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I've seen a lotta horrible things in my time. I've seen our treehouse smash-a-fied while one of my best friends was turned into an adult while I was to forced to watch. I've seen kids eat birthday cake after a whole load of baby chicks, er…finished their business on said cake. Heck, I've kissed a Senior Citi-zombie and I'm still having sessions with Numbuh Ph.D about that one!
But all that? It's nothing compared to the horror I was staring dead in the face at this exact moment.
"Patton," I whispered. I went to my knees, slowly cradling the boy's head in my hands. The poor guy was knocked out cold, but after looking down, I'm almost glad he was. "What did they do to you?"
It was almost too much to bare. Numbuh Sixty: Arctic Commander of the Kids Next Door, a guy I respect almost as much as Nigel, was reduced to this sorry state. His beanie was gone, replaced by some fairy crown with glitter all over it. His face was covered in make-up, from eye-liner to glossy lip-stick. His clothes were gone, replaced with a frilly pink ballerina tutu. They had girl-a-fied him from his head down to the glass slippers on his feet.
That shoulda been the worst of it, but it didn't stop there. As if they were puttin' the cherry on his humiliation pie, Patton had been totally drenched in perfume. Okay, maybe it wasn't that bad, but that was a strong scent. I couldn't stop myself, taking a big ol' whiff of the stuff. It was then for the third time tonight that smell met my sniffer.
Lilac and gooseberries.
The plot…uh...
...the plot…
Crud.
Hold on a second-
Hey, Numbuh Five? What's that thing the plot does when stuff gets complicated?
Thickens, Wally. The plot thickens.
…Thickens! Yeah, that's right. Thank you!
No problem, baby.
Back to the story. I looked away in disgust, thousands of questions running like a hamster wheel in my mind. But out of all the questions I had, there was only one that stood out. I don't know what kind of sicko would do this to a kid against their will, but whenever I found out who would, I was gonna make 'em wish they'd never step foot in this treehouse.
But first, I had to help my friend.
"Patton, hey Patton!" I called out, lightly smacking his cheek. It wasn't working. Guy was totally out of it. "C'mon, man, wake up!"
Seeing that my attempts weren't working, I stood up and wandered a bit down the hall. Time to lean on other methods.
SPLASH!
"AAHH!" That got him up. Patton snapped up, spitting out stray water that got into his mouth. I dropped my bucket and waited for him to recover, grimacing at how the make-up was running down his face. "Wha-What the heck happened? Why am I wet? Wait a sec…"
Three, two, one.
"WHY AM I IN A TUTU?"
"Rise 'n' shine, mate," I greeted, helping him to his feet. Guy was so stunned out of his mind, he needed all the leverage he could get. "Looks like tonight ain't your night."
"I-I don't understand, why am I dressed up like this?" He looked down at himself, horror etched into his eyes. He pinched the pink material, wincing at the tightness of it. "This isn't even my right size!"
"Looks like someone was hankerin' for a game of dress up," I said, popping a lollipop I found into my mouth. "And it looks like you got to be the dolly."
Patton blinked, his features slowly turning to a frown the longer he stared down at me. "Did you have something to do with this?"
"As if! But don't you worry, with Super Sleuth Numbuh 4 on the case, that no good creep is gonna get what's comin' to 'em." I pulled the recorder from my pouch, leveling it at his face. "Now, what's the last thing ya remember?"
"What is this, CSI?"
"Ya wanna find out who put you in a tutu or not?"
"Fine!" he yelled, throwing his arm up. "I…actually don't remember. There was that trip over here, the fight with Georgette, and then nothing. It's fuzzy, but the last thing I remember was drinking a soda, then I wake up to this nightmare."
"Soda?" I put the recorder away, my foot tapping in concentration. My eyes wandered to the left, stopping once I caught sight of something. "Grapey Gush, am I right?"
"Uh, yeah actually," Patton said. "Good stuff, that gush. Slides down your throat with the right amount of tang. How'd you figure that out?"
"Just a gut feeling." I stepped to the side, bending over to pick up the thing that caught my eye; a discarded can of grapey gush soda. What a waste. It was empty, but there still something inside. I poured it over my finger, hoping to get a drop. I plucked my finger in for a taste, then stumbled before shaking my head. "Blegh! Somebody spiked this!"
"Spiked?"
"Yeah. They musta spiked this with enough knock-out juice to put you outta commission for a good long while. No wonder they were able to dress you up."
