A/N: I just updated the story but I'm bored so I start the third and final chapter. If reviews inspire me enough then I might even think of writing an epilog. I might even spilt this chapter into two parts but I'll figure it out as I'm writing.

Warning: My first language is Estonian so I might have some mistakes (I've been learning English for 6 years so far)

Disclaimer: I don't own Castle.

Knockout – Part 1

The Captain's death was shocking. I still couldn't stop crying. It had been 3 hours ago when Captain sacrificed himself to protect me. Castle was the one who brought me home. Right now he was holding me while I sobbed. He let me cry silently. Even he cried. He didn't sob but the tears were soaking his cheeks.

I was basically sitting on his lap and was holding him tightly around his waist.. My head was buried into his chest and he had his arms wrapped around me. He had rested his chin on top of my head. I felt safe in his arms.

I wasn't mad at him anymore because of the fight. I think I forgave him as Montgomery was on suicide mission. I admit he was right. I had to step away so people in my life wouldn't be in danger and now thanks to my stubbornness my Captain was dead. If I had stepped out of this then he'd still be alive. But I can't step away from it. I can't fail my mother. I have to get justice and find the person who ordered Coonan to kill her.

This case was just too important to me. I couldn't let go now. It had been a part of my life for over ten years. The recent incidents proved that we were closer than ever to finding the person who ordered my mom's murder. I had to find those files that Montgomery stole. I knew that somewhere in those files is the answer to all of this. Too many people had already died because of this and I had to stop this before someone else would die. I didn't care what would happen to me if I tried to solve if but I didn't want the boys, Lanie, my father, Castle or his family to get hurt because of this. I had to stop it soon.

As we fought Castle bought up Josh. Every time he did that I felt guilty about not telling him. I hate how our fight ended. I was so mad at him that I never wanted to see him again. But I was clad that he was there when Captain was killed.

Part of me hated him for dragging me away from there but if he wouldn't have dragged me away from there all three of us could be dead right now and I can't to that to Alexis or Martha.

We both were crying as he held me against the car, his hand on my mouth. He was trying to calm me down. I just held onto him cause the moment he dragged me out of there I knew Montgomery was gonna die. I don't hate him for dragging me out of there 'cause I know that he really didn't want to leave Captain there to die.

I feel sorry for Captain's wife 'cause they just had their anniversary and he promised to retire but before he could he died. I can imagine what Captain's kids are going through. At least they know their dad died as a hero.

I couldn't believe that Roy had hidden the truth from me for so long. He had proven how good actor he was. He didn't even try to stop us investigating who the third cop was. He even encouraged us. It was like he was testing if we were good enough investigators. He was waiting for us to figure it out by ourself. I wonder what he did with those files he stole. I hated that he didn't tell me the name. He obviously knew exactly who was behind it but he took the secret with us as he died. I had to find those files someday so I could finally get justice. But now wasn't the time to deal with it yet. He had died only few hours ago.

Castle was running his fingers through my hair as if he was trying to calm himself down also. My sobbing soon stopped and I began to relax. I pulled away slightly but we were still wrapped in each others arms. I looked in his eyes. I didn't care how I looked like right now after all that crying.

We just stared into each others eyes for what felt like hours and then he whispered in hoarse voice "I'm sorry."

He was probably apologizing because of our fight. I told him "I've forgiven you." I really didn't like how my voice sounded after all this crying.

And then he had to ruin the moment. "Where's Josh?"

I sighed. I knew this day would come soon. "He hasn't been in my life for two weeks now."

He looked at me questionably. So I said "I broke up with him." I started to ramble. "I didn't know how to tell you and also I was a coward not using the moments I had to tell you and-"

He just but a finger on my lips to stop me from talking and then he lowered his head to mine. My heart started pounding hard as his face came closer to mine. I was looking him into the eyes and then his lips. I liked my lips as the memory of our first kiss entered my mind. I saw him looking my lips also. And then my eyes closed. I felt his hot breath on my face. I don't remember who closed the distance between us but at one moment our lips touched. His lips were even softer than I remembered. Our kiss was sweet and loving at first. Then it changed into something passionate. My hands went up to his hair. One of his hands was in my hair, the other was around my waist holding me as close to him as possible. As I pulled away – from the most amazing kiss that I have ever had – to breath, his lips found their way on my neck. He left many small kisses there and then found my lips again.

I don't remember how long we kissed but it took my mind away from Captain's death. Finally when we stopped our make out session, I wondered why the hell I didn't tell him about Josh earlier. All I could think was how much I loved him.

"I'm sorry. I just had to do it. Montgomery's death made me realize how short our life can be." He started to pull away while he apologized.

I hold him tight so he couldn't escape anywhere. "Don't be." I looked into his eyes. "I'm not." And then I kissed him lightly on the lips. I felt that he was a little surprised by this 'cause at first he didn't respond to the kiss but as he started to kiss me back I pulled back.

"I guess now we can talk about the things that we never talk about." He said and stroke my cheek with the back of his hand. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes.

I sighed. "I guess so. But not right now. We can talk about it after the funeral and then figure out what we are also."

He chuckled slightly. "The fight really broke a lot of tension between us."

I rested my forehead against his and nodded. "Yeah."

The memory of Captain lying there dead came back to my mind and I felt new tears rolling down my cheek. Castle took my face between his hands and whipped the tears away with his thumbs.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. We have each other now. We can get through this." He whispered.

I nodded. He kissed my forehead. "He was my mentor. He was like a second father to me."

"I know. You know, why I came that night and asked you to step away?" I shook my head. "Your father came to me one night." I pulled away to look into his eyes. I was surprised. Why my dad had met up with Castle one night? Castle answered that question before I could ask it. "He asked me how dangerous that guy was and then he told me he had already lost his wife because of this. He told me you wouldn't listen if he would've asked you to step away of this. He asked me to ask you to step away." I felt now guilty that my father had to go though this. It would break him completely if I'd die. I'm the only one who still holds him together. Castle continued "And then next evening it was Montgomery who told me the same thing. He knew he couldn't stop you himself but he believed that I had that power." Of course Captain had asked this. He tried to tear me away from it years ago but he couldn't and gave up.

"I'm sorry for yelling at you that day." I apologized resting my forehead against his again.

"It's okay. I understand. Your mother's case is important to you." He said in a low voice.

I kissed him again. The kiss was brief. "I didn't mean it when I told you we are over. I was just so angry at you."

He kissed my forehead and ran his hand through my hair. He really seemed to like my hair. "Don't worry about it."

Then I yawned. "Hey, maybe I should go home and let you rest. It's been very exhausting day." What did he mean by going home? I didn't want to be alone right now.

So I said "Stay." I leaned against his chest, closed my eyes and yawned again.

He nodded. He scooped me up in his arms, rose from the couch and carried me into my bedroom. He set me down to my bed and sat on the edge. I patted on the space next to me. He got the message and laid down next to me after taking of his jacket. I moved closer to him and rested my head on his chest. I put my hand around his waist. He put his hands around me and hold me safely in his arms. He kissed the top of my head.

It didn't take me long to fall asleep. His heartbeats sounded like a lullaby for me. And for the first time in months my sleep was calm and dreamless.

A/N: So I decided to write it in two parts. I'm moving tomorrow and I don't know when I'll have internet to update. I don't have much time do finish this chapter before I move (It's already 10 PM here in Estonia) so I updated the part that I've written so far.

The reviews keep me going on but please review more. I would really appreciate it.