I mouthed 'Fuck you' to him through his car window.

He just smiled as if he was saying 'Me?'

I rolled my eyes, and got on my bike. He thinks he's so goddamn clever because he got a license. Mother fucking…

I started cycling down the bike lane. I turned around to see Leo following me slowly. That idiot is going to cause traffic…

Now… What was I dreaming about this morning? It seems like something I should rememb-

HONK!

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted, one hand on the handle bars, one hand covering one of my ears. I swerved off onto the sidewalk. It took me a second to get back on the bike lane.

Fucking Leo honked the damn horn!

I let go of my ear, and flipped him off. He was laughing his God damn ass off in there.

He pulled up next to me, and rolled down the window.

"You should've seen your face!" He shouted, laughing uncontrollably.

"You are a fucking idiot!" I shouted at him, which only made him laugh harder.

Then I realized something, the left side of his car is on the wrong side of the street.

And a car was car was coming…

"Shit! Look out!"

He turned his head towards the road, and his eyes widened.

He hit the brakes, pulled behind me and got on the right side of the road again, narrowly missing the oncoming car.

The other driver honked and stuck a middle finger out of his window.

I looked behind me, and Leo had a big grin on his face. What the fuck? Does he take pleasure in near head-on collisions?

He pulled up next to me again, this time staying on his own road.

"What the fuck was that! Are you trying to kill yourself!" I shouted at him.

"Is that concern I hear in your voice?" He said, and gave a smug smile.

"I don't want to be around when your guts have skidded across the road. I might get a stain on my jacket." I said dryly.

"Face it. You're concerned with my safety."

"I really, REALLY, want to kick you in the balls right now."

"But you can't because your feet are occupied working the pretty pink petals. Hey, guess what I can do and you can't!"

HONK!

I held my left ear in annoyance.

"Quit fucking doing that!" I shouted.

He finally drove ahead, and turned into his driveway.

I ride into his yard, get off the bike, and leave it in his yard. I walked over to Leo as he got out of the car.

As soon as he closed his car door and turned around, I kicked him in the groin as hard as I can.

He yelped in pain before grabbing his crotch and falling into a fetal position on the floor.

He lied there for a minute, coughing every few seconds, before getting up steadily.

"OK. I deserved that." He coughed about three times.

"I really should've seen that coming…" He said as he wiped a tear from his eye.

I started to laugh. He rolled his eyes and walked to his front door.

"Why does everyone see fit to laugh at my pain?" He asked.

"Because your pain brings a smile to my face." I told him with a smirk.

"Mhmm… *COUGH* sadist *COUGH*" (Thank you for that note, Jerksue Trollbitch)

"What was that?"

"Nothing, don't worry about it." He grinned innocently.

He looks cute when he smiles like that… Although I will never tell him that… EVER.

I had a crush on him at one point. Back in middle school. Hell, even now he's still good looking. But this is Leo. We've been best friends since we were eight. I always wondered how he would react if I asked him out back in middle school. I had always wished that life had a save button, so I could ask him out, see the results, and if they're not good, reload before I did it.

But I got over that long ago. Besides, he never seemed interested in anything beyond friendship.

Maybe it's my fur? He clearly never liked the color pink.

Friendship is best, I suppose. Something tells me we wouldn't have been a good couple. I have more of a dominant nature… Guys don't like that apparently. My last two boyfriends never led to anything because of that.

Well. Guess I'm dying a virgin. Just like 95% of the WoW community. Except I never played WoW. It's one thing to buy a game and play it. But there is no way in fuck I'm paying by the month for that bullshit. I'm perfectly happy with Fallout 3.

Leo snapped his fingers in front of my face.

"Are you in there? What the hell are you thinking about? New ideas for your fanfictions, 'YaoiObessedFanGirl?'"

"Fuck off." I said, before punching him in the gut. He barely flinched.

"Nice try, but I've grown an immunity!" He said standing tall, proud of himself.

"Your legs are open." I pointed out.

"Yeah, so… SHI-" He was cut off by me kicking his groin again. He let out a moan of pain before falling onto the concrete walkway.

About a minute later, he got back up.

"Will you quit kicking me in the nuts?"

I chuckled.