"But who would do…do this to me? And why?"
I tossed the can up and down, following it as I tried to piece together those answers myself. "Saw some weirdo leaning over you snapping pictures, and now I know why. This here is some grade-A blackmail material."
Patton began kicking the slippers off, scourging around for his clothes. "Well whoever it is, when I'm find them they're going to need a lot more than that to stop me from doing what I'm gonna do to them! I'll court material 'em!"
"Say, Patton," I piped up, remembering why I was tracking him down in the first place, "you wouldn't happen to have anything to do with Numbuh Ten's missing notes, would ya?"
"What?" He scooped up his clothes in a heap, then looked at me as if I was the one who got dressed up in a tutu. "I have no idea what you're talking about. Now out of my way, I gotta change before someone else sees me. And if you breathe a word of this to anyone, you'll be doing laps around the cadet camp for the rest of your days as an operative!"
I didn't say a word as I stepped to the side, letting Patton hurry back to his room. I was really not up to facing his wrath today. Besides, I still had a case going on. One that was getting more complicated by the minute.
It ain't hard to figure out what was going on. While I can't safely guess Patton did take the notes, he probably knew who did. Or at least an idea. But the real culprit knew he was on to them, so they knocked him out, and are probably using those photos they took as leverage.
Man, Numbuh Ten must be useless without those notes with all the trouble I'm running into trying to find them.
But even still, I finally had a prime suspect. Well, I know someone's going around in a coat to hide themselves at least. So now that I knew for a fact that this was an inside job, I just had to find out where to go to next.
I thought about going back to Hoagie, but soon as I got back in the lobby, I saw him booking it across the room, kids with clippers and spray cans hot on his heels.
He had his own issues to sort out.
'Sides, how is asking him for help gonna prove I'm a detective? I end up asking him for advice, and he'll use that to take credit for this job too. No. From here on out, I'm going solo.
With the trial gone cold, I figured it was time to start asking questions again. I looked around, noticing this one guy tinkering with a camera. Numbuh 9-Film, if I remembered right. He was a techie, so he had to be smart. Smart guy like him might know something. I didn't have anything to lose at this point.
"Hey, 9-Film," I hollered, him pausing to greet me. "Was wonderin' if ya got a sec for a few questions?"
"Sure, was about to go on break anyway," he said as he wiped some grime off his face. I liked this guy. I could always respect a kid who worked with his hands. "What's up? Heh, nice hat by the way."
I nodded before pulling out the recorder. "I'm looking for some important papers. VERY important papers, if ya know what I mean."
"Uh, not really. Could you be more specific?"
"Numbuh 10's stage notes are missing; she sent me to track 'em down. Seen anything weird going on lately?"
"She lost them again? I keep telling her to get a planner," he said, shaking his head. "Well, can't say I can help you there. The only thing I knew that was missing before you showed up was one of our trench coat get-ups."
Great. Another dead-wait. "Trench coat?"
"Yeah. We were doing inventory, and we were one coat short. Probably got misplaced after that mafia bit we did last season."
If this was the same trench coat that I've been seeing earlier, then there ain't no way this is some co-inky-dink. "There anybody around 'ere that could tell me more?"
"Uh, oh! Yeah, Numbuh 11.0 was put in charge of costumes. He should still be in his dressing room right about now. S'probably going over his 'material' for tonight's show."
Not wanting to dawdle, I let 9-Film get back to work as I headed off to Numbuh 11.0's little hideaway. He was a character alright; he's been Numbuh Ten's co-host ever since they started this gig. Apparently he 'works well' off of her or something. It's only reason why I could think a dork like him gets so much screen time.
It'd make sense if he had something to do with all this. Guy was probably tired of playing second fiddle to Numbuh Ten, and all it would take is one good screw up on her part before he can steal the show.
Just when you think you know someone, they pull this kinda crud. Lame.
While I was in the middle of thinking about what I would say, who do I happen to see but our good ol' buddy in the trench coat. They were coming out of Numbuh 11.0's room, quietly closing the door behind them.
Looks like this case is about to be closed!
"Hey you!" I shouted. They froze for a second, then bolted down the hallway. As if I was about to let that loser get away. "Stop right there, ya geek!"
I was gaining on them, smirking because there was no way they were giving me the slip. However, I got too caught up in the moment, for they pulled out a rack of costumes, and I couldn't stop myself in time before running smack dab into them.
