Every victor had a Victory Tour the winter after they made it out of the arena, starting exactly six months after their Games had begun with the reaping. It wasn't much of a celebration for the people in the other districts, since their tributes died. There was no victory for the family of the District Four girl. I didn't know them so I wasn't sad but I kind of understood how sad they were. It turned out that Finnick's Victory Tour was only the first of his many trips outside the district.

I'm not sure if Finnick liked me so much anymore now that he was so rich and famous. Also, he had always been handsome, but he was getting even more so as he continued growing up. He was spending most of his time with pretty women from the Capitol. Sometimes he went to the Capitol, presumably to visit them, and sometimes they visited him here in District Four. Sometimes he was supposed to meet me at our beach, but kept me waiting to be with them.

He insisted he didn't like that and that he'd rather be here with me, but I found that hard to believe. I was no expert in boys, even after spending so much time with one I once thought was so wonderful. However, I was not stupid. Probably the only thing that was hard about it was his dick as he was fucking them. Of course he'd rather be in bed with beautiful ladies instead of sitting on the sand with little old Annie.

I used to believe what he said, but when it kept happening, I wasn't so sure anymore. I wondered if he couldn't explain things or just didn't want to. He admitted he was keeping secrets and even said that secrets were all he had left. There was something about being a victor, something I obviously wouldn't understand, but he seemed to be doing pretty well.

Then maybe I thought there was some nasty secret he was trying to keep me safe from. It seemed those Capitol people must be threatening him since he kept going to see them when he said he wanted to stay here with me. I pointed out I hadn't left him, told him I wouldn't and he believed that. He had made a net and I had learned how to swim – we had kept that promise and we had just made another one.

He went to the Capitol throughout the year, but especially when it was time for the Games. Maybe one reason he did what he did was to help get sponsors for his tributes. It didn't work. The next year, the District Five girl won, and the District Two boy the year after that. Stephanie was near as pretty as a District One girl … or me, as my sweet Finn would insist. Ruby London tried to act like a regular District Two tough guy, but it was clear he wasn't.

For my next birthday, my 16th and just 22 days until his 17th, he told me one of his secrets. "There's only one woman whose bed I really want to be in – yours. All the people in the Capitol who 'love' me, they don't compare to you. You know in your heart I'm real. They see me as only a choice fresh filet from the districts. You adore your Finn."

"Mmmh, I do, sweetie!"

"They're twisted almost beyond recognition by tattoos, wigs and surgeries I can't even begin to describe. You're naturally beautiful. That curly brown hair of yours," he said while stroking it. "I just want to curl around you," he said while putting his hands around me; even I knew that was more than a hug. "That glistening olive skin, I just want to eat you all up." Ooh, I'm feeling really funny now. "I know I just made it difficult for you to breathe," he said while smiling, but try, I don't want to lose the beautiful little fishy who caught me in her net."

"Well, can I pull you in?" I asked while smiling back. Of course I could; why do people ask silly questions just to talk? He let me bring his head closer to my face so I could kiss him, then while we were still kissing, he stuck his tongue out to lick my lips. I tried to do that too, and then he put his tongue all the way into my mouth, and this felt even better than his regular kisses. It was late autumn, so nearly winter, so I don't know why I was getting so sweaty, but I was.

I usually think so carefully about everything I do, and here I am loosening my pants. I guess I was ready for Finnick to see me like that. Still, the word naked made me hesitate, although only for a second. Most everyone had seen Finnick nearly like that, but it was still a surprise when he took off his shirt in person, a very good surprise indeed. He was sweaty too, and the salty water on his skin made him shine even more. I took off my shirt. I didn't have much underneath it, like how the girls at school often teased me, so I wasn't wearing anything now.

I saw another reason why Finnick was so popular. This was the step where the boy puts it in the girl, so I moved my legs apart a bit. However, Finnick decided to kiss me there instead, and this new kiss was even better than the other new kiss. I was screaming and moving around my bed, but in a very good way. "I wanted to make my Annie feel good…"

"And you did, you sure did!" I said still glowing from what he did to me. I put my hand on him and could barely squeeze at all it was so hard. The bulging blood vessels that made him so hard felt amazing under my fingers. I started moving my hand up and down the skin. He stood up a bit so it was in front of my mouth. People talked about sucking their boyfriends, so that's what I did, and he eventually sprayed inside my mouth. I knew semen had a strong taste, but I figured it wouldn't bother someone used to swallowing saltwater, and I suppose I was right.

"I wish I could even make love to you, but part of the threats are to leave myself for the Capitol clients. People know I'm the only one you want, so if you got pregnant it would be obvious I had been with you. Even if not, the torn hymen would be less obvious, but proof all the same, that I dared fuck the woman I actually love," Finn explained.

I have a feeling I wasn't the only girl who got Finnick Odair for her birthday, but the sole bright spot was that he really knew what he was doing when I got him. He couldn't see me that often, but he had plenty of ideas when he did come to my bedroom. Even those trips were a risk, a risk he took just to see the glow in my eyes.

I barely noticed that the District Three girl Regina won the third Games after Finnick's. I zoned out during Games season; in general I could be good at focusing on something else. Finnick tried to since he still hurt from having had to kill people, but new Games kept reminding him of it as he watched more people die. Sometimes I thought he was getting better and after another trip to the Capitol, he came back worse. Kissing me was no cure, but it was a better one than doing drugs. Most people thought it was funny when other victors did things under the influence. I knew better, I knew Finnick needed me to be there for him, like how he had been there for me at the beach and ever since.

Eventually, it was about time for the fourth reaping since Finnick won, yet I thought something much more important was happening. "Finn, today's a big day," I told him.

"The big day isn't for twelve more days, Annie," he answered.

I figured he wouldn't have known, but he was one of the few people who really liked listening to my stories, instead of just pretending to in order to be nice. "Before … before Panem," I started. I had been exposed to a bit of old history by particularly devoted teachers and had discovered much more on my own. "People and machines sailed into space."

"To watch the stars from up close?"

"Oh, Finn, the stars were still very far away, but people wouldn't have to look through clouds and everything else in the air. It's like looking through clear air instead of murky water. It must have been beautiful. Oh, but people could step back and look at the Earth, and get a closer look at the moon."

"Now, Annie, what is this big day?"

"Some people even landed on the moon. Five hundred years ago, that happened for the first time. One of the greatest, most inspiring accomplishments ever in the history of human civilization and we ignore the half-millennium because we've forsaken our highest instincts to wallow in our basest ones."