Romana was sat in the captain's chair of the TARDIS and Rose was leaning against the console. Romana had just gone over the rules of time travelling and explained to her what she must and mustn't do and Rose had given her word that she would do everything that Romana required her to do in order to keep her safe. She only hoped she did because if she didn't, there would be consequences. She wasn't like the Doctor.
"Right then Rose Tyler, my first companion. Tell me, where do you want to go? Backwards or forwards in time. It's your choice." Romana asked her, her hands resting on top of her stomach, feeling very much relaxed.
"Forwards." Rose answered straight away, without a slight hint of hesitation.
"How far?"
"One hundred years." Romana got up and pressed some of the consoles before grinning at Rose.
"There you go. Step outside those doors and outside is the twenty second century." She indicated her head towards the doors.
"You're kidding?" Rose grinned.
"Nope though I admit the twenty second century a bit boring, been there once didn't like it. So, how about if we go further?"
"Fine by me!" Romana seemed to have danced around the console, knowing it like the back of her hands which in reality she did as she pressed some more buttons, Rose at her side was watching her eagerly.
"Ten thousand years in the future. Step out side and it's the year 12005, the new Roman Empire!"
Rose laughed. "You think you're so impressive."
Romana looked affronted. "I am so impressive thank you."
"You wish." Rose chuckled.
"Right then! You asked for it because I know exactly where to go so you better hold on tight!" The TARDIS gave a huge jerk and Rose nearly fell over before it stopped just as suddenly.
"So, where are we? What's out there?" Rose asked but Romana ignored her as she walked outside the TARDIS doors, Rose following her. They went down a flight of stairs and a large shutter in the wall descended to reveal an orbital view of the Earth.
"You humans, you spend all your time thinking about dying like you're going to get killed by diseases or asteroids but you lot just never take the time to imagine the impossible, that maybe you will just survive. This is the year five point slash apple slash twenty six. Five billion years in your future." Romana looked at her watch, before looking up just in time to see the sun flare and turn red. "And this is the day when the sun expands. Welcome to the end of world." Romana sent her a smirk before heading off to walk down a corridor.
Rose took one last glance at Earth before following her. "So, when it says guests, does it mean people?"
Romana shrugged. "Depends what you mean by people."
"I mean people. What do you mean?"
"Aliens of course."
Rose looked around her as she walked. "So what are they doing on board this spaceship? What's it all for?"
"Wrong. It's not a spaceship it is an observation deck. I need to give you a lesson or two about this. The great and the good are gathering to watch the planet burn."
Rose looked horrified. "What for?"
"Fun of course." Romana replied as they walked into a large area that was filled with a few display cases and a view of space to the front and above."Though, when I said the great and the good what I really meant is the rich."
"But hold on, they did this once on Newsround Extra. The sun expanding, doesn't that take hundreds of years?"
"Millions." Romana corrected. "But the planet's now property of the National Trust. They've been keeping it preserved. See down there? They are gravity satellites that are holding bak the sun." Romana pointed down to the satellites.
"The planet looks the same as ever. I thought the continents would have shifted and things." Rose shrugged.
"Oh you're right, they did shift but the National Trust shifted them back and right there is your classic Earth. But now money is running out and the nature is taking it's course. In the end, nature always wins."
"How long has it got?"
"Half an hour and then the planet gets roasted."
"Is that why we're here? Is this what you do? Jump in the last minute and save the earth?" Rose turned to look at her, her hands shoved in her pockets.
Romana shook her head. "I'm not saving it, for Earth the time's up. All the people have gone and no one's left." Just like me, Romana thought sadly. She still hasn't told Rose what happened to her people and the Doctor despite her questions. It was just to painful to talk about.
Suddenly a blue-skinned steward strides towards them, looking alarmed at them. "Who the hell are you?"
Romana gave him a warm smile. "Nice warm welcome."
The steward looked at the pair suspiciously. "But how did you get in? This is a maximum hospitality zone. The guests have disembarked and are on their way any second now."
"That's us. We're guests. I've even got an invitation," Romana pulled out a bright blue purse and showed the steward her psychic paper. "There, you see? Romanavoratrelundar and plus one. Romana for short and this person here is Rose Tyler who is my plus one. Is that all right?" Romana stored the psychic paper away.