Just my luck.
"Whoa!" I was blinded by some red swimming trunks, and I went tumbling down, a mountain of clothes toppling all over me. I shook 'em off, fumbling for my fedora while looking around the area. The no good creep done went and played dirty, and now they were gone.
Well, whatever. I came here to do something else anyway! Kicking a scarf off my leg, I ambled over to Numbuh 11.0's dress room. I jiggled the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked. He's gonna regret that mistake. He may be gone, but surely I could find something in his room that will-
"Hey! What are you doing back here?"
Well, shoot, he's still here. There he was, the pudgy little nerd seated in front of his dresser. I looked down, seeing him holding some photos in his hands. He followed my eyes, then quickly slipped them into his drawer and gave me some fake smile while his eyes tried to look anywhere but me. I snorted as I slowly closed the door behind me. This was gonna be interesting.
"Why, Numbuh 4! Good to see you," he greeted, trying to sneakily slide himself in front of his dresser. "What can I do for you? Eh, shouldn't you be getting in your seat? The show's about to start soon."
"Yeah, guess I should," I said as I approached. "But I could say the same for you, mister co-host."
"W-Well, I need to freshen up! Yeah. Need to straighten my tie and go over my lines."
"Lines eh?" I asked, raising a brow. "These lines, they wouldn't happen to belong to your sector leader, now would they?"
Sweat was rolling down his neck now, yet he was still trying to play it off. "Uh, this a joke or something? N-Numbuh Two put you up to this, right?"
"Cut the games, geek. We both know why I'm here." I used my heel to catch the loop of his chair, dragging the dork to me so I could get right into his fat little face. "Thought you were clever, eh? Gotta admit, never woulda suspected you of all people, but all makes sense now."
"I-I…" he gulped, his hands fumbling anxiously. "I really don't know what you mean, man. Can we just forget all this and go get ready for the show?"
"Yeah, you'd like that, wouldn't ya? Can't wait this show to start can ya?" I growled. "Everyone else may be in for a shock, but you got some spoilers now, don't ya? You know exactly what's gonna go down."
There was a pause, and then he tried to make a break for it. I swung my arm out, clothes-linin' the jerk before he could even reach the door. I slowly raised my foot, placing it on his chest while I crossed my arms. There wasn't any pressure, but he knew what would happen if tried that again.
"Going somewhere?"
"I-I'm late for rehearsal!"
"Enough of this crud. Where are those notes? I'm only asking once."
"Notes?" he asked. He looked really confused, and for a second, I almost bought it. "What notes?"
"Numbuh 10's notes. The ones she lost."
"She lost them? I…you gotta believe me, I really didn't know that!"
"Don't you lie to me!" Times like this make me wish I brought my SPLANKER. People's lips get real loose with that thing in their face. "You know exactly where those notes are. You and that partner of yours. Well the jig is up, so talk!"
"Really, I had no idea this was all about notes!"
"Oh yeah? Well why did you try and make a run for it? You've been sweating like Father at the beach with no sun-tan lotion since I walked into this room."
"Because…b-because…Because this entire night has been completely bonkers!" He yelled. "F-First you guys show up, I screw up my best joke, and that whole thing with Numbuh 60…"
Wait. "What do you know about what happened to Numbuh 60?"
"Ah! I-I'm talking about the fight of course! That was brutal, the whole treehouse heard it."
That had been a bit of nasty business. But upon being reminded of the fight between Ten and Sixty, another question I had popped up. "What's the deal between those two? I mean, I knew they argued every now and then, but I never thought it got that bad."
"It usually doesn't," he started talking. "They always get into petty arguments like that."
"Why?"
"I don't know the full story, but rumor is, before they joined the KND, Numbuh 10 went to show-n-tell during preschool and came dressed in her mom's reporter gown. Numbuh 60 was in her class, he made fun of her, and it's been back and forth between them ever since."
Hmm, that explains a little. "They'd get that nasty with each other about what happened in pre-school?"
"Not these days, actually. I don't think they ever really meant it. Numbuh 10 would run some ridiculous story, Numbuh 60 would come and fuss, they'd go back to the Arctic Base, settle it with a snowball fight and hot coca, and the whole thing starts over the next week," he said as he twirled his fingers in a circle. "But this time…things got way out of hand."
