THE ENTIRE WORLD NOW FACES OUR WRATH MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHH...

Yeah, my writing sucks, yeah, the plot (what plot?) is crap, yeah, I curse an awful lot, yeah, I overuse parentheses for humor (what humor?), yeah, I fail at languages, yeah, OOC-ness is everywhere, yeah, there is implied or explicitly stated gayness (for chrissakes, if you're reading ungenderbent Hetalia fanfiction, when isn't there?), yeah, this is humor please don't flame me, yeah, crack is crack and it's not serious in the slightest, uh...I think I got all the warnings in...though why I didn't do this in the first chapter I dunno...

Now not only implied Gerita but implied RusAme! (My OTP infects everything. Don't argue with me on the veracity of their relationship if you want to live.)

For those of you who don't know, I have another account full of RusAme and other yaoi goodness...it's mentioned in the story and I wanted to make sure everyone knew so they'd understand...

And another fact you might need to know:

My Immortal is a loose Harry Potter fanfiction that butchers the English language and advocates being 'goffik.' I hate her just for that. T-T she probably doesn't even know what it's like to have true depression and cut yourself for a real reason...Anyway, I started reading My Immortal (there's this one story mentioning it by P-12-Technomage so I looked it up) and I barely made it past the first two chapters...oh God... I mean, "Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time." Really. That line made my brain die just a little more...

谢谢 means thank you in Chinese. 8D I can speak Chinese! Haha...ha...hahaha...

France and England were fighting (UST!), America and Russia were arguing (more UST!), Cuba was beating up Canada (...not UST...), Greece was sleeping (the usual), Japan was reading doujinshis with Hungary (they couldn't decide, RusAme or FrUk?), Switzerland and Austria were arguing (civilly, the Austrian would claim), Germany was being yelled at by Romano ('you goddamn potato bastard!')...a normal meeting for the world, of course.

OLD GODZILLA WAS HOPPIN' AROUND, TOKYO CITY LIKE A BIG PLAYGROUND-

America stopped and cocked his head. "Is that Ultimate Showdown Of Ultimate Destiny I hear?" Russia rolled his eyes. "Only you would remember something as trivial as that."

Willfully ignoring the snide remark just made by his former Cold War rival (you lie, it was very hot), he shushed the rest of the world. "Listen!"

-GODZILLA GOT PISSED AND BEGAN TO ATTACK, BUT DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET BLOCKED BY SHAQ-

A pair of teenage girls appeared on the table.

"What...the...fuck..."

The taller one dusted herself off and stood shakily. "Hi guys! Remember us?"

The former Allies and Axis paled visibly. Yes, they did. Germany began to back away into a corner, mumbling something in German and generally freaking out.

America only rolled his eyes. "Nice to see you too."

She turned to face the rest of the very confused world. "I'm cake-error, and this is the-shadows-have-magic, and we're here to-what was the totally awesome catch-phrase we decided on?"

The-shadows-have-magic was engrossed in a laptop. "Haha, look at this quote: 'I'm here to drink tea and kick ass, and I'm all out of tea.'"

"...never mind." She smiled deviously. "Hey, Feliciano? Come here for a minute?" Handing him an unlabeled cup, she watched with satisfaction as he tentatively took a sip. "Come on, I promise it's not poison."

"What did you just give him...?" Austria was almost too afraid to ask.

The-shadows-have-magic slammed her laptop shut. "Lots of caffeine."

Gulp.

Italy's eyes widened.

Oh, shit.

He began to tremble with jittery energy, bouncing up and down in place. Eyes open and wide, he began to speed-say something in Italian. His brother tried to pull his arms behind his back, snarling something even more threatening at them.

"Oi, potato bastard! You gonna help or just be the pansy-ass you are and hide in the corner?"

Said potato bastard's brother smacked him upside the head, knocking him out of his trance. He stood up almost automatically and pulled Italy to his chest, crushing him in a protective hug (f-for safety reasons, o-of course!) and subduing him (sorta). The rapid-fire clicking of cameras could be heard.

"YOUR BREASTS BELONG TO ME, DA ZE!" South Korea snuck up behind the-shadows-have-magic and groped her. Screaming bloody murder, she aimed a backwards kick to where it hurt (and missed...). Cake-error grabbed a clock off the table and slammed it over his head.

As he passed out on the floor, she examined the now horribly damaged clock. "Damn. And it was my favorite."

"...y' keep clocks." Sweden deadpanned.

"Yup~"

No response.

She put on a thinking face. "Let's see...what'd we say we were gonna do next?" Her friend was busy twirling around a ribbon. "Oh, watch this!" She snapped the ribbon and enormous fireworks exploded all across the room. Gargantuan pink spiders pinwheeled around the ceiling as sparklers glittered and sparkled.

England covered his ears. "It's bad enough Hong Kong does this to me, now you?"

Somewhere, Hong Kong sneezed.

"Tissue?" Taiwan handed him a Kleenex.

"谢谢."

Back in the meeting room...The fireworks rained down, and they found themselves covered with rainbow sequins. England had to admit, Sweden did look kinda funny with sparkles all over him-oh shit he's glaring at me oh my god that's even scarier-

Russia took his pipe and scraped some of the glitter off of the table before him. "Were the sparkles necessary?"

"Sparkles are always necessary!"

No response to this.

America was standing by her laptop. "Whatcha readin'?" He opened the laptop lid.

The-shadows-have-magic waved her hand vaguely. "Oh, something random, probably like MLIA...wait, it's open on your other account, shit!" She leapt over the table (so heroically, she'd later insist), but it was too late.

Russia watched America's face carefully. It went through a loop of shock, revulsion, amusement, and then extreme embarrassment. "You...I have nothing to say to this."

England snorted. "Oh, thank the Lord, something's finally managed to shut America up."

"What is it, then? You will tell me, da?" Russia loomed behind her, smiling creepily and starting the chant. She flinched. Leaning over America's shoulder, he read whatever story was on the page.

Finally standing upright, he smirked. "We should try that sometime, da? America?"

"Hell no, you bastard!" A well-aimed punch to the groin incapacitated said bastard and left America smiling triumphantly over the Slavic nation writhing and moaning in pain.

Cake-error drifted over. "Which one did he read...oh. Oh. Oh." She pressed a few keys and smiled uneasily. "At least it wasn't My Immortal or something like that. Let's just keep going..."

She pulled out a backpack from under the table and reached inside to start throwing folded socks at them. As England opened his mouth to say something, a pair of navy-and-gold striped knee socks blocked whatever it was and elicited a wave of laughter from the rest of the room. "Come on, why do you hate me? I thought you hated France!"

She nodded. "You're right. I do." And promptly knocked France down with some neon pink ankle socks.

Korea started to come to. He stood up, wobbling and leaning on a chair. Cake-error only lifted the clock. "It applies to China, too."

Sighing in satisfaction, she set the broken time-keeper down. "I love being the author. It lets me be insanely strong and boss around the world. But I think I have cello class in a few minutes, so we'd better get going."

The-shadows-have-magic waved and smiled. "It was nice to meet you all~"

The two disappeared.

France tried to smile. "Well, at least they left normally-"

A cloud of feathers descended from the ceiling and coated everything in pink fuzz.

"You just had to say something."

Well, there's your crack ending! A lot longer than the last two chapters, and took a hell of a lot longer to write, but it made me laugh. 8) So there.