********************************B5***************************
Delenn walked into the house, and was assailed by the wonderful odor of baking bread. She inhaled deeply detecting the faint whiff of garlic as she did so. John had obviously, by the smell, made spaghetti. She was surprised, however when she walked in to find Jade helping his father set the table and clean up the mess in the kitchen. She stood and watched as two of her three men busily worked on getting dinner on the table. She noticed John had put their younger son to work setting out the silverware and drinks. She watched nervously as he carried in a large pitcher of juice, concentrating mightily on not spilling a drop.
The two of them looked so busy that she didn't think they had even noticed her, until Jade looked up from placing a bread basket in the center of the table and winked at her. She walked into the room and smiled at him. He smiled back and held a finger to his mouth. He then indicated his father with a nod of his head.
'Sneak up on him, Mommy.' She heard in her mind.
'You look almost finished here, go and find David, little one.' She thought back at him.
He flashed a toothy smile and said, "Dad, I'm gonna go wash up and tell David that dinner is almost ready."
John didn't even turn from his task. "Okay, tell him to show up in about ten or fifteen minutes. If Mom's not back by then you guys can eat, and I'll wait for her."
" 'Kay." He scampered off.
She flashed a wry grin at the retreating boy and walked up behind John, who was in the kitchen cleaning a sauce spill from the counter.
********************************B5***************************
John heard his little boy hasten from the room, and no sooner had the footsteps disappeared up the stairs, than he felt his wife's firm arms slither around his waist, and her petite form rest against his back. He cleaned his hands on the towel in front of him as she kissed the back of his neck. He then turned in her arms and pulled her more tightly against himself. "Have a good day?"
"Most of it yes. The rest we will have to wait and see."
He sighed. "I take it the rangers are ready."
"Yes, I sanctioned the order this afternoon. That is why I am late. I decided to go for a walk and. . . contemplate things."
"We can't worry about it right now, love. There is nothing we can do until the Drakh are off of Centauri Prime." She tightened her grip upon his waist, and in response he let his hands travel up her back to her magnificent, only slightly graying, hair. He massaged her scalp, and in so doing relieved a headache she hadn't even noticed yet. She sighed in rapture.
"That feels delightful, John. What would I do without you?"
He smiled at her, though her eyes were closed in wonder, and she didn't see. Her lips were pressed lightly together forming a satisfied smile as she savored the massage. John smiled again, this time more tenderly, and let his head bend to rest his lips upon hers. She had long ago learned that he might and did kiss her when she least expected, and so she responded to him instantly not in the least surprised. She returned his kiss, and he read in her manner the misgivings she had at giving an order that was going to cost lives. Even after all these years and all the battles and all the other orders just like this one, it still distressed her greatly. That made him love her all the more and he showed her as their kiss deepened.
The moments stretched into forever, and abruptly John remembered that Jade and David were due back into the kitchen any minute. He reluctantly ended their moment together. "As much as I would like for this to continue to its end, love, our sons should be arriving for dinner soon. And it would be unsuitable for them to find the two of us in a compromising position." Delenn giggled into his chest as he finished. "What?"
"I was thinking that, if they did find us in a 'compromising position,' we would never have peace again. Just think of all the delightfully embarrassing questions that Jade would have for us." Seeing her point, John burst into laughter, and she joined him. Once they had composed themselves John walked them over to the window to watch the sun go down behind the crystalline buildings of Tuzanor.
"How was Jade when you got home?"
He chuckled, "Interesting story, I got home and Tannier said that David had taken Jade outside because he was sulking. I went to look for the two of them. I got there just in time to see our small son fall head over feet into the deepest pool in the stream in the front garden."
"I assume he was all right."
"Yeah, he was cold and wet, but other than that fine. Scared me half to death though. I was so shaken up I carried him inside and changed his clothes for him."
"He did not protest." She looked vaguely astonished.
"No, I think he understood that I needed to do that to reassure myself that he was okay."
