Alrighty then. Here we go with # 3 of our journey into a funny relaxing trip. Whoo hoo! Here we go! I'm so excited for this chapter. Because this is part of the big climax of the story. Enjoy!
Onsen Trip
Chapter 3
The Plans
The best part of being at an onsen is the relaxing presence. The air itself makes you feel calm and cool. However, if that air is full of plotting schemes, then you've got a tense presence on your back. It's not easy to shake off.
Shuhei walked back into the room, and the guys were all gathered around in the main room. "Glad you finally made it back. Any trouble?" Kyouraku asked. "No, they were eager to get rid of me actually." He said, rubbing the back of his head.
"Hmm. Wonder why. Let's find out shall we?" Kyouraku smirked and turned on a small radio that sat in the middle of the circle they sat in.
"I can't believe those idiots actually listened to our conversation in the baths!" "Yeah I know. They could've been courteous and left or blocked it out or something!" Of course they'd talk about that.
"So I was thinking." They listened closely. "What if we got back at them for it? You know, teach 'em a lesson." So they were thinking the same thing.
"Sounds like fun! I've always wanted to play a trick on those guys! But every time I tried I either chickened out or they got the better of me!"
"So what did you have in mind Yoruichi?" "Well, why don't we invite them to our room, you know, a friendly meeting. To discuss the matter like adults. Only instead, when they come in, we act all drunk and start messin' with 'em."
"That's a fun idea! I'm all for it!" "All in favor say 'aye'!" "Aye!" "Aye!!" Aye." "Aye!" "The Aye's have it!" "That's the plan! Let's hurry and set up for them!" A bunch of giggling and rustling around was heard next. The discussion was over.
"Turn it off." Kyouraku said and Renji switched it off.
"So that's all they're planning?" Ichigo asked. "I guess so. You think they're onto us?" Izuru asked. "How can they be? We were so careful." Ikkaku said, scratching his head.
"Well, what do we do now? What's your big plan Kyouraku?" Kenpachi asked. "Simple, we simply counter their own plot. We get them before they get us." He said.
"Like how?" Shuhei asked. "Instead of waiting for them to call, we call them here. Then we leave the room. Then when they get here we'll leave a surprise for 'em." He explained.
"What kind of surprise?" Yumichika asked. "How about real drunk men. I saw some when I was getting the microphone." Renji suggested. "Perfect! So when they get here, they'll be mauled by drunk men and then we come to the rescue, that should get them to forgive us for eavesdropping." Kyouraku said.
"That's not a half bad idea." Ichigo said. "I guess it's okay." Izuru said. "How about you Hitsugaya, what do you think?" Kyouraku asked, turning to the younger boy who was sitting in the corner.
"I want no part in this, something in you plan is going to backfire and your going to get busted." He snorted. Folding his arms.
"Ooh! Rangiku-chan is right, you are a party pooper." Kyouraku pouted, then turned to everyone else.
"You guys in?" He asked. "Yeah!" "Sure!" "I'm in!" "Uh huh!" It was unanimous. Hitsugaya shook his head. Something' gonna go wrong and they'll get into bigger trouble then they're in now. He thought and closed his eyes and blocked out the plotting they began doing.
"Turn the radio back on. We need to listen for any changes in their plan." Kyouraku said and Ichigo switched it back on.
To The SWA...
"So is it all set?" Kukaku asked. "Yeah, I just need to get another sake bottle and we're set." Rangiku said with a thumbs up. "Good. Yoruichi, we're set in here." She called.
"Great! We are in here too!" She called back.
"Wait, who's going to go get them?" Momo asked. "I'll go." Isane volunteered. Before she even made it to the door, a soft knock sounded. "Who could that be?" Kukaku asked.
Isane walked up and slid the door open. Yumichika stood outside. "Y-Yumichika-san, what're you doing back?" She asked nervously.
"W-Well, Zaraki-taicho and everyone wanted to invite you all to come to our room and discuss this like adults. They don't want you to be angry." He said. Kukaku showed up behind Isane. "And why may I ask do we have to go there?" She asked.
"Um... Because there's more space to discuss this." He answered, it wasn't really a great excuse. "Hmm. Let us discuss this with the others." Kukaku said and slid the door closed.
"They're talking privately now." Yumichika whispered, he had a microphone in his collar of his robe. "Right, we're listening..." Kyouraku said.
"So what do you think? Should we trust them?" Kukaku asked after explaining the situation. "I don't know, I mean it seems like a harmless offer, but it completely ruins our original plan." Yoruichi said with a finger to her lips in a thoughtful expression.
"Great, this means I have to clean up all these sake bottles!" Rangiku moaned. Then she realised something and smiled. She picked up a bottle and began disposing of it. Into her stomach.