I considered that, but decided to deal with those thoughts later. "So what? They have history, big deal. Doesn't change the fact I know you stole her notes, and I ain't leaving til you hand them over."
He was about to respond, but paused as he frowned, apparently thinking of something. "So let me get this straight, you're here because you think I have Numbuh 10's stage notes?"
"Well don't that beat all; you can listen."
"And, if I promise to give them to you, you'll leave?"
"What am I, a parrot? Yes! Now hand 'em over already!"
"…fine. Just get off of me first."
I let the loser get up and watched as he went over to look through his stuff. I started chuckling to myself. Finally, after all night chasing stupid shadows, I was merely inches away from calling this a wrap. The clocked ticked on, and my smile was slowly dimming the longer Numbuh 11.0 was taking to make those notes appear. I swore he was stalling for time until he groaned.
"Oh you've gotta be kidding me," he said. "I think I left them outside. Can you come with me so we can look together?"
I rolled my eyes, following him to the door. "Geez, do you need help finding your jammies too?"
He didn't say anything, opening the door and gesturing to it with his hand. "After you."
"Thanks," I said as I found myself back in the hall. "Now where do we start-"
SLAM
"HEY!" I jumped and turned to find the door shut behind me. My hands snapped to the doorknob, my face bunching up with rage as it wouldn't budge. Idiot locked the door behind him. I'd been had! "LISTEN HEAR YOU POOR EXCUSE OF A WEATHER MAN! YOU OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW OR ELSE I'M GONNA-"
"Numbuh 4?"
"WHAT? Oh, it's you Numbuh 7." The blond had suddenly appeared, looking at me like I had gone mad. Which wasn't far from the truth. I was mad. VERY mad. But not in the way she was thinkin'. "Hey, you wouldn't happen to have an axe laying' around here, would ya?"
"…uh?"
Okay, in hindsight, I could see how that wasn't helping.
"Oh forget it," I huffed as I let go of the knob, giving the oak a kick for good measure. "Coward can't hide in there forever."
"Mind explain why you're threatening to tear down Numbuh 11.0's door? He is my teammate after all."
"Well, hate to break to ya, but your teammate is a no good, note stealin', double crosser." No use in breaking it to her gently. "He made off with Numbuh 10's notes so he can steal the spotlight when she messes up on air. He even went as far as to try and blackmail Numbuh 60 when he got too close!"
"That's terrible!" she gasped. "That's actually why I was trying to find you. I ran into Numbuh 60 and he told me you found him knocked out, but he wouldn't say anymore than that. What happned?"
"Uh, trust me. It's better if ya don't know the details."
"O-Oh my. How could Numbuh 11.0…I can't believe I let all this happen under my watch," she said, eyes starting to tear up. "I told Numbuh 10 I could handle things, and look what's happened! I really amnot cut out to work in this sector."
"Don't be too hard on ya'self," I tried to comfort. Figures she'd go and blame herself for what's been going on. But I wasn't about to let some innocent girl go on a guilt trip while I was on the job. "Ain't no way you coulda seen this coming. He's good; even hired someone to do all the dirty work."
"You mean a partner? Do you know who it is?"
"No. I saw the creep coming out of his room, but I lost 'em. Was probably handing off those pictures they took…of…" I trailed off. Oh crud! "That's what those pictures were! Dang it, he's still got the blackmail photos!"
"Let's try to calm down, Numbuh 4," she said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "He's cornered and has no way out. Does anyone else know about all this?"
"No, not yet."
"Then let's keep it that way for a while. Numbuh 10's worked hard on this show, and I'm not about to let that jerk ruin it for her." I really wanted this to be over and done with, but she had a point. The last guy who interrupted one of Numbuh 10's shows didn't go home a happy camper.
I snapped out of my thoughts when I noticed Numbuh Seven pushing me down the hall. "Wha?"
"Go down the hall to my office, it's the first door on the right. I have some skeleton keys in case of emergencies," she explained, "you wait there while I barricade his door so he can't get out."
Ah, good idea. I nodded, then finished the rest of the journey myself. Wasn't long until I found myself outside Numbuh Seven's door. I went in and decided to take a look around while I waited.
It wasn't as fancy as I was expecting, but I guess nothing is ever really what you think it will be. She had her own dresser in the corner, her own mini-fridge, and a desk over in the back. I found myself being drawn to the dresser, some stuff on the mirror catching my eye.