"I'm glad that David took him out to get his mind off his disappointment." She turned and hugged him, and they stood that way for a while without another word just enjoying one another and the silence. Their quiet moment alone was interrupted by their sons coming down stairs for dinner.
"Will you teach me to play that game?"
"I don't know. It may be too hard for a small time player like you."
"Hey I play video games all the time."
"Yeah, but this is a holo-game. Its like you're in the game. You are the hero. Do you think you can handle that."
"Ye-" he started to answer.
"Forget it, Pal, if you two are talking about the game I think you are talking about, you have to be much older, and a lot less jumpy before I permit you to play that one."
"Its the game you're thinking of." Jade sent David a foul look that he'd seen Susan use on an annoying person that was trying to get her attention, complete with a raised eyebrow.
Delenn saw the look and intervened, "Why do we not sit down and eat, you two. The food is getting cold." Both David and Jade shrugged and sat at the table. John joined them, as did Delenn.
The four of them ate dinner less than silently. Jade described his fall into the stream, complete with visual aid using the food on his plate, specifically the spaghetti sauce, and the fork in his hand. David spoke of his day leaving out the conversation that he and Jade had shared. John was content to listen to the stories and sat back to savor them when he had finished eating.
********************************B5***************************
John and David stayed in the kitchen to wash dishes and clean the table. While they did this Delenn went to bathe and change into her more comfortable dress. She suggested that Jade take a bath also, and shooed him on his way. Jade went to his room and gathered his pajamas into his arms. He then headed to the small bathroom across the hall from John and Delenn's bedroom. The small bathroom he shared with David.
Delenn, meanwhile entered her and John's room gathered her own after-bath garments and entered the bathroom joined to the bedroom by an old fashioned hinged door. All the inner doors were of the hinged design. The only modern computerized doors were the ones leading outdoors. Delenn got herself undressed and into the bath. Jade did the same in his bathroom.
********************************B5***************************
John and David finished the kitchen and table promptly and headed upstairs. John turned to David and said, "David, I have a small job for you if you're willing to accept."
"You want me to keep Jade occupied so that you can help Mom in the shower."
"Son, are you sure that Jade is the only telepath in this family."
"Yeah, Dad. Its just that you two have done this since I was little. Probably since before I was born. Since Jade got here you've been showering separately. I knew it wouldn't last."
"You can say that again. We won't take long. Just keep him from interrupting."
"What is my payment?"
"The joy of knowing you are keeping your parents happy. So you know there is no chance of being grounded for reasons less than worthy, brought on by the crankiness of your father."
"That's what I figured. Get outta here before the little rat is finished drowning himself."
"Cute description. Thank you."
"No problem, just go."
John virtually disappeared, and David smiled lopsidedly while shaking his head in amusement. 'Sometimes, Dad, you are completely transparent.' He thought as he settled in front of the monitor waiting for Jade's eventual reappearance.
********************************B5***************************
Delenn lounged, eyes closed and breathing deliberately deep and even, in the tub letting the water temperature erase the strains of the order given only a couple hours earlier. She was so engrossed in relaxing and calming her mind that she didn't notice John's presence for several minutes. Once she did, she barely let on that she knew, smiling only slightly and offering a soft, "Hello, I was wondering when you would rejoin me in our nightly ritual."
"I have missed this, but I figured with Jade, well, I figured it wasn't such a good idea until we had a distraction for him."
"Good thinking. It would not do to have him walk in on our time as David did so long ago." Her speech was slow and her voice like velvet. She sat up to allow John room to sit. He slid in behind her and began massaging her shoulders and back.
********************************B5***************************
David sat and waited for about twenty minutes for Jade to reappear from his splash fest in the bathroom. He walked into the room hair dripping and half-dressed. "Where is Mom?"
"She's still in the bath."
"Oh, and Dad?"