"It does sound more mature. Maybe while we're there we can find some other way to smash their heads in." Kukaku said and Yoruichi laughed.
"Maybe we can trip them onto each other and take a photo of it and post it in the Shinigami Weekly." She laughed.
"Yeah. Anybody got a camera?" Kukaku asked. "I do! I take it whenever Taicho and me go to the living realm!" Rangiku cheered, pulling out a disposable camera.
In the guy's room, Toshiro shook his head. There were times he wished the creator of cameras would just drop dead. Once Rangiku took a photo of him while he was sleeping. And another while he was changing shirts.
"So we're going?" Isane asked. "Yeah, tell Yumi we'll be right out." Yoruichi said and Isane trotted to the door, Yumichika was still waiting. "We'll be right out. Go ahead without us." She said. Yumichika nodded and headed back to his room.
Back At The Guys' Room...
"Where's Renji with those guys? They were supposed to be here ten minutes ago." Kyouraku said, tapping his foot with his arms crossed.
"It's a bunch of drunk men, they're probably too hard to get off their asses." Ichigo said.
"Good thing we sent Izuru to get them." Shuhei said. "Sonny! I ain't goin' nowhere! I need another drink, whose got the cash? Oh that's right, Setsa has all the cash! Where is he?!" A man slurred in the hallway.
"What do you mean I got the cash?! I gave it to Kusuki!" Another man yelled. "I ain't got it! I thought we left it on the counter in the bar! Damn it Yousuke!" The shouting went on. "WOULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP?!" Renji's voice roared.
Kyouraku motioned for everyone to vacate the room, so the drunks could come in. They slipped out the other door.
The door flew open and Renji and Izuru were dragging three drunken men into the room. "Dammit, you guys weigh a ton!" Renji cursed. They dropped them and ran out of the room.
"Okay, so Yumichika will enter the room and go out this door. Then we wait for the women to get here and they'll go in and the drunken men will do their stuff. Then when we hear the screaming, we jump in to the rescue and the rest will unfold itself." Kyouraku explained.
They all stood outside their room in the hallway, around the corner so they wouldn't be seen when the women came.
Hitsugaya was just there as a viewer, he had no intention of acting in on this in any way.
"Shh, here they come." Ichigo said. They heard the giggles and peeked around to see Yumichika go into the room and shut the door. A few seconds later he came out the side door. "Everything's set." He whispered. "Good." Kyouraku said and peeked around.
They saw Yoruichi leading them, their giggles and whispers were very suspicious. They had to turn off the microphone to avoid getting caught.
They knocked on the door. "Hmm. That's funny, I thought this was their room? It's the room Yumichika said to go to." Isane said. "Maybe they didn't hear your soft knock." Kukaku said and began knocking the door with her fist.
'Who is it?! Whaddya want?! Is it Ryusuke, the tightwad who owes me 3400 yen?!" A man yelled within. "Huh?" Kukaku said, bewildered. She opened the door and all the women stepped in, the door shutting behind them.
A few seconds went by and nothing happened. "Do you suppose the drunks passed out?" Shuhei asked. "Probably. Damn it! There goes a perfect plan-" "EEEEEEEEEEK!!" They heard and jumped.
A bunch of frightened screams and shrieks were heard from the room. "There's our cue. Let's go!" Kyouraku said and they sprinted around the corner and burst into their room.
"Oh hello handsome!" A drunken man said and he and the other two jumped onto the guys. Mostly Ichigo Renji and Shuhei. They were all stacked up on one another in awkward positions.
"EYAAAA! WHAT THE HELL?!" They shouted as the drunken men snuggled and cooed on top of them. That's when a couple of flashes went off.
They looked up and all the women were rolling on the floor, bursting with laughter. Rangiku with her camera.
"GOTCHA!!" They all shouted together.
"WHA?!" The men gasped. "You've just been tricked." "Looks like the fools just got fooled!" "That's what you get for eavesdropping!" They giggled.
"Wait a second! What's going on?!" Izuru asked.
"And get off me!" Ichigo shouted. "Alright Yousuke, you and your buddies can get off 'em now." Rangiku said with a wide grin. "Aww, but he's such a hottie." He whined.
"C'mon big boy." She laughed as she picked him up off the floor. Setsu and Kusuki got up too, although reluctantly.
"Okay, come in and have a seat. We'll explain what happened." Kukaku said. Everyone came in and sat in a circle.
Rangiku began. "Okay, so Yumichika, Shuhei, and Ikkaku told us you guys were here. That you had eavesdropped on us in the baths. Well we wanted to teach you a lesson. So Soi Fon volunteered and went up into the vents above your room. See?" She pointed to an air conditioning vent above them.