The steward looked flustered. "Well, obviously. Apologies etcetera. If you're on board, we'd better start. Enjoy." He gave them a slight bow and walked over to a lecturn.
Rose looked at him with wide eyes before looking back to Romana, pointing at the steward. "He's blue."
"It's rude to point but yeah, he's blue." Romana put Rose's hands down.
"Okay." Rose said, slightly awed.
"We have in attendance Romanavoratrelundar otherwise known as Romana with Rose Tyler. Thank you." Suddenly, small blue children appeared.
"Hurry now. Thank you and be as quick as you can. Now, may I introduce you the next honoured guest? Representing the Forest of Cheam, we have trees, namely, Jabe, Lute and Coffa."
The doors slide open and three bark-skidded people walked in, one woman with two larger male escorts entered.
"There will be an exchange of gifts representing peace. If you could keep the room circulating, thank you. Next from the solicitors Jolco and Jolco and next we have the Moxx of Balhoon." A small blue alien that was sitting on a transport pod came in. "And next, from the Financial Family Seven, we have the Adherents of the Repeated Meme."A group of black-robed bipeds walked in. "The inventors of Hypo-slip travel system, the brothers Hop Pyleen. Thank you. Next we have Cal Spark Plug. Mister and Mrs Pakoo. The Ambassadors from the City State of Binding Light."
Jabe walked up to Romana, holding a small plant pot in her hands. "The Gift of Peace. I bring you a cutting of my Grandfather." Romana gratefully took it.
"Thank you. In return, I will give you the air from my lungs." She gently breathed onto Jabe and Jabe smiled pleasantly.
"How intimate." She smiled.
"Oh, there's plenty more where that came from."
"I bet there is." Romana smirked and Jabe moved to the side.
"From the Silver Devestation, the sponsor of the main event, please welcome the Face of Boe." Romana straightened up, another telepathic being in her mind and she quickly built up her boarders to protect her mind and the Face of Boe gave her a curt nod in it's big glass cage, as though he knew her.
Time travels. Romana sighed, it must be otherwise how else would the Face of Boe look at her that way? Suddenly the Moxx of Balhoon came up to them and Romana turned and smiled pleasantly at it. "The Moxx of Balhoon, it is an honour."
"My felicitations on this historical happenstance. I give you the gift of bodily saliva." He spat on Rose and she pulled a disgusted look and Romana couldn't help but chuckle at the luck of Rose's face once Moxx left.
"Thank you very much."
Suddenly, the group of hooded figures walked up to them, Rose wiping the spit of her face with the end of her sleeves. "The Adherents of the Repeated Meme." One of them held out it's hand and a large metal ball appeared.
"This is a gift of peace in all good faith." Romana took it and eyed them suspiciously, something was not right about them but she couldn't figure out what. She gave Rose the metal ball.
"And last but not least, our very special guest. Ladies and gentleman, trees and multiforms, consider the Earth below. In memory of this dying world, we call forth the last Human. The Lady Cassandra O'Brien Dot Delta Seventeen." A face in a piece of thin skin that was stretched in a rectangular frame was wheeled in by two men that were covered from top-to-toe in hospital clothing. Cassandra battered her eyelids.
"Oh now, don't stare. I know, I know it's shocking, isn't it? I've had my chin completely taken away and look at the difference. Look how thin I am! Thin and dainty. I don't look a day over two thousand. Moisturise me. Moisturise me."
One of her attendants used a pump spray to spray something onto her skin. "Truly, I am the last Human. My father was a Texan, my mother was from the Arctic Desert. They were born on the Earth and were the last to be buried in its soil. I have come to honour them and say goodbye. Oh, no tears, no tears. I'm sorry, but behold, I bring gifts from Earth itself. Here is the last remaining ostrich egg and legend says it has a wingspan of fifty feet and it blew fire from its nostrils. Or was that my third husband? Oh no, don't laugh! I'll get laughter lines. And here's another rarity." Whilst Cassandra talked, Rose walked round the back of her just to see how thin she was when a 50's juke box is wheeled in.
