WOO, here's another chapter for you all!

I'm now going to stop denying the fact that I have important exams in three/four days. :D Revision, here I come. It's all the more brilliant by the good timing of said exams! I have two on my birthday. Twooooooooooo exams on my birthday. I think I might die.

No matter! If I don't die, I'll have plenty more time to write. Updates will definitely speed up after Tuesday, my faithfuls! CX

I hope this lives up to expectation. and as ever, if you have a chuckle, please leave a review. C:

PS. There will be more of the other Decepticons as requested. Everything you ask for will be written in, I assure you (well, as long as it's within my boundaries)! ;D

PPS. I neglected to mention this last update- we have deduced how you flourish a door! It's all in the arm not opening said door. You can wave and thrust that about with abandon. Brilliance. Cookies to Grumpy Old Diamond.

Starscream watched with vague interest as the undulating waves from Sam's point of disappearance slowly faded. '...Can we go now?'

'We must wait for the boy,' Megatron declared, frowning. 'Why has he refused to re-emerge?'

'Not everything is a matter of choice,' Starscream replied witheringly. 'Not everything is refusal or compliance.'

'Yes it is,' the commander disagreed.

The Seeker's optics flickered away from the water. 'Prove it.'

'Is that some form of a challenge?'

'Maybe it is, if you want to view it that way.'

'Have you just challenged Megatron?'

'Must we go over this again?' Starscream demanded. 'The boy could be drowning.'

'Drowning in what?'

The smaller mech nearly wailed. 'He needs oxygen to live!'

'And?'

'Humans cannot breathe underwater!'

'Says who?'

'Says- says life!'

'Who is this life?' Megatron demanded. 'How dare they stipulate if the boy can live or not! I shall-'

'The boy is going to die,' Starscream enunciated clearly, hoping the message might be conveyed.

A rumbling growl from the commander was accompanied by the appearance of his intimidating cannon. 'A death threat, Starscream?'

The Seeker hurriedly backed away, wings lowered. 'No, no! I was- I was just saying that unless the boy is retrieved from the lake it will be his end!'

'Well then,' Megatron snarled lowly, 'you had better get in there at once, hadn't you?'

'But what if he's deep under? I don't want to get wet! The water will get inside-'

'I am ordering you to go.'

Starscream hissed furiously. 'I refuse! You will have to retrieve him!'

'Must we make this painful?' Megatron asked dangerously.

'I'd like to see you go underwater!' the second snapped, then stroked his chin in mock-thought. 'Oh wait, you have! Two years of it.'

'Go now,' Megatron snarled.

'But- but I don't lik-' Starscream eyed his bristling commander, wisely rethought the complaint and, with a shudder and tensing of his wings, miserably stepped down into the water. Coming up to his lower leg, the liquid instantly worked past his armour, swirling around his inner mechanisms and chilling his protoform. 'Cold!' he wailed, clenching a fist reflexively.

Megatron's cannon clicked deeply and ominously.

'I'm going!'

Starscream scanned the water in misery, trying to locate the human. The lake was much deeper than he had originally anticipated. Hopefully he wouldn't have to completely submerge in order to retrieve-

Oh, stupid boy.

With a snarl of frustration, the Seeker flicked his wings violently and dived below the surface.

Megatron watched impatiently.

Starscream would probably drag this out for as long as he could, he knew; the Seeker was most resentful of being forced to do undesirable things. Not that it really mattered- Megatron always came out on top.

Always.

Which was why he remained satisfyingly in control of his mounting frustrations as Starscream stayed underwater. The Seeker would suffer for it later, and this time could be used for imagining his humiliation. The method for extracting said humiliation would be a spontaneous one, of course. Megatron did not plan anything- why should he? He was Megatron, and he had minions to plan for him.

Starscream's helm finally broke the surface of the water.

Megatron smiled pleasantly as furious red optics narrowed at him. 'Hello, dear.'

The Seeker decided not to honour the commander with words- instead, he simply and hatefully oozed his way through the lake to the edge.

'No,' Megatron cheerfully denied, blocking the mech's exit. 'You're not coming out. Give me the boy.'

Seething, Starscream spat a limp, unmoving Sam into Megatron's claws.

'You've killed him, you fool.'

'I disagree. The water killed him.'

'Hurry up and unkill him,' Megatron ordered.

'You can't just unkill something. That word isn't even real.'

'I have said it, and I have made it so.'