"I stayed quietly up there and listened in on your plan. When I realized what you were going to do I went back and told the girls everything." Soi Fon said.
"So we purposely through our clothes around like that so you'd think we were fooling around and put that tear in Yoruichi's robe too. We also set that glass of water there too, just in case." Kukaku said.
"So when Shuhei, Ikkaku and Yumichika came, we were all set, we just had to give you a hand." Rangiku said.
"So how'd you know what we were doing after that?" Kyouraku asked. "Remember when Yoruichi put her hand on your shoulder Shuhei?" Rangiku asked. Shuhei gave a confused look, then Izuru looked into his collar.
"Hey! There's a microphone clipped into your collar Shuhei!" He exclaimed.
"Yup, we put that there so we could keep a surveillance on you. It worked too. We knew what you were planning. And we faked our plan so you could counter us. We were one step ahead of you the whole time." Yoruichi explained.
"So when we heard you wanted to sick drunkies on us, I went to the bar and met these three: Yousuke, Setsu and Kusuki. They were nice guys and agreed to assist us." Rangiku explained.
"I don't believe it." Renji sighed. "Believe it." Rukia smirked.
"It wasn't until they agreed that I found out they were homosexual." Rangiku pointed out. The guys gave her a confused look.
"Oh my god, you don't know what that means do you?" They shook their head.
Rangiku burst out laughing. "It means their gay! They like men!" She explained and all the guys gave then shocked and disgusted looks. "No wonder that guy called me handsome." Renji murmured.
The girls were laughing all over again. "It was just so perfect. So we asked them to make a little noise and jump you guys when you "came to the rescue". Then I got some perfect snapshots of you guys." Rangiku laughed and held up the camera.
"Hey! Give that here!" Ichigo said and reached for it. Rangiku tossed it to Yoruichi.
"Okay, so, here's the deal. We won't develop these pictures and show them to all of Soul Society in Shinigami Weekly, if you do us a favor." She smiled wickedly. "What kind of favor?" Kenpachi asked.
"You have to do something... to make up for eavesdropping." Kukaku said and grinned widely.
"Like what?" Ikkaku asked. The girls looked at each other and giggled.
"You have to run through the onsen in your underwear." Yoruichi said. "What?! No way!" All the men shouted.
"Then I guess Soul Society will be pleased to see their taichos, fukutaichos, 3rd seats, 5th seats and substitutes in a very nice position with a couple of gays." Rangiku said with a sly grin.
"Matsumoto, you wouldn't dare." Hitsugaya said with a warning glare. "Oh don't worry Taicho. You don't have to, since you refused to be part of it, you don't have to do the favor." Rangiuk assured. "Oh, then do what you like." He said and turned from everyone.
"Traitor." Kyouraku whined quietly, Nanao's foot appeared in his face. "Taicho, I'm ashamed of you, sneaking around trying to play dirty tricks on us when we're the victims here!" She growled and shoved her foot down harder.
Yachiru jumped onto Ikkaku's head. "Baldy! You and Peacock-Brow should know better then to play mean tricks on me. This means candy duty for three months." She smiled widely and beagn jumping from one head to the other.
"No! Not candy duty!" Ikkaku exclaimed. "Candy duty?" Ichigo asked. "It's when they have to find and feed her candy. And sometimes she bites into more than just candy." Kenpachi explained.
"Damn." Renji said. "Yeah, so it's decided .Either run in your underwear or get plastered all over Soul Society." Yoruichi smirked.
All the men looked at each other. What was worse, just running in your underwear one time? Or being laughed at by multiple Shinigami for up to 6 months?
They chose running one time in their underwear.
Half An Hour Later...
"I hate my life." Izuru said as he ran through the onsen. "I hope to god they don't have cameras in here." Shuhei said. "I hope to god nobody we pass has a camera." Renji said.
They all ran through the onsen, in nothing but their underwear. The girls laughed their asses off as they watched. It was too funny. When were you ever going to get another chance to see this? When they weren't looking Rangiku snapped a couple more pictures of them.
A little vacation memory. The title: Idiots who eavesdropped and had to drop their pants.
A few minutes later they came back and got back into their robes. Pretending that it didn't just happen. The girls had their laughs and said they were even.
Thank god because they can't deal with anymore surprises.
That's it! Chapter 3! Whoo! I had fun with this. I can't believe I made them run in their underwear. Oh well. I just couldn't make Hitsugaya run in underwear, it didn't seem right. Plus I love him more than anyone else in this show. Other than Rangiku.
Well, there's another chapter. It's not over yet. So stay tuned for it. We're nearing the end though. But don't worry. Like I said, this is only the first story of the series.
Laterz! RedPearlVoice.