David sighed. He'd have to explain it or Jade would find out the same way he had, by walking in on them relaxing together. He was quiet for a moment to gather his thoughts, so he would explain it right. "You know how Mom has rituals to calm herself right?"
"Yeah."
"Well if you didn't notice she was kind of stressed out at dinner."
"Of course, I noticed. I'm telepathic. Her emotions were plain to see, and feel."
"Okay, well I don't know for sure what made her so agitated, but she needed to utilize one of her rituals to calm herself again. Dad is part of this particular ritual."
"What are you talking about, David?" Jade was thoroughly confused.
"Dad joined her in the shower, or maybe bath. He is helping her to relax."
"Oh, do you think we should do something to help?"
"Not with this. They just need some time to themselves."
"Duh, I'm a kid not stupid. I meant that after they finish, whatever they do in there, should we have something done or cleaned or something like that."
David laughed, he should have known. Jade was more knowledgeable than he appeared on most subjects, why not this one. "Nah, we just need to stay out of their hair for a little while."
"Okay."
"Go get your towel, you little rat. I'll help you dry your hair."
"I don't need any help."
"You are dripping all over the floor. You need help."
"Okay." Jade scurried off and retrieved his towel. He reentered the room drying his hair. "Now what do we do."
David looked up from the show he was watching. "We finish getting you dry and dressed, and then we can hang out or do our respective homework assignments."
"Okay, but I get Dad's desk."
"Fine with me." David shook his head once again. Jade always did his homework sitting at John's desk. He wasn't about to argue with the kid now. Little did he know, Jade had already finished his homework. It was the same every night, which was why Jade used John's desk. He played video games while David finished his work.
********************************B5***************************
After donning a pair of shorts, John helped Delenn out of the tub, and helped her into her robe. He then took a towel and began to dry and brush the tangles out of her hair. She stood perfectly still as his strong hands worked their magic upon her scalp. Once satisfied that her hair was no longer going to drip down her back, John began the massage all over again. He worked her whole body until she was in a state of passivity, lying on their bed. He finished his work with a kiss to the base of her skull, and he was rewarded with a shiver of her body. He smiled.
"Love, we better wrap this up. Jade is going to wonder where we went. I wouldn't be surprised if he sent out a search party."
She chuckled with a note of contentment in her musical laugh. "I suppose you are right, but this feels so good. I will 'owe you one' as you say."
"I'll collect on that after Jade has gone to Susan's and we don't have to worry about interruptions."
She rolled over and sat up. He moved closer and kissed her softly. "I'll be in the den with our boys."
"I'll join you in a minute." She smiled as John stood and turned to exit. "John," he turned back, "it is a pleasant thing to hear 'our boys' is it not?"
"It is." She let a small smile creep onto her face, and it was returned. "See you in a bit."
John donned his robe and exited then, and Delenn proceeded to get dressed.
********************************B5***************************
David was sitting on the couch surrounded by his books and homework when John walked into the room. He looked up from the figures on his paper. "Hey, everything cool now?"
"Yeah, Mom is feeling a lot better."
"Good."
John looked around, zeroing in on Jade at his desk. "And just what are you up to, young man?"
"Playin' a game."
"Hey," David interjected, "I thought we were doing our homework."
"I did my work this morning after my lessons and before lunch with Mom."
"Sneak." David gave him a wry look and turned back to his work.
"What game are you playing?"
"That really old one you showed me, Pong. Its the easiest one so I like it."
"Makes sense. Can I get in on the action?"
"Sure let me restart it in two player mode."
Jade stood up so that John could sit. John did and settled Jade on his lap. Then they played the game. Finally, John got tired of winning at pong and suggested a game change. Jade agreed, tired of losing, and they started a different game. They played games until Delenn rejoined them twenty minutes later.