"According to the archives, this was called an Ipod. It stores classical music from humanity's greatest composers. Play on!" One of the stewards put a vinyl in and it was Toxic by Britney Spears. Romana grinned and folded her arms before she did a little dance move and shake of her head, listening to the music. She had to admit, it was catchy.
"Refreshments will now be served. Earth Death in thirty minutes." The steward called out. Romana looked at Rose who shook her head, not taking in all the aliens and ran out of the room. Romana sighed, perhaps she went a bit to far and made her way to follow her when she got stopped by Jabe.
"Romana?" Jabe asked, holding a small device in her hands which gave a bright flash, making Romana blink. "Thank you." She wondered off and Romana continued after Rose.
Jabe consulted to her device once Romana left the room, which made loud twittering noises. "Identify species. Please identify species. Now stop it." Jabe told the device warningly. "Identify her race. Where is she from?" Her eyes widened in shock." Impossible."
As Romana walked of to find Rose, she saw the little assistants wheel the TARDIS away. "Oi, be careful now. That belonged to a very dear friend of mine so park it carefully. There better be no scratches on it." She sent them a slight smile and one of them handed her a ticket which said; Have a nice day. She shoved it in her pocket and went to find Rose before she stopped near another room, hearing movement on the other side.
"Rose? You in there?" She pressed some buttons and the door slides up and Romana nodded, satisfied as she saw Rose perched on the end of the stairs in the room. Romana sat down next to her. "So what do you think?"
"Once I got past over the weird trick with the paper thing, fine, yeah. But they're just so alien. Aliens are so alien. You look at 'em and they're alien."
Romana snorted. "Good thing I didn't take you into the Deep South then."
"Where are you from?" Rose asked, looking at her.
Romana shrugged. "All over the place."
"If they're alien, how come they're speaking English?"
"Nope. You just hear English. It's a gift of the TARDIS. The telepathic field gets inside your brain and translates everything around you. Including what I'm saying right now."
"It's inside my brain?" Rose looked at her in shock.
"It's in a good-way. You want to be able to understand everything don't you? Saves me from having to translate every alien language from word to word everywhere we go."
Rose stood up, looking angry. "But your machine is inside my head. It gets inside my head and changes my mind and you didn't even ask?"
Romana shrugged. "Didn't see a reason too. Not like it's harming you."
Rose shook her head. "No because you were too busy thinking up cheap shots about the Deep South. So who are you then Romana? Is that even your real name? What sort of alien are you?"
"I'm just Romanavoratrelundar."
"From what planet?"
"Not like you know where it is anyway." Romana retorted. "Why does it even matter to you?"
"President of what? Just tell me who you are!"
"Okay fine. This is who I am, right here, right now all right?" She pointed angrily at herself. "All that counts is here and now and this is me."
"Yeah and I'm here too because you brought me here so just tell me."
Suddenly, a loud computer voice interrupted them. "Earth Death in Twenty minutes. Earth Death in Twenty Minutes."
Rose sighed and bit her fingernails. "All right. As my mate Shareen says, don't argue with the designated driver." She took out her mobile. "Not like I can exactly call for a taxi. No signal."
Romana took her phone off her and grabbed her sonic screwdriver. Humans and their phones. "Tell you what." She said as she took her phone apart. "With a little bit of jiggery pokery..."
Rose leaned over her shoulder. "Is that a technical term, Jiggery pokery?"
"Oh yeah, it's what I'm President for." She sent her a wry smile. "What about you?"
Rose shook her head, amused. "No, I failed hullabaloo."
Romana fixed up her phone again and handed it back to her. "There you go." She let Rose have her privacy whilst she talked to her mum and looked at the Earth, alone in her thoughts before she heard the last seconds of the conversation.
"Is there something wrong?" She heard Roses mother, Jackie ask.
"No, I'm fine. Top of the world." Romana laughed and Jackie hung up.
"If you think that's amazing, you want to see the bill." Romana looked pointedly at the phone. Rose held her mobile close to her chest.
"That was five billion years ago. So, technically she;s dead now. Five billion years later and my mum's dead."
"Bundle of laughs you are." Rose was about to say something when the space station gave a slight shake and Romana frowned, looking up at the ceiling. "Now that's not meant to happen."