Note: Sorry for the slow posting. I've just been down and blah again, which means I have zero energy and not a whole lot of motivation to bother with editing and posting. Hopefully I'll be back on my feet soon. Thanks for the reviews and support.

(And lol Aofery. My apologies to your poor mother. Yeah, I actually like responding to reviews, but it can be a little harder to respond to guests since I don't know what they'll see. But you're right, half the problems in Noragami could be solved if the charries just communicated with each other lol)

Chapter 3

Yukine burst into the shop and looked around wildly. "Is Yato here?"

Kofuku and Daikoku were stocking shelves together—a somewhat unusual occurrence since Daikoku usually preferred that Kofuku keep her troublesome aura out of the shop—and smiling at something they'd said. Now they turned puzzled eyes on Yukine.

"Not unless he walked inside within the past five minutes," said Kofuku.

Daikoku's brows drew together. "Wasn't he supposed to be with you?"

"Are you alright, Yukki?" Kofuku put down a box and drifted towards Yukine. Concern clouded her eyes. "Your eyes are all red."

Yukine's lips trembled, and he could feel tears pricking at the very corners of his eyes again. "We…had a…fight. Sort of." He sniffed and dragged the back of his hand across his eyes. "I don't know where he went."

Daikoku's eyes hardened and he cracked his knuckles. "I'll beat some sense into him for you."

Yukine was already shaking his head. "It's not his fault," he whispered. "It's mine."

"What happened, Yukki?" Kofuku asked.

But Yukine clamped his mouth shut and refused to divulge any of the details. He was ashamed of what he had done. Anyway, it would feel wrong to spill the whole story to someone else when he had refused to tell Yato anything at all for nearly two weeks even though the god had asked many times.

Kofuku and Daikoku did their best to cheer him up and distract him, but Yukine's mind was a million miles away. He was always listening for the door, on edge in anticipation of Yato's return even though he was sure the god would stay away for a while yet, and didn't feel up to things like talking or eating lunch or doing math homework. He almost wished Hiyori was here to tell him what he should do, but she wouldn't be coming today because she was swamped with exams.

He was on his own, just him and his thoughts. And they weren't pretty thoughts. He had been so stupid to let his doubts push him into testing Yato so cruelly. Yato could be a bit confusing and hard to read sometimes, but he had clearly always cared and was usually pretty open with his affections. He was definitely more open about them than Yukine was. If anyone had a reason to question their place in the relationship, it was Yato. Yukine was the one who had a hard time openly admitting how much he cared and resorted to sarcasm and insults instead.

And he was the one who had just wrecked everything. He had been so busy questioning Yato that he hadn't realized he was the one steadily driving a wedge between them.

He watched the sky steadily darkening outside the window, and the last dregs of his hope dwindled away with the light.

"He's not coming back, is he?" he asked in a small, wavering voice.

Kofuku and Daikoku exchanged a look.

"Maybe Yato-chan needs a little space for tonight," Kofuku said carefully.

"He'll be fine," Daikoku said gruffly, standing and turning away to check the timer on the oven. "He's lived out on his own for a long time. He can take care of himself for a night."

Kofuku smiled reassuringly, although it didn't quite reach its normal brightness. "I'm sure Yato-chan will be back bright and early! Don't worry, Yukki. Everything will be okay. You and Yato-chan get along so well—you'll work things out in no time!"

Yukine wished he could share their confidence. They were so concerned because they could see how upset he'd been all day, but they didn't understand the magnitude of what he had done.

He looked back out the window and shuddered at the thought of Yato trapped out in the suffocating darkness, alone and hurting. If Yukine had any idea of where he might be, he would run out and beg forgiveness and bring his god home with him.

He sat up straight with a jolt as a thought occurred to him. It was true that Yato could be anywhere. He'd need to cleanse his blight at a shrine and might want to spend the night at one to stay safe from the ayakashi that prowled the darkness, but there were tons of shrines sprinkled about and he would choose one Yukine didn't know if he was determined to stay hidden. If he didn't want to be found, there would be no way to find him.

But—but!—if he wanted to be sure Yukine could find him if there was an emergency…if he was still willing to come when Yukine needed him… If Yato was kind enough to keep a hand held out even after Yukine had rejected him, then he would pick a place Yukine knew and would think of.

"I have to go." Yukine jumped to his feet, fear and hope warring in his chest.