'Well, I cannot revive him. I cannot perform CPR. It would kill him.'

'He's already dead. What's the problem?'

'He isn't dead. His heart is still beating, albeit in a most irregular and slow fashion. CPR would break his stick-like bones,' Starscream hissed. 'Don't you know what CPR is?'

'Revive him, or I will give you CPR,' Megatron smugly threatened.

'You don't know a thing about CPR!' the Seeker accused.

'Wrong!' Megatron cried delightedly. 'And you know I always carry through threats.'

Starscream thought for a moment and concluded that CPR from Megatron was not preferable.

Luckily for Sam, he also calculated the exact amount of pressure which could be applied to the human's chest without serious damage.

So began the process of trying to restore Sam's life- not that it seemed to be going too well.

'Put him down on the ground,' Starscream hissed. 'Or let me out of the water.'

Megatron refused to do the latter, and so Sam was flopped onto the grass like a dead fish.

Starscream eyed him for a moment before reaching out with a talon and prodding the human's chest.

'What on Cybertron are you doing?' Megatron demanded immediately, holding him back. 'Why must you touch the boy?'

'CPR!' Starscream shrieked furiously. 'I knew you didn't know anything about it! It- it involves chest compressions!'

'Humans thump on another's chest?' the commander asked incredulously.

'To mimic genuine circulation,' Starscream expanded. 'I'm surprised that it ever works at all.'

'If this doesn't work, I will thump on your chassis,' Megatron promised, letting him get back to the prodding. 'We will perfect the thumping technique. Don't say I never let you develop your skills. We will practice thumping until it does work.'

'But I'll still be alive,' the Seeker pointed out whilst jabbing firmly at Sam's chest. 'This is supposed to be performed when-'

'I do believe that this isn't working,' Megatron concluded icily. 'I suppose there is another stage to this CPR?'

'There is,' Starscream admitted, becoming more worried for his own survival. 'There is, but I absolutely refuse to try it. I will continue prodding him instead.'

After much anxious poking, the human coughed.

'Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, life,' Megatron enthused, watching Sam choke on water.

'May I get out of this lake now?' Starscream asked derisively, already flicking his wings and lifting himself out.

Megatron speedily grasped the Seeker by the wonderfully presented back of his neck. 'No, you may not.'

'But my thrusters!' Starscream wailed, already dreading the water re-entering his precious systems.

'Do I care about them?'

'You should!' the Seeker hissed, wriggling violently. 'Am I any good to you without the capacity for flight?'

'You could still irritate the enemy,' Megatron snapped.

'This isn't fair,' the smaller Decepticon growled. 'Did I or did I not retrieve you the boy and in addition save his life?'

'You know perfectly well how rude you were before.'

'But I still did it!' Starscream nearly whined.

'Of course you did it- I told you to. One orn, Starscream, you might follow my orders without questioning them.'

'I wouldn't be a very efficient second in command,' the Seeker disputed, attempting to squirm free again. 'I thought that one of my roles was to check over your ideas.'

'No, no. You check over plans, not my orders.'

'Your orders are part of plans!'

Megatron held him out over the water threateningly. 'I gave you a direct order, you absolute prat- they are not to be undermined and you know it.'

'I wasn't undermining,' Starscream attempted to justify with a slight whine. 'I was merely indicating my dislike for such a task-'

'You have done far worse under me than enter a lake.'

'Boy!' the Seeker cried suddenly, noting Sam sit up gingerly. 'Boy, wasn't that water absolutely hideous?'

Sam instinctively jerked in the opposite direction, then managed to calm himself. 'W-water? As in, that? There?'

'Why would anyone bother teaching him to speak?' Starscream wondered aloud.

'When you're flung in without warning- into the cold, coldness of it- I guess it is hideous!' Sam shouted furiously, then returned to a coughing fit.

'See?' Starscream scowled. 'Even the boy agrees with me.'

Megatron hurled the Seeker back into the lake, whereupon he promptly disappeared beneath the surface. 'Boy, how was your return to life?'

'I'm f-freezing,' Sam stuttered, arms trembling as he attempted to hug himself.

'You know what I discovered?' Starscream's helm popped up maliciously. 'Upon exiting icy water, a human should remove wet clothing to raise body temperature.'

'Get lost!' Sam howled. 'I'd rather die than lose my dignity! Get away from my clothes!'

