of complete insanity. She spoke robotically, "Hello… I am Excel XL5 – Maiden for Hire. How may I serve you?"
She went to normal and said, "Oh, no reason, Miss Maiden. Can you please help me with my Hyatt Maiden?"
She then spoke in a robot voice, "At once, your most gracious Excel."
After going through romance and love for a robot, all while escaping her tantalizing past with Ropponmatsu 2, she went off to the brink of irrationality. Excel is not a robot; she's just broken in the head.
Excel beeped, as she went home, walking like a robot.
"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I am XL5! Hail… my creator!"
Then normal…
"I need to see Hyatt and apologize to her."
…and back…
"BEEP! BOOP! BEEP! I am her, here for your guaranteed service."
…and it went on…
"Excel better hurry, before she leaves me."
"Excel Model… go see Hyatt Model…"
"Excel is so bad, running out of her, like that."
"BEEP! Must go to Pleasure Mode…"
Hyatt found her and cried, "SENIOR!"
She grasped onto her and shouted, "Lord Il Palazzo was worried about you. I want you to see him."
Excel beeped, "Il Palazzo… zzo… zzo… zzo… zozozozozozozo…"
She started to spark and shake, whirring a bit.
Relax. It's normal for Excel… if you call it "normal". I call it Smithy. LOL
She reverted to normal and blushed, "Hyatt… You came ba-, oh, wait… My bad, Hatchan."
She went on, as Hyatt was scared.
"Hatchan… my user. Fix me."
"Hatchan, I think Excel was gyp…"
"Gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp-gyp… Il Pala-a-a-a-a-a…"
SLAP!
Hyatt slapped her and shouted, "STOP IT! YOU'RE SCARING ME!"
Excel blushed and started to cry. She sobbed, "Excel doesn't know… Why is she cursed by a horrible past?"
She wailed, "WAH! Excel needs help! Fix me, for I am a Maiden for Excel… GAH! Not again! HELP ME!"
SLAP!
"Snap out of it, Senior!" Hyatt pleaded, "Ever since she came to you, you have gotten worse off!"
She coughed blood, as Excel snapped, "Why me? Why am I cursed to be dating a robot, since that punk raped me? Excel is losing her womanhood, her feminine capacity, her happiness, and little pea-sized mind!"
She whispered, "Hatchan… What is wrong with me?"
XXXXX
Excel was on a couch, speaking to Lord Il Palazzo, who was conducting her mind. Also, there was no one to consult to the hyperactive ACROSS member.
"Now, Agent Excel… Can you remember how it all happened?" He said, as he was writing on a clipboard.
Excel explained, in a normal manner, "Well… It happened about years ago… After you gave us a praise of our missions, involving a bomb and a panda, we…"
She then went on about how they got the Ropponmatsus, from back in Episode 16. She also mentioned that they were criminals, stealing money and food, while having lunch in the park. By the time she got to being surrounded by the police, Ropponmatsu 2 suddenly did it to her.
Excel sobbed, "It was horrible. Excel lost her womanhood to a mechanical fembot! Of course, Excel didn't know, until…"
"Shut up, you fascist puppet of the state!" Ropponmatsu 2 shouted.
"Don't agitate them…"Excel groaned.
"Okay!" She cheered.
BANG!
She was shot in the head with a sniper bullet. She fell dead, but got up.
"OW! That hurt!" Ropponmatsu 2 whined, rubbing her head.
"AAH! WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?"
"And when I examined her…"
She examined her head, showing chrome and lights.
"HOLY TEACAKES! YOU'RE A ROBOT!" She screeched.
Ropponmatsu 2 said, "Yeah. Haven't you figured it out? How else can we shoot laser and missiles?"
"Come to think of it, you're right."
Excel continued, "After the first one that swooned over Hatchan shorted out, the second robot rushed over to stop a huge weapon. When I screamed to her, since she got Menchi… it broke her heart."
"ROPPONMATSU!"
Ropponmatsu 2 said, "Big sister Excel… You said my name. That's the first time… you said…"
"Ropponmatsu! Give back my Emergency food supply!"
CRACK!
Those words broke Ropponmatsu 2's heart.
"I can't believe those were the last words I'll ever hear! Big sister is SO MEAN!"
BOOM!
"Menchi! And also Ropponmatsu!"
"And like that… she was gone…" Excel sniffled, "That image still burned into Excel's mind, like it was recorded on TiVo. Excel tried to forget… I lost my mind, because of it. I never chose to be a lover in a Yuri/Shoujo-Ai routine… All I wanted was to make you happy that we'd complete our mission."
