Save Me from My Dark Side
Chapter Three
The unmistakable and familiar smell of smoke woke him up. Fast. Oh shit, he was back in the volcano! Or the burning library from Brave Firefighters! Just thinking about it made his code scream with agony. No way was he going through that again!
Turbo popped his eyes open and kicked the covers off him frantically before accidentally falling out of the bed rather hard on his bottom. That's when he realized that he was still in his bedroom. Wait, the bedroom? Holy hot wheels, was the house on fire? He scrambled to his knees and looked around the room, fearing it was covered in blazes.
There wasn't any fire that he could see but there was definitely smoke and lots of it. Smoke meant fire. Fire meant pain. Turbo didn't want any more of that in his life. The memory of being burned alive came to him full force and he shuddered involuntarily.
"Honey?" he asked, pulling himself up with the mattress to peek onto the bed.
Rosie wasn't in the bed anymore, so obviously she was elsewhere in the house. Fear grabbed a strong hold of him as he imagined her getting eaten alive by flames. How a fire had started in the house, he had no clue nor did he care. He crawled over the bed and nearly tripped face-first into the bedroom door, swinging it open and dashing out into the short hallway right before getting to the kitchen.
Smoke enveloped him almost immediately; the kitchen appeared to be the source of it. Coughing, he held his arm in front of his mouth and tried to fan it away from him so he could see.
"Rosie?" he called out between coughs as he neared the end of the hallway in view of the kitchen.
"Crap, you weren't supposed to wake up," he heard her say in disappointment.
She was at the sink running the faucet over a burning pan of...something. She had this cute little apron on and her hair was pulled back into a messy twist-knot. Turbo had to wipe his eyes due to tearing up from the smoke, then went downstairs to open a few windows so it would begin to dissipate. Hopefully the rest of East Niceland didn't come banging on the door asking what the heck was going on. The last thing he wanted was a houseful of visitors tearing his house apart in a frenzy.
"You trying to burn the damn house down?" he asked in slight aggravation once he came back up.
Rosie bit her lip sheepishly and pushed a fallen lock of her hair behind her ear. "I was trying to cook you breakfast."
He looked at her like she'd just said she'd grown two heads over night, then looked at the pan in the sink then at the stove then back at her. Breakfast. She'd been trying to cook breakfast. No fire, just burnt eggs. Or whatever the hell it used to be. He felt like an idiot for overreacting but at the same time he was relieved that that's all it was.
"I thought it might make you feel better, having breakfast in bed," Rosie explained quietly, fiddling with her hands and looking down at her little bare feet. "Since you didn't sleep very well last night."
Turbo couldn't help but smile at that; even though he knew it was her nature to cheer people up, he hadn't quite readjusted to it yet due to being away from her for so long. He wrapped his arms all the way around her for a big bear hug and kissed her on the cheek.
"That is so sweet of you," he said lovingly as he leaned back some to look at her. "Thank you."
"There's not really anything to thank me for since I burnt it all," she replied glumly, keeping her eyes cast down to avoid his gaze.
"Surely something's salvageable," he said in attempt to be reassuring.
Rosie cast her eyes to the stove with an expression that read of pained embarrassment then shifted them back at him. "I don't think you'd eat it."
"If you're going to go through the trouble of setting the kitchen on fire, the least I can do is try it."
Turbo flashed her an optimistic grin for added measure.
"I don't want you getting food poisoning," she fretted as he released her and went forth to inspect the remains of her failed cooking attempt.
"Baby, I survived a volcanic explosion," he reminded her, saying it as though it had been but a simple scratch he had endured. "I don't think anything you feed me is going to be worse than that."
He peered over the stove and...cocked his head over trying to figure out exactly what was what. Turned out, she wasn't exaggerating. Something that resembled what used to be bacon was crumbled into black shriveled lumps in one pan. Another pan held what appeared to be the remains of...he couldn't even make a guess. Sausage maybe. He made a face to himself so she wouldn't see it, trying to think of something to say without hurting her feelings.
"Well...it's certainly...well done," he said slowly, trying to sound as enthused as possible. He squinted into another pan. "And the...pancake doesn't look that bad."
Rosie ducked her chin down and covered her eyes with one hand, completely mortified. "That's the egg."
He blinked once at the...egg-cake? Pan-egg?
"Oh."
"The pancake is what's in the sink," she explained further, wanting to die on the spot.
Turbo hesitantly picked it up by the edge, almost afraid to touch it. It felt like rubber and it was so stiff that it didn't even flop in the least when he tried to shake it. He put it down in the pan gently, trying to stifle a laugh.
"Well...I guess if the roof leaks, we can use it for a shingle," he tried to joke, a few chuckles sliding out despite his best effort not to.