"Maybe you should've 'grown an immunity' for them." I said with a smirk, before walking into his house.

"That's not funny! Every time you kick me there, you slaughter 100,000 innocent children! It's genocide!" His ears went back.

"Every single child I just killed would've grown up to be just like you. I just saved the world from yet another idiot invasion."

"You'll see! One day, my kind will rule!"

"That's the only advantage idiots have… Numbers…"

I grabbed the PlayStation 3 controller, and sat on the couch, waiting for him to set up the system.

He seemed to be distracted by something. I sat up. He was looking at a blood stain on his sleeve from the bloody nose he had earlier.

I sat back down, still waiting.

"Leo, what are you-"

He stuck his claws in the shoulder of his shirt, and tore it down his arm.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"There was a stain on my shirt."

"So you rip the whole arm off!"

"Hmmm… Maybe I should even it out."

He then tore off the other shirt's arm.

"Well, now it's completely ruined… Unless you're going for the 'gay biker' look." I told him, as I face palmed.

"You're right."

He then used his claws to tear the middle of the shirt in half, and pull it off.

…Not bad.

He then flexed his arms.

"Sexy, no?" He asked me in a Spaniard accent.

It was at that moment I noticed I was staring… And blushing… But he didn't seem to notice, lucky for me.

He then looked down.

"There is some dust on my pants! This will not do at all…"

Alright this is getting weird.

"Goodbye." I told him, and started walking the other direction.

"Relax, I'm kidding. I didn't like that shirt anyway. I'm going to put on another, you set up Modern Warfare 2. I'll kick your ass in versus." He said, as he walked upstairs to his room.

I shook my head of any stray thoughts.

Right then, where is it?

I walked over to his game shelf, and looked through the PS3 section.

Assassins Creed 2… No. Red Dead Redemption… No. Bioshock… No. Ah, here we are. Modern Warfare 2.

Alright. Disc is in, versus mode activated, select profiles…

DickKickerOver9000… That would be me.

OvaryPuncherUnder9000… That's Leo.

I laughed when he first came up with that name after I made mine.

He would never hit me. From what I recall, he likes to be gentlemanly. Although he does injure my brain every time he does something remarkably stupid. It makes that brain tumor grow another centimeter.

I have to say that he is funny most of the time… Until he gets annoying… This happens quickly… That's when I hit him.

But he somehow never stops smiling. No matter how badly I hurt him. (Although I never really TRY to hurt him badly. A punch to the shoulder and the occasional kick to the groin aren't too much.)

But it's not just me, but whenever something bad happens, he somehow finds a way to laugh about it. Just today, he gets injured somehow by the nurse, trips and faceplants on the road, and gets kicked in the nuts twice by me, and his mood isn't even affected.

An admirable feature. With me being the only friend he knows in real life, and his mother dying at a young age, and his father never being home, you'd think he would have more of a bitter attitude.

This is why I'm friends with him. If he were some bitter assmunch like all of the other video game nerds back in school, I would not be at his house.

Why can't all guys be like him? Sure he gets annoying, but better than almost every jock asshole out there that never fucking stops talking about sports, urrg. Reminds me of my ex.

But I guess that's my opinion. I'm sure some girl somewhere out there actually likes those kinds of assholes.

I sighed. I guess that's why I write so many fanfictions. There's no such fucking thing as the perfect man.

I continued to sit on the couch, waiting. Jesus, how long have I been thinking? What the fuck is taking Leo so long?

I walked upstairs to his room, and knocked on the door.

"What the hell are you doing in there?"

"Looking for my collar. Come in."

I opened the door. He was currently looking underneath his bed. He was wearing a blue long sleeved shirt. Does he have any shirts that aren't blue and long sleeves?

His room is pretty bland. Basic bed. Basic dresser. Basic mirror. Basic desk. Basic computer.

A little customization wouldn't go unheard of.

"Where did you last leave it?" I asked him.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be looking for it."

"You forgot? You were wearing it yesterday. It's not like you have a drinking problem."

"Maybe in two years. I'll be knee deep in beer."

"Please, you couldn't even finish a can when we were 13."

"I was 13! Come on!"

"So was I, I finished the can."

"And you puked." He pointed out.