Daikoku stuck his head back out of the kitchen. "He could be anywhere, and he knows how to disappear. Just give him some time He'll come back when he's ready."

"I might know where he is."

"But it's dark!" Kofuku said, chewing on her lip and casting a glance out the window.

Yukine swallowed hard. "I know. But…I need to make this right."

"Wait." Daikoku rummaged through a drawer and then crossed the room to hand Yukine a flashlight. "Here. We can come with you and–"

"Thanks." Yukine grabbed the flashlight and dashed to the door, barely taking the time to slip into his shoes. "But I need to do this myself. I'll be back later."

He rushed out the door and flicked on the flashlight. The darkness pressed all around and his heart jumped into his throat, but streetlamps lined his path and the flashlight cast a small circle of warm light just ahead of him.

"Yukki!" Kofuku called after him. "Your coat!"

But Yukine was already running, his sneakers slapping against the pavement and echoing too loudly in the night, and he was afraid that if he stopped his headlong rush and went back, he'd lose his nerve and be unable to force himself to come back out. The cold air burned in his lungs and sank its teeth right through his sweater, but he barely cared about the cold when the dark was right there.

He could almost feel ayakashi watching him from the shadows, and it felt like the darkness itself was alive and closing in to trap him. He tried to close his eyes against the leering shadows, but his heart thundered from more than just exertion and fear gripped his chest. He clutched the flashlight like a lifeline until his fingers ached and narrowed his focus to the small circle of yellow light. He was safe as long as he had the light. He could do this.

He was panting and trembling by the time he reached Tenjin's shrine and raced up the steps. His heart sank so fast that the freefall made him nauseous. Yato was not stretched out across the table like in the old days.

The circle of light shivered as the flashlight shook in Yukine's hand. He had been wrong. He had pushed Yato much too far, and now the god was gone.

"No," he mumbled, his heart cracking.

What had he done?

"What are you doing?" rasped a voice from the recesses of the shrine. "It's dark."

Yukine started in surprise and scrambled around the stone table. A pair of bright blue eyes watched him from where the deepest shadows had gathered in the corner, glowing like stars in the night.

"Yato!" Yukine shone the flashlight at the corner, illuminating the god sitting scrunched up against the wall in a defeated position that made him look small and alone. Yato winced and squinted against the light, and Yukine quickly directed it at a point off to his right. "Sorry. I was looking for you."

"Why?" Yato's voice was somewhere between tired and painfully flat. His eyes shone cool and expressionless in the half-light. "Did you find a new god already? You work fast."

Yukine's relief at finding Yato here gave way to guilt and uncertainty and awkwardness. He had no idea how to handle this or what to say, and his shame made him want to curl up in a ball instead of facing the damage he had done.

"No," he said, his voice quivering. "No, I didn't mean it, Yato. I'm sorry. Please come back."

"You could have told me." Yato's blank expression didn't change. It seemed like his eyes somehow stared right through Yukine like he wasn't there at all and scoured deep down to his soul all at the same time. "I knew it was something I was doing. You stung me when you said it had nothing to do with me. But I can't fix what I'm doing wrong if you won't tell me what it is. If you had just told me, maybe we could have worked something out.

"I know I'm not the best master, that I drive you crazy sometimes and can't give you everything you need, but… I thought we were doing okay." The slightest hint of a waver touched his voice, and he hunched his shoulders even further and tightened his arms around his folded legs as his chin sank behind his knees. "You could at least tell me why."

Yukine was shaking his head, horrified, and his eyes clouded over with tears. Of course Yato thought it was something he had done, that he wasn't good enough. Looking back, that was exactly what Yukine's behavior had been saying.

"It's not your fault," Yukine said thickly. "You didn't do anything wrong. I didn't mean it."

Yato's eyes stayed hollow, devoid of their usual expressiveness, and Yukine searched for a way to make his god believe him. Yato could tell when he was lying, couldn't he? He had gotten a minor prick when Yukine said it had nothing to do with him and drawn the wrong conclusions, after all.

"You know when I'm lying, right?" Yukine dropped to a crouch and held Yato's gaze with some difficulty. It was hard to meet his eyes, but this was important and he needed Yato to understand. "I don't want you to release me, and I never did. I'm happy with you and I don't want another master."

Yato stared back, eyes dull and unblinking. "Then why?"