Megatron's cannon shifted slightly- a second later, the water behind Starscream exploded in a giant wave.

The Decepticon had wisely made a decidedly swift dive.

Megatron eyed the shivering human with interest. 'What is this about the removal of clothing, boy? Starscream rarely suggests anything without some form of truth behind it, albeit occasionally an extremely slight truth.'

'LIES!' Sam shouted quickly, urging his mind to think up an excuse. 'Clothes are essential for heat! Essential!'

Megatron plucked him into the air. 'Would you die if they were removed?'

'Yes! Most definitely! It- it would be like peeling my skin off! Very, very painful and very fatal!'

Starscream popped up again, spluttering. 'That's a lie! And how can something be very fatal? It either is or isn't-'

'Did your mother never teach you that eavesdropping is rude?' Megatron snapped in a somehow blasé fashion.

'You know full well that I never ha-'

Megatron eyed Starscream witheringly. 'The boy would know better than you what would ensure his survival.'

'But he is lying on purpose!'

'What reason could he have for lying?'

'To hide something!' Starscream shrieked.

'Shut up,' Megatron snarled.

The Seeker sulkily and slowly retired underneath the surface again, optics burning resentfully.

'You look very clean, boy!' Megatron announced brightly.

'I'm going to die of hypothermia,' Sam wailed.

'But you're clean!'

'So?' Sam roared.

Megatron was slightly surprised by the passionate response. 'You must be pleased to be clean again.'

'I am freezing,' Sam managed to spit out between gritted teeth. 'Freezing. You know, chilled, totally icy? I would have thought you know what it's like to be cold.'

There was silence- nothing but the soft sway of water and rustling of leaves and the chattering of Sam's teeth. Eventually, the human glanced up, only to see some kind of bewilderment on the tyrant's face and... and something else he couldn't place-

'Cold?' Megatron suddenly spoke- but it was soft, confused.

'Yes.' Sam couldn't bring himself to snap. 'Cold. Pretty much an awful way to exist, you know?'

'What- what would I know about being cold?' he asked, almost frowning, optics fixed on nothing. 'I don't know what you're referring to.'

'...Well, could we go? I'm going to get a chill if I stay out here,' Sam mumbled. 'Like, be ill.'

'Ill?' Megatron was startled.

'You metallic types are obviously quite capable of being- being frozen and all, but I'm very delicate- not as delicate as my mother thinks but still delicate, I mean- got to wrap up warm with scarves and gloves- you know, not let the wind get to you? Catch a cold?'

This obviously sounded fairly serious to Megatron, who immediately eyed the water. 'Starscream!'

The mech didn't emerge.

'STARSCREAM!'

Still nothing- Megatron furiously blasted the water.

Just as the water settled again, a sudden undulation preceded Starscream's helm popping up, which then suspiciously glanced around with rapid movements. 'My lord, where did that fire originate from? Are you under attack?'

Megatron snapped his claws. 'I think you mean we. Are we under attack.'

'...No. If you were under attack, I was planning on quietly submerging.'

'We are leaving.'

'Goodo.' Starscream shot towards the edge, springing out to land momentarily on all fours.

Sam jumped in surprise, then cried out as the mech suddenly shook, water flying everywhere. Megatron, credit to him, managed not to twitch.

Starscream sighed, rotating something inwardly before flapping his wings vigorously- pelting the others with yet more water.

'He's very attention-seeking,' Megatron informed as Starscream tested his thrusters deafeningly.

'I would n-never have guessed.' Sam's teeth continued to chatter.

'What is that clicking action?'

'Like a rattlesnake,' Starscream cackled. 'He's going to attack you.'

'H-human response to cold,' Sam stuttered, closing his eyes tightly and shivering.

Starscream was busy checking over his every system and internal workings by the clicking and whirring sounds coming from his body.

'Cold?' Megatron asked quietly.

'Obviously,' Sam muttered miserably, still hugging himself wretchedly.

The human hardly noticed the casual claw adjustment until it resulted in him toppling into Megatron's chassis. He was about to complain half-heartedly when he realised that closer to Megatron's chassis was definitely closer to warmth.

Not being one to refuse such a beautiful gift, Sam swallowed his mind's immediate panic and leant against the heated metal, sighing with pleasure.

'Starscream!' Megatron began delightedly. 'We shall be walking back.'

The Seeker visibly froze, then flapped his wings once. 'Walking.'

'Yes. Using legs.'