********************************B5***************************
She walked in the room softly, with her usual grace. John and Jade sat playing a game on John's computer monitor. David was doing his homework. She watched her family, burning the image of them into her memory. With the up coming struggle it was no telling when they would have peace again. She only hoped that the cleansing of Centauri Prime didn't drag on for the last years John had in this life. She quickly escaped from that train of thought. If she dwelled on it she would need another massage to calm her again. She noticed a scowl on David's face and walked over and sat with him.
"What are you working on?"
"Spatial dimensions, I'm on the last problem and I completely abandoned my thought processes. I am so blocked, I've been working on this problem for the last ten minutes. I'm thinking about giving up and asking Instructor Vorren for help with it in the morning before class."
"I have a better idea. Let me see the problem. I will help you."
"Thanks, Mom." He scooted to one side and rearranged his books to make room for her. She sat and they looked over the problem together.
John looked up from the game and watched the exchange between them. He gave a contented sigh and turned his attention back to the game at a jab from Jade.
"Okay, okay, sorry. Got distracted." He played his turn, and let Jade take it over again. Jade was pretty good at the games John had set up for him. John was impressed at the skill Jade showed playing pinball. He had actually made the higher scores on all three games they had played.
"Ohhh, nuts! I missed it. Your turn." When John didn't respond, Jade looked up at him, "Dad?" He noticed a far off look in his father's eyes. "Daddy. Hey! Its your turn."
"Huh, oh yeah, sorry your turns last so long that I have to do something to keep me awake."
"You looked like you were dreaming to me, Dad."
"I was, sort of. I was just thinking of all the stuff I have to do tomorrow."
"Oh, if you want to, we can stop. I can find something else to do if you need to work or something."
John smiled and squeezed him gently, "Thank you for the thought, but I don't need to do anything now that can't wait until tomorrow."
Jade hugged back and smiled. "Okay, but you are getting board with this game. Aren't you?"
"Maybe a little."
"Then lets do somethin' else."
John checked his watch and noticed it was heading toward twenty thirty hours. "Tell you what. why don't you go grab a book and we'll sit out here and read a little."
"Okay, dad." Jade slipped off John's lap and headed to his room. He grabbed a book off the shelf and returned. John had moved to sit in one of the arm chairs facing the couch. Jade carried the book to him and crawled into his lap.
"What have we got here?"
"It's the one we started last week. The Jungle Book you said we were gonna read it together."
"That I did, son, and so we shall. Lets get started."
Delenn looked up from helping David, "Don't you dare go to sleep, young man, we have a date with the Chronicles remember."
" 'Course I do Mom. We'll read those at bedtime."
"All right then, I will hold you to that promise." He smiled and turned back to John to listen to him read.
John had read about a chapter and a half when the wallcom went off. He looked up at Delenn, "Do you want me to answer?"
"No I'll get it. You keep reading, David and I finished and were listening to you."
"Okay." He continued reading as she stood and went over to her desk. She answered the call on her computer receiver.
"Yes, hello."
A Minbari male's face filled the screen. "Ah, Delenn it has been many years since we spoke last."
"Yes, Lenann, I believe the last time we spoke was just after the Drakh Plague was cured."
"Indeed it has been far too long, Seven years I believe."
"Yes, seven years." She couldn't help but think, 'Jade would not have even been born yet.' "Is there anything in particular you called about, Captain, or are you wasting your evening when you should be spending it with family?" She said with amusement in her tone.
"Actually, I am not at home. I am here in the capitol. I thought I might stop by tomorrow, and find out if the rumors I have heard are true."
"And what rumors are you foolishly listening to now?" Still the jesting manner, indicating the ease with which one speaks to an old friend.
"The ones that say you have another child in your family."
"I can put your mind at ease right now. The rumor is true. John and I have adopted a young human child."
"I see. Then I would like to stop by and congratulate you and meet the little one."
"I suppose you may. Just do not bring an entourage with you, Jade does not like crowds."
"I understand. I have wondered..." He trailed off, "Well never mind. I will find out tomorrow. When would be an appropriate time?"
"Some time around or a little after noon. Jade and I have lunch together on most days. Tomorrow will be no exception."