"I knew you wouldn't eat it."
He turned around and saw the frown Rosie was wearing, who was more than disappointed that her attempt at a surprise had not gone well, and he instantly felt like the world's biggest jerk. She'd tried to cheer him up and he'd made fun of it. He went to wrap his arms back around her so he could look her in the face.
"It was a good first try," he said to her, which was sort of a lie. He had eaten better when he was still hiding out in Anteater living off bugs and worms...raw ones.
She didn't seem to buy it.
"You just have to practice," he continued, trying to sound supportive. "I mean, neither of us were programmed with chef skills, you know."
A hint of a smile finally came to her at that one. "Guess I'm not going to be much of a Susie Homemaker anytime soon."
"It's the thought that counts, and yours was very sweet."
He gave her a quick kiss and patted her on the butt to make her smile bigger.
"Tell you what, I'll clean up in here while you go freshen yourself up," Turbo offered, giving her his best charming smile. "We'll go hit up BurgerTime, how's that? Ol' Pete hasn't tossed me out yet."
It was meant to be a joke but Rosie saw through it, knowing it hurt his feelings more than he let on about getting booted out of every other place they visited. A hint of mischief played in her eyes as she tugged the knot loose on her apron, slipping it off and then looping around his neck to pull him in for a sweet kiss. She lingered just long enough to make him think she was going to give him another one but she gently pushed him back at the last second.
"Don't take too long," she sang suggestively as she rubbed herself past him, running a single finger across his back as she did so. "I'd hate to use up all the hot water by myself."
That was the fastest that kitchen ever got cleaned.
BurgerTime after the arcade closed was usually swarming with customers and this time was no exception. If it weren't for Tapper's, the restaurant would have a line out the door. Luckily, a few other games also had their own little joints within them and some people actually knew how to cook on their own, so it never got too busy.
Since it was a "seat yourself" establishment, there was no need to wait on someone to seat them. A few soldiers from Hero's Duty were sitting on the other end and they waved, having been surprisingly forgiving of Turbo's role in the "Hologram Incident" and naturally grateful to have their memories back and having a new General that wasn't power-hungry. Rosie waved back happily with full force; Turbo sort of ducked his head down and did a quick courtesy wave, like the kind one gives when passing someone they know on the highway.
The racer knew he didn't have to worry about being thrown out of here, he had been assured of that more than once by Peter Pepper himself. A guy's gotta eat after all, had been the jolly chef's reasoning. Besides, he remembered the two of them coming in all the time on dates back in the '80s and it did an old heart good to see they were still together. Peter took their order personally to avoid any conflict with his staff, which of course consisted of his game's villains (whom he was friends with after-hours).
"Stick around when you're done, I'll let you have shakes on the house," he offered with a wink. "Strawberry for the lady and chocolate for the chap, right?"
"Glad you still remember," Rosie smiled at him.
"How could I forget?" he shrugged. "You two were some of my favorite customers."
He patted Turbo on top of his helmet, which he hated but he didn't say anything. "If you have any trouble, come talk to me, all right?"
The racer gave him a small embarrassed grin and a thumbs up for an answer.
After he left, Turbo glanced around the restaurant and winced a few times whenever he saw someone shoot him a dirty look. Blanka and M. Bison from Street Fighter II both gave him a hard look, the latter cracking his knuckles where the racer could see them. He gulped and slid in his seat a little, drumming his fingers against the table. His nose felt a phantom pain as he remembered the punch he had received a few days ago from the caped fighter.
Rosie noticed and she shot her own glare at the two larger men, which effectively made them stop staring and focus on their own business. She pulled Turbo under his arm to make him sit up straight and not look like such a bully victim, even if technically that's what he was, and she gave him a reassuring grin to let him know it was all right. He gave her a faint smile back just so she wouldn't worry about him.
"Hey there, you two!" Felix greeted them happily, nearing giving them a fright since they hadn't seen him pop up. "If I'd known you were coming along, we could've walked over together!"
"It wasn't a planned trip," Rosie told him, waving for him to sit down.
Turbo felt better having another supporter with him and perked up a bit.
"She tried to burn the house down cooking breakfast," he told Felix in jest, throwing an arm around Rosie to tug her closer. "Only been married a week and she's already after the insurance money."
"Oh, you tried to cook?" Felix asked her with interest. "Not to brag, but I know a thing or two about that if you ever need some advice."
Rosie smiled at him in appreciation. "Thanks, that'd be great!"
Turbo was surprised and ashamed of himself at the twinge of jealousy he suddenly felt, chiding himself mentally that Felix was also married and was just offering out of kindness. Peter came back at that time with the couple's order and said his hello to Felix. He was about to ask him what he wanted but Felix held up a hand to stop him.