'I have an issue with that.'

Megatron's mouth shifted slightly into a smirk. 'Do you have legs, Starscream?'

'I do, my liege.'

'Your problem, then?'

'I would like to respectfully draw attention to my legs,' Starscream began pleasantly.

'Very nice they are too.'

Sam glanced at the Seeker's legs. 'Why are they bendy?'

'They aren't bendy!' Starscream snapped furiously, then calmed himself. 'They are double-jointed.'

'Weiiiiiiiirdo,' Sam shrugged.

'You know that I can't walk that far,' Starscream suddenly pleaded.

'We have discussed this before,' Megatron firmly replied.

'But my legs aren't designed for long-distance walking!'

'What are they for if not for walking?' Sam asked, wrinkling his nose.

Starscream didn't feel the need to explain, instead eyeing Megatron desperately.

The commander continued the conversation in some other language.

Sam was happy enough to bathe in the glorious heat from the alien's chassis, so he didn't really mind being left out.

Starscream listened intently, wings pricking at certain points.

'How would that suit you?' Megatron asked abruptly.

'Suits me fine,' Sam replied- then had the crushing shame of realising that he hadn't been the intended recipient and cringed in humiliation.

Starscream looked fairly pleased. 'Thank you, my lord.'

In the end, it seemed that Megatron had appeased Starscream with some sort of bargain that the Seeker would walk most of the way and fly when he felt he had some sort of problem.

What the problem was, Sam wasn't so sure. And probably wasn't going to ask, either. It seemed a little personal.

There had been a point where Megatron had actually turned his cannon on the other mech and demanded he fly. This was probably due to Starscream's loud, continuous complaints and the rock that had 'accidentally' been kicked/knocked/alright, thrown at the commander.

Anyway, apart from this slight incident, the journey back was without problem.

It was later in the day that Soundwave came up with a foolproof method of making sure they didn't lose him.

'A wrist tag?' Megatron repeated.

'Wrist tag,' Soundwave re-repeated. 'Will provide boy's location.'

'Are you inferring that I cannot look after the boy myself?' Megatron demanded aggressively. 'I would not need such a thing!'

'Other mechs may lose him,' Soundwave explained. 'Example: Starscream.'

Starscream paused in his bouncing of a ball against the wall and spread his wings violently. 'Do you want to say that again, tentacle-freak?'

'I don't want a wrist tag!' Sam shouted loudly. 'I'll feel like some animal!'

Soundwave glanced at Starscream and waved a tendril before returning his attention to Megatron.

Starscream bounced the ball against the wall with a menacing thwanggg before approaching the commander himself. 'Master, you know how faithfully I have served you.'

Sam thought he heard Soundwave choke, but robots didn't choke. Right?

'What do you want now?' Megatron asked wearily.

'Only permission to attack Soundwave,' Starscream begged sweetly. 'Please, my lord?'

'No,' the silver mech replied firmly. 'No.'

'But-'

'You know very well that I will not tolerate infighting,' Megatron announced loudly. 'Especially not between highly ranking officers.'

Sam was sure that Soundwave gave Starscream a dirty look.

'If that tentacle comes waving in my direction again,' the Seeker smiled pleasantly, 'I will have no hesitation in introducing it to my faithful colleague, agony.'

'Suggestion,' Soundwave retorted tunefully. 'Starscream should try it.'

'You start,' Starscream hissed, optics brightening. 'I'm behaving for once.'

Sam watched incredulously. 'You both realise that Megatron said no infighting?'

'Affirmative, boy.' Soundwave replied.

Starscream deigned to almost look at him.

'And you're still standing right in front of him as you both square up to each other? Is- is there any sense in that? I mean, I'd at least wait until I was outside of the room-'

'Thank you, boy,' Megatron interrupted, then snapped his claws. The two Decepticons turned back to him. 'No fighting.'

Starscream flicked a wing carelessly. 'Just because I'd easily win.'

'Lies,' Soundwave sang.

'Try it, freak.'

'Soundwave,' Megatron surprisingly intervened. 'Put the tag on the boy.'

'Oh, come on!' Sam protested as a tentacle loomed towards and grabbed him firmly. 'I don't want one! I don't need one! Have I even tried to run away?'

'It isn't like we wouldn't be able to find him,' Starscream agreed, looking oddly unnerved. 'I disapprove of this.'

Sam strained furiously to get away as another tendril snapped a band around his wrist. 'This is mean!'