There were all sorts of pictures of Numbuh Seven in different places. One showed her covered in pillow feathers outside of Sector Q's treehouse. Another was sloppily taken of her running from old looking zombies, and I only noticed the next one because I saw myself in it. It was me and the rest of the gang, coming down the plank of Sticky-beard's Sweet Revenge. Numbuh Seven was standing next to Nigel while motioning towards the gihugic white asparagus hanging off the side of the ship.
Huh. Guess she was there for that after all.
Then I noticed something in floor. Another picture that was little more crumpled than the others. I picked it up and flipped it over, studying the two I saw in the picture. It was Numbuh Seven, though a little younger and looking ready to puke out of nervousness. But she was still smiling, mostly because Numbuh Ten was at her side, smiling with her while they held up a plague labeled 'Cadet Next Door Class of-'
"Darn. Year's smudged out," I spoke to myself. I flipped it over again, wondering how it ended up on the floor.
"Like my collection?"
I pocketed the photo like second-nature as I turned to the door. There she was, Numbuh Seven strutting in like she owned the place. Well, I guess that's okay because this is her room and all. Come to think of it, shouldn't I probably be the one a little self-conscious going through her stuff?
…Nah.
"Yeah," I answered, nodding at her mirror. "Guess you love takin' snapshots."
"Guilty as charged," she laughed. I looked at her as she strolled around the room. There was something a bit different about how she walked around. She looked a lot less restrained and more in her element.
I shrugged. Was her room, she's probably most comfortable in here. "So how'd it go with Numbuh 11.0?"
"Don't worry. He's not getting out anytime soon."
"Good. Then let's get those keys before he starts trying to claw his way out."
"Oh don't you worry, he's not going anywhere. Why don't you take a breather for a minute?" she said while she was pushing me down into one of her chairs. I tried to get up, but she just waved me off with one of those pretty smiles of hers. "Please, I insist. You've been working hard, detective. You deserve a break."
I couldn't help but smirk. If she was acknowledging me as a detective, then I had this whole thing in the bag. "Well…I guess it wouldn't hurt to kick my feet up for a bit."
"Make yourself comfortable," she said, though something was off with her voice. It sounded lower, but not like she was trying to whisper. She must be getting sick or something. Her hands went to her face, slowly taking off her glasses before laying them on her dresser. "Care for a drink? I think I still have that Grapey gush from earlier."
I shrugged, propping my feet up and staring at the ceiling. I took my hat and twirled it on my finger, giving me some time to reflect on the events of the night.
They say it's always the one you don't expect, but I never would've suspected Numbuh 11.0 to be behind it all. And how far he took it. First he steals notes, then knocks out Patton to keep his mouth shut. He's lucky Patton doesn't remember much, else he'd been out on the pavement by now.
Something wasn't exactly sitting right with me about this whole business, but I chalked it up to first time jitters. Once tonight was over, I was gonna be taken on cases all over the neighborhood. Heck, with how good I was, I was probably going to have to start thinking about how I was going to juggle being a super awesome operative and a detective at the same time.
Then again, if Hoagie can do it, why can't I? Wonder if he'd be opposed to putting another desk in the janitor's closest back at school.
So lost in my thoughts, I twirled my hat too hard and sent it across the room. Grumbling, I brought my feet down and went over to pick it up. Real smooth, Wally. Right in front of a girl too.
As I went to pick it up, there was a sparkle that caught my attention. I looked up to see that on Numbuh Seven's desk, behind her pencil cup, was a small little bottle with a squirt nozzle on the end.
"Hey," I called out as he put my hat back on. "What'cha got over there?"
"Hmm? Oh that," she said, quickly coming over to my side. She brushed past me and snatched the bottle, putting it in her drawer before giving me a weird smile. "Just some perfume my mom gave me. I tried it, but it's too strong for my liking."
"Uh huh," I said, narrowing my eyes. Something was starting to smell a little fishy around here, and it wasn't those fish tacos I had for lunch today.
Mmmm, fish tac-wha?
Gah, focus!
"What's with that look?" she said as she sauntered over me, bringing her lips into some pout. "I bet this soda will make you feel better."
I looked at the can, but suddenly I wasn't in the mood for any soda. I gently pushed it away, rejecting the gush. "Maybe next time, toots."
"Oh…" she said, looking disappointed. She shook her head, putting the can on the desk before walking across the room. "That's fine, we can just sit for a while."
