May: Previously!

"I hate you!" Kyuubi huffed, squirming in Itachi's arms. "Lemme go!" he cried. Itachi sighed, hugging the redhead and telling him to calm down and kissing him sweetly. "Noo!" Kyuubi cried half-annoyed, half-delighted at the way Itachi was treating him. He considered whether having sex with Itachi for the 13th time would be bad for his health.

And then the door burst open, Itachi's eyes glittered dangerously at whoever disturbed their mating, before he paled slightly "Iruka..." he muttered, in disbelief. Where the hell was Kakashi?!

The brunette looked at the condition the two pets, his eyes narrowed, and Itachi felt the same as that one time when his mother caught him snatching a bit of salmon afterhours when he'd been punished with no dinner. He shuddered at the spanking he'd recieved. 'Gods...help! Please! I'm just reproducing as Nature intended!' he watched warily as Iruka's face grew darker.

"You..." Iruka growled angrily. Several more imfamous torture plots running through his head.

Itachi twitched while Kyuubi glanced between them worridly.

Kakashi groaned, rubbing his head as he staggered around the Mating Center. "Itachi? Sasuke?" he glanced around numbly.

"KAKASHI!!!" Iruka screeched, advancing on the dazed man. He grabbed him by the shirt collar "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PETS WERE DOING TO MY PETS?! HUH?! He gave the gray-haired man a firm shake.

"Err…mating I suppose?" Kakashi replied dumbly. He paled when Iruka seemed to calm down; the man was even scarier when he was calm.

"…Did you plot this?" Iruka asked quietly.

"Uh… of course not!" Kakashi answered, wondering whether Sasuke and Itachi were still breathing.

"Hmph! Figures an idiot like you wouldn't be able to… Kyuubi and Naruto are so happy!" Kakashi stared as Iruka let him go, and proceeded to giggle to himself happily.

"Uhh…so they've accepted Sasuke and Itachi's as their mates?" Kakashi questioned, wondering how Itachi managed to mate with someone like Kyuubi, not to mention Sasuke with Kyuubi's little brother.

"Yup! I'm so happy! You should have seen them! Kyuubi and Naruto were practically in tears when I tried to skin your cats! I've already sent them over to your house, and I'll be visiting them frequently, here's my address and phone number, feel free to call anytime!" Iruka handed a thoroughly confused Kakashi his card, kissed the gray-haired man on the cheek and proceeded to skip down the hall merrily.

"…Sure?"

Kyuubi curled onto Itachi's king-sized bed, relishing the softness of the sheets. The soreness of the mating session with Itachi down to a dull throb. "I love your bed almost as much as I love you in bed." He stated, rolling onto his back, letting Itachi climb on top of him. He wrapped his arms around Itachi's neck loosely, and nuzzled his neck affectionately.

Itachi was surprised; he'd imagined Kyuubi would bitch about being mated to him, like refusing to sleep with him (which he'd never allow) and such. Not that he didn't like this side of Kyuubi either. He pulled back and kissed Kyuubi on the nose. He stripped off Kyuubi's clothing before taking off his own.

"Come on, you need sleep." He picked Kyuubi up and tugged the blankets down before replacing him onto the bed. He reached over to turn his bedside lamp off before settling back onto the bed and pulling the blankets up.

Kyuubi pressed himself against Itachi "Warm…" he murmured contently, as Itachi's arms wrapped around him. 'I hope Naruto's being treated like this…'

"Come on!" Sasuke purred sexily into Naruto's ear...through the bathroom door.

"No!" Came Naruto's muffled replied.

Sasuke leaned back, growling in annoyance. "Naruto! It's bedtime! Let's go to bed!"

"No! Iruka was really mad at Sasuke last time! He almost hurt Sasuke! If I do bad things with Sasuke again, Iruka'll be even madder, and really hurt Sasuke!" Naruto whimpered through the door.

Sasuke's eyes softened "You're worried about me?" he asked quietly, his tail waving slightly behind him.