"When was that?" Il Palazzo explained.
Excel sobbed, "I don't know! Excel doesn't remember when, which is why I wanted to forget! But when you mention that damn Maiden for Hire, Excel didn't want it! But I couldn't DIZ-OH-BAY-YA-ORE-DARS!"
"Disobey your orders"
She pounded her fist on the pillow, "WHY? Why must life be so cruel? Excel is cursed!"
"You're not cursed. That was considered your First Time… in a bad way."
"Huh?"
"Agent Excel, I know that it was long ago, but you needn't worry your pretty little face. What happened was so tainted… that I, too, couldn't try to remember. This, of course, led you to the brink of insanity, following you sex escapades with the Maiden for Hire. I'm surprised that you lasted over two months with her that it's partially my fault."
Excel pleaded, "NO! NO! NO! NO! Excel doesn't blame you! NOT AT ALL! It's just so…"
She cried and wept, as she sat up from her couch, "Lord Il Palazzo… Thank you…"
She threw down her cyan jacket and sobbed, "I mean it… Excel still loves you."
She turned away and sobbed, "Goodbye!"
She ran off, with tears in her eyes, running out of the HQ. It seems that Excel may have resigned from ACROSS. Il Palazzo watched on and smiled. He got up and held up Excel's jacket. He then grinned evilly and spoke of Excel.
"She'll be back. She always does."
Maiden Experiment
Today's Mission… … …Failed!
But the story's not yet over…
Back at Excel's home, she toolkit, with a book "Maidens for Hire FOR DUMMIES", and approached the deactivated Hyatt Robot. She then sobbed and said "Hyatt Robot… I'm going to make you mine… One day…"
She opened her back head panel and read the book, carefully.
"To examine his/her brain pattern, plug in USB port to computer or monitor, with a USB support…"
By the way, she borrowed some computer stuff from downstairs. Plus, Iwata, Watanabe, and Sumiyoshi had some leftover stuff to lend her.
Watanabe was pissed, as he knew about the robot, "GOD! I cannot believe she was a robot! Why didn't I see that coming?"
Saw that… Sumiyoshi said.
Iwata laughed, as Watanabe was angry. He then said, "Oh, come now! That ridiculous Maiden? She looked exactly like your girlfriend."
"So, the Maiden did look like Miss Ayasugi. And that girl next door wanted to reprogram her!"
Coincidental, much?
"Easy for you to say," he snuffed, "At least we owe her, after I wanted to try her out."
And?
Iwata sighed, "It's her Maiden. She would've let you ask."
Watanabe pouted, "I did…"
And then what?
"She said no."
He was in his own disdain, all sad and gloomy.
Bummer… Sumiyoshi said.
Iwata smiled, "One day, I'm going to own, if I get the money, a Matsuya Maiden, complete with a Butler of you, pal."
Watanabe sobbed, "Do whatever you want; just treat them with care… moron."
Matsuya, from the office, then said, "I have no idea, but remind me to kill Iwata, the next time I see him at work."
XXXXX
Excel started to type in some stuff into Hyatt Maiden, as she viewed her files.
"Wow… She must be very intelligent. But according to the Maidens for Hire Hotline, they can be altered a bit, just as long as their Basic Programming is still intact. Excel finally understands computers… namely the human shaped sex dolls."
She finished, as she disconnects the cords from the monitors and keyboards. She then reactivated her and held her tight.
"Master… Excel…" the robot whispered.
"I'm so sorry…" Excel said, "No matter what… I'm staying with you. I hope you're not mad."
"Mad?" Hyatt Maiden said, "You altered my programming… but you made sure I was a Maiden…"
She sang:
(Hyatt Maiden): I thank you…
I thank you…
from the bottom of my heart…
Thank you…
Oh, thank you…
And now we'll never be apart…
Master Excel, you know me too well
From west to east, I'll NEVER tell
When we make out, it's so wrong
but I confess, as I sing my song
Thank you… Oh, thank you…
La, la-la, la-la…
She kissed her and said, "I love you, Excel Excel…"
"I love you, too, Hyatt Robot…" Excel smiled.
"Call me Hyatt," she said.
"Hyatt…"
"Excel…"
"Oh, Hyatt…"
"Oh, Excel…"
"Ah! Hyatt…"
"Oh, Excel… Excel…"
ALRIGHT! That's enough! AUGH! How long before they continue on?
Find out in the conclusion…