"Sounds good, my friend. I will see you at twelve hundred hours tomorrow."
"I look forward to it." He bowed with the gesture of respect, as did Delenn. She then cut the transmission.
Delenn went back to the couch and listened to John read. David scooted closer to her and leaned his head upon her shoulder. She grinned softly and put her arms around her elder son. He kissed her cheek and took a deep breath, turning again to listen to his father's gruff voice read softly the ancient words of Rudyard Kipling.
John read for an hour when he noticed Jade was leaning more heavily upon him, denoting the relaxation of his small body. He realized that Jade was almost asleep. He finished the page he was on and closed the book. "I think that's enough for tonight, kiddo. It's bedtime."
"Okay Dad." His soft pitched voice was half asleep.
David stood and stretched. "I better get to bed too. I have a test in Physics tomorrow."
"Sleep good, David."
"I will, 'night guys."
"Goodnight." David exited towards his room. John looked down at the boy in his lap. Jade wasn't looking at anything in particular. He looked to be fighting off sleep.
"Come on, lets get you to bed."
Delenn walked over to them. "I will take him to bed. You turn off the lights and make sure everything is shut down properly." She indicated the computer on his desk.
"Right, I'll be there in a minute to tuck him in." He said as he lay Jade in her arms.
She smiled and headed out of the room.
********************************B5***************************
Delenn entered Jade's small room and crossed to his bed. She sat down on the edge of it and shifted him to a one-armed grip. With her free hand she turned down the covers, and then helped him to lie down and pulled them up to his chin.
"Mom," came the sluggish voice, "are you still gonna read to me?"
"Of course, I just need to go and get the book." She walked out, and back into the den. Turning left when she entered she moved to the bookshelf that stood midway between her desk and the doorway. John, she took note of, was sitting at his desk engrossed in whatever document he was looking at. She shook her head, 'he never gives up.' She then went back to Jade's room.
He was more than half asleep now, but she had told him she would read to him. So, she settled onto the bed with him and tucked one arm around him as he snuggled closer. She managed to hold the book with both hands and began to read, in Adronatto the language of the Religious Caste, one of the more action filled stories in the dulcet voice she so often used with her children.
********************************B5***************************
John sat and went over the notes he'd made at the morning council session. He wanted to be sure of all that had been important. Tomorrow morning didn't look like too hard a morning, but with the job he held one never knew. He believed in being prepared. Besides he figured he'd give Delenn a little time to read to Jade. He doubted that the turkey would fall asleep as easily as it appeared he was. After he finished going through the notes he shut down his computer and turned out the lights. He made his way down the hall to Jade's room.
As he came abreast of the door he heard soft music coming from David's room. He strolled over and listened more intently. When he figured out what song was playing he almost cried; it had been so long since he'd heard it. He thought of the first time he'd heard it. He and Anna had just been married and it was the first song they danced to as husband and wife. The last time had been at Anna's official funeral. He'd helped Lizie pick it out. It was one of the only things about the funeral that he had not turned over to her. He'd refused to pick the pastor, and the casket, since he thought of it as a waste, there being no body to put in it. The music however he had insisted upon. It had surprised Lizie that he was so adamant when he'd barley lifted a finger to help with the rest. He remembered walking into the house where Lizzie was going through Anna's things. He handed her the data crystal with the songs he wanted played and walked out.
Thinking of this brought about less pleasant memories of Anna, and those in turn brought on the visions of his time between tick and tock. He reached out and pressed his hands on the wall, lest he fall. He then closed his eyes tightly and when he opened them again the flash of memories was gone. He decided to pass Jade's room by for a moment and moved to the bathroom next door to David. He splashed cool water on his face and dried it with the hand towel. He looked in the mirror and made sure he didn't look too shaken up. Once satisfied he went back down the hall to Jade's room.