'Boy will sulk for some time,' Soundwave added. 'Boy will feel upset and trapped. Soundwave gathers this from experience. Starscream: has none of this.'

'At least I don't touch up satellites,' Starscream hissed viciously, returning to his previous activity, this time literally hurling the ball into the wall.

'It's for your own good, boy!' Megatron tried to make the human feel better.

'I hate you!' Sam shouted.

'Perfectly natural,' Soundwave nodded knowledgeably. 'Boy will feel better soon.'

If they were expecting 'soon' to be within a couple of hours, they were wrong.

'Soon' didn't come until a somewhat large distraction.

The Decepticons seemed fairly busy- well, as busy as the Decepticons got.

Not that Sam cared.

Sam, plucking miserably at his wrist tag, failed to notice the tendril heading for him until it had wrapped itself around his abdomen. A shout escaped him as it tightened and lifted him up and over- he wriggled furiously.

This had to be Soundwave again.

Then again, perhaps it would be better not to struggle. Soundwave had been nice thus far, on the brief occasion Sam had seen him. Apart from the wrist tag, the filthy swine.

He heaved once more at the tendril, both palms pushing at it, then gave up.

Soundwave's tentacle carried him over to where the mech was standing- which was facing Megatron.

'What now?' The commander sighed deeply.

'Favour; Soundwave will ask it,' Soundwave proposed.

'...Do I owe you anything?'

'Answer: yes. Evidence: Soundwave aids Lord Megatron with personal-'

'Blahblah. Hand me the boy.'

'Ravage; condition: agitated.' Soundwave informed, getting to the problem and dropping Sam gently into Megatron's hand at the same time. 'Solution; walk.'

'Megatron; too busy,' Megatron replied, then cursed. 'Your infernal method of speaking is contagious! Go and speak to that wall!' He squeezed Sam happily, only releasing the pressure when the human twitched. '...Ooops. Sorry, boy. Couldn't stop myself.'

Soundwave valiantly turned to face the inanimate object and persisted. 'Soundwave; schedule full to capacity. Ravage; exercise.'

'Ravage is a big kitty. He can go by himself.'

'Fear; will chase wildlife again.'

'Can't you see I'm busy... with the boy?' Megatron flicked Sam gently.

The claw slammed into the teenager's forearm.

Sam yelped- or failed to, rather. The reflexive cry lodged in his throat, which began to close up. He wheezed desperately, his breaths shortening.

'The boy looks thrilled!' Megatron cried.

Soundwave was watching a little more closely as Sam's widened eyes watered, chest heaving.

'Boy cannot breathe.'

'Of course he can. Even the boy is not so stupid as to forget how to breathe.' Megatron peered at Sam.

'Boy's throat is constricting,' Soundwave suggested. 'Boy cannot intake oxygen.'

'Why the frag don't we have a medic around here?' Megatron demanded angrily.

'Decepticons are too strong for medics,' Starscream mocked, bouncing a ball against the wall. 'What use are the injured? If a mech is too injured to continue fighting, the Decepticons do not require him!'

'Shut up,' Megatron hissed, fusion cannon unsubspacing.

'I'm only reminding you of what you say.'

'Medic; unnecessary,' Soundwave commented. 'Solution: found.'

Sam, silently choking and trying to suck oxygen through his tiny airway, watched in abject horror as a tentacle waved its way towards him. He shook his head frantically, arms waving desperately.

'What is that action?' Megatron demanded, slightly interested.

'Encouragement,' Soundwave explained. 'See: limbs wave eagerly.'

Megatron looked a tad upset that nothing thrilling was happening, and returned his attentions to Starscream.

Sam attempted to breathe again. If he just ignored the idiots and was able to calm down, he would be fine. He opened his mouth to intake a little air calmly... and cold metal thrust its way in.

'Nonono!' he managed to rasp.

'Relax, boy.' Soundwave replied smoothly.

Sam could feel the tendril edging towards the back of his throat- he tried to jerk his head away, reflexively retching.

The tentacle prodded him.

'What are you doing to my boy?' Megatron indignantly roared. The claws around Sam's midsection tightened slightly as he was rapidly pulled away. 'Stupid Soundwave. Starscream, deal with him.'

There was an excited snarl.

Sam gave up on life and decided to die.

Right, eyes shut. He wasn't breathing already, so that was sorted.

