Chapter 2.5
Rivaille's P.O.V
Sitting under a tree's shade in the courtyard, I looked at the wall across the city. It was well made, a good 50 meters in height. Most people see the wall as protection, but I see it as a cage. We're all caged birds within these walls, though no one thinks of it like that. Well, Eren shares my opinion on this matter at least. Oh god, Eren. Why the hell did I do that earlier? I've always been able to keep a façade, in any and every situation. I've kept calm when I'm on the brink of death, when others have betrayed me, and when my comrades have died in front of me. But Eren, he's able to cause me to lose my cool. How? I always noticed him when he was still a child. When the scouting Legion returned from the outside, there was always a young boy looking at me in admiration. I later found that he obtained the position of rank 5 in his graduating class, and to my surprise, can turn into a titan. That day when he revived Trost District, I was so anxious to help him. When I saved his life, the look in his eyes ensnared my heart. Since then, I've been playing favorites. Pushing him to his limits to make him stronger, but also being most protective of him when he's in danger. I can't do this. I'm not allowed to. He's a solider, I am the corporal. Besides, how can he like someone like me? I'm sure I beat him up more times than he has killed titans. And yet, the way he looks at me…I can't let my feelings get in the way of a job. If I really care about him, I should push him away…before it's too late. My heart sinks thinking that I can't have him. Simply suppressing my feelings with him so close takes all of my willpower.
-step-
I snapped out of my thoughts and saw Eren looking at me with a worried expression. I quickly decide to cover up my emotions and look at him adamantly.
"Jaeger" I say as nonchalantly as I could, but accidentally letting out emotion.
"Sir, he started, smiling, "I just wanted-"
I cut him off. I was getting anxious. He's probably going to bring up the incident from earlier today. How am I going to explain that? He can't grow attached. I must break it off now. This is probably my last chance.
"If you are here to discuss what happened earlier this afternoon, I assure you, it won't happen again." I say sternly
Just then, Eren put on a pained expression that nearly shattered my heart. He abruptly grabbed my collar and kissed me, and for a second, I gave into the temptation. Recovering my senses, I decided to make him give up. Kicking him twice, he was backed up against the tree, gasping for breath. I look down at him, leaning in. Trying to be intimidating, I lower my voice.
"Insolent brat. Did you really think you could get away with this?" I growl
Despite my threats and coercion, he continues to look at me yearningly. How am I supposed to take that? To stare at me with those desire-filled-eyes as I beat him down, my monopolistic urges will surface, and there would be no going back. Please don't drive me that far. I'm holding back for you Eren, why are you making it so difficult? He breaks the silence.
"Corporal Rivaille, how exactly do you feel about me? Don't say that your kiss earlier was a joke. Please sir" He says firmly
Contradicting his voice, his eyes were begging me. Nearing my limit, I closed my eyes. If I saw that look, I wouldn't be able to react calmly. I needed a mature response. At this point, I couldn't call it a joke. But…I didn't want to hurt him either.
-sigh-
"Jaeger… I will admit that I acted upon my desires today, and I will apologize for that. I laid my hands on a younger man, and a solider no less. There's…no excuse for what I have done." I respond
Mature? Not wanting to hurt him? It can't be both simultaneously. Great. such a half-assed response.
Then, Eren wrapped his arms around me and pulled me toward him. I kept myself from attacking him, but that in itself took up all my self restraint. I needed to run away, but I couldn't. My body refused to listen to me. Deep inside, I wanted this moment to last forever. To feel the warmth of the one I love. His head is resting on my chest now. "Can he hear my heartbeat?" I wondered, but to my relief, my jacket was thick enough that I'm positive he can't hear it. Just as I thought my control was returning to me, Eren broke my defense once again.
"I love you corporal" he whispered to me
Shit. I can't hold back much longer. Impulsively, Ran my fingers though his hair. I just needed to feel him. To ensure that he was here. In the spur of the moment, he grabbed my face and kissed me. I could tell he trying to imitate my kissing from earlier today. It was so cute that it was absolutely remarkable that I was able to hold back my reactions. He somehow managed to disjoin my lips and interject his tongue. He pushed his tongue around the inside of my mouth. That's it. I could feel the last thread of my constraint snap. I refuse to be pushed around by my junior. I start ravel my tongue with his. I started to dominate, pushing my tongue into his mouth with more force than I intended. I reached his throat, and I could feel his body tremble slightly, as if asking for more. He squeezed me tighter, and this time, I returned the hug. We went on for a while, when Eren abruptly gasped for air. What a cute reaction, idiot. I couldn't help but to grin at that.
"What a mood breaker." I joked, "You do realize that you can breathe through your nose right?"
I can see his face start to flush as he tried to hide his embarrassment with his hand. Before he could hide himself, I grabbed his wrist. He just looked so enticing! Cheeks red, lips wet, with a thin trail of saliva from the corner of his mouth to his chin.
"Don't cover your face, it's cute" I said softly.
Crap. The words just slipped out. Really…only he can pull that off, drawing such words from me.
"S-sir," he stutters, "Does this mean you accept my feelings?"
Dammit. There's no avoiding that question now. My actions have restricted anymore excuses. My senses are finally returning to me. As a corporal, this isn't acceptable.
-sigh-
"I'm not sure if I can" I say reluctantly
"W-…what?" he asks, with an utterly puzzled look on his face
"This relationship won't do you any good." I try to explain to him
His face contorted to such a pained expression when I said that. His eyes pleading for my acceptance. He was getting desperate, I can tell. I can see love reflected in his eyes, something I've never experienced before. He wants me. me, for myself. Not some for some stupid title or position. He wants me as a person, and that had always been my dream as a child. to be loved. I have long forgotten that dream, and shut myself from the world and other people. Eren, however, has reawakened that desire in me.
"I don't care! Please Corporal! I want only you. I don't even care of what other people think about us. I promise to-" he started begging
I cut him off, putting my finger against his lips. I take back all that I've said before. Rank? Job? It doesn't matter. This would be considered a taboo, forbidden love. But who cares? Eren is willing to submit to me, become mine. Therefore, I'm ready to abandon my logic for him. Set down my pride, even. I smirk at my new follow-up.
"That's not what I meant. I've been holding back for a while now, so keep saying cute things like that, and I'll push you down in no time." I hum to him
His stunned expression was cute, but the smile that followed after was bewitching.
"Help yourself" he invites
I'll definitely take that offer.
So i got a suggestion to do Levi's POV, and viola! I really appreciate reviews! thank you so much (as I am a total rookie) I'm not sure... Which POV is better?