I watched as she started undoing her hairpin, letting those locks of hers fall loose around her shoulders.
Must be getting hot, it is a little stuffy in here.
"Actually, think I should be getting back to work," I said, about to make for the door. "That loser won't take himself to the Arctic Prison."
"Oh come now, detective," she giggled, taking my arm and redirecting me towards the couch. "He's practically in jail now. I can assure you he's not going anywhere."
"Yeah?" I jerked my arm away, really getting ticked off with this. "Well I'd like to make sure myself, all the same."
"I appreciate an operative committed to his line of work," she said sliding right back into my view. She started stepping closer, with me backing up. Great. Back at the couch again. "But there's really no rush. Whatever it was you were looking for is waiting in his room. Unless he's figured out booger teleportation, it's not going to vanish. I just worry about you, Numbuh 4. You must have been working hard all night to track that lummox down."
"Can't argue with that, but I can't sit around until the job is done. 'Sides, I'm not even sure if he kept 'em so close to him," I started. I stood up, giving her a once over as a thought occurred to me. "You wouldn't have a clue as to where he might stash notes, now would you, Numbuh 7?"
"Please, call me Collen. No need to be formal, detective…" The blond cooed at me, obviously trying to get somethin' outta her eye, the way her eyelashes were fluttering. "Besides, I don't know nothing about any paperwork, that's not my 'jurisdiction'... but you don't need to go snooping around for something like that... Why not stick around with me and we can play 'Jacks' while they're shooting, mmm?"
She reached out her arms to try and snare me into her girly coils, but I took a step back and tipped my hat to her. "Sorry girly, but I ain't into those kiddy games. I got bigger fish ta' fry." I turned my back to her and started walking out the door, but she mumbled somethin' just loud enough to catch my ear.
"Oooo, I like a boy that can play rough."
I shivered, feeling icky all over.
Girls. Nothin' but trouble I tells ya.
That whole awkward scene over with, it was time to hurry and close this case up. Forget Numbuh Seven's keys, I'd kick the door down if I have to. Should've just done this in the first place. Being a detective is cool and all, but really, me hitting things really hard seemed to be an easy way to solve all my problems right now.
But as I headed towards 11.0's dressing room, I couldn't help but feel like I was being left out of a loop. Like someone was telling this joke I just wasn't getting. Patton being blackmailed, Numbuh 11.0 acting weird, Collen going ga-ga out of nowhere. Everything I thought I knew didn't seem so right anymore.
Could it be I'm missing something? Maybe instead of these notes, there's a much bigger case just right under my nose? Something that could make waves in the KND as we know it?
…ha! What am I thinkin'? That's what they'd want me to think! Overthink all the details and forget what's really important. Come on, Wally, you're smarter than that. All you gotta do is just get those notes off of Numbuh 11.0 and the rest is pie.
However, that pie was gonna hafta wait, for when I got back to Numbuh 11.0's room, I found that the door was left open, chairs and junk holding it shut being knocked all over. I looked inside to see it empty, and cursed to myself. That geek was stronger and craftier than I gave him credit for.
No more games, this ends now.
I darted down the hall, looking all over the place for Numbuh 11.0 He couldn't have gotten too far. I was right, for when I got back into the lobby, there he was on the other side. He turned around, saw me, and then screamed as he made a run for it. I wasn't about to let him slip away this time. Right when I thought I had him, he pushed some kid into me and we went down faster than you could say 'ouch'. 'Fore I could fully get to my feet, he jumped into the nearby elevator and started for the top floor.
Crafty lil bugger.
There was no way I was gonna catch him using the elevators, so I had to think fast. That's when I saw one of those weighted sand-bag thingys and got an idea. I zipped by, snatching a pair of scissors out of some stylist's hands and held on to the rope as I cut the cord. Didn't take long for me to snap it loose, and with nothing to hold it down, I shot straight up into the air.
I started soaring past walled in treehouse, being lifted through leaves and branches as I kept going up. Finally, the rope reached its end and I let go, flying towards the balcony. As I came down, I saw Numbuh 11.0 walking out of the elevator, thinking he had pulled one over me.
Well, wasn't he in for a surprise?
"Look out below, loser!"
"Wha the-AAAHHH!"
He softened my landing, and we both went rolling into an abandoned studio stage sector L didn't use anymore. After nearly puking with how dizzy we were getting, I ended up on top, and had the jerk where I wanted him.