"Uhuh…" Naruto replied.

Hearing this almost made up for not getting laid. Sasuke straightened slightly and began to purr softly to his mate "♪Don't worry, Naruto…I'll be fine…♫" he assured the blonde, his voice almost musical "♪Please come out…lay with me, my love…♫"

Naruto blushed as Sasuke sang to him; the leopard had a wonderful voice. He sighed in defeat; maybe he could tempt Iruka with some salmon or ramen. He unlocked the door and peeked at Sasuke who smiled sexily at him. Sasuke pushed the door open more and swept Naruto into his arms, carrying him bridal style to his bed. He pushed back his blankets and laid Naruto onto the bed. Naruto squirmed slightly as Sasuke climbed on top of him.

"I love you …" Sasuke murmured into Naruto ear, biting it affectionately. Sasuke slide himself between Naruto legs, pushing the crumpled sundress up off his mate's body.

Naruto whined, pushing at Sasuke "I don't wanna have sex with you…yet." He added at the angered look Sasuke gave him. "I don't know… if I like Sasuke enough…" he finished, pushing his body up and away from Sasuke's. He watched the brunette warily, in case Sasuke tried to force himself on him.

Sasuke was debating in his head, on one hand could let Naruto go for tonight and built trust up with blonde, on the other, he could rape the blonde; causing Iruka beat him and Kakashi to a bloody pulp, and take Naruto and Kyuubi back; causing Itachi beat him to an even bloodier pulp.

He sighed "Fine…" he unconsciously pouted.

Naruto's eyes glittered anxiously in the worry that his mate didn't like him. He rubbed against Sasuke, purring, calling him 'his sweetheart' among other things. He hugged the brunette and pulled him down to the bed "Let's get some rest…" he purred, his tails curling around the two of them.

Sasuke was glad he went with Plan A.

"No." Itachi snapped, Kyuubi gasped as Itachi tightened his grip around his waist.

"Itachi! I can't feel my toes! Or legs! Dammit, leggo!" he whimpered, looking desperately at Tsunade who leaned towards him, causing Itachi's grip to tighten even more "Itai! Itachi!" he tried to loosen Itachi's death grip, who growled loudly, eyes fixed on Tsunade as she tried to touch his mate.

"Is there anyway you can check for pregnancy while Itachi's holding him like that?" Kakashi asked the pet doctor. He knew full well that Itachi didn't like doctors, so it didn't surprise him that the leopard wouldn't let Tsunade touch Kyuubi either.

"It's more of the fact Itachi doesn't want me to touch Kyuubi period…" Tsunade sighed. "I give up, 4 hours straight of trying to pry Kyuubi loose is too much. I'm older than I look, and I doubt we could manage to sedate Itachi through Kyuubi's exam…if Kyuubi starts to develop any feverish symptoms, don't medicate him, call me. Period." She gave Kyuubi a sympathetic look and glanced at Itachi who growled lowly, while Kyuubi murmured something about 'possessive, horny mates' she turned to leave, before stopping and turning back around "What about the other one? Naruto was it?" she asked looking around.

"Don't worry, Sasuke hasn't mated with him this year, you're free to go." Kakashi grinned at her through his mask. "Good evening, Tsunade-sama."

"See ya, Kakashi. Tell Iruka I said 'hi.'" Tsunade waved at Kyuubi, who stared helplessly at her, before turning to leave the manor.

"Why did you stop her?!" Kyuubi wailed tugging on Itachi's black t-shirt, the brunette also had on a pair of gray shorts. Kyuubi clad in a black tanktop and white jeans.

Itachi raised a brow, more relaxed now that the 'evil witch doctor' was gone "She was going to touch you."

"Why should you stop her from touching me!?" Kyuubi whined "She's a doctor!" he crossed his arms and sulked.