When he opened the door Delenn looked up from reading. Jade, John saw, was almost asleep. He walked over and noticed Delenn's concerned look. 'I should have known better than to try and fool her. She knows me too well after all this time.'
He smiled at her and kissed her forehead. She pulled away from him and it looked like she was going to ask about his demeanor, but he put a finger to her lips to silence her. He then bent down and kissed the top of Jade's head, and breathed deeply the clean child smell about him, which helped to erase some of the sorrow left by the memories. He slid his index finger down Jade's nose and said, "Sleep well, little one. Don't dream, okay."
"Okay Da-," Jade tried to smother a yawn, "-ad. You sleep good too okay." His soft voice became softer with each word.
"That I will." He kissed the boy's head once more. "See you in the morning." All Jade did was clumsily nod his head.
Delenn was still watching him. He mouthed the word later at her, and she nodded in understanding. He turned to leave and she began reading again. He entered their room and sat on the floor near the bed. He had long ago mastered the techniques and slipped easily into the soothing state of meditation he assumed every night before bed.
********************************B5***************************
Delenn read until Jade's breathing was deep and even. Once she was satisfied he wouldn't wake when she moved off the bed; she stood slowly laying Jade softly back onto his pillow. She then flipped on the intercom beside the bed. She retrieved her book from where she'd set it on the nightstand, and left the room turning off the bedside light as she did. She wondered what had happened to affect John so deeply. She hoped that he would talk to her after her meditation and changing for bed. When she entered the room John was deep in meditation and she hoped that he found what he sought tonight. She had no doubts that he was meditating upon whatever had caused his earlier discomfort.
She changed into her silken gown and robe then lit a candle and began to cleanse her mind of the jumble it had achieved with her work and worry. She heard John take a deep breath signaling the end of his meditation, and the distinctive sounds as he stood after a few moments. He then sidled past her, his shorts and t-shirt in hand, to the bathroom to ready himself for bed. Delenn cut short her meditation, and climbed into the bed. Worry for her husband leaving her unable to calm herself enough to fully slip into a meditative trance.
John returned and climbed in beside her. She scooted herself closer and took his hand in hers. "What is bothering you, my love?"
"Old memories, sad memories. It's nothing really."
"Tell me about them."
"Delenn..."
"Tell me, John, please."
He sighed heavily and gave in. "Earlier when I was on the way to Jade's room I heard music coming from David's. The song that was playing is a rather old one. Ancient really. It was from the late twentieth century on Earth by a man named Edwin McCain. It also happened to be one of Anna's favorites the name of it was "I'll Be." It was the first song she and I danced to after we were married, and the last I had played at her funeral. The funeral before she came back as a shadow of her former self." He let it pour out as quickly as possible. He knew if he stopped that he wouldn't be able to talk of it. "It's funny, now that I think about it, that song is better suited for you and me. I'll have to play it for you sometime."
"John," Her voice was full of concern and compassion for him, as she ran her hands through the short hair on the back of his head.
"I remembered the day I gave the song to Liz. She was in our house, Anna's and mine, she was going through some of Anna's things deciding what she wanted to keep and what I should. I remember that I couldn't bring myself to look through it all. I couldn't help with the arrangements, but I remembered that she loved this song and I wanted it played for her one last time. So, I faced my fears and entered the house. I hadn't been in there since I had gotten word of her death. I didn't want the reminder that she wasn't there anymore. Going in there, well I thought at the time that it would damn near kill me. To see her things for the first time since her death and know that she would never enjoy them again. Never take a precious amount of time, that I never understood, to dust them. It was almost too much. I ended up handing the data crystal to Liz and fleeing before the tears and the grief overwhelmed me." He paused and took a deep breath.
Delenn could feel the tremendous strength it was taking for him to speak of this time in his life. He had never told her of the time after Anna disappeared, presumed dead, and before she met him. She knew he had thrown himself into his work and all of the official things that had been said, but she didn't know what he, himself felt or thought about. She took his face between her hands and kissed the tears away. He slid his arms around her and rested his head between her breasts, as he always did when seeking comfort. She'd learned in a 'girl talk' session with Liz that he'd done that since he was a small child. If he'd needed comfort he would rest his head between their mother's breasts.