"It's over, ya crook!" I hefted him up, his feet dangling over the floor. The old spotlights were still working, and they shone down on us, shadowing my face and revealing Numbuh 11.0's guilty mug for all to see. "Ya can't outrun me!"
"W-What more do you people want from me!" he started blubbering. "I-I just wanna go home!"
"Home is the last place yer gonna go if you don't start talking!" I snapped. "It's the end of the line! You're gonna tell me everything, from the beginning!"
"I-I can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"B-Because she'll hurt her!"
"Hurt WHO?"
"SKITTLES!" he cried, the dam breaking as the tears poured down his face and hiccupping like a babe fresh outta milk. "S-hic-She'll hurt my Sk-Skit-hic-tles!"
"Wha-Skittles? Who the crud is SKITTLES?"
"My ham-hic-hamster!" he finally explained. "Skittles is my hamster, I-I picked her out myself! S-She works really hard to give us power, and…and she does this cute little flip whenever I'm sad, and she's the only one that laughs at my jokes. I-I don't know if hamsters can laugh, actually, but she always snuggles my face whenever I tell her my new material! I-I can't let her hurt her!"
I lowered him to the floor, my hands going slack as I looked off to the side. None of this crud made sense anymore! First notes, then perfume, then Patton, now a flippin' hamster? I looked back at the guy, grimacing when I saw he was still crying up a storm. There was no way he was faking that.
All the facts and evidence I'd collected didn't mean squat anymore. I'm not good at math, but I know something wasn't adding up. Groaning, I let him go and started digging in my pockets until I found an old hanky I kept.
I've had enough of this detective stuff. It was time to get some answers and be done with it.
"Listen very carefully," I said as I passed him the hanky. "You're going to tell me everything you know, and I mean everything. If ya try and make a break for it again, then there ain't nothin' more I can do to help, understand?"
"I-I understand," he sniffed, finally calming down. "B-But you want let Skittles get hurt, right?"
"For the love of-YES! I promise the hamster won't get hurt, now spill!"
He nodded, wiping the tears from his face. "It all started when she came into my room. She told me what she was gonna do and I thought she was nuts. I was gonna tell Numbuh 10, but she said if I didn't help her, she'd feed Skittles to her cat!"
"Help with what?"
"With Patton," he answered. "She was gonna knock him out, put him in a tutu, and take embarrassing photos of him. Then she was gonna force me to plant the pictures in Numbuh 10's office."
"That's a load of crud. If you're gonna go through the trouble of blackmailing him, then why give the evidence to someone else?"
"To make it look like Numbuh 10 was trying to blackmail him!"
I growled, beginning to pace across the stage we found ourselves on. All this trouble to steal some notes, get the drop on Patton to cover their trial, then hand the pics over to the girl they stole from in the first place? These people were downright loony. The way he was spinning it, whomever ever this was sounded like they wanted to get Numbuh 10 in trouble or something.
But why?
"Why'd you run?" I asked facing him again. "What was the point of that?"
"I couldn't take it anymore!" he yelled. "First you show up to beat me up, then she comes back telling me there's a change of plans and takes the pictures! Well, I've had enough! I had to do something. I had to try and find Skittles and warn Numbuh 10 before it was too late!"
"Warn Numbuh 10 about what? Who is this she you're yammering on about?"
"You mean you haven't figured it out? It's…" he trailed off, squinting his eyes as he looked up to something behind me. Without warning he pushed me out of the way. "LOOK OUT!"
"HOLY-"
CRASH
"AAHH!"
The poor bloke yelped as spotlight gave him a good one to the head as it came down. The kid went down flat, the light flickerin' out behind his head. He just laid there, out cold like a nerd. That's when two things became clear to me.
One: my last lead to the notes was out. There was no way he could be up 'fore the show started.
Two: most importantly...they really need to check those light fixings, this kinda thing ain't safe.
I looked up from where the light came down, figuring I should watch my step in this death trap. But then, that's when I saw them. Not just any 'them', but the trench coat jerk that's been givin' me the run-around all night.
Back in the lobby when my soda went missing, while they snuck into 11.0's dressing room to give 'im those pictures, and when they just tried to do me in with the spotlight.
We locked gazes, and they froze. Only then did the whole thing make sense now.
It obvious what they done.