That would teach those Autobots. They'd never manage to win another battle without him doing something. How had they ever managed to win without him?

'Boy?'

Must be Megatron still.

'Boy, what are you doing?'

Well, he could get lost. Sam kept both eyes firmly closed.

'BOY!' Then a pause, bewildered. 'Boy, you're not allowed to die.'

Sam felt his body be adjusted slightly, and he was pressed against something hard and warm.

'...Boy?'

It was quite relaxing, really. Warm, slightly... fuzzy? Was fuzzy the right word? No- perhaps vibrating. Was it vibrating slightly?

Fine, then. He'd just peek at whatever it was, then he'd get back to dying. He sneakily shifted one eyelid to just peer out- a mass of metallic silver seemed to be the object he was against.

Ah, now that was odd. He was breathing again. Perhaps he'd already died and was about to leave his body.

Sorry, 'bee, he thought mournfully as he welcomed the pure sensation of breathing.

Turning slightly, he saw a tiny gap in his silver bubble of protection. Perhaps he was already floating up to heaven. Gee, no time was wasted around here. He decided to peek through the gap, see how far he had ascended.

...

Alright, so Starscream ferociously attacking Soundwave- and the latter attempting to tentacle-bind the other- wasn't what he had anticipated.

He glanced up. It was an odd angle- he couldn't see much. There was a low, odd sound- he couldn't identify the source. He irritably pushed at what he assumed was Megatron's claws (well, they might be blocking his path to the afterlife).

There was a pause in the harsh, deep noises, and the claws parted slightly.

'Boy?' Megatron peered down at him.

'I'd like to be going now,' Sam replied stiffly.

'You're alive?'

'Why so shocked?' Sam scowled, realising he was actually having a nice lie-down in the mech's palm. That was ridiculous. He struggled to his feet, a hand on the smooth metal to the opposite side of the claws.

'You're not dying?'

'No!' The human hesitated. 'Wait, you've got me worried now. Am I bleeding so bad I don't know? Like, as in I can't feel it because it's so serious? I'm numb? What if I am dying-!'

The claws snapped shut again, and Sam fell to the side with a yelp, scuttling backwards into the nice, warm- his slow mind finally worked out the angles and distances and provided the word- chest.

Oh dear lord. He was being held like some sort of invalid. How demeaning. He kicked the claws miserably.

'Megatron-! This isn't fair!'

There was no response. He pulled himself up onto his knees and attempted to find light. Surely there was a gap somew- ah!

A small chink of light shone though a tiny crack in the claws. He pressed an eye to it, and tried to work out what he was seeing, at the same time noting that deep sound again. It was quietly intense. Alien.

He could make out quite a few Decepticons.

Soundwave- looking slightly ruffled.

Starscream- as far as Sam knew him- didn't look happy. Not that Sam had ever seen him look particularly thrilled. Never mind. Black and white? Barricade? No, he didn't look happy either. Sam couldn't identify the parts he could see of the others.

Starscream opened his mouth to speak-

Sam frowned. The speech wasn't human, he was sure of it. Nor did it even sound like any of the languages he had heard the Autobots use when speaking to each other rapidly.

No, this was lower, sharper-

Starscream was bristling violently as he spoke- the other Decepticons looked fairly mutinous.

Not that they were heard out- Megatron's hair-raising snarl ended any kind of dispute.

Sam shivered and sank down, unable to repress a whimper.

The commander was speaking again- firmly. Even in a completely foreign language, there was no denying a weight behind his tone.

There was a dark hiss, and then a subdued, low chorus response from the others.

Feeling like crying, Sam curled up miserably. There was a slightly murmur, and then the claws parted again.

'Boy?' Megatron rumbled.

'They're going to kill me.' Sam intended for the statement to be quiet, doomed. Maybe even slightly noble. Instead his voice cracked halfway through, warping into a horrifyingly embarrassing squeal.

He thwacked his head into the claw behind him.

The giant mech firmly pushed Sam into his chassis.

The human wriggled unhappily against it, then rethought, and patted it awkwardly. 'You- you know what? Um, thank you, huge guy, I'm okay now- '

Megatron sighed. For a moment, Sam thought he would be freed, then-

Apparently it was possible to be even more firmly and forcefully pressed against Megatron's chassis.

'Boy, it's nothing.'

Sam gave up. Cybertronians just did not understand subtle hints.

Startlingly, there was movement- the Decepticon had obviously had enough of standing still.