"But I finished it." I laughed.

Four years later, he is still the exact same… Besides height variation I mean. He never changed.

I walked beside his computer, and I noticed the cloths he was wearing yesterday next to the desk. I moved the jeans out of the way, and I picked up the collar.

Blue collar, big blue bell. It doesn't ring, it's mainly for show. He said he found it off some dead guy. I knew he was lying, he was just trying to fuck with me when he said that.

As for my Triforce Zelda necklace? He gave it to me when we were 12. It was always special to me, although I never told him that. And never will. It's weird how no matter how good a friend someone is, you never really want to tell them how much they mean to you.

I turned to him.

"It couldn't possibly be in the pile of clothing you wore yesterday, could it? You know, since you were wearing the collar yesterday and all." I said, as he turned around.

"Yeah yeah…" He said as he snatched it out of my hand, and fastened it around his neck.

He walked out of the room, I followed shortly after.

"Alright, so we're doing versus right? I'm not in the mood for the blac-" He was cut off, as he walked down the stairs, he tripped on his own foot, fell forward, rolled a few steps, before hitting the back of his head on the hand rail, and rolling limply down to the floor.

"Holy shit! Leo! Are you alright!" I asked, as I ran down the stairs after him.

Shit that looked brutal. He was currently lying face down on the floor, making no movement.

I knelt down to him. Is he dead? No, he just fell down the stairs, it can't be that serious… Can it? He could've broken his neck on the railing. Shit shit shit shit…

I rolled him onto his back, and put my head against his chest. A heartbeat, good.

But he hit his head pretty hard, he could be paralyzed.

Ok, call an ambulance, everything will be fine. Wait, shit! I left my phone at home when I went to the clinic! Leo's phone!

I dug into his pocket, and took out the phone. Battery dead… GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!

I ran around the house, trying to find a home phone. I found a phone charger, but not a phone! What the fuck! Who the hell doesn't have a home phone!

Calm down Aeris… You're thinking the worst. He's probably just unconscious.

His nose is bleeding again… And his ear? Why is his ear bleeding! Shit this is not good, not good!

I grabbed him by his arms, and dragged him to the couch.

I laid him down on the couch, and put a pillow underneath his head.

"Stay right there."

I ran upstairs to his computer. I opened up Google search.

Search: ear bleeding causes

Infections, loud noises, massive head trauma… massive head trauma! Fuck!

Alright… What do I do?

A = Airway with cervical spine control

B = Breathing

C = Circulation with control of bleeding

I ran downstairs. He was clearly bleeding out the ears and nose. I ran to him, and checked his breathing. He was breathing still, his neck does not appear to be broken in any way, but he's bleeding out of his ears!

How do I tell if he's conscious…? Pain reflex!

I sighed.

"Sorry." I said, before punching him in the stomach, not hard, but enough to be painful.

His arm flinched. Ok, so he is not paralyzed, he is not dead, he is clearly unconscious, and he is still bleeding out the ears… Now what!

I sighed… I guess I wait. Nothing I can do.

About thirty minutes passed. I am getting tired, and he hasn't made any movement. His ears and nose finally stopped bleeding. I cleaned the blood off of his fur before it dried.

I can't imagine how unlucky this day must feel to him. He's gotten hurt so many times within a few hours, it's almost criminal.

I had originally left the PS3 on, in case he woke up and it was nothing serious, but the music got annoying, so I turned it off.

What if he's in a coma?

"C'mon Leo. You've been through worse. Like that time you got mauled by a dog. You walked, well, limped away from that one. All you did is fall down some stairs!" I said, growing unsteady.

I sighed. I know if I had fallen down the stairs, and was in this situation, he would be able to drive me to a hospital…

Me? All I can do is Google medical information.

I feel so useless. Just sitting here, waiting…

It was only 6:00 pm, yet I already felt tired.

It wasn't long before my eyes slowly closed…

In case you didn't put the dates together in the prologue, they're both 17 years old. Just to clear confusion.

Also, another fun fact, the legal drinking age in their part of Canada is 19.

Well, no random ramblings today… Soooo… Yeah… Why are you still here? Does anyone even read this text?

Oh, and one last thing.

Review Dammit!