It was clear WHO they were.
"You're the one who stole my soda!" It was clear to me now! I KNEW my grapey gush didn't just disappear. They musta got so nerved wracked, that they thought I would figure it out, which I DID. So they tried to turn my lights out and make me forget, but it hit Numbuh 11.0 instead.
I yelped as I side-stepped, nearly dodging the gumball pellets raining down at me. I rolled and took cover behind a pile of old cameras, pulling my hat over my head as they tried to shoot me. Looking down, I saw an empty reel case, and figured it'd have to do.
Grabbing it, I waited until they needed to reload, and then sprung out and flung the case like a Frisbee. I grinned when it hit 'em with a clang, and they yelped in pain. They looked down one last time before running away across the platform.
Well see, it wasn't about to end like that. I ran over, picking up the GUMZOOKA they dropped and headed towards the end of the stage. Legs tensing, I leapt for the nearest curtain and made my way up. Those notes could wait for a bit.
This just got personal.
I hiked my leg over the rafter and ran across the railing. Wasn't long before I caught up to them, and they were pulling all sorts of tricks and knocking all kinds of crud in my way to slow me down. That wasn't gonna work a second time, as I hopped, rolled, and slid past everything they threw at me.
They stopped to push over some large set piece. It came tumbling down, and I thought fast and grabbed a nearby curtain and held on to it as I pulled up and started running across the wall. It was like I was some ninja, it was awesome! I ran across the wall like in the movies and shot at them with the blaster. They didn't have a clue what was going on, and took a few hits because of it.
I leapt down, chasing them outside into the rain. A storm had rolled in, but nothing was gonna stop me now. Our little jog had taken us to the highest point of sector L's treehouse and I could hear 'em cursing as they peered over the railing.
Check and mate, mate.
"Look who just ran outta luck," I chuckled, stepping forward with my blaster ready. They turned, face still hidden, but I knew they were sending me death glares. Let 'em state all they wanted. "The game's over."
"Ha," they laughed, making their voice all deep and scratchy so I couldn't pinpoint their identity. "What do you know? It took you all night to get here, and you're no closer to solving this than when you started."
"That's where you're wrong!" Their mind tricks wouldn't do 'em any good. "I've got this case figured out like the back of my hand."
"Puh-lease," they scoffed. "All I have to do is get rid of you, then I can finally deal with Numbuh 10."
"Numbuh 10 this, Numbuh 10 that," I mocked in a whiny voice, because it's exactly what they sounded like. "Geez, it's like you're obsessed with her."
"SHUT UP!" they snapped, their act slipping. Whoever it was, it was definitely a girl. "You have no idea what it's like! What I have to put up every waking moment of my life! Well, after tonight, she'll finally get hers and I'll get what I deserve!"
"What you deserve," I said with a roll of my eyes. "The way you talk, someone might think you're jealous of her."
"I'm not JEALOUS!"
"It's written all over that, face of yours. Uh, well, I can't see it, but I know it's there." I lowered my blaster slightly, something not clicking. "What I don't understand is what some stranger would be jealous of. It's not like you…work with…"
I almost have it, I know it! She's jealous, but why?
Why would she be jealous of Numbuh Ten?
Who could possibly have the most to get by going through all this trouble to trash her rep?
It just didn't...
Wait.
What you need to do is go after someone on Numbuh 10's bad side…
I loaned it. I couldn't help it man, the way she was looking at me, and all those sweet things she said…
I love Grapey Gush too. I was going to save the leftovers for later…
Good stuff, that gush. Slides down your throat with the right amount of tang. How'd you figure that out?
To make it look like Numbuh 10 was blackmailing him!
Tried of playing second fiddle to Numbuh 10...
She was smiling, mostly because Numbuh 10 was standing next to her…
She takes up all the spotlight so I don't have to worry about it. Why, she's the reason I'm who I am today.
My eyes widened. I can't believe this. It was right in front of me the entire time.
"You think you can solve this? You don't even know who you're after."
I glared, face hard as I whipped up my blaster. "I know exactly who I'm after…Collen."
The wind blew something fierce, me barely grabbing onto my hat in time. My accomplice wasn't so lucky, having lost her grip on the trench coat and it blowing away into the night.
Numbuh Seven shook her head, leveling me up from a distance before smirking.
"My my, my. Looks like nothing gets past you, de-tec-tive."
-/-/-/-/-/-
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