Month Two

It's official. I'm pregnant. If the missed period and the stick turning pink weren't enough to convince me, than the morning sickness certainly was.

I'm lying on the floor of the bathroom, my cheek against the cold tile. I've been spending a lot of time in here lately, hugging the toilet, throwing up, nearly passing out. I've been in this bathroom so many times that I've now named the spider who lives in the corner. I call him Larry.

Although I'm excited about the baby, it's hard to be happy right now. I'm starting to wonder what I got myself into. I never understood women complaining about morning sickness. I never thought it was this bad. Somehow I thought I would be immune to all this, that being the Slayer would somehow magically take this icky feeling away. But as it turns out, I'm just like any other pregnant woman, throwing up and feeling queasy 24/7. Why do they call it "morning sickness" anyway?

I feel so helpless. I try to do whatever I can to make her feel more comfortable. She's lying on the bathroom floor again. Minutes before, I held her hair back as she got sick for the second time this morning. She hasn't been able to hold down her breakfast all week.

"Drink this," I say, holding the glass of water I had brought to her. She sits up slowly, takes a small sip, and swishes it around her mouth. After a few more sips, she sits the glass aside and looks up at me with tired eyes. She looks pale, and it breaks my heart to see her this way.

"Do you think you'll be sick again?"

She shakes her head no.

"Good. Come on." I pick her up from the floor and carry her to our bedroom, then lay her down on the bed and grab a blanket to wrap her up in. Buffy's been sleeping a lot lately. All of the books say that's completely normal, so I'm not too worried. I want her to rest anyway. She looks like she could use a nap.

"Stay with me," she asks, reaching out and taking hold of my arm.

I nod and get into the bed with her.

"Just hold me for a little while, okay?" she whispers, and I can tell she's going to fall asleep in just a few minutes.

I wrap my arm around her, her back against my chest, holding her close to me. And we sleep.