A/N:

okay so

for those who didnt read the A/N i posted up yesterday and are just reading this.

I SWITCHED THE 2ND AND 3RD CHAPTER.

so if this chapter seems oddly familiar to you

you now know why,

so go back a chapter.

and read that one

(:

anywaaay R&R

~~CHARACTERS BELONNG TO THE ONE AND ONLY RICHELLE MEAD :D ~~

3 weeks later

I was running late for class, which would be a usual occurrence. But in light of what happened these past few months, you can say that I have... changed. Not drastically, I mean I'm still the Rose Hathaway you all know me to be (sexy, badass and all that) but my attitude in a way of putting it, has changed. I don't exactly talk or make jokes. I'm on time for classes now a days; I need something to keep me busy. And yes, I actually pay attention in class. Well, kind of anyway.

I keep to myself, but then again, I don't really have anyone to talk to in the first place. I don't really have many friends, or any for that matter. My friendships have most definitely not been the same after my fight with me and Lissa. I don't talk with Eddie except for in class, but considering the change in my attitude, it really isn't the same. Adrian, well I don't see him either anymore, but I make it a task of mine to avoid him. Aside from his smoking habits, for some reason, Lissa is always or most of the time, near him. But I'm not taking any chances.

I walk into class just as Stan starts the lesson.

"Ah, Hathaway, nice of you to finally join us." He nods at me; he hasn't been as harsh ever since that whole fiasco with Lissa. Either he's actually being sympathetic in his crazy on fucked up way, or he just tolerates me now that I actually don't make rude remarks in his class, and actually pays attention. I go with the latter.

I take my seat at the back of my class, where I always sit. I listen to him groan on and on in his class for the next hour till I get to go to my next class. And that continues for the rest of the school day; me getting through classes to the best of my ability without dying from boredom.

As the school day ends, dinner starts at the academy, so like any other person, I go to dinner hall, and go get my food. Usually, I just taking my dinner and sitting in the lounge or my bedroom to eat in peace. For some idiotic reason, I decide to sit in the hall today. Alone. Looking as miserable as I have been for the past months.

I don't know whether if it was sheer laziness or what that made me sit in the hall for dinner. Whatever it was that made me come to this decision, it was the worst decision ever.

Sitting about two tables away from me is Lissa and Christian. Sitting together in some loving bubble that seems like no one can pop. But that's nothing new. They always have been like that.

It hurts seeing them so happy, to know that they are able to carry on with their lives as if never happened. As if they have no burden to carry, and they can live their happily ever after.

Then again, I never expected a happily ever after in my life, not with the shit I have gone through. So of course with my luck, some else appears beside them and takes a seat with them for dinner. Two somebody's actually. It was of course, Dimitri and Tasha, of all people.

It hurt even more seeing my soul mate or so I thought he was, out and happy with another girl. Tasha of all people. I won't deny that I still love Dimitri, I do, and nothing could stop that. But I also hate him with a passion.

I want to leave. I want to just run away. To run away, as far as I can, from the recent past. All these thoughts from before, about how happy my life was compared to now, and how happy their lives seem, were just smothering me in my face. I couldn't take it. I felt like I was being closed in on, like I was standing inside a room, and the walls were closing in on me, slowly leaving me claustrophobic and out of air.

And that was that, I got up from my seat as fast as I could, not even caring about my dinner. Not caring about the fact that I had to walk past them to get to the door. I just needed to leave.

And so I left, I felt 4 pairs of eyes, staring down my back before I make it to the door.

And once I was out, I ran. I ran out of the building and into the forests. I ran as far as my legs and mind was taking me. I ran around trees, around bushes, jumped over roots that were sticking up from the ground, and rocks that could trip me. I ran and found myself standing outside the cabin door.

I laughed in spite of myself. I would run to where a lot of this mess I am in now started. This was the cabin where Dimitri and I had sex for the first time. I had taken the darkness from Lissa in some fight that she was in, and all her anger coursed into me. It was what got me worried about Lissa and her magic in the first place; what started the fight. Dimitri took me 'hostage'. He took me into this cabin to make me calm down, to get the darkness out of my system. One thing led to another and the next thing I knew, I had lost my virginity to the man I love.

And now, everything in my life is in shatters.

I open the door to find everything as it was when we were here. But then again, no one ever comes here.

I close the door, and slide down against it, so I was sitting on the floor and leaning back against the door. Just thinking of how much my life was in a wreck right now. Before I could even stop them, all the memories of my past rushed by me before my eyes. Tears falling as I watched every single memory like a movie playing behind my eyelids.

I saw me and Lissa when we first met at the Academy, when I threw a book at that teacher.

I saw me and Lissa growing up and having fun like little kids.

I saw me and Lissa running away.

I saw Lissa drinking from my neck from when we were on our 'expenditure.'

I saw Dimitri when he caught us that night, taking us back to the academy.

I saw me and Dimitri in our combat lessons.

I saw when I broke my ankle through that bench that day we came back from shopping.

I saw when Dimitri gave me a present; my favourite lip gloss because of that accident, and because it would make me happy.

I saw when me and Dimitri were under that Lust Charm.

I saw when Dimitri came to save my life from Natalie, and from the strigoi in Spokane.

I saw when Dimitri told me he declined Tasha's offer because he loved me.

And then I saw my reality.

I saw how:

I have no one to live for.

I have nothing to make me happy.

I have no one to make me happy.

I have no friends, and practically no family.

I have no one to comfort me and tell me it was alright.

I have nothing, absolutely nothing.

I was lonely.

I was broken.

A/N ... again. LOL.

SO SORRYY I HAVENT UPDATEED IN A LONNG TIMEEEEEEE.

I haven't had the chance to with my homework, plus, I haven't really had the inspiration to write.

Which is why I rarely ever finish fics.

but I'm actually going to try to finish this one.

So.

It may be fast paced plot wise, but slow place when it comes to updates.

... so beware.?

:P