"I'm going to wait for Tammy to come first," the handyman explained politely. "She's still doing her daily perimeter check."
Turbo grinned and whispered in Rosie's ear, "Yeah, I bet he waits for her to come first."
She smirked and dug her elbow in his ribs to hush him up. "You're terrible."
"So I hear."
He regretted letting that slip out the second he saw the worry wash over her face. Quickly, he flashed a grin at her to show he didn't really mean it...even though he did.
"Sorry, just kidding."
Rosie looked at him skeptically before turning her attention back to her meal. Felix had turned around to chat with Mario and Luigi who were sitting in the booth behind theirs so he wasn't paying attention to either of them. Turbo was admittedly picky about how his burger was made so he lifted the top bun to inspect it.
No ketchup.
He lowered his eyes at it as if threatening to punish it for being incorrect, then dropped the bun carelessly back down. A quick glance at the table they were at showed him that there was no ketchup bottle sitting on it, only a napkin holder, salt and pepper. He raised up in his seat, sweeping his eyes over the other tables to see if any ketchup bottles were on them.
"What are you doing?" Rosie asked after swallowing, dabbing her mouth with a napkin.
"Ketchup," he answered flatly and that was the only answer she needed.
He finally spotted a table that had one...unfortunately it was occupied by Thomas Rogan and his partner Agent G from The House of the Dead. Turbo couldn't help but gulp. Those guys were total badass zombie killers.
Rosie followed his gaze and felt a knot form in her stomach. She didn't want a scene getting started anymore than he did.
"I can go get it for you," she offered kindly, saying it quietly so no one would hear.
"I'm perfectly capable of getting it myself," Turbo snapped. "I'm not a damn invalid."
Her nerves jumped at the snippy tone he used and she stared at him quietly with big eyes. Turbo's eyes shifted down to her and he instantly felt remorseful.
"Sorry," he whispered, leaning down a bit to kiss the top of her head. "I'll be right back."
He slid out of the booth and headed over to the zombie hunters, a feeling of dread and anticipation coming over him. Felix turned back around in his seat and Rosie pointed to where Turbo had gone off to, a look of growing concern evident on her face. Felix twisted his head around to see for himself, silently hoping that he wouldn't need to use his hammer soon.
Turbo heard a few murmurs from other patrons as he made his way to his destination. He kept trying to tell himself that he was being ridiculous and that it was perfectly okay to ask someone for a freaking ketchup bottle. What the hell was wrong with him? Just last week he'd had an epic showdown with an insane general bent on mass homicide, what could be so hard about doing this simple task?
Turbo, the greatest racer ever, escape artist extraordinaire, and mastermind of code hacking afraid to ask someone for the most mundane of objects. Ludicrous!
That seemed to be enough of a pep-talk to persuade him to get a grip on himself. Rogan and G didn't seem to notice him approach them, unless they were just ignoring him. Turbo cleared his throat to interrupt their conversation. They both turned their heads slowly towards him in unison, which was actually a lot creepier than it sounded like.
"Um, is it okay if I borrow the ketchup?" the racer asked nicely with his friendliest grin, perspiration starting to bead on his forehead from anxiety.
The two men exchanged glances, smirked at each other knowingly, then turned their eyes back to Turbo.
Before he could even process what was going on, G had swiftly swung his leg out in order to knock Turbo's feet out from under him which resulted him roughly landing on his back. Pain shot through his spine and he gritted his teeth to keep from making any type of noise to indicate that it had actually hurt.
"Sure, you can have some," Rogan replied with a mocking tone, proceeding to forcefully squirt the condiment all over him.
The patrons reacted at first with shocked gasps then it quickly escalated into riotous laughter. God, this was more humiliating than getting thrown out into the Station. Turbo made himself try to at least sit up and he stared at horror at his hands.
Red. Blood.
Holy Namco, Taito, and Konami.
The twins...they'd been drenched in blood.
"Youuu KILLED usssss!"
He'd beaten them to death using only his bare hands and a shift-change stick.
"Turbo, stop, PLEASE!"
The room swirled. Colors and sounds mixed together in his head as the random visions flashed in front of his mind. Images of the twins going back and forth from pleading for their lives to threatening to kill him in his dream made him dizzy. He saw the RoadBlasters driver laughing in his face, he saw Vanellope shrinking back from him when she found out who "King Candy" was, he saw everyone he passed in the arcade staring at him as if he was...
A murderer. To others, that's all he was and all he'd ever be.
"I'm begging you, PLEASE!"
"Are you CRAZY?!"
"Aaaand now, weeee willll kill YOU!"
He vomited.