Yukine opened his mouth, but no sound came out. What could he say? 'Oh, I was just letting Nora get in my head and convince me that maybe you don't really care about me, and I was testing you because apparently I don't trust you at all even after everything you've done for me. Don't take it personally.' The truth was just as ugly as the fiction. Yukine didn't have such a hard time telling Yato only because he was embarrassed—although he definitely was and it would be an awkward conversation under even the best of circumstances, which these were most emphatically not—but because he knew it would hurt the god too.

"I'm sorry!" he wailed. The flashlight fell from his hand and clattered to the ground, rolling in an arc and sending the circle of light spinning off where it was no longer useful. He lurched forward and threw his arms around Yato, even though he knew they weren't on the best terms right now and he wasn't much of a hugger to begin with. That had always been Yato's job, but right now he wasn't in any state to be performing it. "I'm really sorry! I was being really stupid, and I won't do it again. Please come back."

Yato stiffened, but eventually shifted his legs out of the way and tangled one hand loosely in the shinki's hair. He let Yukine sniffle into his chest in silence for several long minutes before sighing.

"This has gone too far," he said tiredly. "You're going to have to tell me what happened. It's already spiraling out of control."

Yukine knew that, he did, but he had no idea how he could tell Yato without just making things worse.

"I–I–I can't…"

There was a long pause, and then another heavy sigh. "Tomorrow, then. But you have to."

Yukine mumbled something wordless and unintelligible that could be mistaken for agreement. Maybe he could come up with some likely excuses tonight.

Yato pushed him away gently. Unzipping his jacket, he draped it around Yukine's shoulders before unfolding his limbs and rising to his feet stiffly. Yukine realized suddenly that his teeth were chattering and slipped his shivering arms into the sleeves without complaint. He could make up some excuse about sweat and give it back since Yato's shirt, although long-sleeved, was much thinner than Yukine's sweater and the god still felt the cold even when he didn't complain about it, but he was freezing and found it hard to say anything at all to Yato when his throat was all closed up.

"We should get you home," Yato said.

He stretched his legs out without so much as a wince to give away cramping muscles and stooped to pick up the flashlight from the ground. The circle of light stayed steady and unwavering in his hand, and Yukine sidled over close to his side. Yato started down the stairs without even glancing over, but he readjusted the flashlight so that the light fell directly at Yukine's feet.

They walked back in smothering silence, with Yukine shivering in Yato's jacket and stealing glances at his quiet companion. Yato seemed to be staring at nothing, lost somewhere in his own mind, and Yukine couldn't work up the nerve to try talking to him again.

Yato was coming back and that was something, but Yukine understood that this wasn't over. He might still be in danger of losing his god. He had pushed too far, and now it seemed like Yato was slipping away. The distance yawned wide between them despite their close proximity, and the ground felt shaky beneath Yukine's feet.

"Yukki!" Kofuku cried when they made it back and closed the door behind him. "You found him! Are you alright, Yato-chan?"

"Fine," said Yato.

"You made it back just in time for dinner," Daikoku said, glancing uncertainly between the estranged god and shinki. "We were waiting for you."

"I'm not hungry." Yato handed Daikoku the flashlight and brushed past him to make for the stairs, head bowed and eyes hollow. "I'm going to bed."

Yukine took an aborted step after him, afraid to let him go but not knowing what to do. "I…"

"You should eat something," Yato said as he climbed the stairs. "Goodnight."

He disappeared from view, the door clicking shut behind him. Yukine shrank back into his borrowed jacket, feeling small and miserable, and Kofuku and Daikoku were shooting each other looks again as they guided him to the kitchen and dished out dinner.

"What happened?" Daikoku asked. "He seems…pretty out of it."

Yukine poked at his food halfheartedly and ate a few bites even though they tasted like cardboard. "I hurt him," he said finally. "I didn't mean to, but… I don't really know what to do."

"You…do realize that your emotions are affecting him?" Daikoku said, choosing his words with care. "You've seemed a little out of sorts lately, and now you feel bad about whatever happened today. Just…calm down a little. Getting worked up is only going to make it worse for both of you. Maybe you can just talk to him about whatever is going on and apologize for anything that happened. I'm sure he'll forgive you for anything you might have done."

"Of course he will!" Kofuku leaned across the table to pat Yukine on the head. "Yato-chan adores you! You make him happy, and he's always really proud of you! He brags about you all the time. He'd do anything for you, you know. I'm sure you can sort things out with him no problem!"