"After that memory, I had a few other flashes. Other times I had heard the song. Even the last time I saw her on Z'ha'dum. There were a few other memories that I just can't talk about. I wondered then how will it be after I go. There is so little time left for us. I wondered why I feel obligated to spend the rest of my life working with other governments instead of spending every moment, waking and sleeping, with my wife and sons. Delenn," She could hear his voice change again to speaking with tremendous effort. "I find that I am tired of trying to maintain the peace of the galaxy. I don't know what to do about it though. Not yet. I want to see the cleansing of Centauri Prime to it's end. Knowing that I was, in part at least, responsible for the Drakh's presence there. I have to see it through to the end, but after its over...I want to spend more days with Jade, like the days that I promised him for this week. I owe him that. I owe him memories like I am leaving with you and with David. How could I have adopted him when I knew I had so short a time left?"
"I thought that you were happy that you have the time with him that you do."
"I know I said that, but well, for me I am happy, but Jade, he deserves more somehow. It's not fair to him that I am going to be gone so soon after he got here. David will have had nineteen years with me as his father, but Jade... I only have three years with Jade. I want his memories of me to be fulfilling enough to last him the rest of his life. I want memories of him and you and David to sustain me until the next life when we are all together again." John, by this time, was sobbing into her chest. Delenn's arms were wrapped around him, and she held him as unshakably as she could manage whilst she herself sobbed with and for him. "I...you know I thought I had accepted this fate. Maybe I had, until Jade became ours. I hate myself for leaving him, and I hate the universe and it's cruel tricks, and I hate Lorien for not being able to give me a full lifespan. If I had just a few more years, Delenn, it would be okay. Even if it were only two extra years. At least it would give Jade five years. A lot happens in five years, I wish I had them to help him go through all that he will...I..." He was overwhelmed and could not speak another word.
Delenn found herself pulling him even more tightly to herself. She didn't know what to say to help him in his fears, and that single fact scared her more than she thought anything could. She had thought that the knowledge of when she'd lose him was scary, but she'd prepared herself as much as she could until the moment he left her. She could not prepare herself for the grief that she'd feel after he was gone. That scared her, but this being unable to comfort him, not having the words to comfort him. That was the most terrible thing she had, and would ever have to face. "I have no words John. Not for this. These things you speak of hurt me as much as you. I wish you had more time with him, with all of us, but you do not. There is nothing we can do to change that. And I have no way to comfort you other than to hold you, and to grieve with you."
"No, there is nothing to say to it. It must be, but just having you here to hold on to is comforting enough for me. I need that, right now more than ever. I just...I'm sorry Delenn. I should have listened to you, to your warning from the future. I should not have gone to Z'ha'dum."
"DO NOT be sorry. John, it is not your fault. You thought you were doing what was right. I forced you into that fate. I did not allow you to choose your own actions. By not letting you make your own decisions I forced the actions to choose you."
"No, Delenn, I could have chosen to stay and not gone. I didn't listen. I did things the way I thought they should be done. I've always had a stubborn streak as big as the Grand Canyon, but I guess you know that better than anyone. I have never and will never blame you, and I won't allow you to blame yourself either." He lifted his head from her chest and pulled her into his embrace. She then wrapped her arms around his waist and let go of the last of her guilt for his journey to Z'ha'dum. John held her while she let it out the only way she knew how, she wept. He cried with her as she had with him, and when she was finished he kissed away the tears left on her cheeks, also as she had done for him. This action led to other activities that were, between a man and his wife, more healing than tears.
For a wonder, Jade slept peacefully that night. Before dozing off, Delenn had heard his whimpers, but to her relief they subsided, and she heard his calm, deep breathing once again.