Sam clutched onto a claw with a gulp. 'Where are we going?'

'I'm putting you to bed,' Megatron declared. 'You have had a lot of excitement, and Optimus said you need a bountiful amount of rest.'

There was absolutely no point in arguing.

Sam dully noticed doors opening and closing, and, after a moment or two of actually being deposited, registered that he was in his cage.

This time, however, Megatron did not leave the room. Something was different.

Sam flopped onto the cushion and tried to smother himself. It didn't work.

Nor, in fact, did the wistful breath-holding.

It just got painful.

There was a sigh. 'Stop it, boy.'

It seemed that he wasn't even allowed to try and kill himself. With a sniff, Sam rolled onto his side and eyed his wrist tag miserably. Hopefully the Autobots would return for him soon.

Surely they'd be missing him, just a little bit.

'Hah!' Sideswipe cried. 'Just look at that moat!'

Prowl eyed it approvingly. 'Good job. You need to deepen that short section by just one fourth of a millimeter.'

The silver Corvette shot off across the sand immediately, and carefully- oh so carefully- used his blade to scrape an appropriate depth. 'Right, Prowlie?'

'Perfect.' Prowl suddenly paused, then commed the other twin. 'Sunstreaker.'

'Yo, Prowlie!'

'Where is the sand? You are supposed to be bringing sand!'

'I am, Prowlie!'

'No, Sunstreaker! I know exactly what you're doing. You're posing in front of humans.'

'In my alternate, Prowlie! They love-'

'Shall I tell you what I love, Sunstreaker? Results.'

'Sorry, Prowlie! On the move, Prowlie!'

Prowl sighed heavily, then glanced across to the other team.

Hot Rod seemed to be also posing on top of a giant mound of sand. (Primus knew where they had acquired it from.)

Bumblebee was watching him with a slight frown.

Prowl could hear his music clips from the other side of the beach.

'You got to go dig those holes...!' the yellow Camaro was crying indignantly.

'Sorry, 'bee! A mech's gotta pose when a mech's gotta pose!'

'Some guys have all the luck,' a man complained from the young Autobot's radio.

'Well, I don't see you digging the hole.'

'I still got sand in my shoes!'

'You don't have any shoes. Teamwork, 'bee. It's teamwork.' Hot Rod finally jumped down from his sand-podium and slapped the smaller mech on the back, nearly smacking a doorwing. 'Right- let's do this!'

'We don't even have any sand,' Sideswipe muttered resentfully.

Prowl hadn't realised that the silver Autobot had been watching the other team as well. 'We have plenty of sand, Sideswipe. Sunstreaker is just making sure it is of the optimum quality.'

'Did someone say my name?' Optimus roared from a distance.

'OPTIMUM,' Prowl howled back.

'That isn't my name!' the Prime bellowed, hurt. 'I thought you would know that, Prowl!'

'Focus,' Sideswipe reminded the tactician. 'We need your processor, Prowlie.'

Sunstreaker arrived, panting gleefully- and unsubspaced a beastly load of sand into the moat.

The silver Corvette moaned in agony. 'Bro, my moat!'

'No matter!' his twin laughed deliriously. 'Ratchet's about to distract the other team. You watch.'

'Oh, like he distracted you by telling you about the human congregation to the south? He knew you couldn't resist going!' Sideswipe hissed.

Ratchet was gleefully shouting at unsuspecting mechs. 'Hot Rod! Did you know that if you look at the sky from exactly the right angle, the stars spell out your name?'

'No way?' the orange Autobot cried, neck cracking back to view the sky.

'The stars aren't out tonight,' Bumblebee wailed desperately, pulling at his arm.

'He's going to be looking up for a good while,' Prowl determined. 'Sunstreaker, that was a disgusting trick.'

'Sorry, Prowlie.'

The twins weren't sure whether they misheard the suddenly wickedly smiling tactician's next words or not.

'But it will give us a fine headstart.'

Next time: we'll see what happens when the Decepticons realise that Sam needs food and Ravage demands his walk. Heheh. xD

My greatest thanks to everybody who favourited, alerted, and especially to reviewers and people who left ideas. Cx Come on, now. There must be something you can think of to ruin Sam's existence. Just think of all the trouble he's caused!

PS. If you have time, please check out 9aza's work, especially The Early Stages of War- she's a great writer. C: You'll find her link on my profile.

Till next time, everybody! :D