Kakashi sighed "Itachi, Tsunade-sama is one of the best in the field when it comes to animal pregnancy. She could make sure your kits are born safely, while nothing bad happens to Kyuubi."

"I don't care. I refuse to let anyone touch Kyuubi below the waist."

"And when he's in labor?" Kakashi replied flatly, running a hand through his hair "…Itachi, you're not going to have Kyuubi try to have kits the 'Natural' way, right? It can be quite painful for the bitch of the relationship."

Itachi ignored him, he sighed "Let's go Kyuubi." He raised a brow when Kyuubi broke free and jumped up.

"No!" Kyuubi huffed "I hate you! I wish I'd never mated with you dammit! Don't you care about our children!" he snapped at Itachi, angry tears pricking at his eyes, before he stomped off- mostly likely to get lost.

"…" Kakashi sweatdropped as Itachi slumped down slightly "………He hates me?!... my mate hates me?" 'And he didn't like the sex?! WHAT THE HELL?!?!?!?' Itachi stared at the floor hopelessly.

Kakashi couldn't decide whether he should start laughing or call up Shusui, Itachi's psychiatrist. "Err…well he doesn't 'hate' you! You see… the relationship between Iruka and myself, is what someone would consider 'hate'." Kakashi stated simply, sighing when Itachi didn't reply.

At that moment Sasuke and Naruto walked in. Sensing Itachi's rarely appearing 'Angst Drama Queen' Mode, Sasuke turned to Kakashi. "Did Kyuubi and nii-san get in a fight?" he turned back to Itachi when Kakashi nodded, letting Naruto walk off to find and comfort Kyuubi. He examined Itachi, considering the thing that their mother had done to them as punishment. "Wanna eat some ice cream?" he asked his fellow sweet-hater. Itachi stared at him numbly.

Kyuubi and Naruto sat side-by-side on their couch, teary-eyed, with a tissue box on each armrest, watching the soap opera; Tides of Mist.

"Zabuza-sama! Why won't you accept my feelings?!" a remarkably woman-like boy/man in rags asked, clinging to Zabuza's gray dress shirt.

"I'm sorry, Haku…I love you! But am engaged to another! Raigo (the Seven Shinobi Swordsman that shoots lightning and likes to bury people alive in the Grand Filler arc.) and I are engaged to wed by our parents, there's nothing I can do…" Zabuza replied gently, pushing Haku away, causing the younger actor to cling to him even more.

Kyuubi and Naruto each grabbed a tissue, sniffling.

"B-but..!.. If you leave we'll never see each other again! Please! I'd die to keep you!" Haku gasped as Zabuza's hand managed to pry his loose. "No!" he wailed collapsing onto the ground "Please!"

"I'm sorry…" Zabuza murmured regrettably, before walking out the door. Haku bent over, breaking into sobs.

Naruto gave a cry and Kyuubi abruptly joined him "It's not fair!!!" they cried in unison, tears spilling down their faces.

Will Haku and Zabuza ever be reunited? See next time on; Tides of Mist…

Up next! The show critics are claiming the best in Konoha! Our favorite sexually-harassed doctor's assistant; Kabuto, and bipolar, cannibal, mental-health patient; Zetsu in; Ensnared Snake!

In case you're wondering, this is what Kyuubi was doing when Naruto found him, and the blonde was drawn in by the storyline. Thus, the brothers would be stuck here for a while, and Itachi could gain a few pounds from ice cream consumption.

May: I originally came up with the 'Soap Opera' idea when I was cleaning the downstairs bathroom, I got a headache XD, thank you fumes!

Kk: …okay, May…we go nigh-nigh, now…

May: Me no wan nigh-nigh!!! runs away to fume filled bathroom SANCTUARY!!!!! AHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Kk: sweatdrop M-may!!!! Don't!!!! turns to Itachi DO SOMETHING!!!!

Itachi: starts undoing cloak how about a free strip show?

May: SQUEE!!!!!!! runs to future hubby

Itachi: Kyuubi only!

May: wail