Yukine's stomach roiled and he pushed his plate away. The words were meant to be comforting, but they only made him feel a thousand times worse. It seemed like everyone else had zero doubts about how much Yato cared, so why had Yukine let Nora put them into his head?

"Actually, I'm going to bed too," he mumbled.

He left them whispering together in the kitchen and felt their gazes boring into his back until he escaped from view. He climbed the stairs slowly, nervous about what might happen when he reached the top.

The light was already off, but his lamp had been turned on to cast his futon in a circle of light. Yukine hovered in the doorway and eyed Yato uncertainly. The god was wrapped up in his blankets, lying on his side and facing away from the door.

"Yato?" Yukine whispered.

Yato didn't respond for a long moment, but then he rolled onto his back and let his head fall to the side to stare at Yukine with dull eyes. "What is it?"

Yukine swallowed hard and his hand tightened on the doorframe. "I'm really sorry," he whispered.

"…I know." The crescents of blue disappeared as Yato closed his eyes again. "Goodnight."

Yukine lingered in the doorway for a moment longer, but it was obvious that no further response was forthcoming. He closed the door and crept across the floor to curl up in his bed, too dejected to even bother with changing out of his clothes.

He pulled the covers up beneath his chin and stared out at the lamplight and darkness beyond for a long time as the thoughts raced through his mind. He didn't know how to fix this, and he was much too aware of Yato somewhere behind him a million miles away.

But apparently he did fall asleep eventually, because the next thing he knew, Yato and Nora were standing in front of him. Yato's expression was that same blank mask he had picked up so recently and was devastatingly at odds with his normal sunny nature, while Nora's was smug and triumphant.

"Don't," Yukine pleaded, because he knew what was about to happen. "Please–"

"Isn't this what you wanted?" Yato asked flatly.

"N-no, I–!"

"That's what you get for being such a cruel child," Nora said. She smiled and pressed herself close to Yato's side, glancing up at the god with a slyly satisfied expression. "You don't need such a bad shinki, Yato. You have me. Me and Father. Let's go home, Yaboku."

Yato lifted his hand, and Yukine lunged forward, panic clawing at his chest.

"Sekki, I hereby release you of the name I've bestowed upon you."

Yato slashed his hand through the air in a quick, sharp motion, and the name binding Yukine's heart shattered into a million jagged pieces. Yukine cried out in pain, in loss, and clutched uselessly at his chest. He caught one glimpse of Yato's bright blue eyes staring back at him, and then the god seemed to shatter like glass and vanish into the ether. Yato was gone, gone for good, and Yukine fell to his knees as sobs racked his body. What had he done?

"Poor little boy," Nora cooed with that amused smile. "You're dead. You don't need a family anymore."

"–kine. Yukine."

Yukine started with a gasp, his eyes flying open, and found himself staring at Yato. The god was crouched down on his haunches by his bedside, poking at the shinki.

"Y-Yato?" Yukine rasped, incomprehension thickening his voice. Wasn't Yato gone?

The god tilted his head as if searching Yukine's face. There was still a flat, distant sheen to his eyes, but he was here.

"You were having a nightmare, I think," he said.

He disappeared behind a filmy haze of tears that quickly spilled down Yukine's face. Yukine could still feel that aching sense of loss in his chest, like he had just lost half his heart…or was about to.

"I'm so sorry!" he wailed. "Please don't leave!"

He curled up into a ball and buried his face in his knees. It hurt, everything hurt, and he was getting lightheaded because he couldn't breathe past his crying.

The mattress shifted and something brushed against his leg. He raised his head and blinked back his tears to see Yato slithering underneath the covers. The god nudged Yukine with his foot until the shinki wriggled back a few inches to make more room.

"I'm here." Yato sighed and draped an arm over Yukine. "It's okay. Go back to sleep, Yukine."

Yukine choked back another sob and reached out. His hand closed around the fabric of Yato's shirt, and he held on tight. It was real. He crept forward and cried into Yato's chest until he finally fell asleep.

Note: To be honest, I'm a little more like Yukine in that I wouldn't want to talk about stuff like this with anyone either. I'd rather work it out by myself. But it definitely becomes a problem when it prods you into pushing at people and constantly questioning and testing them.

Now, if only they'd just communicate properly...

This is what happens when you take two super insecure people and start poking at all their doubts and insecurities X)